COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.
SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES
-- The Sovereign Squadron League winners have been crowned. Salute to Omega and Diamondback squadrons for their victories! Advance congratulations to all medal winners as well, and my thanks to all participants. I will be recommending all the medals soon, and there might be more Ops-vacancy delay after that. I appreciate your patience. Finally, thanks yet again to the great judges who coordinated the events: LCs Todbringer and Gidda and MAJ Artyis. Full results of the smashingly successful SSL 2003 can be seen at the Sov Web site, War Room page:
http://sov.minos.net
-- The Sovereign Cup is coming! The fanatical men who brought you SSL 2003 will be back with a vengeance before you know it! This will be a TIE-based individual competition starting probably in September. It will be limited to 32 pilots, using an elimination format to determine the winners over several rounds. Stay tuned for details from LC Todbringer. If that isn't enough action for you, it appears we will be starting SSL 2004 in January! Keep your lasers hot for all this flying.
-- The Sovereign Summer Caption Contest medals have been recommended, although they have not been addressed because of the Ops vacancy. Ditto for the ship's Commendation of Loyalty nominations made a couple of weeke ago.
-- GN Stele Pellaeon's General's Summer Patrol has concluded, another great success in comps! Twenty-three pilots survived the patrol and earned the Iron Star-Gold Wings. Great job by Stele and Dweezil on this comp! Details at:
http://users.pandora.be/dweezil/patrol/
-- Imperial Storm IV is scheduled to begin in early September.
-- http://www.emperorshammer.ca/comps_apostasy.html, Graphics and fiction comp, the awards are IS-PR.
-- New Logistics Office site:
http://lo.cosmicholonet.org/
-- New Tactical Office site:
http://www.emperorshammer.net/tac/newpage/
-- For a rodeo laugh, see this movie:
http://home.comcast.net/~ex_gallows/Stierkampf.wmv
PLANETARY OPERATIONS
-- Spent most of the week earning Imperial faction points, which are hard to earn in great quantities. Then I blew 700 of them on an "Imperial table." Of course I expected it to have the Imperial seal on it, which would help spruce up Gallows Cabin. But it's just a metal table, nothing fancy. I guess I will keep it, if nothing else, to be able to say, yeah, my house is of the Empire ...
FORCE STRENGTH
-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/SL Kalista Payne/Sadhe 1-3
FM/SL Jer/Epsilon 2-2
FM/SL Kaiser/Alpha 2-3
FM/SL Abhay Alok/Alpha 1-3
FM/SL Saatrah Thorgrim/Cheth 3-3
SSSD Sovereign [152]
Wing I [29]
Wing II [32]
Wing III [27]
Wing IV [42]
Wing V [21]
Omega [10]
SHIP COMPETITIONS
-- Interlude
SHIP COMMUNICATIONS
IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://boards.minos.net
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html
TRASH TALK OF THE WEEK
"This Sov report was brought to you, apparently, by everybody in Wing I >:P " tAke that, Wings II, III, IV and V :P " -LC "Gonna take heat for that" Freelancer
COMBAT DEBRIEFING OF THE WEEK
"Then I figure "hey, I've got unlimited warheads, I'll just blow everything up with those." Yesh, that works for about five ****ing seconds, until I make my first turn, which happens at about as fast as a constipated tortoise pushing a log out his ass, and I get lit up like the ***********ing Las Vegas strip." -GN Compton
"I've also seen fighters fly backwards and shoot lasers out of their arses with that patch installed." -GN Sasquatch
"Pfffffft ... see, this is the problem with patches. Why do people even
make missions that require patches? There are about 50 different ships that
you can fly in XWA without the need of any patches; but some joker just HAD
to have us fly a blastboat ..." -GN Sasquatch
COMMAND EXCUSE OF THE WEEK
"*coughs*
Meant to do my report last night, gonna do it by the end of today....drank
too much Tuaca last night, sorry." -CPT Psyko
CANTINA COMMENTS
"Hah! We've found a safe zone! Ballista can't hurt us for very long if we stay in the HGBs! ;P " -MAJ Argon
"Leroy, Snippy and Dude, on the other hand, have no such queasiness >;) " -AD Proton
"SQUADRON ACTIVITY:
Turry:
Nuthin’, dumb yank bastard fly!" -LC Nurel Turr
"Oh and forget what I said before about not having the authority to destroy torture tools of our direct COs, the important reason not to do it is because you'll just piss him off ;) " -LC Freelancer
"Sorry, that's all been done before (really, it has. Sirik tried that when he was new here...), the HGBs seem to be invulnerable... ;P " -MAJ Argon
"Who was it that fire-bombed the HGB in an attempt to destroy them? Ahh... good times... Watching LSD and B chase him down, that is." -LC Freelancer
"We all know Stele is highly insane." -LC Freelancer
"Argon, think about what you're saying...
