CMDR/CPT Beef reporting for Thunder Squadron on March 09, 2001.

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FLEET NEWS (for when you're too lazy to go to tiecorps.org)
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ImperialAcademy.org FIXED FOR SOME
Those of you who use @home, BT Internet, T-Online, and AOL can actually view the site now! (You all mocked me for having AOL; who's laughing now!)

SCOA WANTED
The Science Office is looking for an assistant. Details and such can be found on tiecorps.org

CA:TAC2 WANTED
The Tactical Office is looking for an achete (probably spelled wrong). Details also found on tiecorps.org (it's very helpful, you should go there instead of making me write it all down! :P )

NEWSLETTER #72 RELEASED
Online version can be found at "www.absolutek.com/nl72/"

BATTLES CORRECTED
The TAC has fixed some bugs in some old battles. So if you couldn't fly them before, you can now.

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WING/SHIP NEWS
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WING COMMANDER'S OWN
Congrats to Typhoon Squadron for being so active this month!

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SQUADRON NEWS
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NEW! WEEKLY RIDDLE-TYPE-THING (there's a nice shiney medal at the end!)
Every week in the report, there will be a riddle/trivia question or two. Sometimes it'll be a logic exercise, and sometimes it'll be a joke. The first person to email me (not the whole squadron's mailing list) with the correct answer will get 2 points. Anyone afterwards who gets the correct answer gets 1 point. Anyone who submits a riddle/question that I decide to use in the following week will get 2 points. If you've got the most points at the end of the month, you get an Iron Star-Bronze Ribbon (lucky you!). If this works well, I'll continue it with a new winner each month.
THE RIDDLES WILL BE FOUND AT THE BOTTOM OF THE REPORTS.

THUNDER MINUS ONE
MAJ Indaro has left us for the Reserves! He's been busy in RL and his computer's in a box. He hopes to be able to return this summer. We hope so too.

Arrivals - none
Departures - MAJ Indaro Gallia --> Reserves
Awards - none

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SQUADRON STATUS
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TOP PRIORITY! MANDATORY!
ECRIII-Phase 2 starts tomorrow! Make some sort of Star Wars Pic before the 17th of March. Make stick figues at the very least! Participation is the most important thing. I was disappointed that we only had two submissions for the last phase, so I expect better this time (those of you who are here).

WING X HONOR GUARD
Fly TC-TIE 167 by March 14th. The top 12 pilots will be assigned to the Honor Guard. I've already flown this battle, so I can tell you it's one of my favorites. It's quite beefy and creative. So I suggest you fly it at least for the fun of it.
Some have been having trouble with this battle crashing. If so, be sure to tell me so that I can count your attempt as activity! Also be sure to post a bug report in the compendium.

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ACTIVITY REPORTS
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CMDR/CPT Beef
-Completed FREEXWA-022
-Completed FREEXWA-024
-Wrote fiction for ECRIII

FM/LT Stuart
-Still on leave?

FM/LT Wysseri Arestar
-Still on leave?

FL/LCM Myn Nebers
-Reported trouble flying TC-167
-Bugged the CMDR for some info he easily could’ve looked up himself! :P Seriously, I like the communication, though.

FM/LT Xanatos Antares
-Returned from leave
-Went back on leave! >:P

FL/LT Wray Muska
-On leave

FM/MAJ Indaro Gallia
-Transferred to Reserves

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ROSTER
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Thunder Squadron
Mission: Escort
Nickname: The Eyes of the Storm
Motto: The Clash of Thunder is your Death Knell

FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER
1) CPT Beef (beefment@aol.com
2) LT Stuart ( sgeers@hotmail.com )
3) LT Wysseri Arestar ( wysseri@isdchallenge.org )
4) TBA


FLIGHT II - TIE DEFENDER
1) LCM Myn Nebers ( blue1@mobynet.com )
2) LT Xanatos Antares (cal_tess@hotmail.com)
3) TBA
4) TBA


FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
1) LT Wray Muska (wraymuska@jedi.nu)
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA

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WEEKLY RIDDLE THING
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KICK-OFF BONUS QUESTION:
What's round and sticky? (trick question)

WEEKLY RIDDLE #1 (murder mystery)
The Boss is the rich owner of a giant business. He's having a big party, and he's invited three of his guest for a special reason. He takes these three into a room away from the party hall to talk privately. The four guests are: Mr. Simpson, the treasurer; Mr. Harison, the computer operator, and Mr. Gold, the sales manager. These three have been good workers and think they are about to be promoted or given raises.
Once in the private room, The Boss says, "This is the happiest day of my life. You're all fired, and two of you are off to jail!"
The three are shocked, of course, so The Boss explains, "Mr. Simpson, you've worked here for several years, blah blah blah, and you've only missed one day of work. That day was when you're mother died, and you went to the funeral. I expected you to be gone for at least a week, but you came back the very next day. But since I thought you'd be gone for awhile, I decided to do some of your work so it wouldn't be piled up we you returned. I noticed the records said when purchasing supplies from other companies, there was always a mistake on the checks and we sent too much money. But you always wrote to the companies, told them you made a typo, and got them to send you back the cash difference. But the cash never got back to my company. You've been doing this everyday since you worked here, so you're fired and off to jail!"
Mr. Simspon admitted it was all true.
The Boss continued, "Mr. Gold, everytime I have a party at my house, something always ends up missing, silverware and such. My butler says you've been stealing my stuff for years, and that he didn't say anything earily because he knew you were my friend (now that he's retired, he's decided to tell me). So you're fired and off to jail, too."
Mr. Gold admitted it.
Mr. Harison said, "I know what I did, you don't have to tell me."
But Mr. Gold and Mr. Simpson demanded The Boss reveal Harison's crime too. "I hired a detective to follow my wife over the weekend. She went to the movies with a man on Friday, to the beach with him on Saturday, and to a hotel with him on Sunday. Harison was away all weekend too. And for the past several weeks Harison's been calling my house and asking stupid questions when I answer the phone, like "When's work start again?" He's worked here for years also; he knows the answer to that. He just needed an excuse to be calling when I answered the phone instead of my wife. So he's fired too!"
Mr. Harison admitted it.
The Boss said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to call my lawyer and arrange a divorce," and left.
Now The Boss had invited his detective friend to the party. He was mingling with the non-criminal guests during this time. Eventually, he looked at his watch and realized he needed to make a call. He went downstairs to the phones. He opened the curtain and found The Boss dead with his throat cut. The phone was hanging off the hook. The detective picked it up and said hello. An 80-year-old lady named Mrs. Sears answered back. She said her phone rang, but no one answered. She'd stayed on the line because sometimes her young grandchildren call but get too shy to say anything. The detective asked some questions and found out that Mrs. Sears had never heard of The Boss. She lived at:
Apartment 9M
1323 Lincoln Place
Brooklyn, NY 11213
Phone# 427-4766
The detective knew about the three men The Boss was going to fire tonight.
Who is the killer? How did the detective know? What was the killer's motive?
(Remember: The Boss was attacked before he dailed the phone. His throat was cut so he lived for a few seconds but couldn't talk.)

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SUPPORT YOUR MISSION AUTHORS!
Post reviews for their creations in the mission compendium. Feedback helps everybody!

Respectfully Submitted,

Captain Beef
CMDR/CPT Beef/Thunder/Wing X/ISD Challenge
BS/PCx6/ISMx7/MoT-3gh/IS-1BW/CoB/OV [T/D Mad Cow] [PLDN]
{IWATS-SM/2}
}:(:) -moo

DOWN WITH McDONALD'S