Pilots of Koph Squadron:

Yow.. AWOLs. I just submitted the requests to remove LT Place and LT
Sunrider from the squadron. Sorry guys, it's been fun.

Since we are going to be down to four pilots shortly, we lose all of
our squadron citations. The highest priority now is to recruit at
least two more pilots! I don't care where they come from, so long as
they have a copy of TIE Fighter and like to fly, because we're going
to be doing a bit of that in the near future.

In the happier news, we beat down the rest of the wing again, with the
SCEs. I look forward to next time, when we can boost our percentage
even more... bwahaha :)

Disclaimer: Firebird is not -actually- on crack.

Just thought I'd clear that up. Moving right along...

You all got a new FREE-TIE that LC Iceman created. I'd like to see
that flown and reviewed by everyone (myself included). Send mail to
the list, folks. If you're alive and you know it, fly yer TIE? *ducks*

As you can probably tell, my organizational skills are lacking at the
moment. I usually keep very copious notes about what all of you are
doing and when, and that makes it very simple to write these squadron
reports. I just have to write something witty, and the important parts
speak for themselves in the ATRs. Well, since I was busy being A:WC
and running the SCEs, my notes are in a horrible disarray, and I'm not
sure I have everyone's activities up to date this week. Please do
check over them and verify that I am not missing anything.

I expect to have everything back in order by this time next week at
the latest.

Now, relevant to the comment about crack, I have devised yet another
brand new competition for you fine folks to participate in. I hereby
dub it: The Koph Squadron Timbal Twister Tournament!

For anyone who doesn't know what a Timbal Twister is, it is a drink
mixed exclusively by our very own LC Timbal, who recently defected to
the ISD Intrepid (lamer!). These things are made partially with vodka,
and mostly with other things which cannot be mentioned here.
Ingredients aside, these drinks melt through the glasses he mixes them
in within several seconds, and just about anything else within
minutes. If you recall, I used a Timbal Special to disintigrate the
door to LC Joe's office during the recent ewok attack. The Special is
a slightly more potent form of the same drink.

Now, since you have the appropriate background, let's get to the
competition part. Your task is to tell the rest of the squadron about
your most amusing, frightening, or near death experience with a Timbal
Twister!

To get your creative juices flowing, here is the relevant snippet from
the ewok attack:

"I happened to be walking past his office as it happened, carrying a
Timbal Special from the cantina. Hearing the noise, I tried the door
to see what was amiss. When the door refused to open, I splashed the
Special on it, and as my drink ate a hole through the door I could see
the ensuing battle through the hole. I watched helplessly as masses of
ewoks were charred by lightning as Joe tried to defend himself, but
after only a few seconds Joe was completely buried in dead ewoks, and
the room was beginning to fill with foam from their rabid mouths."

These can be long or short, serious or funny, but I'd like to hear
back from all four of you by May 9th, in time for Squadron Report #36.

I'll send the submissions to LC Joe, LC Timbal, and COL Brian for judging >:)

For all you Dark Jedi out there, here's a great site to get you
started using your evil powers: http://www.darksites.com/souls/horror/evilguide/index.html

Finally, the Koph Ace of the Week goes to LC Iceman for the FREE-TIE
and the recruiting he's done recently, as well as for kicking me when I was trying to slack off this week :P