We'd have to Stay... In... The... HGB... All the time!
Oh, wait, HAHAHAH! We're slightly immune!!! HAHAHAHA --- *SPLORT*
Okay, note to self, check Proton's HGB guano restock schedule and vacate during that time." -LC Freelancer
"Proton, might I suggest the good old Sov Waste Pipe Inspection Duty to teach the LT a lesson, perhaps? >:D " -LC "Been there, done that" Freelancer
"So hopefully by the time I can afford a system that's good enough to run SWG
there'll have been a player mutiny, an Imperial revolution, and the first
thing I'll see when I land on Bestine is the developers heads on spikes (a
la Doom)....and all will be good in the SWG Universe...
Make it so Sas....make it so" -LC Brandon
""BEWARE THE HGB, my son! With the claws that stink and the teeth that
stink!" -LC "Poem stealer" Freelancer
"Yes, but I deal with them better than a dominatrix ;P " -MAJ Argon
"Hehehe. "We need men." "How long have you been stationed there?" "No, like we need troops..." ;P " -MAJ Argon
"::Drools his thanks::
holy crap.. hmmmm i have the Non-EH Site of the week.. maybe I can have a Non-EH Babe of the week too.. ::ponders;:" -AD Joe
"Wow... I've never seen anything so purely evil... Proton, you have outdone yourself this time ;) " -MAJ Argon
"Random Equation Time!
Hutt Guano + Goop from LAMBDA barracks+ Argon and Free's socks= A substance so evil It exceeds all previous evils." -LT Colin Graves
"Yet again I feel I must point out a flaw in your math, my good man. LAMDA goop is incompatible with all other substances, living or non. It cannot mix. Much like oil and water, the separate evils would only mingle together and not really reach a new level of evil-ness." -LC Freelancer
"Heck, if the ENTIRE scorpion shock troop brigade couldn't get to me, even AFTER I gave them all that fancy hi-tech equipment, back in the Rho barracks, there's no way your puny battle droids will hold up to the corrosive effects the LAMBDA barracks have on all machinery within their borders." -LC Freelancer
"Can pure evil ever really out-do itself? Seeing as Proton does pure evil things, he must therefore be purely evil himself. Can one who is pure evil ever refine themselves to a "pure-er" evil?? I don't believe so, no. Thus I don't think Proton has "out-done" himself, as this is par for the course, but DAAAYUM! That thar's imaginative punishment!!!" -LC "I'll be good!" Freelancer
"Yeah, Ballista would be Proton's dominatrix-like "assistant". I won't go into any more detail because it makes me shudder to think of it..." -MAJ Argon
"Those are some fine headlights there =) " -GN Stele Pellaeon
"Command&Conquer prof. Einstein (with strange accent): INCREDIBLE!" -LC Mayk Wolverine
"yeah ok so frogs both the amphibians and garlic munchers :P) n butterflies need killing to, unfortunately we all know what you like to do with the bunny corpses, something to do with teh fluffy white tail ain't it :P " -COL Reaper
"Ya talkin' to me, I say Do Ya talkin' to ME? ;)))) " -LC Mayk Wolverine
"Uhh. Who let the WC out of his pen? Honestly, people. Standards are slipping
round here...." -LC Minkus
"and he appears to be in movie quote mode, very sad indeed" -Reaps
"Ballista is not the biggest of your worries. LT Arlins has LEE, his Loyalty Enforcement Ewok. It's on medication but tends to forget to take it, and when that happens, bad things tend to occur. I think it's a female...can't and don't want to know for sure." -LCM Kahooli
"Heck, everyone knows I'd never start a tradition of *paying* for booze, let alone booze for another man!" -LC Freelancer
