CM Daisuke Airyu, reporting in for the week of 3/31-4/6, 2001
Since LT Seithen resembles a dead fish as of late, I've decided to replace him as cohost with my second-in-command of the Shinsen Gumi, LCM Yutzka Serovich. So, without further ado,
THIS WEEK'S GRUDGE MATCH
Lobster Magnet
vs
A chick magnet
Airyu: With us here today is a former Typhoon pilot. Everyone welcome our good friend LCM Vader.
Vader: *looks sexy*
Serovich: Don't get the wrong idea, you're here to prove a point. Here, hold this *gives Vader a lobster*
Airyu: And now we wait.
*time passes. throngs of women flock over to Vader*
Vader: Uh, this sucks. I'm leaving.
Serovich: I... wouldn't recommend that.
Random floozy: Don't talk to our Vadie like that!!! Let's teach him a lesson!!! *swarms of the women attack Yutzka viciously and without remorse*
Vader: Why the hell did I even bother... damn publicity stunts. *sets the lobster down on a plate on a nearby table*
Airyu: Wait!! Don't-
The lobster jumps up and claw Vader's ear, and goes for his eye, when Airyu takes out an industrial-strength electromagnet. The lobster flies rapidly away from Vader's face and sticks to the magnet.
Airyu: *points to the lobster* Lobster sticks to magnet!!!
Serovich: (from under a pile of angry women) RIGHT CLAW SOUTH!!! *hacks up blood*
Airyu: I'm going to have to declare Lobster Magnet the- *is cut off as Vader smashes the lobster with a big ol' mallet* nevermind, then. The chick magnet wins.
Moral: Don't put a lobster on a plate, he'll use his magnet to escape, he'll jump right up and claw your ear, and then he'll bite your EEEYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! LOBSTER STICKS TO MAGNET!!!
(If you wonder what the hell I took this from, go to www.512productions.com and look around for Lobster Magnet. It's their most famous/notorious movie, so be amazed or amused, whichever you please)
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FLEET NEWS
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IWATS GFX AND ICQ ONLINE
Yay. Ast got all the stuff working rather automatedly. Go take the Graphics test, it's easy and you can use one of your submissions from ECR3 if need be :P It makes you and me look good.
NEW CA:XO SELECTED
AD Quake has been promoted (?) from Lord Ambassador to Kawolski's attache. Gratz to him, and whoever he selects as the new LA.
XWA LEAGUE 3 ENDS
Ranger Squadron more or less dominated. Yay them... and an even bigger yay to Odin Squadron, who managed a respectable grand total of 12 points.
ZSINJ HAS AN OPEN POSITION
The COO is looking for a second assistant. So if you're interested in becoming COOA2, then email him and MAJ Brucmack... and tell me, so I can eat you.
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CHAL NEWS
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COFO GOES ON LEAVE
While the cat's away, the mice will steal his beer. In the meantime, COL Manitsas is the acting Commodore. Only until the 11th, thank the maker :P
WE WERE DEAD LAST IN ECR3
But nobody cares, do we!?! Now the Rel has to look all nice and yeah, whereas we get to be the slobs, slackers, and sluts that we are. Good ol' Wing X.
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TYPHOON HAPPENINGS
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PILOTS SHUFFLING AROUND LIKE MAD NOW
LCM Serovich came in early this week from Hunter Squadron, on board the SSD Avenger. He has been promoted to FL of Flight Three. Also, due to inactivity, MAJ Rich has been demoted to FM 1-4. I am taking applications for FL, so any of you LCMs can throw in your resume :P
LT SAAK ANNOUNCES INTENT TO LEAVE
In an email to me several days ago, Lieutenant Saak informed me that he was planning on transferring back over to the Avenger. He'll be sticking around through the grudge match, so don't get too discouraged.
LCM RICHLET RETURNS FROM LEAVE
He got his Internet connection back today. And for the time being, drinks are on him. Let's show him the error of that offer...
Arrivals:
LCM Yutzka Serovich (Hunter, Avenger Wing I) ----> FM 1-2
Departures:
NONE
Movement:
MAJ Rich ---> FM 1-4
LCM Yutzka Serovich --> FL 3
Awards:
LCM Richlet - Palpatine's Crescent
LT Saak - Imperial Security Medal
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YOU'RE ALL LAZY!!! MWA HAA!
(More commonly referred to as "orders")
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AIRYU'S GRUDGE MATCH
Fly TC-TIE 45 before 4/17, you could win an IS-BW!
GET YOU'SELF SOME EDUMACATION
There are tons of IWATS courses you could take. Go forth and gain knowledge, my minions!!! And take the graphics exam :P
DO SOMETHING!!!
The vast majority of you were almost completely inactive this week. I don't like that. So do something!!! Fly a battle, write a fiction, make an image, just tell me what you're doing so I don't incorrectly report your activity.
STANDING ORDERS THAT REALLY AREN'T THAT STANDING, BUT RATHER IN A NON-RECLINING POSITION
-All pilots pass IWATS IIC/1 and M/1
-All FLs pass IIC/2 and M/2
-All FLs pass SM/2 with at least a 90%
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ACTIVITY
-----------------------
CMDR/CM Daisuke Airyu
-Flew IW-XWA 26, FREE-XWA 16, FREE-TIE 150
-Completed IWATS ICQ
FM/LCM Talon Drear
-None. Is he really back?
FM/MAJ Rich
-None. Demoted to FM for two consecutive weeks of inactivity.
FM/LCM Frederik Greyson Jr.
-None
FM/COL Callista
-None
FM/LCM Richlet
-Awarded PC for his graphics work last month.
-Returned from leave
FL/LCM Yutzka Serovich
-Transferred in. Welcome aboard.
FM/LT Hyuga Seithen
-None. One more week and you're AWOL, better start flying or doing something
FM/LT Saak
-Flew FREE-TIE 131, 150, TC-TIE 48, 96, 128, 138, 157, 166, 167, CAB 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, FCHG 1
-Attained Fusilier, Dragoon, Cavalier
-Awarded Imperial Security Medal
-Completed IWATS RT, TT, M/1
FM/CM Elwood the Brave
-On leave
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ROSTER
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TYPHOON SQUADRON: VIP Escort
NICKNAME: The Storm From Hell
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/typhoon.jpg
MOTTO: "We will fly the winds of DEATH!!"
MESSAGE BOARD: http://sitepowerup.com/mb/view.asp?boardid=123799
FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER
1) CM Daisuke Airyu (airyu@isdchallenge.org)
2) TBA
3) LCM Talon Drear (wouterson@wanadoo.nl)
4) MAJ Rich (captainrich@surfnetinc.com)
FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
1) TBA
2) LCM Frederik Greyson Junior (greyson@firemail.de)
3) COL Callista (callista@tiecorps.org)
4) LCM Richlet (richlet@yahoo.ca)
FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
1) LCM Yutzka Serovich (chris_bishop417@yahoo.com)
2) LT Hyuga Seithen (bof3kaiserryu@icqmail.net)
3) LT Saak (saak42@hotmail.com)
4) CM Elwood the Brave (markus.friebis@gmx.de)
Commander Airyu PIN #3552
====================================================
CMDR/CM Daisuke Airyu/Typhoon/Wing X/ISD Challenge {LGNR}
DOC/LT Daisuke Airyu/TC-BG/ISD Challenge {DOC}
Professor of IWATS Graphics (www.imperialacademy.org/graphics)
PCx2/ISMx6/LoC-PSx34/DFCx2/IS-BR/CoB/OV {IWATS-GFX-IIC/2-M/2-SM/2-TT-ICQ}
"Don't taunt the virgins." -Me, to Mai