CPT Daisuke Airyu, reporting in for the week of 6/30-7/6, 2001

THIS WEEK'S GRUDGE MATCH:
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
VS
The Weakest Link

Serovich: Why?!! Why must you continue to pick more and more deeply disturbing topics for your grudge matches? I'm getting sick of doing this, it's like I'm just here for comic relief.
Airyu: Is that your final answer?
Serovich: *Screams and draws lightsaber* YOU SICK BASTARD!!! THIS IS THE LAST TIME!!!
Airyu: Well... uh.... okay then. Would you like to use one of your lifelines?
Serovich: *Twitches several times*
Airyu: Hee hee hee, this is fun! It's just like the catatonic game! Ever played that?
Serovich: Huh? *relaxes some*
Airyu: It's where you find a catatonic person, and poke them until they go postal and attack you. The point of the game is to poke them as many times as possible... it's kinda like high-risk Jenga!
Serovich: And your point being?
Airyu: It's simple! I just quote these awful pathetic gameshows until you finally snap and lop my head off!
Serovich: And... how the hell is this entertainment?
Airyu: Probably the same way Millionaire and Weakest Link are.
Serovich: Being?
Airyu: Watching the sheer stupidity of others, and laughing your ass off at them cause they're so damn stupid!
Serovich: So... for the people playing, it's not really all that fun...
Airyu: Hmm... very true. *starts to realize* Well, which show has the higher concentration of stupid people?
Serovich: I don't know about stupid people, but Weakest Link lets all the morons compete at the same time... and not only that, it uses that same stupid voting thing from Survivor!
Airyu: AAugH!! *falls over* Don't say it... anything but the S-word!!!
Serovich: Fine. So does Weakest Link have it?
Airyu: Yes. And one more thing...
Serovich: Yes?
Airyu: You... are.... THE WEAKEST LINK!!!!
Serovich: *draws lightsaber again and charges*
Airyu: Oh crap.

MORAL: Don't let your CMDR watch any more of these game shows, cause he gets an ego trip, as they are all greatly inferior to his supreme intellect! MWA HA!

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FLEET NEWS
------------------------
IMPERIAL STORM II IN FULL SWING
And... uh... stuff is happening. Go look for yourself, it doesn't affect us so far :P Flaming Arrow beat Silver Saber in the first Battle of Valkier, and the second one will take place this weekend.

COMM OFFICE WEBSITE ONLINE
Drop by http://comm.ehnet.org to see... uh... stuff.

MELL PROMOTED
After several months as COM of the Colossus, he's earned the rank of Vice Admiral. Which means that Mani should be getting promoted soon too :p

NEW BATTLES
Yeppers. The Tactical Office has released some new things for you to fly *wink wink nudge nudge*

NEW HALF-LIFE MOD
Shadows of the Force. Yay. However, something tells me that Lucasarts will shut this down before it gets ready to be released.... damn them.

NEW AVENGER CMDR
Replacing the veteran LC Death, LC E. Tarkin has stepped up to command the slightly undersized elite squadron from which I came several months ago. Let's hope he can bring it out of the abyss...

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CHAL NEWS
---------------------
TEMPEST DEFEATED BY PRAETORIAN
In a close match, the elite squad barely squeaked by with a win against the Tempestations. Next time.

WING X LEAGUE STANDINGS AFTER WEEK 2
Ha! That lazy bum Darklord hasn't processed them yet! :P
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TYPHOON HAPPENINGS
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TALLY, TREY ON LEAVE
LT Trey Ivins' CD-ROM drive is broken, so he is now unable to fly TIE. Also, LCM Talon Drear was in an automobile accident last monday. Thankfully, he was all right. However, he has been forced to start working a night job to pay for the damage to the other car.

SEITHEN ON PSEUDO-LEAVE
His computer's memory management is screwy. He might be able to fly, but he's not entirely sure.

WOODY STILL NOT BACK YET
Still waiting. I'm growing very tired of waiting for you to get back from leave, Woody, so if you don't come back in the next week, I will have no choice but to move you to the reserves, until you finally get back and fully operational. There's always a place for you here, but four months of being on leave is a bit much.

