SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 6-11-03

COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- Sovereign Squadron League round 7 is in progress. Deadline: June 20. Assignments are XvT-FREE 118, TIE-FREE 221 and XWA-FREE 102. Note: This is the next-to-last round of the regular season. If your squadron hopes to qualify for the playoffs, it must finish in the top eight in one of the divisions!

-- Operation Outrageous Fortune is over, and here are the results from WO/AD Pel:

Team Blue Falcon (TFA Freelancer) 33,604
Team Red Dragon (TFA Jon Doyle) 32,726

Here's the word from the WO:
"I didn't count blockaded planets scores for EITHER side...and I didn't count in the last battle (since there were no actual results). Final tally Jon's Red Team 32726 and Free's Blue Team 33604. That's right, less than 1000 points between the teams.....but Free's team had the slight edge ..."

The competition was ended this way for two reasons: Both teams had struggled along with the WO to get together to complete the XWA skirmishes in the most recent engagements. Plus, in the WO's expert opinion, the sides were so evenly matched that the game if continued would have gone on for a long time without a clear result. So, Blue ekes out a win in the abbreviated game.

I salute all who participated in this creative Sovereign wargame. It was a lot of fun and we learned more about wargaming, and it helps the ship prepare for the upcoming Imperial Storm IV.

-- Rat Pack vs. Wing IV CMDRs. I'm declaring Wing IV's CMDRs the winner by default because the Rat Pack coordinator responsible*cough*could not produce the Rats' results after lengthy delays.

-- Rat Pack vs. Wing V CMDRs. This is coming up soon. MAJ Taralis and the CMDRs will determine the time frame and select the TIE free mission to be flown. After V, we will need to reschedule with Wing III. Oh, yes, the Rat Pack Web page is back -- I am updating it this week:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/ratpack/rat-splash.htm

-- LC Mike has launched a comp in Wing I, in his words:
"Ok, guys. I'm announcing a new competition for this month, entitled Steal
the Booze Now!
The object is simple, come up with the most ingenius way to steal the
booze away from our beloved COM, AD Proton. Submissions can take any
form: fiction, run-on, TIE battle, JK level, crazy Incredible Machine(for
those that remember the game) contraption, even a map layout with your
plan for execution. Let your mind run wild here, guys! Steal the Booze
Now! The competition will run from now until the end of the month."

-- Wing II's "Tempest's Imperial Battlechess" event is under way. See the details here: http://tib.minos.net.

-- Rumblings of big changes from FO/HA Priyum:
"Recently I submitted a number of changes to the Fleet Commander and Executive Officer for implementation in the TIE Corps. Once these are in place, they should bring an interesting facet to the TIE Corps, and help stream line certain aspects, in particular our training system. With any luck this won't take long, and I can reveal all."

-- LC Freelancer has dusted off his "Colon Wars" battle. Omega is flying it for fun. Will Free fix the couple of ridiculously minor bugs and send it in to the TAC, for the good of The Lore of the Colon and the benefit of the Sovereign? My beautiful assistant Ballista is taking bets in the COM's casino!

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/LT Shivor Dahr/Alpha 1-2
FL/LCM Mayk Drazzic/Kaph 2-1
FM/LCM Armagon/Cheth 2-2

SSSD Sovereign [161]

Wing I [30]
Wing II [33]
Wing III [31]
Wing IV [44]
Wing V [22]

Omega [10]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Sovereign Ace Multiplayer Competition, Each Tuesday at 13:30 - 17:00 EST.
-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in
#ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time.
-- Sovereign Squadron League, round 7 under way. Pilots, fly free missions TIE-Free 221, XvT-Free 118, and XWA-Free 102 and send the pilot file(s) to your CMDR by June 20.

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://boards.minos.net
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

COMBAT DEBRIEFING OF THE WEEK

"The shuttle which has a payload of "Beer" has to complete its mission.
I like the way the author of this mission thinks ;-) " -GN Sasquatch

CANTINA COMMENTS

"nah...drinks are on the FC tonight...enjoy ! (but be ready for long range patrol duty at 06:00 ! ) " -GA Ronin

"Wolvie is back from leave guys, so no more spice smuggling...." -CPT Evo Sarnok

"Omega has many, many liquor sources. We draw from the FC's accounts, and
occasionally we draw from the SovCOM's accounts. I think we still have our
own distillery operating somewhere on Aurora. And if that's not enough, we
can always go hijack some Rebel booze shipments!" -GN Sasquatch

"Yup, thats where I come in! Bwhahahahahaha Do you think the Recon Office *just* looks for new territory to conq..errmmmm colonize?? Hell no! We're always on the look out for the best liqour shipments in the Galaxy!!!" -AD Joe

"Almost, but not quite. In addition to the Omegan pay scale (which we don't talk about in front of the other pilots - we DO protect the GA himself), there is also a "Fluid Sustenance Allowance" in our contracts. Most of us use this sizable allowance to drink until our livers fall out. But rumor has it that ONE guy actually uses it for milk..." -GN Compton

"Yeah, we'll have to get rid of that colon. But don't worry Artyis, you will never miss it anyway!" -GN Sasquatch

"Artyis, you will need to know that Ras is our resident milk drinker.
We've tried to bring him over to the 'booze side', but he keeps resisting.
Come on Ras! Let go of your calcium and essential nutrients! I can FEEL
the alcohol within you, it hasn't abandoned you completely! ;-) " -GN Sasquatch

"Welcome to Omega Artys! Grab yourself a chair in the cantina and prepare to start dissolving your colon! ;) Just a friendly word of advice tho; Stay away from that....that..... milk thingy Ras drinks. I tried it and believe me, it's even worse than water!!! ;) " -MAJ Manijak

"Careful Ras, careful.... We are an elite squadron and as such are always
under spotlights. What one of us does, it affects us all, and, I gotta tell
you buddy, your milky excesses are gonna put a bad name on the squadron! ;)
Filling a bathtub with beer OTOH, now THAT's true Omega spirit! ;)" -MAJ Manijak

"Yeah, Grue agrees, goats milk, sheep milk, cow, bear, marmoset, platypus, human milk, whatever, ... all nasty stuff!
Human milk "containers" aren't bad, however!" -The gruesome one! (CPT Night Grue

"/me preforms his ritual spraying of cat urine randomly around the cantina in order to increase the future luck of his QOTW attempts... /me looks around? What? It worked in Wing I... ;P" -MAJ Argon "still getting hunted by socktroopers" Viper

"hunted or haunted, surely your previous crossings with the sock troopers have left you mentally scared and crying at night waking up in hot sweats.... urmm, no mum that wasn't me talking about the scorpions *cough* " -COL Jon

"Err, Sesame Street was started in 1969, just a few months before I was born. Lord Proton, you might wanna pass that on to this guy.
Yeesh, what ARE they teaching kids these days?" -GN Compton

"I read this email, and for some strange reason, I envisioned the Cookie Monster piloting a TIE Fighter ... blowing up rebels while screaming "Coooooookie!!!"
And I think the Count could be at a viewport, pointing and saying, "One! One dead Rebel! Two! Two dead Rebels! Ah ha ha ha!"
Holy crap! Maybe I need to switch to milk! ;-) " -GN Sasquatch

" ... randomly spouting the physics of any situation you can name, coming up with sexual inuendos from both Calculus and Physics ("I'd like to find HER dynamic coefficient of friction" "My position on her was defined by the absolute value of the sin function"(take a wild guess as to what that might be...)), ... " -MAJ Argon Viper

"I beg your pardon, Sir, I'm not sure if I hear correcly... Milk?! And he's
absorbing it freely?! And what about all the wonderful traditions of this
organization?! What about week-long, liver-devastating "debriefings"?! What
about using Hammer's armaments (bunny pajamas, among others) for private
raids on booze convoys?! Doesn't he realize it's what Empire's based on?!...
;)" -MAJ Artyis

"1969...?!? Oh my... Do humans live *that* long...?!? ;)
/Tod was born in 1978 and feels old... ;)" -LC Todbringer

"Bah! I remember when I was in Rho. We got beat up all the time.
Wait...no...that was we BEAT everyone, that's right. The only beating we
took was the colons..." -LC Mike "Colon still MIA" Chistu

"What are 'socktroopers' anyway? Stormies who run around with no shoes on?" -COL Inkwolf

"socktroopers are stormtroopers specialized in chemical and/or biological warfare....." -MAJ Carl Lost

"Actually, they're LC Freelancer's old socks, mutated beyond the imagination (or any literal possibility) in the fetid corridors of the Lambda Squadron barracks. Mike used to be Lambda Commander, so he took them as his shocktroops when he became WC ;P Lambda Squadron, the only place where the water will wrestle you two out of three and the toilets spit things back at you ;) " -MAJ Argon Viper

"Grue has to say this again!
You guys are "udderly" ridiculous.
Sexist? Food doesn't have gender!
How can talking about food be sexist?
You Omegans have had your brains in the waste tanks far too long.
:: big grin showing all fangs this time :: " -CPT Night Grue, the quiet one

"It's always the quiet ones...with...the big...teeth :P " -MAJ Brandon

"All this filthy dairy talk is muddling and corrupting my brain." -MAJ Brandon

"That is how it starts, innocent talk about going over to the cantina to celebrate the grand accomplishments of our fellow brave imperial pilots ...
and in no time it degenerates into "filthy dairy talk," oh the shame of it!" -CPT Night Grue

"Who brought this scourge of Mil%, this pox, upon the noble members of Omega?" -CPT Night Grue

"But really.. There's no such thing as bad publicity...
Soon you'll all start to wonder if there might be
something to what I'm saying.. First you'll begin
adding milk to your booze.. then you'll add booze to
your milk.. and then you'll probably go back to
drinking booze...
oh well..
*fills another mug of milk* " -CM Ras Kronar

"Bleh, Socktroopers are nothing, it's when those funny little midgets from
Wing I come over and start spraying things, THEN you need to be worried...." -CPT Psyko

"See? The high milk content is affecting our judgement! We need the
safety of alcohol!" -GN Sasquatch

"Ah, the good ole days, being the outcast with all the old farts of Rho squadron." -LC Mike Chistu

"Woah, happy birthday then!
Here's my present ...
*A droid enters the room bringing a cow*
... So you can have your fresh milk every morning and ... your wrist strenghtened for hours
of flying ;D !" -LC Ixion Deathbringer

"Holy crap! A cow?!? You mean, a real one...? Here, on the Sov? How are we
going to feed it? Can you stroke it? Won't it bite? And what about all this
"mooing" noises when Ras tries to get milk out of it...? ;) " -LC Todbringer

"Oooo a cow! Thanks! And grass!
*hopes it's the chocolate milk kind*
I know just where to put it!
*clears out the Omega/2-4 quarters and installs the grass+cow* " -CM Ras Kronar

"Now just sit back and watch, as Ras tries to mil% a bull delivered by mistake ... or was it?" -CPT Night Grue

"I'm in Zekkie's quarters atm....no don't think like that, you silly folk." -GN Stele Pellaeon

"/me wipes off with cat urine stained hanky that's always with him
My sister has cats...my best friends right now have 3 grown cats and 12
kittens, cat urine does not scare me anymore, Argon :P " -CPT Psyko that smells funny

" /me stands downwind from Psyko and goes on with spraying other people... Man, even I think that's sick ;P " -MAJ Argon Viper

"I'd watch it with all that cat urine, bob might thing you're a competitor and go after you..... now you don't want to see a 3 tailed gun slinging leopard when he's angry. Sock troopers..... that's nothing :P" -COL Jon

"/me loosens Bob's leash a bit
Hmmm....
/me holds a stolen piece of Argon's clothes up to Bob's nose
Smells good, don't he boy.....
/me holds his knife to the leash, contemplating" -CPT Psyko

"me watches bob sniff the clothes and then go for Psykos ankles shredding his
trousers (pants for all your yanks) instantly.
Psyko don't play with bob, cats are temperamental at best.... now big cats
like bob have to be worse" -COL Jon

