Tempest Blown with the Wind #4 March 10, MMIX Loading IO.SYS... < Salute, pilots from Wing X, Wing Commander Domi , Commodore TBA (¿?) and last but not least TIE Corps Commander Jarek La'an >
Welcome to this, my fourth Weekly Report for my beloved Squadron, the mighty Tempest! The Mighty Tempest, "The Riders on the Storm". Yet another week of decent flying amounts (at least from... ONE of you... ¬¬) but not enough yet to provide us some shiny ISs at the end of the month I fear. Splendid communications, as usual. Me making fun of Dan again on my NUTS history, what else. And comps! comps! comps! comps everywhere! For you to go on shortage of silly excuses to not do stuff as fast as possible. Then there's the end of "Dempsey's Music Video Mania" with yet another rain of shinies for The Riders, another mind challenge from your deranged CMDR, EH winning last XWA WoW thanks to him (stupid humility not allowed among our ranks! :-P), Vitaru and his cork oaks... Sergeyli the LCM and his dancing performances whenever all vodka is over... could you ask for more? Easy one: NO! And if you can it's not my fault for we do not support pr0n here!
Ok, come on, come on wherever you are and meet the young LCM who fell from a star! Nahh, we wish. The guy didn't fall from a star unless you consider one of our infamous Wing X Cantina tables to be shiny enough. The thing is that our own Sergeyli, Tempest 3-2, was promoted to Lt. Commander (LCM) last week due to his good activity, mantained for months since he returned to the Fleet after having assassinated the last Executive Officer and... <LC Zós> ? What is it, Commander? Ah, it was not that? But I heard... oh, but that's not funny enough... ok, ok... And for all that stuff I was kind enough to mention above, he has been made a Lt. Commander of pilots within the TIE Corps. Therefore, the rest of you, feel free to start using his extra credits, either with or without his permission to provide yerselves reasons enough to congratulate him. Splendid work, Lt. Commander Sergeyli, splendid work. ^^ <LCM Sergeyli> Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..... Know ye all that The Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet has won the last XWA Week of War. With such incredible levels of participation (ME) and so many battles to relate (3) what could I tell you that you can't figure out already? But hell! Even if it's obvious that a single EHer (let alone if he's a TC pilot) could put the rest of SW gaming clubs to shame, I would appreciate some company there; you'd get the glory, the shinies (LoCs and DFCs, don't forget!), the true feeling of compiting with an alive being and not with...
And the lag! What about our good old-time friend the lag? Don't be expectant anymore! Take [MP/2] and [AMP] IWATS Courses TODAY and help me there to save the Galaxy from... from... errr... itself. Become an EH 1337 and feel proud of it while you turn everybody else to fancy floating confetti! ^_^ At last! At last those old MWEs from September and October '08 were processed and some overdue medals awarded. You see... we're so damned splendid that getting medals on present time is just NOT enough for us! We summon shinies from the PAST. And now is just a matter of learning the spell to invoke medals for FUTURE accomplishments. Then will come the phantom medals, the cloak-device medals, the no-way medals... all them undeserved of course, yet quite handful as good excuses for one of those crazy parties that usually end with everybody out of the airlock thanks to WC's rage. So far, that's what we got: x 2 for your weekly source of despair, aka. CMDR. x 2 for Tempest 2-2, Lt. Colonel Murleen (keeper of the only "Collie-brew" stash still available... available for himself, that is) for our Flight III Leader, Commander Vitaru (forever struggling against cork oaks playing the Paul Bunyan role) for Tempest 3-2, Lt. Commander Sergeyli (if you feel in the need of some trouble he'll provide) "Dempsey's Music Video Mania" EH-wide competition is finally over, and those of you who demonstrated your true love for glam rock, cheesy pop and other counterculture specimens have recieved what was due for your exceptional displaying of mind waste. Our most sincere condol... congrats to those Riders who participated in such an interesting event: COL Daniel Bonini, CM John T. Clark and CM Vitaru. And now, if