Wing XIII Report 38, September 27 2004.
Document limited to ASF Internal Use Only
LOCATION CLASSIFIED
Well I wanted to wait for this morning's Territorial Engagement to announce what would have no doubt been a crushing Imperial victory, but the sodding server crashed four times. Too bad.
<Gilad_WSR> So Archon and them are trying to beg me to do the RoS run-on
<Gilad_WSR> I thought about just posting, "Gilad sits at his command post on the ISD Grey Wolf where he belongs, not galivanting around the galaxy hunting for Jedi or rDB"
<Onion> you should.
<Gilad_WSR> I told them I was a pilot, not a writer
<Onion> Can I use that excuse for my Wing Reports? :P
<Gilad_WSR> No
<Gilad_WSR> You still have to write reports ;p
And so begins Wing Report 38, were we find our heros in a drunken stupor. Er. Where we find the Wing Commander of the ISD Grey Wolf frantically composing his wing report.
Interviewer: "Excuse me, can I talk to Yoda?"
GreenGnome: "Yoda. You seek Yoda!"
Interviewer: "Yes. Do you know where he is?"
GreenGnome: "Yes. I do. Not here. Anywhere but here. Now go away. I'm writing."
Interviewer spies the name tag on the Gnome's datapad. "Hey! You're Yoda"
GreenGnome: "Yes. But thanks for giving me some report filler."
Interviewer: "I feel violated."
GreenGnome: "That's the effect of being strip searched by Joey. You'll get over it. Vader did."
Interviewer: "But Vader is dead."
GreenGnome: "Yeh. That's how he got over it."
Well I don't know what I was smoking, but on with the report!
Check out my cool TE badges! If you play FW, you can use these as well.
Operations Aegis Shield, Stoneskin, Supremacy and Sunburn respectively, plus a Best Pilot award from Stoneskin. I think I need more interesting things to put in here. Like my feature article.
==FEATURE==
Hello good evening and welcome to the Pickled Yoda school of gardening for the TIE Corps Officer. I realize you may not have an abundance of space, soil, seeds, water, nutrients or horticultural talent, but nevertheless, if you follow my simple steps, you will be guaranteed something will grow. The odds are good that it might even be edible and not fatal for most species!
Firstly, choose the plants you are going to grow. I recommend the onion. My fellow horticulturalist on the Grey Wolf, Joey, orders you all to plant a leek, and is selling them at reasonable prices. Take a leek today!
Secondly, put the seeds in soil or a soil substitute. Suggested soil substitutes include the ship’s reactor, the trash compactor, and Colonel Frodo’s hairy hobbit feet.
Third, you should water these on a regular basis. I do it weekly, on Fridays, which is also Joey’s washing day. Using water is actually important. The ISD Immortal Garden Association were last seen heading to their greenhouse with some waste products from their reactor (mistakenly labeled as water), and no trace has been found since.
Fourth, lump it all in together, add some spices, and serve it in small portions to your guests. If you point your blaster at them, there will be no complaints.
Lastly, as a space filler to get the regulation line length for my article, something about time of the year to plant and a warning to never ever let Khadgar talk you into writing a short piece about gardening.
==WING COMMANDER'S BIT==
Pleasing Freeworlds activity this week. I'll point out that we have two of the elite Wolf Squadron pilots on the Grey Wolf, Kysar and myself (No idea what BubbaX was smoking either). Recommend you all to get the game.
I'm on holidays, and we should see a CMDRs vs the rest of the Wolf competition soon. Look out for that.
I'm going to get cracking on the MCW battle for the first round. Cya next week.
