Wing XIII Report # 0 (2002-11-24)

This report was submitted by MAJ Hev Randrowan


WingXIII - Weekly Report

..:[News]:..

Gah! My belly hurts... I'm back from hospital:P

CPT Mage took up a CMDR spot in Cheth. You're cutting a hole that will be difficult to fill:P Be sure to stun me once I run into Halc or I'll end up tearing him apart with my bare hands....:)

Thorn now officially the first to be honored with the "WingXIII Chef" title. (More info, below).

Valkyrie squad got a new banner:)


..:[Overall situation]:..

Still, I get complaints bout... well... the bad situation on ISD Grey Wolf...
Funny contrast...
The CMDRs complain bout disinterested , inactive pilots...
Some of the pilots complain bout missing something that keeps em active, atmosphere, talk, jokes between friends, all the little spices and salt that makes the
soup taste different than water...

Notice something? All you people want must be started by yourself. Now: How you expect people to start joking with you if you're not active on MB? If you're not present on IRC?

I'm trying to do my best in order to get some fresh air into the sticky old den. But I alone can't do everything. I am here to provide the basis, you people are the ones to build on it.

And trust me ... with forthcoming communication, you'll develope some taste in TC again. You just got to find the right start off. Suddenly, you'll find yourself checking

IRC more often... out of curiosity that you might miss something interesting when people start rambling bout the color of my socks:P

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..:[Dropping Numbers]:..

Where did all the pilots go...

CMDRs are currently performing AWOL checks:P
So... if you catch somebody poking you into the side while you happily dream in your bunk, be sure to reply some sort of "eeep", otherwise you'll find yourself in a big, black plastic bag, with a little "AWOL" tag on your big toe, floating in space:P

I'll make it short: WingXIII isn't in the condition to take dropping numbers and I plead in your companionship and trust in us that you decide to stand up to the call.

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..:[Where's my Pizza,d00d?]:..