Medals
CPT Daisuke Airyu ----- Iron Star - Silver Ribbon

Current "casualties"
LCM Talon Drear -------- Working (critical- on leave. ETC 2 weeks)
LT Trey Ivins -------------- Main CD-ROM drive broken (critical- on leave. ETC 2-3 weeks)
LT Hyuga Seithen ------ Memory management is FUBAR (not critical)
CM Elwood the Brave - I never really knew what was wrong in the first place (critical- on leave. ETC NOW!!!)
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WE'RE NOT TOTALLY CRIPPLED.... RIGHT?
(more commonly referred to as "orders"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.
PRIORITY- WING X LEAGUE
TFRs for TC-TIE 74 are due to me by monday night. Give it your all, and we'll be able to sweep the round against Inferno. Depending on how the other matches go, we might be able to pull ahead of Tornado this week. Yaay!

PRIORITY- RECRUIT
Our squadron is looking a little bit better than before, but it's nowhere near its former strength. If you know any Star Wars nerds that have TIE Fighter, go! Draft them immediately!!! If we're going to put up anything of a fight in the wing competition over these next few weeks, we need to get some new fresh blood in here.

SECONDARY - GO UP AN FCHG RANK
Not only do you get the nice little stripes to add onto your uniform sleeves, you get an ISM for every rank past Lancer! And it looks very good on your activity reports, something which our Wing Commander wants to see. So get flying, and see if you can go up a rank before I do.
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ACTIVITY
-----------------------
CMDR/CPT Daisuke Airyu
Flew TC-TIE 114 for Wing X League
Awarded IS-SR for Wing X Trivia
Still recruiting...

FM/LCM Talon Drear
On leave

FL/CM Yutzka Serovich
Flew TC-TIE 114 for Wing X League
Flew TC-XvT 11
In constant contact
Recruiting...

FM/LT Trey Ivins
On leave

FM/LT Hyuga Seithen
In contact
Pledged to attempt to fly for Wing X League

FM/CM Elwood the Brave
CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

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ROSTER
-----------------------
TYPHOON SQUADRON: VIP Escort
NICKNAME: The Storm From Hell
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/typhoon.jpg
MOTTO: "We will fly the winds of DEATH!!"
HOMEPAGE: http://www.isdchallenge.org/typhoon
MESSAGE BOARD: http://sitepowerup.com/mb/view.asp?boardid=123799

FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER
1) CPT Daisuke Airyu (airyu@isdchallenge.org)
2) TBA
3) LCM Talon Drear (wouterson@wanadoo.nl)
4) TBA

FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
1) TBA
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA

FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
1) CM Yutzka Serovich (chris_bishop417@yahoo.com)
2) LT Trey Ivins (treyisthegame@aol.com)
3) LT Hyuga Seithen (seithen@isdchallenge.org)
4) CM Elwood the Brave (markus.friebis@gmx.de)

Captain Airyu PIN #3552
====================================================
CMDR/CPT Daisuke Airyu/Typhoon/Wing X/ISD Challenge {LGNR}
PRT Daisuke Airyu (Krath)/House Acclivis Draco of Clan Scholae Palatinae
DOC/LT Daisuke Airyu/TC-BG/ISD Challenge {DOC}
Professor of IWATS Graphics (www.imperialacademy.org/graphics)
GS/PCx2/ISMx6/LoC-PSx34/DFCx2/IS-2sr-br/MoIx3/CoB/OV {IWATS-GFX-IIC/2-M/2-SM/2-TT-ICQ-XTT-VBS}

"It really sucked, when I was in Nam. Back in those days, I was just a sperm. Floatin' around inside mah papa's nutsack.. gettin' all squished up against the walls with 80 million of mah brothers.. goin into foxholes.... i could hear the vibrations like CHARLIES IN THE TREES... damn. That sucked ass. I was a sperm in nam."

"I HAVE A PHOBIA! I JUST CAN'T F#%&ING DO THEM!!!" "Of what?" "THANK-YOU NOTES!!! AAAArgggghhh! I typed the forbidden word!!! AAAACKKK!!!!!! *shudders, squirms, and writhes on the floor in agony* IT.......... BUUUURNNNNNNSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Me and Locke discussing my deep-set physiological aversion to doing thank-you notes.