No grudge match this week, this is a lot funnier.
Captain Airyu walks into his office with a parcel under his arm. Once inside, he presses a button on the wall, causing the door to close and lock. "Nobody will ever suspect a thing," he mutters as he walks across the room and puts the box on top of his desk. Opening it deftly with a vibro-letter opener (note to self, no point in having these as all communication is done electronically) he takes out a controller, then a smallish black box that says "PLAYSTATION3000" on the side. He takes out several more wires from the package and connects the system to his desk computer. He plugs in the controller to the console, then presses a button. The top of the system slides open, revealing a slot to insert- ta-da! a small disc that was in the bottom of the package. Airyu inserts the disc, and the system closes on its own. His monitor powers up.
"Final Oxymoron 82.5, presented by CubeSoft" Airyu chooses the option, "New game"
Three women are being chased across the screen by a big, scary-looking monster. Their innocent screams of terror catch the attention of an average-looking guy nearby. The man places himself between the women and the monster, and a battle ensues. He dispatches the monsters quickly, and is thanked heartily by the women, who also ask his name. Airyu ponders for a few seconds. "Hmm.... knight in shining armor, better make him me!" He enters his name as Airyu. The game proceeds a little bit.
Airyu
A drunken man barges into the house, hair disheveled, clothes torn, etc. etc. etc, all but foaming at the mouth. Airyu is again prompted. "Ah. Crazy SOB.." Y-u-t-z-k-a.
Airyu mumbles to himself "Ya know, the best thing about this game is that you can name all the enemies and minor characters and such."
evil dictator guy..... hmm... Mani's not all that bad, but i think he has the potential to be... nah, better make it Kawolski. Ford thought so....
leader of local cell of the resistance... CoFo.....
freak of nature, produced by a horrible horrible lab accident........... Kessler
old guy in charge of resistance faction..... okay, that's Mani.
old guy's bumbling son.... hmm... *hesitates*.... I know i'm going to regret this.... Lee! ha ha, there, i did it!
A flashing light on the wall catches Airyu's attention. Looking up, he notices that there is a surveillance camera in the corner. "What the-"
The intercom on his desk beeped three times. "Captain Airyu, this is General Darklord. Report to my office at once, and bring your Playstation."
"Crap."
Twenty minutes later, Airyu returned to his quarters sulking. "Man, I knew I should've stuck with past tense in the beginning of this report.."
Meanwhile, in Darklord's office, the General was enjoying naming the various characters. "Mwa ahahha, I'm the cool main character! And this drunk guy...... let's see, I think I'll make the bumbling incoompetent son later on Airyu, so... I'll call him Mell."
MORAL: Someone... please... stop me from playing any more damn Final Fantasy games...
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FLEET NEWS
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TC.ORG DOWNTIME
CrystalTech is swapping out a faulty hard drive...
IMPERIAL STORM II START DATE ANNOUNCED
On monday! Woohoo!! The rules for this are really cool, and if you have multiplayer capacity, you should definitely put yourself at the disposal of one of the Task Force Admirals. *curses his computer for being stupid* If nothing else, at least just show up in #tiecorps during the battles, so you can support the Fleet Pilots.
NEW WING COMMANDERS
Selected for Wing XX (it's AV3, damn you people!) is COL Smitroc (i refuse to add that goofy K to the end), and for Wing VI is MAJ Jesseb Skyrauch. Gratz to both of them.
NEW BATTLES RELEASED
They're... uh.. up... yeah. Do us all a favor and go fly them, I miss the fun of having to process 20 bsfs in one day.
FCHG LISTINGS FIXED
Finally!!! Kawolski let us see where we stand compared to the other pilots... and now, we can watch ourselves rocket up through the ranks.... *cough cough*
FLIGHT OFFICE MOVES
With the closing of Emperorshammer.ca, Pri has packed up his site and moved it to www.btinternet.com/~spellfire
EH BYLAW UPDATED
Basically the same thing, except with a broader scope. Six months for CS, CA, advisor, or SGCOM, or you're back to your old rank... Way too many little Colonels running around
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CHAL NEWS
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LEE'S STRATEGY COMPETITION ABOUT TO BEGIN
Tactical maneuvers (ha! look at my god-awful american spelling of it) are due in sunday.... *sigh* and then we get to go tear everyone's throats out. Our size is working against us, so we'll have to make up for it. Remember, it's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the fight in the dog. I do not want to come in last, so everyone should give this their best efforts.
