Ford: Erm?
Life: Ford! Your time has come!
Ford: What? No! I don't want a life! Go away!
Life: Irrelevant! You will have a life! Come!
Ford: No!
Life pulls out a large stick and advances towards Ford.
Ford: Augh! Away, foul demon! Away!
Life continues to advance, brandishing the stick threateningly.
Ford: Ack! Desist! Cease thy vile eff-
Ford is bludgeoned repeatedly by Life with the large stick, sedated, then dragged away. :::
...
::: days later, Ford wakes up, back in his room, having endured the horror that is having a life :::
Ugh.
-Squadron News-
- Ford's been a bit busy ever since the week began. See above for details :-P
- If your best friend asks you to help him set up equipment for a mutual friend, who's recording an album, excuse yourself, saying you have to wax your pet llama, lest you end up spending the next two days in a dark room with horrible acoustics and utterly inadequate equipment, dealing with prima donnas and attempting to make some semblance of a good sound mix whilst recording a CD.
- The Wing II - Wing V deadline passed a few days ago, Psi's results:
TC-64:
FL/LCM Sidian/Psi 2-1:
Mission 1: 75961
Mission 2: 86040
Mission 3: 62749
Mission 4: 48850
Mission 5: 31599
Mission 6: 133733
Total: 438,932
Lasers: 10163 - 10968 (93%)
Warheads: 52 - 58 (90%)
Laserless Total: 408,443
FM/LCM Nurel Turr/Psi 2-2:
Lasers: 4,636 / 5,532 (84%)
Missiles: 224 / 279 (80%)
Scores:
Total: 93,133
Laserless total: 79,225
Mission 1 - 4,067
Mission 2 - 3,752
Mission 3 - 3,374
Mission 4 - 14,990
Mission 5 - 1,614
Mission 6 - 65,336
CMDR/LC Ford Prefect/Psi 1-1:
Mission 1: 29,108
Mission 2: 58,514
Mission 3: 77,348
Mission 4: 56,474
Mission 5: 41,376
Mission 6: 138,859
Total: 401,679
Lasers: 4039 - 4849 (83%)
Warheads: 26 - 26 (100%)
Laserless Total: 389,562
Squadron Laserless Total: 877,230
Squadron Laserless Average: 292,410
TC-65:
FL/LCM Sidian/Psi 2-1:
Lasers: 8,194 / 8,745
Missiles: 38 / 38
Scores:
Total: 196,804
Laserless Total: 172,222
Mission 1 - 53,498
Mission 2 - 52,741
Mission 3 - 26,759
Mission 4 - 27,981
Mission 5 - 35,825
FM/LCM Nurel Turr/Psi 2-2:
Lasers: 3,991 / 4,493
Missiles: 80 / 87
Scores:
Total: 13,482
Laserless Total: 1,509
Mission 1 - 2,865
Mission 2 - 2,043
Mission 3 - 2,512
Mission 4 - 3,322
Mission 5 - 2,740
CMDR/LC Ford Prefect/Psi 1-1:
Mission 1: 52,760
Mission 2: 33,431
Mission 3: 33,358
Mission 4: 31,119
Mission 5: 42,295
Total: 192,963
Lasers: 5226 - 5788
Warheads: 16 - 16
Laserless Total: 177,285
Squadron Laserless Total: 362,989
Overall Laserless Total: 1,240,219
Noticeably missing from this tally were submissions from LT Macharius and CM Jon Doyle.
Full results from the competition, including the winner, can be found further down in the report (Wing News section)
- In related news, both SL Jedak Khar and LT Macharius edge closer to AWOLing. Still no e-mail from either of them.
- LCM Nurel Turr has submitted a combine of all his TC stories to the EH NL...there's a few familiars in there, and several works Psi has yet to see - check it out! The file is attached.
- Survivor names Tina the winner, proving that the cool people never win. Geez, anyone who brings a 40-foot Texas flag anywhere, much less international television, deserves to win :-P All those who think Elisabeth is unbelievably hot, get Ford her phone number and bump off her fiance.