"But if you want truly evil I can have Crusher the Hutt sit on you while I take my socks off and hold my feet in front of your immobilized face. I think that would be classified under the "evil" category :P " -LC Freelancer
"Hey, Gyssler! He's out cold and injected himself with amnesia! Now's your chance to steal his coffee!" -LC Freelancer
"/me steals the coffee and orders some kahlua from the bartender." -CM Gyssler
"Heh, I know the feeling.. can you imagine driving by an seeing a police officer playing with his joystick for an XWA dealine?.... wait.. that sounded... nevermind.. ¬.¬ " -AD Joe
"Yeah, I hate when someone buys up all the utilities... /me shakes his fist in futility at Proton ;P " -MAJ Argon
"I am forever your servant." -LC Mike CHistu
"Servant huh? >>>>:) Bring me a cup of tea, clean the apartment, do shopping, order drinks, pay for them... Faster, Faster you lazy butler! What am I paying you for? :)))))))))))))))))) " -LC Mayk Wolverine
"too bad he didnt use word "slave" - that would solve the payment problem ;) " -LC Thorn
" /me imagines Free in a plaid disco suit... *shudder* ;P " -MAJ Argon
"Damn, C ... George Carlin would be proud if he could read that rant ;-) " -GN Sasquatch
"Whoa.... I WONDERED why I got Baltic Ave when I was WC of Wing XIV!" -LC Freelancer
"/me wakes up in a pile of ******** (use your imaginations :P)
”Hey CMDR, got any work for me? Wait what am I saying, got any booze from the PPB for me?” -CM Gyssler
"Yes, such as, what idiot made you a WC...? ;P " -MAJ Argon
"I just use my Maglite.. and why use that when I can pistol whip 'em? much more fun.. >:P " -AD Joe
"Popcicles will be provided as an additonal refreshment/ they sure are refreshing." -LCM Kahooli
"what about booze-cicle? I've been trying to perfect it, but it just WON'T FREEZE right!" -LC Freelancer
and you pop the question
woman that hits me
"But we don't want our tongues to stick to them, we want to be able to
eat them!
We'd have our tongues stuck or frozen and the whole wing would be
talking with a speech impediment." -EF EL/EL FLEE Fleelanthler/LAMBTHA 3-1
"(*Freelancer sneaks into the PPB, sees that it is empty, and places
incriminating evidence that links the theft to Gyssler*)
What? Why are you looking at ME like that? The man needs exercise!
(*Sees Gyssler running past with Leroy in pursuit*)
See?? He'll thank me for this later." -LC "Good Samaritan" Freelancer
"I've also had to try to deal with a cataract that had gotten worse in my left eye. I tell you, it's amazing how Omega Squadron performs the way they do, being old and having to deal with that kinda crap! :P " -LC Josh
""It's a hundred and six klicks to the Rebel fleet, I've got a full load of
warheads, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and I'm wearing sunglasses.
Hit it!" /paraphrasing Blues Brothers" -LC Josh
"Argon. I'm somewhat upset at Colin's destruction of stolen PPB booze. In fact, now that I consider it rationally and logically, I'm very much angered about this act of his. I believe we should have an emergency meeting of the "Usual Suspects" as soon as possible to discuss the ramifications of this and our response to the vile act.
Translation? "Frreeee... MAD...!!!!" -LC "Proton's Usual Suspect #1" Freelancer
"Yeah, that sounds good to me, I vote castration. /me holds his rusty "operating" spoon from his days as the Wing VI doc *evil grin*" -MAJ Argon
"*As a last desperate attempt to save my balls, I pull out a datapad showing there are 8 booze freighters incoming to the Sov, completely unarmed/escorted.*" -LT Colin Graves
"I say we tie him up and allow everyone of Proton’s lackeys do their worse to him.