Thorn roared with joy as his Gunboat's lasers reached
it's target and last of Republic X-Wings that attacked
EH outpost bursted in flames and exploded. "Yey!!!
That's number 100 this week!" Thorn looked around him
"Base personnel will take care of the mess. Lets head home,
Crusaders!". "Right you are, Commander!" said Devin through
the intercom "We have to celebrate another victory"
Thorn smiled as he thought about crates of cold beer waiting
at Odin's Cantina "Panaka, Rep! Take your Flights home!".
Wookie set the hyperjump coordinates as Flight Leaders
approved the order "Grey Wolf beer storage...HERE WE COME!"
And whole Crusader Squadron entered hyperspace thinking
about beer and girls waiting for them.
***********************************************************
"Gungan's Curse" slowly entered the Grey Wolf's docking
bay. Thorn set his fighter on ground and unzipped the seatbelt.
Before all fighters landed Thorn already was on his way to
Cantina. Suddenly he felt something and stopped. "Oh no! Not
now!" he thought. "Come on out, Hev! I know you're here!" he
shouted. Silence was the answer. But Wookie knew his Wing
Commander and waited patiently. Something fell of the ceiling
and screamed "AUCH!". Wookie sighted "Hev, can't you use floor?
I told you many times that you're not a spider and you can't
walk upside down!". Gungan got up from the ground "Bah! Yousa
knowin' nothin'! Mesa Gungan! Mesa can do anythin'!".
Thorn sighted again "So...another mission completed! You came
here to congratulate, promote or give something shinny?"
Hev scratched his head "Eeee...well...i was looking for you,
indeed" Wookie stood upright and showed his chest "I wonder what
medal I'll get this time..." he smiled. Hev scratched his head
again "Well..." his voice became official "Captain Thorn! In
gratification for your exceptional performance,flying 34
missions and many more achievements..."
Thorn smiled as he prepared himself for BS at least "I will
present you a task...of getting me PIZZA!!!"
"WHAAAAAT!?" Thorn yelled "WHAT!!???"
"I'm hungry" Hev started explaining, but the unconscious Thorn lying
on the deck didn't hear him anymore.
***********************************************************
"...that's why you must help me" Thorn ended and looked at his
squadmates. Most of them were already drunk and Arthur was
snorring. "SO GET TO IT!" Pilots slowly and unconsciously began
to rise from their seats. "On the double!" Thorn shouted.
Wookie sighted "I cant take it without a drink - get me a crate
or two!"
***********************************************************
Repulsor approached the Grey Wolf's kitchen. On the door he saw a
sign saying "%&$&$&#$&# off! Mad Wookie is cooking!". Rep
sighted and entered the room. Thorn, wearing Chef hat was
standing next to large pizza oven. He looked drunkly at Flight
Leader "So - did you get me what i asked for?"
Repulsor nodded "Yes sir. Our raid on Endor was succesful" he
showed a large cage behind him. "Okay - check if Panaka got back
from that battle site" Thorn said. "He is back - and brought all
debris he could find" Rep replied. Suddenly door opened and
Devin came in and saluted "Sir! I was on
Arrakis and brought you some spice...I had some problems,
because bunch of peasants called Fremens tried to stop me using
large worms. they said that spice is sacred and that it controls
the Universe! What morons!" Thorn sighted "Of course it does!
Pizza would be good for nothing without it!" Devin smiled "But
mission is accomplished and they wont bother us anymore -
i shot their leader - Muad'dibble or something and they all
committed suicide"
"Good work" Wookie praised his wingmen. "So - lets start
cooking!"
***********************************************************
Thorn put a large 25x25 meter concrete basis on the
table. "Ok...now time for ingredients". Devin closed by "Should
we kill Ewoks?" "Nah!" Thorn replied "We will make a LIVING
SCREAMING PIZZA!" "And should we cut those
X-Wing's parts?" Rep asked. Thorn thought for few seconds "No!
we want Hev to have a stomach...and don't remove the Rebel
corpse from it".
Soon concrete pizza with screaming Ewoks, X-Wing, spice melange
and unopened kegs of beer reached the oven. But there was a
problem "$%#$^! It's to bit!" Panaka cursed. Thorn scratched his
furry head "That's nothing".
Grey Wolf's corridors were filled with choas as Thorn flew his
Gunboat to the kitchen. Fighter approached pizza and Thorn
started firing his tlasers at it. The whole Grey Wolf shook.
Sarin woke up and turned Red Alert on. Thorn climbed of the GUN's cabin
and looked at his masterpiece. "Good - now it's almost ready...a little more
spice would be needed" he took a large comb and started brushing his fur
"We'll add some to that meal!".He threw his hair into pizza. "Now it's
ready! Call Hev!"
***********************************************************
Wookie still wearing Chef's hat stood with proud as his
squadmates unloaded HUGE concrete pizza from his Train of Furry
Terror to WC's office. Hev closed to Pizza "Yummy lookin'!"He
jumped onto it and started eating "Start the timer!" he shouted
with part of X-Wing's engine and lots of Thorn's hair in his
mouth. Rep obeyed the order.
2 mins and 16 secs.
This is how long it took this Gungan to eat 25x25 meters
concrete pizza with a container of Ewoks, container of spice,
container of unopened beer kegs two containers of Wookie's hair
and a squadron of Rebel X-Wing's.
Hev burped and farted "I WANT MORE!!!" he yelled "That little
pizza only made mesa hungry!!!"
That were the last words that Thorn heard before Medics took him
to Grey Wolf Asylum for special treatment...

ENDE


WEEE! I like it, I like it.... a nice example of how to do it... VERY long, you could have done far shorter but okay, I'm not the
one to limit such work:) Thx for playing along, Thorn... I'll try to move something shiny through OPS for you... In the meanwhile
you may add "The WC's Chef" to your IDLine for the coming week:) On IRC, you got the right to insist on Wing members to call you "Chef"
while talking to you:) And if one refuses ... *waves with his bat.

Okay, new contestant... If the new contestant manages to get a fiction in, he'll get the Chef title. If not, Chef stays with Thorn and the contestant
that didn't bring in a fiction will earn the title of WingXIII Janitor for one week with the 'exclusive right' to clean my office:P

And the new contestant is.... [RANDOM NUMBER]... 24! And pilot number 24 counting down from the beginning of the roster is... Shai!
Shai will have the honor to challenge Thorn for the Chef title...Go boy... Get me some pizza!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

That would be all this week.
You are free to go.
Pilots, one last bidding, show up on IRC some more.
Most often, the best and funniest stuff is happening there. By staying away, you miss much of the fun and that
only counts against you and backdoors, against us.


WC/MAJ Hev Randrowan/Wing XIII/ISD Grey Wolf
SS/BSx4/PCx12/ISMx9/MoI/MoT-1rh/IS-5BW-3BR-1SR/LoC-PSx55/DFC/CoL/CoB/LoAx3/OV-2E [EXCR] {IWATS-AIM-CBX-FLA-GFX-ICQ-LIN-M/1/2-SM/2/3-TM-TT-XTM/1-XTT}





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