- Quote of the Day:
CM Jon Doyle: a Light Colonel is a colonel that has lost all feeling in his legs...
Thereby disolving his colon, this means he can be called a colonel without
offending him. He is now light headed, footed and light of a colon So a
light colonel :p
- The Psi Squadron website is technically updated! Yah! Unfortunately, squadron.org is down, so you'll have to wait for the updated goodness as soon as Ford re-registers for his FTP account with AbK.
- Aside from the usual Training / Help MB presence by various Psi members, no news to report on the recruitment front...
-Wing News-
- Yeah, uh, we beat Wing V, or something like that. As the full tally is a bit lengthy to report here, you'll find the complete rundown attached to the Briefing. In short, here's the important numbers :P4
44 out of 88--50% participation
Wing Total--11,032,416
> WING V SUMMARY (26/100 possible tfrs - 26
> percent participation)
> Laserless total - 4,243,331
You'll note that, though we had a little less than twice Wing V's participation rate, we had almost three times their score. Hurrah, Wing II! Do the happy we-beat-another-wing dance!
- The Wing II: Vanguard competition, run by MAJ Stele Pellaeon, nears it's deadline for the first phase! Check it out here: uh...
::: Ford spends fifteen minutes searching for the URL :::
Any help? :-P
- Inky's on leave, we're all in the vile clutches of Doc Astarosta. Ford would advise everyone to make out their last wills and testaments post-haste.
- HellFyre's back in #airlock54, the Wing II IRC channel! Hurrah for CM Jon, and kudos to his work in resurrecting the bot.
-Squadron Orders-
- Recruit!
- Actually, there's nothing else planned at the moment. Ford still wants to hold off on competitions until we get six fully active members, so make recruiting your primary target!
-Squadron Activity-
CMDR/LC Ford Prefect:
4.27.01 - Completes TC-65
4.28.01 - Goes on Shore Leave
4.30.01 - Returns from Shore Leave
5.3.01 - Updates Psi homepage
FM/LT Solaris Macharius:
No Activity
---
FL/LCM Sidian:
4.29.01 - Completes TC-TIE 7
4.29.01 - Completes TC-TIE 9
4.29.01 - Completes TC-TIE 11
5.3.01 - Changes e-mail to lcmsidian@earthlink.net
FM/LCM Nurel Turr:
4.28.01 - Completes TC-65
5.2.01 - Completes TC-XWA 2
---
FL/CM Jon Doyle:
No Activity
FM/SL Jedak Khar:
No Activity
-Misc. / Fleet News-
- Ford missed the Mavericks complete an 11-point comeback to beatdown those Utah Jazz foo's to write this report. You should feel speshul :P
- MAJ Lohr Zadash has been appointed the new Wing IX WC.
- MAJ Azazel has been appointed the new Wing XIII WC.
- Star Wars: Battle for Naboo sucks. Thus sayeth His Astatinelyness :P
- You can now put Counter-Strike on the official list of games you own on the TC.org personnel profile list..
- IWATS XvT Tactics is on-line. http://www.imperialacademy.org/xvttactics/
- Executive Order #3: All name changes now have to go through the XO. /me notes his chances of changing his name back to Lord Twinkalicious vanishing rapidly.
- The lovable, huggable SCO/FA Kermee has resigned from his post. Sniffle. No replacement has been appointed yet.
- Be on the look-out for a Sov-wide 'Top Gun' competition! (Gasp...something useful from the FMC? *And* an updated Psi webpage? Hey! Is that a black horse spewing balls of fire?)
All for this week. Go hug a kid with greasy hair.
CMDR-PROF/LC Ford Prefect/Psi/Wing II/SSSD Sovereign
[ISMx19][PCx3][BS][SS][GS][OV][MOC - SoCx9-BoCx4-PoCx5-GoCx2][CoB][CoLx2][GALL][LoAx2][IWATS-SM 1/2-IIC-1/2-mIRC 1/2-CBX-VBS-ICQ-RT]
[EDE]
Professor of TIE Tactics (www.imperialacademy.org/tietactics)