COM/AD Proton reporting for the Emperor's Hammer flagship, the SSSD Sovereign, on 11-20-03:

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- Beer Cup scores tallied so far: 14. That's 14 out of a potential 299 (if every pilot flew all three battles). I have seen some chatter about TIE TC 211 on the wing lists, so I know there is a flood of tfrs coming ... right? Reminder, the deadline for the Beer Cup against the Intrepid and Vanguard is Nov. 30. Fly TIE TC 211, XvT TC 75 and-or XWA TC 24 and send your pilot files to me at hullbreach@warpmail.net.

-- Latest Killboard entry: It's Delta vs. Avenger in an XWA fight.

-- A squadron commander from another ship just tried to illegally recruit a Wing III pilot. I have requested that the Flight Office prosecute the offending illegal recruiter. This should be a sobering reminder to all: Adhere to the recruiting restrictions. Don't invite pilots of other squadrons to transfer to your squadron!!

-- In celebration of our Imperial Storm IV victory, there is a wargame-related run-on on the Sov message board. Top participants will win Iron Stars! deadline is Nov. 30. Get posting!

-- Sorry the ship report is late this week. Real life has been ... interesting.

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/SL Licon Stendec/Beta 1-3
FM/SL Thud Asphalt/Kappa 1-3
FM/CPT Psyko Prefect/Sin 1-2

SSSD Sovereign [133]

Wing I [33]
Wing II [29]
Wing III [29]
Wing IV [41]

Omega [9]

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://theholo.net/mb/viewforum.php?f=25
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

PLANETARY OPERATIONS

-- The big news in the galaxy this week is that player cities were unveiled -- and we could not establish our city in our longtime home near Coronet! It seems some Rebels set up a city near our site, preventing us from getting started. This forced an emergency move to Talus. This actually is working out very well! Our new city is near Dearic, and all in all the location is great!

-- Feel free to read and contribute to Tatooine News, my SWG site:
http://www.imperialmight.org/html/index.php

CANTINA COMMENTS

"Em, nobody got me down from the cantina roof.
*Struggles so hard he trips trigger of Sniper Rifle and sends a blast straight up through the center of Proton's desk. Falls down*
Holy Jesus Christ on a motorbike. I'm not payin' for that.
*rushes to TIE Avenger and gets the hell out of Dodge*
PS: Why are all my funny quotes made in response to the Sov News?" -CM Klivian

"To totally immerse yourself, begin by drinking a fifth of Jim Beam. That will put you in the proper frame of mind to be in the Wing." -CM Kahooli

"He means "a fifth of a gross". I'm sure. Otherwise his sentence makes no sense!" -LC Freelancer

"I shall endavor to refraim from my usual GREAT GOOGA MOOGA LOOKIT OUR QOTW SHOWING shouting, as I am sure you are all familiar with the usualy content of my regular comments.
Ah, whatver.
GREAT GOOGA MOOGA! & etc..." -LC Freelancer

"*Insert Free trashing Argon's QotW participation*
*Insert Argon refuting Free's claims*
*Insert the entire discussion in the next QotW*
There, the condensed version ;) " -LC Freelancer

"Wow, Free. There's now no reason for me to read next week's report. Proton will have your head for this." -LC Mike Chistu

"Welcome Seamus
Drink the Jim Beam
then load the Emperors Hammer Battle Launcher
then either take the green pill and wake up as though nothing had happend
or take the red pill and see just how deep this Rabbit hole goes!!" -LCM Arlins(watched the Matrix again)Scabo

"BS. You know as well as I do that Makers Mark is the only way to go!" -CPT Vector

"I'm more of a Johnny Black guy myself but never been known to turn down good booze.....cheap booze? Yes, I do occassionally wrinkle my nose at that....." -SL Seamus Piobaire

"Can I just say Euuuuwwww, Mikes been abusing Freelancers socks.... remind me to stay clear of him for a few weeks/months/years" -COL Jon

"Let the record show that Mike has been abusing his PILOTS *with* (important word there) the socks. He has not been directly abusing the socks -- no wait a second here.
That would explain the cold shakes, the requests for more socks, the dependence on the socktroopers... Oh no, Mike! You're addicted to socks!" -LC Freelancer

"Sorry you had such a mess to come home to, though--shall we arrest your computer as a traitor
to the Empire?" -COL Inkwolf

