In an action that gives members of the EH great entertainment, the DB Dark Council is now not only famous for splitting clubs but splitting pants, as they develop a new dancing routine which is taking the Dark Brotherhood by storm. The routine, titled 'Uncoordinated Flail' starts off with the two dancing partners meeting and joining together. After a few minutes of mutual fun together the smaller of the partners, tired of the larger partner supposedly treading on their toes, breaks away from the larger dancer. The larger dancer, after stumbling for a second, continues on unabated, finding a new partner right away. The rogue dancer however starts milling around in confusion right after the break-off, randomly throwing verbal insults at everyone at the function in a vain attempt to look superior in the face of obvious rejection by all. Eventually the dancer's left foot goes one way while their right foot goes the other way, and the dancer explodes in a shower of debris….Sounds like fun!

News just in, the Faethor Art Museum has been vandalized by members of the 'Oppressed Anonymous' Organisation running amok. Rescue crews reported that all pictures within were lost, to the apathy of everyone at the scene. Faethor is outraged by the destruction of his artwork. 'My property is priceless! The sheer audacity of this theft have shown me that the kinds of people that will steal property that isn't theirs to prove some sort of vague point that they have been oppressed by I'm-sure honest persons are simply not worth listening to!' People who overheard this outburst simply said, '*cough*D*cough*B*cough*'

Well Mirei is leaving the Dark Brotherhood to the surprise of all. Many thought that '100 times was the charm' but they were proven wrong by her dogged detirmination. But she doesn't leave empty handed. No, the Emperor's Hammer, hearing the news, mailed her a special kit that the members made up themselves out of the pure kindness of their hearts. Labelled 'Welcoming and leaving made EZY' this package enables the person arriving or leaving a new group of people to create a special party just for them, out of their own pockets, tailored to their specifications. This is a good thing for Mirei, as most clubs that she joins have to fork out an apparently massive bill to support her arrival. This is made clear by the general deterioration of the club in almost all aspects as they struggle to meet their demands. Once the club realizes this and says farewell, the saying-goodbye celebration means that the club must put up with the fallout of her for a long time to come, as her departure is just as dramatic as her arrival. Now with this kit, Mirei will be able to burden herself with the costs. That way, everyone who matters is happy!

Latest poll figures released today by the Emperor's Hammer indicate that people love them. The results are as follows: