Welcome to another episode of the DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGER REPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!
With your host Major Dan Seth "Instigator" Malaktos!
::Sappy music::
Bill>Say your line doofus!
Bob>Whoops!
Erm... Welcome to OFFICER JEOPARDY! With your host Major Dan Seth "Instigator" Malaktos!
::Dan walks out to a Jeopardy-like set and walks to a podium, signing his name. Briefly afterwards, the word "Slitbag" appears on the monitor. Dan looks embarrassed, erases the nickname, and signs Dan Malaktos::
Ahh, that's better. Well, today marks the first Officer Jeopardy. Let's introduce our guests.
::A deep voice says the following as the contestents walk to their podiums. As each one is introduced, a spotline shines, revealing them::
He hails all the way from a gutter in the Lounge. He's 5'11, and sometimes attempts to speak. He's... Rear Admiral Talin Andronicus!
Next, we have someone who snuck in and threatened my life! Major Lohr Zadash!
And finally, we have... HEY! GET HIM AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! Erm... General Valtane Gavryn Ricaud!
Dan>Welcome to Officer Jeopardy, folks. The categories are...
1. Four letter words...
2. Dick Better Resign... That's about past events, like Richard Nixon... Better skip that one.
3. Drinks that rhyme with "Fliskey..."
4. The letter 'X...'
5. The Current Year...
6. Planets...
and...
7. Don't step in this!
Seeing as my job's on the line, General, you have control o fthe board.
Ricaud>I'll take 48 thousand dollars worth of "Dick Betterers."
Dan>What?
Ricaud>Do they work?
Dan>Excuse me? That's "Dick Better Resign!"
Ricaud>It doesn't matter what you call it! Does it work? I've tried the others, and if yours works, I'll buy a dozen!
Lohr>You're selling "Dick Betterers?"
Dan>NO!
Ricaud>You know how much money you could be getting if you did? Alot.
Dan>I'll pick the category. Let's try "The Current Year" for $1000. Now remember, the answer will always be the CURRENT YEAR. After the question, buzz in and tell me what year it is NOW! When I'm done talking, say the year. The answer is... "This is the year we will be in until next year"
::Andron buzzes in::
Dan>Rear Admiral?
Andron>7!
Dan>No.
Andron>What is 7?
Dan>No!
::Ricaud buzzes in::
Dan>General?
Ricaud>What is 2000?
Dan>NO! It's January!
Ricaud>So it's a trick question?
::Lohr starts snickering::
Dan>What is it, Mr. Zadash?
::Lohr's podium reads "Buck Futter"::
Dan>You must be proud.
Lohr>It's a funny name.
Dan>No, it's not. Andron, you have control of the board.
Andron>Well, seeing as this is Jeopardy and there are one... two... three... four... five... six... seven... ah, seven categories, I think I'll choose...
Dan>Drinks that rhyme with "Fliskey" for $300! Excellent choice! The Answer: "This drink is sold at Star Drifter Lounge."
::Lohr buzzes in::
Dan>Mr. Zadash?
Lohr>That's not my name.
Dan>... Buck Futter?
Lohr>What is Beer?
Dan>No, it has to rhyme with--
Ricaud>No, they sell beer at the lounge.
Dan>That doesn't matter! The category is "Drinks that rhyme with Fliskey!"
Andron>Ric's right. They sell beer.
Dan>You people are nuts! "Don't step in this" for $400! The Answer: "It rhymes with "Flog flit, and is brown and yucky."
::Andron buzzes in::
Andron>What is Ricaud?
::Ricaud changes Andron's podium to read "I am stupid"::
Dan>Let's just move onto the Final Jeopardy, shall we? The category is... "Battle Strategies of the late Grand Moff Tarkin." Wait... nevermind. That's too hard for you. How about this. Everyone write down the current Commodore of the Relentless. ::Music starts:: Yes... the current Commodore... he's a contestent today.... ::Music stops:: Alright. Let's see. Mr. Andronicus? ::Board reveals "VA Kawolski":: Vice Admiral Kawolski... who was Commodore three years ago. And you wagered? ...OK, that's censored. Mr. Futter? ::Board reveals a blank screen:: Nothing. Your wager? Rear Admiral Andronicus. I'm sorry, we can't accept that. General Ricaud? ::Board revels the words "Go away Dan.":: ... what was your wager? ::Board says "My ****":: Ok... forget that. Well, good night. Thanks to these idiots, your money is safe.
EH NEWS:
NAV COM! VA Goatham!
TAC! StarLion!
WING NEWS:
WC's Own.. more later!
Quote of the week:
* Ricaud remembers reading the books, and sniggering whenever it had things like ... "I say!" Biggles ejaculated loudly.
VA_Jarak> Isn't ass a great word? ASS! AsS! aSS! Ass! Asshole! Assbite! Dumbass! Fatass! AAAAAAAAAASSSSS!
SQUADRON NEWS:
Ok, we didn't win the WC's Own :P Fear not. Just a bump in the road. More to come.
SQUADRON STATUS:
It seems we have two missing people. Rejili and Akagi, report in.
XO Report
Seems the comp has ended. We got a good chance of winning, I think. Possible Tornado rematch soon. My computer will be done being upgraded by Tues, but I did manage to get in 141. For those of you who have not reported in yet (two of which are in my flight, hint, hint) do so immediately if you have not as of yet. I suppose thats it, then.
FL/LCM Manticore/Dagger 2-1/Wing IX/ISD Relentless
ISMx3 [HUSS] {IWATS-M/1}
[A/GUN Honorless]
PERSONAL ACHIEVMENTS:
There's been a crisis in my house :P Expect these next week :P
Major D. S. "Instigator" Malaktos
@======{---}=======[---]============>->->->
CMDR-SR-CVROY/MAJ Dan Malaktos/Dagger/Wing IX/ISD Relentless
CVROY-WC/MAJ Dan Malaktos/Wing I/DREAD Tranquillity
BS/PCx2/ISMx6/MoI/MoT-4gh/LoCx8/CoS/LoA/OV-3E
[GALL] {IWATS-Core IIC/1/2 mIRC/1/2 RT SM/2 TM GFX}
[T/D Hand of the Apocalypse]
[E/S Orion's Belt]
--==(*)Chief Viceroy(*)==--
{PIN 4197}
"Join the Relentless! It makes your hometown better!"