"Hehe, perhaps that would be a good thing. After I finish "interrogating" it, of course.
*Loud clanging*
You know, they should start replacing stress balls with old PCs...." -Doctor Chris

"/me gets a padded room ready for zeth." -LT "DrunkFool" Conker

"Nonono, Free is missing the point. The point is to have the entire conversation and have it evolve into skunks running through your intestines or some such so that we get about 20 QotWs next week, not just the one ;) " -MAJ Argon

"Ouch pal. I think Wing III might wind up flooding the black market organ trade. I for one, have two kidneys, only using one, two eyes, only using one. Who's got the bucks?! :P " -LC Josh

"A neighbour who was house sitting for us while I was on holiday in Scotland downloaded a bunch of porn on my computer, to burn to DVD later. Apparently, he also download more virusus (or the plural of) than I can count. I couldn't even connect to the web after he was done. Win98
wouldn't work, I kept getting porn popups all the time...just craziness." -SL Seamus

"What!
"But....but....Zekkie, I thought you were one of MY legion of hopeless, Briefing-Officer-Opposed groupies!" -COL Inkwolf

"Champagne is on you today! (As yesterday it was on me. Your fault if you were too late to come to the party;)" -COL Aeishline

"From SL to CMDR in 3 months...... That's gotta be some sort of record!!! Congrats Tolbr!!" -CM Pokemaster

"That's how bribes work, Poke ;)
Congrats Tolbr!" -MAJ Keller

"Shhh, I'm hibernating. Wake me when it's warm enough to wear a bikini again...and no, not for me :P " -LC Brandon

"/me holds up the rusty spoon. And all this time I've been calling it "unnecessary surgery"..." -MAJ Argon "Former Wing VI DOC" Viper

"Hehehe, sunny california seems to be safe. When the San Andreas fault physically separates us from the rest of you losers, we will sit back and laugh at your epidemic." -MAJ Argon

"Beer?!?
Oh, I'm sorry. You said Beer Cup, the comp. Yeah. That.
No, I just can't get past the mention of Beer! I'll be in the cantina! And yes I'll try to fly it before the deadline! I just need to condition (inebriate) myself enough to do it properly." -LC Freelancer

"Yeah, can someone send me the zip file archive again? Despite the TAC and Science Offices' constant assurance that "EHBL is the best thing ever and the whole fleet loves it", the thing still has a hit out on me, so I'm gonna give up on it (again) and go for something that actually lets me fly..." -MAJ Argon

"My anger gives me strength.
We've been in this spot WAY too long to give it up. We will kill the Rebels and take back our rightful home.
I have gazed into my Sith Holocron and foreseen it." -GN Compton

"Meanwhile, to help save the Wing from whatever doom and despair Proton is plotting for us, I decide to launch all of Free's beer out of an escape pod and let said escape pod burn up in the atmosphere." -LCM Colin "Battle 211 Is A Pain In The @$$" Graves

"Hey, we have no need to go to the fridge. Unlike the BG ships, the Sovereign has eight state of the art cantinas (one for each wing and a smaller one for Omega) and one of the best stocked bars in the galaxy (Proton's). Take your fridge back where it belongs, we do better here" -MAJ Argon

"yessshiccup, she's righthiccup :) " -LC Carl Lost

"Men of the line of the Sovereign! You who live near Wing I quarters! I cannot say of any condition of human life: this is fixed, this is clearly good, or bad. Fate raises up, and fate casts down the happy and unhappy alike! Take the case of the Intrepid and Vanguard. These ships were happy once, as I count happiness. Victorious in battle, two strong ships of the fleet. Fortunate ships of pilots talented-born. but now, it has all gone from them. Who can say that a ship is alive when they get the crap beat out them by the Sov? They are flying dead ships. Grant them big, let them fly like kings in their respective parts of space. If they can't fly
TIE 211, XvT 75 or XWA 24, I would not give so much as a shadow of smoke for all they own!
How's that, Proty? better? :P " -LC Mike "messenger from 'Antigone'" Chistu

"Hows about this for a motto: “We laugh in the face of danger, that’s why we have Proton’s booze”.
*a blur dashes past the cantina as the pilots see CM Gyssler running for dear life with his arms full of booze and L,S,D, and B pursuing him*" -CM Gyssler

