Well, Hotmail seems to have ignored my previous attempt to send this (Sunday night), so you all may receive a second version of this. Just delete it :)
My friend has just left for home (He stayed with us while his parents were camping in Prince Edward Island), which is why I haven't been haunting IRC like I usually do :) Anyway, let's get into it.
CPT Wes Janson strolled down the corridor, alone. Passing some mangled young LT corpses, he assumed that he would find his old friend, teh TyPoDeMoN! Not long down the corridor, low and behold, there he was in all his ugliness... RA Khadgar!! (No! Just kidding :P ) The TYPODEMON! This week, he was not sure what to do. He stood there, thinking... and with one single bold move, he bolted after the Typodemon, chasing him down the corridor. Screaming like a drunken wookiee, he charged after him. The Typodemon looked oddly at him for a moment, and ran for his life. After a short jaunt down the corridor, the Typodemon fell off a convieniently cut hole in the floor, into a convieniently placed Idustrial Sized Imperial Paper Shredder. With a shriek, he was done for this week.
From nowhere, MAJ Azazel appeared behind him.
"Nice work with the Typodemon. Now clean up that mess!" he ordered.
CPT Janson turned and took off running.
Congratulations to Az, who will be getting his IS-BR in the mail :)
Well, just a few comments. Aside from my mass of BSF's this week (Sorry Azazel :P ) I haven't seen a thing come from this Squadron. I acknowledge some of you are busy, but it isn't hard to find twenty minutes to fly a battle. Like I mentioned in the last report, I will be instituting new rules next week regarding activity. If you can't follow those, you're out. Plain and simple. The rules will get harder (Expectations will rise) as per week you can all follow the set I lay out. Anyway, moving on.
-Congrats to LCM Augusting Bodurka, who was promoted earliy this morning (Or last night, I don't know :P). Well deserved promotion! Drinks are on him for the next week :)
-My all hallowed Mission Compendium is offline for a renaming cycle. Well Az, I suppose you get a week off :)
-The TC Survey center has a new question regarding the new Uniforms. Everyone log in and vote on them
-FO's on leave for a while.
-ImpStorm II - End Of Turn V Events (Old News): Well, stuff happened here, but I'll just bring you up to speed on the important one:
Task Force Flaming Arrow captured the world of Gengar. Riiiiggghhtt.....
-TOA2 is open. So, if anyone wants the position, head over to imperialacademy.org/jobs.asp and check it out.
-And this is the fun one: Thanks to AD Ari and FA AbK, the EH now has Sabacc Online :) I played it for a few hours on the weekend, and trust me: It's fun, and you'll get the hang of it fast!
[CMDR] CPT Wes Janson
-Flew TC-TIE 110-145 and 176. Would have done more, if he was at home or his friend wasn't there.
[1-2] LCM Mad Max
-Nothing this week. Battles?
[1-3] TBA
Yes, Colonel Donitz left us for Tau this week. Ah well... now we'll have to find a second MPer.
[1-4] LT Black Knight
-Seen on IRC. Now get some battles done.
[2-1] CPT Con Selar
-Sumitted fiction for the report. Pretty funny stuff :)
[2-2] LT Gryffon
-Seen on IRC. I would like to see some battles now, Mr. 0 FCHG.
[2-3] MAJ Seggybop
-Nothing this week. Battles.
[2-4] CM Cmr Brown
-Nothing this week. Send me some battles.
[3-1] LT Augusting Bodurka
-Promoted to LCM! Just send me some battles ASAP
[3-2] SL Nihil Baxter
-Joined us this week from Daedalus. Get some battles flown ASAP and get promoted to LT!
[3-3] TBA
[3-4] LT Kommandor
-Still nothing. If you're not going to fly, and not going to e-mail us, perhaps you should consider the Reserves.
A little something from ConSelar this week :)
Nights On The GW - CPT Con Selar
CPT Con Selar sat in the Grey Wolf´s Officer mess and did his monthly
meditation, just like every second Friday each month.
Actually only he called it a meditation because he consumed a lot
of exotic (and alcoholic) drinks until he got visions (pink elephants and
company).
After having "meditated" enough Selar staggered towards his quarters
and in a sudden moment of clearness he remembered he had to bring his
Flight Report to CPT Janson before 600 hours in the morning.
"Damm sis Flyt Report. I´ll haff to do that now cuz i have only two
minutes left, err hours, or something" he groaned.
One hour later he had already written the first three lines of his
report and he realized that he was not alone anymore.
"Now you are mine. I will feast upon your corpse" the dark figure silently spoke.
"Oh CPT Janson, don´t be angry. I´ll finish this in a minute" CPT Selar explained and wondered
where that peanut butter smell came from.
"I am not your CPT you moron, I am the Typodemon" the dark figure shouted out and leaped
towards CPT Selar.
"NOOooOOo" CPT Selar shouted and tried to dodge the attack.
The Typodemon turned around to complete his devilish work.
CPT Selar took the only thing he could grab and threw it at the Demon.
The Typodemon easily catched that thing and crushed it between it´s teeth.
First it grinned, but then it suddenly turned pale and looked frightened.