you think I'm gonna detail below all medals that were awarded you better think twice; I'm bored after the last news entry and Section III.a) is there for something dammit! :-P The second edition of our own Tempest-only competition involving mind challenges for you to demonstrate the average speed of your neuronal synapsis, "I think therefore I lose" has just begun! Here you have the thread: http://eh.stryfe.net/viewtopic.php?f=107&t=846 ... The second edition of our own Tempest-only competition involving mind challenges for you to demonstrate the average speed of your neuronal synapsis, "I think therefore I lose" has just finished! :-P True story... Two e-mails on my inbox, both marked as having arrived at 03/10 00:00 GMT +1, both with the right answer... I mean: NOT EVEN A €~{#¬"·%{!"$ MINUTE AFTER STARTING TIME! Now I'm scared I tell you; maybe I should better request my transfer to the Phoenix while I still can since doing so from the insides of a black sack at the bottom of the Chal's garbage compactor is gonna be a little more difficult... ¬¬ Oh well... I'll make the good answer public and announce the 2 winners of this edition by e-mail as soon as I'm done with this report. -__-U
( Spoilers! Let me ask you something: do you like riding bicycles? Then you gotta play THIS game! xD And today, also some wise words CM Vitaru provided us on his Flight III report two weeks ago: "Next Friday will not be your lucky day. Darn it! Such levels of foresight are just impressive on a FL of mine for those words came attached to my Tempest CMDR official reassignment e-mail... :-P )
W0h0h0h0h0h0!!! Seems that Colonel Nav'ric Trow, our Tempest 1-4 comrade, had some ideas on his own (not wise, not wise, Colonel; please remember to spread it was your CMDR's idea when you're done or else >:P) for the creation of a new website for Tempest Squadron, capable of containing all bollocks-data already there and even adding some automatization to the equation instead loads of HTML standing crap. Stay tuned, gentlemen, for this is promising! ^_^ Yet another weekly Tempest website update, as usual. Don't forget to check the site often as one of your primary sources of useful information and bollocks of all kinds. All complaints are to be sent directly to Vice Admiral Viper Pred, Strategic Operations Officer, with the subject: "Sir, I hereby request your assistance for my new uploaded uniform to be approved. Please find it at your approvals queue where I submitted it; it's the pink one with the Paris Hilton pattern." And here, gentlemen, you have the current status of our 2 ongoing monthly competitions! Only one of you flying... none of you taking new IWATS Courses... Nice! Remind me to beat you properly with CMDR's boot® next time we meet. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!!! Do you wanna be as the rest of the Fleet activity-wise or something? ~ >.-F Tempest Pilot of the Month - March '09 LCM Dunta Polo - 30 missions (and Tempest Pilot of the Week on 03/01 - 03/08!) Tempest Student of the Month - March '09 ...not yet assigned into the Squadron though... "TAC's citation hunt"!! This is pure epic, let alone your chance of getting a nice IS-SW or even IS-GW for yerselves! Get up to 20 NEW Battle Citations for The Riders on the Storm for the silver thingie or up to 40 no less for the goldie one. You know the mechanics, gentlemen: Go HERE, find what battles are we closer to get the citation (we're 9 pilots so we're gonna need a minimum of 6 having flown any given battle) and... you know... FLY THEM!!! I'm counting on you and your commitment to Tempest Squadron for this one! :-D Right now we've a total of 0 new Battle Citations for March. Not good. You better start fixing this, and quick! >:-P
II.a) Squadron Competitions Tempest Pilot of the Month - March '09 Tempest Student of the Month - March '09 I think therefore I lose (II) II.b) Wing / Ship Competitions Wing X Pilot of the Week/Month Challenge Top Gun II.c) Emperor's Hammer / TIE Corps / TC Battlegroups Competitions Oh! Oh my good Lord!! But if I'm going to repeat some TC site info here. Please, have mercy!! :-P SP Ace of the TIE Corps, March 2009 TACcy Quotes TACcy Speed Test TAC's beta testing madness The TAC's citation hunt DJB's Inter-Club Training Event (Multiplayer!!) III.) NO!! Performances involving the infamous trio (beer-holoTV-chips) don't count for anyone but CMDR here! III.a) Transfers / Promotions / Awards / Bribes