"i prefer my saying...a vodka a day keeps the doc away
LT."DrunkFool"Conker

"Mwahahaha..................
Nothing can save your precious booze now. However, I'm in a charitable mood, so I'll do something for you guys. *I then order a bunch of NON-ALCOHOLIC beer and stock the Wing I Cantina with it. After that, I then run off in the direction of the Hangar, armed with an E-11 Blaster.* " -LCM Colin "Sovereign Temperance Movement" Graves

"(*Freelancer stands in the door, puts out a boot, and trips Colin, who promptly burries his gun in the deck and smacks his face with the buttstock*)
Oooh, sorry about that ole buddy ole pal. Say, you've got a checkermark pattern on your right cheek. Might wanna have the doc see that." -LC "Innocent whistle" Freelancer

"Encore!
(*throws his pants on the stage*)
heh heh, nobody will know it's me! I'll just have to say "Pants...
What pants?"
Hrm.. kinda cold in there. Gonna have to go get my pants back. >:(
Must THINK before I ACT, selfy-poo. THINK before ACT." -LC Freelancer

"**
Proton motions to Festus the wookie to use his "secret weapon."
The gnarly wookie hoists a WBOB (wookie b.o. bomb) after the fleeing pilot. The warhead explodes at the sprinting criminal's feet, the fumes instantly propeling him head-first into the bulkhead.
** " -AD "don't overlook any of my assistants" Proton

"Proton I'm fairly sure the WBOB has been deemed an inhumane weapon of mass destruction by the EH. Cease and desist or the GA may bring the matter up before a court, or GWB may invade the Sov. Either way it could be bad, y'know?" -LC Frelancer

"Unless of course he uses the WBOB in his escape.
Although it has been banned no one has seen fit to argue with the man that has deemed its use necessary. Or rather anyone who has argued has either died or changed their tune rather quickly." -MAJ Nebular

"Did finally get out to party Saturday night. Let off a lot of steam. Cops came too! That was a great night." -LC Josh

"Though I do have one perplexing question now: I usually get a pretty warm reception from chicks that are spoken for (even in front of the guy doing the speaking), single chicks don't give me
the time of day. WHY?! Please, somebody answer me that. Ah, probably wouldn't understand the answer anyway...
Ah, just remember the beer. Sweet, sweet beer..." -LC Josh

"Because you are safe to flirt with....They have a man already, but being an evil human woman, they like to lead the helpless male to high blood pressure, insatiable desire, and a very long cold shower at the end of the night...its fun for them....." -FA Cyric

"/me puts on his professor uni...
"Actually class, its like this....
Women who are 'attached' can flirt like crazy because they know that if they find they don't like you or the situation (or because their BF's will kick the living snot out of you, hence, they feel sorry for you), they can always back down." -LC Nurel Turr

"(*Free drags Colin, kicking and screaming, down into the HGB with him, crying passionately*)
"From HGB's heart, I stab at thee!! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!" -LC "Ahab" Freelancer

"Grrrr.....
One thing they often forget to teach people when they join the wing...
(*grabs the pistol and squeazes until the barel is no longer straight*)
Don't...
Shoot...
Wing members..." LC Freelancer
...goes to put some alcohol on the wound, via the mouth...

"He's right, you don't shoot them. Tripping, poking, shoving, ratting out to Proton, and throwing in the HGBs are perfectly legal moves, but I'm afraid one more shot and you'll be ejected from the game =P " -MAJ Argon

"*gasp* Did I just hear correctly? Did Freelancer claim not to be insane? I must've had something in my ear... =P " -MAJ Argon

"I do believe that my comments may have been misconstrued to be interpreted in such an unorthodox manner. However, the initial point of my treatise was to illustrate the fact that upon one individual, hereforthwith known as Argon, does attest that said statement does apply, we have no verifiable proof that it does so apply to all individuals that it governs." -LC Freelancer

"Then you ain't DOING it hard enough, Bo-ah! You gotta kick so hard they see their teeth fly outta their mouths!!!! >:D " -LC "vulgar mouth" Freelancer

"Any sign of the weekly Omega Squadron report, or am I just drinking so much that I've missed it?" -COL Brian

"Mooooom-quaaaatch, are you still heeereeee? Can you heeeaarr uuuuss??" -COL Ixion

"she looks oddly high in most of those...oh well" -MAJ David

-----
COM-PROF/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
IC/SSx4/BS/PC/ISMx2/IS-1BW-1SW-1GW/CoLx2/OV-3E [CNTR] {IWATS-FLA-RT-SM/2-TM}

Proton's Imperial Portal:
http://www.imperialmight.org