Pilot's Lounge
This week's fictional item based on Monty Python's Holy Grail:
PILOT: We don't have a Wing Commander.
KHADGAR: What? I am your Wing Commander!
PILOT: Well, I didn't vote for you.
KHADGAR: You don't vote for Wing Commanders!
PILOT: Well, how did you become Wing Commander, then?
KHADGAR: The Commodore of the Grey Wolf...
... his badge glowing bright, held aloft a Wing Commander badge aloft from the door of his quarters, signifying that I was to be the new Wing Commander.
That is why I am your Wing Commander!
PILOT: Listen. Commodores standing on decks distributing badges is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical appointment ceremony.
KHADGAR: Be quiet!
PILOT: But you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some Commodore threw a badge at you!
KHADGAR: Shut up!
PILOT: I mean, if I went round saying I was an Emperor just because some old man made me his heir, they'd put me away!
KHADGAR: Shut up! Will you shut up!?
PILOT: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
KHADGAR: Shut up!
PILOT: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!
KHADGAR: Bloody pilot!
PILOT: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Do you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?
Letters from the Cardinal...
Next week, the Cardinal's office will be calling in Marvin the robot from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. However, this week's report is rather lacking in materials. Hence, I will do what politicans, school administrators, and various other bureaucrats. That is, I will make vague and wordy promises which look very good, but upon examination, mean nothing.
The Cardinal's Office pledges to:
1. Initiate strategies to capitalize on our assets.
2. Recognize invaluable achievements with notable accolades.
3. Seek to marginalize any ubiquitous problems.
4. Counter inactiveness with effective utilization of resources at our disposal.
5. Upgrade equipment to promote a positive work environment.
6. Not make up vague statements like this next week.
News
- ASF:SC V is taking place now! Be sure to participate!
- COL Khadgar was appointed Wing Commander.
- Tartarus Squadron Commander is open for applications.
Promotions
COL Woobee was promoted to Flight Leader of Tartarus Flight II!
COL Khadgar was promoted to Wing Commander.
Medals
LT Draco Cannis won a Distinguished Flying Cross (DFC) for winning a Multiplayer competition!
I don't have many medals to report this week, since MSE confirmations came out before I got the spot. :P
Expect to see more here next time.
IWATS Courses
LCM Artur Knight completed IWATS XTM/1!
Once again, this is probably not all the IWATS courses, since I wouldn't have gotten all the confirmations this week.
War Room
Aggressor Strike Force: Supremacy Competition V
Deadline: February 1st, 2003.
URL: http://www.minos.net/~autoris/
Description: General activity competition in the Battlegroup to determine the Flagship, Escort Squadron and Top Pilot for the Battlegroup!
COM's Protector
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=129
Description: Top overall pilot of the month as chosen by the Commodore.
FCHG Race
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=130
Description: The pilot to gain the most FCHG points each month wins.
CR Competition
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=131
Description: The pilot to gain the most Combat Rating points each month wins.
Graphics
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=132
Description: Awards given to the best graphical submissions each month.
Fictional
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=133
Description: Awards given to the best fiction submissions each month.
Beat the COM
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=134
Description: Given to the first pilot to beat the Commodore in a Multiplayer match each month.
Trivia
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=135
Description: Given to the pilot who is able to correctly answer the COM's weekly trivia faster than anyone else, and the most times in a month.
Wing Commander's Office
This week I've been impressed with what I've seen from the ship. Our ASF:SC V efforts are going extremely well, and the ship is in a tight race with the ISD Intrepid for flagship. We have a good shot at winning if we can keep up this activity! :)
This week my suggestions are simply to read all E-Mails from my office and keep up your ASF:SC V activities. I may be a bit less active at times this month due to exams, and I will be sure to update you further on this.
Picture of the Week
Wing XIII
Flag Officers - 1
Vortex - 6
Phoenix - 6
Crusader - 7
Odin - 9
Tartarus - 8
Valkyrie - 6
Total: 43
In the service of the Empire,
Colonel Khadgar
Wing Commander, Wing XIII
WC/COL Khadgar/Wing XIII/ISD Grey Wolf
GOE/GS/SSx3/BSx4/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-1BW-8BR-4SR/LoC-IS-CSx2-Rx1/CoL/CoB/LoAx9/OV-2E
[EXCR] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2-TT-VBS-XTM/1}