I can only imagine what type of delusional types of punishments they can think of. I mean look at what Proton comes up with :P " -CM Gyssler
"Hey, Dude, for 5 credits I'll tell you which way Argon went :P " -LC Freelancer
"*cough* *wheeze*
He *cough* didn't like the offer... *urk*
He took turns with Ballista *gurgle* beating the ever-living Force-crap out of me. *cough*
So *wheeze* stuff it *wheeze* (heh heh *wheeze* heh)" -LC "coughhackwheeze" Freelancer
"What's a posion?" -MAJ Zekk Terrik
"FOR SITHSPIT'S SAKE DON'T GO NEAR THE OMEGA BARRACKS ANYTIME SOON!
Sasquatch's gonna be bragging for a looooooong time to come over this
one.
Oi vey! Of all the braggarts to win! :P (Whether they deserved it or
not is not the point -- they did! -- it's that they're never going to
let us live it down!) " -LC Freelancer
"Yeah, whatever happened to Omega being the place where old pilots went to die? I demand that something be done to rectify this state of affairs! ;P " -MAJ Argon
"Don't bother having a meeting. You're *all* doomed >:)
"Team LSD, lock and load!" -AD Proton
"Free: Meeting open. Motion to run and scream.
Argon: Second
Gyssler: Third
Free: Motion on the table. Motion opened. Motion closed. All in favor? All opposed. Motion passed, meeting adjourned
RUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN " -LC Freelancer
"This may be off subject, but..is weed theraputic for your gut?" -CPT Psyko
"Erm... Boss? Walking may be a problem alone, considering the amount of
alcohol/milk we're supposed to drink to celebrate *double* victory... ;) Not
to mention keeping heads higher and back straighter. Impossible, at last for
the next two weeks, no way... ;) " -LC Todbringer
"I would never compare either of you to an ewok or a gungan. and the disturbing mental image of the pair of you in hula skirts dancing will keep me awake with night terrors for many a week." -LT Arlins
"You and me both! Grass skirts give me a rash!" -LC "Pants... What pants?" Freelancer
"Here's to Omega, chaps, and also to the soon-to-be-striking cleaning droids on the Sov!" -LC Brandon
"I believe the words that sum up my feelings are ... Cor Blimey!" -LC Brandon
"And the pickles are the major cause of plane crashes. Almost 99% of pilots
at least one time in their life ate pickles." -LCM Granite
"Whoa, holy sportsbra, Proton was on that list! I'm, I'm, shocked! The
old coot can still fly!!" -LC Freelancer
"Yes he can fly...but I was beginning to get aggravated. Every time a
rebel fighter got within two clicks he would radio for help. He did
okay for a desk pilot though." -LCM Kahooli
"Hehehe, you mean they actually dragged him out from behind his desk? I was beginning to think he didn't even own a fighter. Although, for the amount of work he had to do through all those reinforcements, he may as well not ;P " -MAJ Argon "has no such fea... oh crap, run for it!" Viper
"Pfffft ... c'mon Ras, for an occasion as big as this one, I think it's
time you graduated to alky-hol ..." -GN Sasquatch
"Cheers CMDR Mom-squatch!" -LC Brandon
"OH MY.
Guess this means Devin and I will be opening up the Lake o' Beer for one big-ass party." -GN Compton
"I have grown accustomed to the old timers being at my six as I engage rebels and they sit idle in space trying to remember where the throttle contol is and hoping they have enough room in their Depends for another deposit. But we do commend you on an active patrol." -LCM Kahooli
"Grab a bottle of booze/bloody rebels/milk of your choice and raise a toast to Fleet Commander's Bad Boyz!" -Manijak
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COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
IC/SSx4/BS/PC/ISMx2/IS-1BW-1SW/CoL/OV-3E [CNTR] {IWATS-FLA-RT-SM/2-TM}