1-1 LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles
2-2 LC Murleen
2-3 CM John T. Clark
3-1 CM Vitaru
3-2 LCM Sergeyli
III.b) General Activity and other dreams alike ( Notation: Low/Crappy Activity Moderate Activity High/Very High Activity Insane Activity/BSF hate!! )
1-1 LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles
1-2 COL Daniel Bonini
1-4 COL Nav'ric Trow
2-1 LCM Dunta Polo
2-2 LC Murleen
2-3 CM John T. Clark
3-1 CM Vitaru
3-2 LCM Sergeyli
3-3 CPT Alphafoxtrot1
IV.) Do it or DO IT. Don't even dare to try! (aka. Squadron Standing Orders)
Note on order 4: if you can't actually realize this IS NOT a RL way to go you should request transfer to the Redemption or something... ¬_¬
V.) Someone flew over the Ewok's Nest (aka. CMDR's Corner)
Seems that the mighty Tempest Squadron, The Riders on the Storm, has been bestowed today which is maybe the most higherl assignation a single Squadron can hope to get onboard the Imperial II-class Star Destroyer Challenge, something to be proud of: extended patrol duty on some unknown sector of space, long forgotten by G0d's mercy and so far from Aurora that not even the ever-lost ISDII Subjugator has ever been there... The full Squadron, 9 super-silly-overpowered craft we have learnt to love together, exit from their last hyperspace jump in what seemed the most unsuccessful search for intelligent live beings you could ever imagine (except maybe Coruscant and Zós' Secret Destillery onboard the 'Chal' itself)... until now! They're not alone in this sector! <LCM Dunta Polo> By Palpatine's sun creme! Look there, people, a Calamari Cruiser! <COL Dan> And displaying a non-Imperial IFF. H0H0H0H0! Imperial Xmas. is gonna be a little bit anticipated this year! >:D---- <CM Vitaru> But we should contact them before taking any... -unpolite- course of action I'd say. <COL Dan> Oh, come on... <CM Vitaru> What's the word, Zós? <LC Zós> Ummm... well... you see, it *SEEMS* a Calamari Cruiser from here... <COL Trow> What the?! Sir! It's a bloody MC-80, I could recognize one of those stupid flying cigars 20 clicks afar! :-P <LC Zós> We cannot be sure, Colonel. Seems a MC-80 from here, indeed, but... what if it is some sort of experimental capital ship from some unknown race featuring some unknown defensive system? Unnecessary risk and besides, we should obtain more info on this before doing something stupid. <CPT Alphafoxtrot1> No way! It's obvious we can level that thing to stardust with so much firepower on our side. Don't tell me now that I fully loaded my MIS warhead launchers for nothing! <LCM Sergeyli> Yeah... I'd suggest the classic "hello-we're-Imps-and-you're-screwed" game in a normal situation, but I somehow understand our CMDR's point of view. <CM Clark> Why you!! You're playing the "sucking-arse" game instead since you got that last promo and everybody knows! >:P <LC Murleen> Hey John, not necessary to be so rude with the Lt. Commander. What if what Zósite says comes to be true and we see ourselves involved in a suicidal approach all of a sudden? Besides, are we SURE that's a Calamari Cruiser? <LCM Dunta Polo> Now that you mention it... its hull configuration looks rare and chaotic to me... <COL Dan> BUT! BUT! It's a Calamari thing dammit! It's supposed to be rare and chaotic in its design! It comes with the model! >:_____D <LC Zós> Dan, my friend, we all know you've been high on the fumes since that A-Wing fled from your "Astra Fighter" in the heat of the battle 4 days ago. Calm down. <COL Dan> You had to mention it. Your wickedness really knows no limits, Zós... :____{ <CM Vitaru> So, what about requesting them to identify themselves? <LC Zós> Not so quickly, Commander! Maybe that is exactly what they want so they can allocate our channel to interfere it. <COL Trow> And what would be the point of doing so? There's the... errr... "Cruiser wannabe". Here are we... not many more things out there to fool us with. <LC Zós> That's what they want you to think, Colonel! Such calm is not normal in the surroundings of a Cruiser (if it's a Cruiser). Where's its fighters defense screen? <CM Clark> Defense screen? To defense themselves from what? We've just hypered in and they weren't in the middle of a skirmish before so... <LC Zós> YOU say they weren't! Who knows? Up to 4 or 5 full Squadrons of unknown starfighters