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Gilad is climbing up some unnecessarily long stairs, and at the top, far above him, the MONASTERY *dramatic music*

Finally, Gilad reaches the top and goes through the large wooden door

A Monk Leader suddenly appears next to Gilad.
Gilad> My goodness.
Joey> Hello.
Gilad>That was quite a shock. It's extremely nice to meet you. My name is Gilad Pellaeon...and I am looking for a Pickled Yoda.
Joey> No man here...carries with him...a label.
Gilad>What? Oh, yes. No names. How silly of me. He's an Australian.
Joey>We are all children...of the same life force.
Gilad>Yes, of course we are. He bends over and speaks from his rear.
Joey>Oh, him. Right this way. He came to us a broken man. He had lost the will to sustain his existence.
Gilad>Yes, I heard about that unfortunate accident with the raccoon.
Joey>It was terrible for him. But the life force...once again...smiled upon him. He's now at peace. I will wait here.

*Door opens to reveal Yoda, in a meditative pose, wearing a ridiculous hat*
*Gilad goes closer and closer, until mere inches from Yoda, who has not acknowledged Gilad's prescence. Suddenly, he shouts, and Gilad is startled.*

Yoda> I must apologize.
Gilad>Quite. Well, no harm done. Let me introduce myself. My name is Gilad Pellaeon,and I'm here to employ your services as a Wing Commander for the Grey Wolf. Can you help us?
Yoda>Your request is like your intestine. Stinky, and loaded with danger.
Gilad>We can pay handsomely.
Yoda>I am now a child of light. Your earthly money holds no appeal to me.
Gilad>$20,000.
Yoda>Reeeeeeeally? ....No. I cannot. For I am sorely needed, here...at the monastery.
Joey>If I may interject? We're short of space. And it's important for you to use your talents. Let me help you pack.
Yoda>But I have yet to attain omnipresent super-galactic oneness.
Joey>Wait! There it is! You've just attained it.
Yoda>I have?
Joey>Just now. You are one! I can see it in your eyes. You're more one than anyone.
Yoda>What about my medallion of spiritual accomplishment?
Joey>Take mine.
Yoda>This took you 80 years to achieve!
Joey>That's okay. I don't like it anymore. Really.
Yoda>In light of this personal sacrifice you've made, I have no choice, but to take the case.
Joey>Great! I'll tell the others.
Yoda> Master ... Break it to them gently.
*Our two heroes leave the Monastery, but all of the other monks appear to be partying*
Yoda> I've never seen them act like that before. Denial can be an ugly thing.
Gilad>We should go, Major Yoda. I've arranged a shuttle.
Yoda>I'll meet you at the bottom. There's still one more thing I must do before I go.
*Yoda starts a slinky down the long, thousand stairs that lead up to the Monastery*

Wow, that was long. I promise never to do that again. You may have noticed that it is remarkably similar to the opening of Ace Ventura 2. I swear its a coincidence.

I am the new Wing Commander. You must have noticed.

Emails received as Wing Commander - XAM passed by...me . IS-BR goes to....me.

Thats all, Gilad has the full list. Leave me alone, its my first report.

Ghorg won the "How long will Gilad last" Comp....do I get one? :P

Wolfpack Iron Star Competitions:
FCHG Comp- For the pilot who gains the most FCHG Points in a month
CR Comp- For the pilot who gains the most CR Points in a month
Wolfpack Ace- For the pilot who earn the most Pilot of the Week awards
Trivia Comp- For the pilot who answers the most Trivia questions in a month
Graphics Comp- For the pilot who submits the best graphics in a month
Beat the COM- For the pilot who beats the COM in head-to-head MP

Vlad's Easter Egg Hunt - Version Two
Yes, thats right. Vlad's crazy egg hunt is going on again. Now with even more rewards...but harder eggs. Good luck, but not too much, I also have my eyes on that GR >:P.

I haven't got a record of the flying, etc done ...I will mention a new fad in the wing though...

Basically, the name of the game is "Drive your Commander Insane". It helps if you are both online at the same time.

What you have to do, is fly as many free missions in an hour as you can, with someone timing. Note - you must message the timer after each mission. For added fun, make the timer your commander. As an optional extra, the timer may take bets on what your score will be, with everyone in #wingxiii having a guess.

I must confess, I am directly to blame for this..
The current record for Tie Frees 1-100 is 19 in one hour. The current record for Tie Frees 100-x is 17. I have separated these because we all know what the early Tie Battles are like.
This game has not been tested on XvT/XWA

Quote : <Mobsta> OOOOH...personal craft admin options

Yes, I now have teh uber admin!!! My personal craft is finally Z-95 Trainer. Take *that!* OoB :P

I am sure I could come up with a bunch of pledges, and promises...but I won't. I will tell you, however, that in my application, under "Goals for the Wing", I simply said :

1 - Get a full roster
and
2 - Win SC:VI.

Thats all I need until we have achieved this...so don't ask until the end of Feburary for new goals.

Link of the week : Real Life Comics Very funny.

I am looking for feedback on the look of this report...personally, I like it a lot. Don't expect to see the marques replaced by stationary text, though...its far too much space >:P. Sarin isn't the only one with a report format that actually makes you interested in the content - hoo-ah!

I got ADSL 512/128 on an unlimited download plan recently...which means:
a) - if you know good things to download...im interested. For too long have I said "no, 20MB would take me a day to download"
b) The new hub/router has a firewall that I want to get rid of. (Hardware). How can I get dcc and Multiplayer working again? Cookies for the winners

1 - Have a nice holiday, all of you may forget about activity until next year.

2 - Go see Return of the King. In related news, VA Frodo is in Mordor, on leave for a few days. (Well, thats better than just saying 'on leave' , isn't it?)

3 - GWSOoM are declared Knights of the Realm, and are allowed free travel within these lands...uh..
Ok, lets just say we won't be cleaning the hull any time soon.

4 - Kelh and Ghorg have to polish my Tie Fighter

5 - Squadron Commanders are to do that MSE thing, by the new year...but I will accept them from now.