"Boy that hurts...'specially since I don't wear pants (trousers for all you
limeys out there)....
I CAN'T FIND MY FEEEEEET!!!!!!
*crawls with suprising speed towards the nearest med station*
...stooopid ca...*passes out from blood loss* " -CPT Psyko the Unconcious

"Grue, I think they meant "edit" like... "Grue edited a Rebel from a complete corpse down to some toothpick-sized bones" or something. I KNOW they're not suggesting that the pilots of Omega act like gentlebeingsjust because there's a woman around." -GN Compton

" /me chops off the arms of the guy next to him and puts
up 4 arms. :P " -MAJ Nurel Turr

"ouch that hurts turr. I hope you plan on giving them back when you are done
with them. They are kinda usefull you know. If you think I fly bad now,
imagine me without my arms.
"I can't reach the de-celerator button with my nose can someone help me?" -CPT Hello

"Of course not! ;)
/me slips a new formula brain pill into Wolvie's drink" -CM HicRic

"I wonder what does that pill do with my brain? heh" -LC Mayk Wolverine

"Ahh, it's supposed to delay the onset of insanity that happens to all WC in wing IV. Dealing with the combined pilots of wing IV sends 'em all totally mad. :P
Wait, didn't anyone tell you when you signed up? :P " -CM HicRic

"Well they actually gave me something when I joined the wing a pill
some sort, but they told me it was just a cough pill :p" -MAJ Mayk Wolverine

"There's always an open slot, Mike (no this is not a recruit letter)
**waves his hand at Mike like a Jedi would.....deep in thought...**" -GN Stele rho Pellaeon (subliminal messege not a recruit)

"Compy and I still have our keys to the Admiral's lounge and I kept a
spare key for the Inquisitor liquor warehouse... Omega's cantina is well
stocked. Always." -GN Devin

"...We're in heaven, then ;D " -MAJ Artyis

"Not to mention my little convoy rai....ermmm "Liberations" I do every week or two. It's not my fault the orders get screwed up on where the shipments of liqour go! Nor is it my fault that they end up for Omega Squadron... its just one of those things. :P" -AD Joe

"... Not sure who performed this song originally, but I have a great
funkified live version of it and it's nice to dance to (again, in a
super-macho-non-homo-Ewok-loving-Bretlike manner :p)" -COL Ricardo

"Your argument is flawed Artyris! It is the ruling of
this court that you be condemned to a lifetime of milk
drinking!" -CM Ras Kronar

"One day, when by some most unfortunate accident someone makes me a WC, you
will have a lot to report in your reports... ;) Hahahaha (diabolic
laughter)! ;) " -LC Tod the Flyer

"Heh, flying a a free mission is very difficult task. Only
professionalists and very talented ppl can handle flying one mission
per month...I thought you've already known about this fact, sheeeshh!" -LC Mayk Wolverine

" ... Brought to you by Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew : Who Needs Kidneys?" -GN sasquatch

"The original first Diablo. The one with three hero classes (Warrior,
Rogue and Sorcerer), and with the Butcher, Leoric and Lazarus. :)
Aaaaah. Fresh meat." -MAJ Tempest

"Holy crap, Proton apologizes for being too cruel, and all he did was
write a fake Rat Pack report! But torturing people with Team LSD, and
"assigning" Ballista to "crowd control" ... that's the sort of thing we'll
NEVER get an apology for! ;-) " -GN Sasquatch

"You got that right, Omega One.
**Proton nods, and Dude whacks Sasquatch across the back of the head with
a Tusken piercing weapon** " -AD "Inconsistent" Proton

"Yeah baby ... only on board the Sov can you be abused by a psychotic
Tusken!
Hmmmm ... we should start using that phrase when we recruit." -GN Sasquatch

KEY REACTIONS TO TURR'S 'BABE OF THE WEEK' REPORT

"Damn I just forgot what I was doing....." -FA Cyric

"Haaa-RUMBA!!!" -AD Proton

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COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
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