The Typodemon cried out loud and leaped towards the escape pod in Phoenix quarters
and ejected itself.
"Sir, one of our escape pods just started, there are no life signs on board" the gunner
stated.
"This was probably just a malfunction. But you know our updated orders. Shoot it." the
gunnery officer ordered.
Seconds later the Typodemon floated in space without the pod and realized it had to wait
for an unlucky ship that would pick it up.
Meanwhile on the Grey Wolf.
CPT Janson stood infront of CPT Selar.
"Why did that escape pod start?" he asked.
"That Typodemon forced me to drink alcohol and after I hit it with my data pad
it tried to escape and fled from the ship" CPT Selar answered (almost) honestly.
"What for the Emperor´s sake was on this data pad?"
"Just my Flight Report, here is a backup of the first lines. The rest got lost" Selar said.
>
>Flyt Ripport for Feenicks zkwadron Fliyt tOo ISD graiWoolve
>Capten Con Selar reepording In.......
CPT Janson looked at the report.
"Con that beginning of that Flight Report is not that bad. At least you wrote
your name right. I heard Typodemons live on the section of their victims brains
that are resposible for writing composition and language forming.
If it had known of your limitations in basic he would have realized earlier that
you will make a bad nutrition.
It should have known that Imperial soldiers do not make good food for any parasite.
Those intellectuals in the New Republic will have definitely more fun with that Typodemon"
RA Khadgar ordered the communications officer to relay a Alliance distress call just before
the Grey Wolf entered hyperspace.
Two hours later a New Republic battle cruiser entered the system and scanned for debris.
After detecting the debris of an escape pod, the cruiser pulled the all debris into
its hangar bay, not knowing what was just waiting for them....
Very well done :)
I lied about not caring about the TAC's FCHG Comp :) Me and LC Mike teamed up and made a really cool battle, so it's not too late! Anyone who wants to try their hand at mission making, this is your chance. But don't submit crap (IE - overused plotlines, buggy missions). You test it, and you make sure it's perfect.
Online Tournaments:
Sunday:
XWA Zone Sunday:
XWA event on Internet Gaming Zone
Time: 1:00 - 2:30 PM EST
Awards: LoC for every win, DFC for overall winner.
Monday:
Praetorian Competition:
XvT and XWA event on IRC channel: #praetorian
Time: 19:00 - 21:00 EST
Awards: LoC for every win, DFC for over all winner
Wednesday:
Greenwich Wolf Competition:
XVT and XWA event on IRC channel: #wingxiii
Time: 1:00 - 4:30 PM EST
Awards: LoC for every win. PC for overall winner, ISM for second place.
Wednesday ASF Competition:
XWA and XVT event on IRC channel: #wingxiii
Time: 7:00 - 10:30 PM EST
Awards: LoC for every win. 2xDFC for overall winners in both games.
Thursday:
Avenger Training:
XWA and XVT event on IRC channel #avenger
Time: 8:00 - 11:00 PM EST
Awards: LoC for every win. 2xDFC for overall winners in both games.
Saturday:
EuroLoC aka Euro Competition:
XVT and XWA event on IRC channel #euroloc
Time: 10:00 - 11:30 AM EST
Awards: LoC for every win, DFC for overall winner.
Kampfegemetzel:
XWA event on Internet Gaming Zone
Time: 1:00 - 3:00 PM EST
Awards: LoC for every win
Emperor's Hammer:
Contact via IRC on channel #emperor's_hammer
Tie Corps:
Contact via IRC on channel #tiecorps
Webstie: www.tiecorps.org
Message Board Board: www.tiecorps.org/mb
Aggressor Strike Force:
Contact via IRC on channel #eh_asf
Website: http://www.redrival.com/demios/enter.html
Message Board: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=21
ISD Grey Wolf:
Contact via IRC on channel #wingxiii
Website: isdgreywolf.emperorshammer.ca
Message Board: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=28&v=1&s=0
49th Imperial Starfighter Squadron - Phoenix Squadron
CMDR: CPT Wes Janson (wesjesterjanson@hotmail.com)
Website: TBA
Message Board: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=24&v=1&s=1
KHADGAR QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
[19:23]
[19:23]
[19:23]
[19:23]
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[19:23]
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This was a discussion on something a bunch of us were talking about in #TIECorps. Better if you don't ask... at least Khadgar and I will get it :P
Well, just standing orders here. Fly battles. Fly MP. End.
CMDR-SR/CPT Wes Janson/Phoenix/Wing XIII/ISD Grey Wolf
PCx3/ISMx2/MoI/IS-1BW-1SR/LoC-PSx122/DFC-SWx11/CoB [GLDR] {IWATS-CBX-GFX-ICQ-IIC/1/2-M/1/2-SM/2-TT}
PRT Hawk Falcone (Sith)/Archanis of Taldryan {SA:CORE}
DOC/LT Wes Janson/TCASFAV/ISD Grey Wolf
{FMCA:DOC}
SEN Nathan West (Tanaab) {LXY: Highlander}
FM/FLT Derrik Del'Torran/Enforcer 3-4/Wing I/MC-90 Renegade/IW/EH
[MC-1] {IWTA-SGK-FLT}