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TYPHOON HAPPENINGS
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AIRYU AWARDED GOLD STAR
My IWATS-GFX course reached 50 graduates, and I got this shiny new medal for it ^____^ everyone go take it if you haven't already, cause i get another at 100 grads :P
XEROX HAS TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
His net access seems to be gone... damn.
WOODY RETURNING SOON?
By early July at the absolute latest, he says.
COMPETITION VERSUS CYCLONE
Everyone is to fly FREE-TIE 111 for this competition, by tuesday night. Overall high scorer gets an IS-BW... so go give Hal some hell. It's important that everyone participate in this.
NEW TYPHOON SQUADRON-ONLY COMPETITION PLANNED
I shall call it... the Weekly Gauntlet. All able pilots are to fly at least 6 missions per week. These missions, however, cannot come from any other competitions we are presently running. I will take the pilot files, and, using evil black magic (read: percentages of the high scores), determine who won the week's round. At the end of the month, the pilot with the most wins gets an IS-BW. If you have any feedback, be sure to launch it at my head with due speed. If you all like it, the first round shall start in two weeks.
Awards:
Gold Star of the Empire -------> CPT Daisuke Airyu
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WAKE UP AND SMELL THE STARFIGHTER FUEL
(more commonly referred to as "orders"
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PRIORITY- BATTLEGROUPS ACE PILOT LEAGUE
I need your final TFRs for FREE-TIE 33 by tomorrow night, as the results are due sunday. Currently, I only have submissions from myself, Yutzka, and Tally. Xerox and Woody, get them in if you can overcome your technical difficulties.
PRIORITY- COMPETITION WITH CYCLONE
TFRs for FREE-TIE 111 are due by tuesday night. We have to maul them, or else ;P
PRIORITY- RECRUIT
Our squadron is looking pretty shabby right now. If you know any Star Wars nerds that have TIE Fighter, go! Draft them immediately!!! If we're going to put up anything of a fight in the wing competition over these next few weeks, we need to get some new fresh blood in here.
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ACTIVITY
-----------------------
CMDR/CPT Daisuke Airyu
Awarded GS for IWATS-GFX
Flew FREE-TIE 33 for BGAPL, TC-TIE 61
Recruiting...
FM/LCM Xeraan
CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
FM/LCM Talon Drear
Seen on IRC
Flew FREE-TIE 33 for BGAPL
FL/CM Yutzka Serovich
Reflew FREE-TIE 33 for BGAPL
In constant contact
Recruiting...
FM/CM Elwood the Brave
Flew TC-XWA 3
CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
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ROSTER
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TYPHOON SQUADRON: VIP Escort
NICKNAME: The Storm From Hell
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/typhoon.jpg
MOTTO: "We will fly the winds of DEATH!!"
HOMEPAGE: http://www.isdchallenge.org/typhoon
MESSAGE BOARD: http://sitepowerup.com/mb/view.asp?boardid=123799
FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER
1) CM Daisuke Airyu (airyu@isdchallenge.org)
2) LCM Xeraan Rhazzazor (xeraan@isdchallenge.org)
3) LCM Talon Drear (wouterson@wanadoo.nl)
4) TBA
FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
1) TBA
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA
FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
1) CM Yutzka Serovich (chris_bishop417@yahoo.com)
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) CM Elwood the Brave (markus.friebis@gmx.de)
Captain Airyu PIN #3552
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CMDR/CPT Daisuke Airyu/Typhoon/Wing X/ISD Challenge {LGNR}
DOC/LT Daisuke Airyu/TC-BG/ISD Challenge {DOC}
Professor of IWATS Graphics (www.imperialacademy.org/graphics)
GS/PCx2/ISMx6/LoC-PSx34/DFCx2/IS-SR-BR/CoB/OV {IWATS-GFX-IIC/2-M/2-SM/2-TT-ICQ-XTT-VBS}
"You think I'm some freak?" "No..." "A man in his early 20's with a red bathrobe belt tied around his head at 11 AM at night?!" "I don't think you are... I know it." Yutzka and me, commenting on his Dance Dance Revolution playing habits.