could be waiting for us on their Hangar and ready to launch. Let alone their unkown alien technology. <CPT Alphafoxtrot1> But if they're Calamari! And everybody knows those squids are all rebel biased. <LC Zós> They don't necessary have to be Calamari since we cannot even be sure if that ship is a MC-80. Rebels you say! That renders everything worse, for this could perfectly be yet another of those ambushes those cowards like to provide us every now and then. <CM Vitaru> So we cannot be sure if they are Rebels I take... <LC Zós> Exactly! Only one thing's for sure: they want us to think they're Rebels and therefore they're using something resembling a MC-80 to fool us into that way of thinking. Then again, we cannot be sure if the ship was abandoned already for some reason. What's what our sensors read? <LC Murleen> Well, according to this information the ship is fairly populated right now and... <LC Zós> Splendid! Now they've just interfered our sensors for we to think what they want us to think. Things are going worse and worse as we talk. <LCM Sergeyli> Maybe it would be better if we just... <CM Vitaru> Yeah, it would be the best choice in order to prevent... <CM Clark> And look those engines; my money is in they have just realized we could be wise enough to leave the place and are coming for us... :___| <COL Trow> Spooky, that's not like those coward Calamaris... <CPT Alphafoxtrot1> No problem, we're still in time and my flight computer has just finished processing the return coordinates. <LC Zós> Ok, gentlemen, jump on my mark! <COL Dan> I... I cannot... <LC Zós> 3... <COL Dan> ...believe... <LC Zós> 2... <COL Dan> ...impossible... <LC Zós> 1... <COL Dan> ...unbehaving... UNBEHAVING I TELL YOU!! <LC Zós> 0... Let's go!!! ^_^ The full Squadron except COL Dan's TIE Defender, the "Astra Fighter", hyper out. About a minute later, and yelling things that could put an Inquisitor to shame and a JAG to tremble, Tempest 1-2 jumps as well. Meanwhile, at the bridge of CRS "Joyful Meadow"... <COL Wedge XXVII> Oh, Jesus... I just thought we were all fried, Sir... <AD Nemo> Tell that to me... and thinking that almost all our fighters were obliterated a week ago... why those madmen and their 3 T/Ds, 3 T/As and... hell! and 3 MISs decided to go away instead melting this ship into some floating saucepan of sorts goes beyond me... 0__ou A couple of days after, back onboard the Challenge...
<COL Domi> 0____+U... ZÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓÓS!!!!!!!!!! VI. Anyone get the number of that donkey cart??? (aka. FCHG and Combat Ratings) (Combat Ratings not yet implemented into the new database so it's not that they might be wrong. They WILL BE wrong.) Templar [TMPR] (5000 points) & Jedi 4th (500 points) [5957] & [509] LC Zósite Kónstyte Styles Centurion [CNTR] (2000 points) & Officer 4th (30 points) [2029] & [39] COL Daniel Bonini Aquilifer [AQFR] (500 points) & No rank (0 points) [688] & [0] CPT Alphafoxtrot1 Paladin [PLDN] (300 points) & Trainee (1 point) [348] & [1] COL Nav'ric Trow Knight [KNGT] (250 points) & No rank (0 points) [255] & [0] LC Murleen Cavalier [CAVL] (150 points) & Trainee (1 point) [172] & [0] LCM Sergeyli Dragoon [DRAG] (100 points) & No rank (0 points) [145] & [0] LCM Dunta Polo Fusilier [FUSL] (75 points) & Officer 4th (30 points) [98] & [32] CM Vitaru VII.) Operation [R]ound and Pound (aka. Squadron Roster & Citations) W-What?! You want me to paste here the Squadron Roster? Why?! You have it in the TC site... But! But!... TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep Strike FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER What? NO?!! (*sigh*) Ok... Ok... I got it...
TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep Strike FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED FLIGHT III - MISSILE BOAT MK.I Squadron Citations: (further details will only come after actual battles are detailed on Squadron Roster at TC database, sorry) Respectfully NUTS in service: --- Zósite Kónstyte Styles, Lord of Moonlightshadow --- CMDR-COOA-TCS-PROF/LC Zosite Konstyte Styles/Tempest/Wing X/ISDII Challenge "There's good. And there's evil. And it's the Order what make us capable of differentiate between them. So, don't bother me judging my actions; if they're good or evil. I'm above both. I serve that ORDER."
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