~Tornado Squadron Weekly Report #44~ - 15th
December 2002~
Disclaimer:This is a mature report. If you don't find any offensive, defamatory or vaguely sexual material please let us know and we'll put some in immediately.
***~CMDR's Rant~***
This rant is proudly brought to you by, FREE-TIE 212.Everyone is getting to soft!!!!
We get ordered to fly a mission where you fly a TIE Interceptor and everyone complains about no shields. You do remember what they are don't you??? You remember those ships without Beam weapons?? Without Advanced or Heavy Warheads???? Most of the time no warheads???
You know, the ship without shields???
*The old timers get a few glimpses of ships almost long forgotten*
Everyone has gotten too soft, a good pilot in a TIE Interceptor can take out a T/D, its a bit harder when it comes to capital ships as you can imagine, but lower class ones such as Corvettes are quite simple to destroy!!!!
T/I's and even T/F's are fast and maneuverable, you can take out any Rebel and most Imperial Fighters, so get back to basics and re-fly TIE, and see how long you last, bet you wont pass the first mission.
*** ~Squadron News~***
*Tornado: Tour of Supremacy - The Return!*Next Target - TBA
Start Date - TBA
Current Count - 7 - 3
Currently on hold while the Wing X league is running, and until we all get up to standard and active.
*Exercise Cantina Run - "History of the Battlegroups"*
Submissions are in from the flying part, i was the only Tornado Pilot to fly, good to see you all want your ship to win its first ECR in several years.
*Tornado Squadron "Almanac"*
Phase I - Rosters *Complete*
Phase II - Fiction & Graphics *Underway*
Phase III - Pilot History * Underway*
You are all ordered to update your uniforms and INPR's, once you have done so please e-mail me telling me, as i don't get notified.
*Squadron Standing Orders.*
Fly a FREE Mission/Battle (Any Platform)
Write a Fiction.
Create a Graphic.
Take an IWATS Course.
Other Activity will be decided on as it occurs such as Website work, Flash work, Mission Creation etc, BUT i must be told and proof must be given! And your FL must be CC'd.
Remember you have to do at least one of them a week!!!!!
*Citations*
http://www.isdchallenge.org/tornado/citations.zip
Updated.
*Tornado Webpage - Version 2.0*
During the week, Klaus has come to me asking about creating a new webpage. So stay tuned for the new version, as you can imagine this isn't an easy task, so it will take a little time. Ill give you more info as i get it.
*Awards*
Ramos ---> ISM
Klaus ----> PC
Klaus ----> CoB
Congrats to both of you.
*Roster changes*
Crix has asked to return to the Reserves, its a shame since he was one of my more active pilots :/
Come back to us soon Crix.
*Master's Radio Commentary*
Announcer: Welcome, tonight we have a spacial story, MAJ Master the demigod Commander of Tornado Squadron has asked us to record this small radio commentary which will clean up any rumors on the destruction of the Challenge's Cantina for the 38th time in the last year, enjoy.
Master: Id just like to set the record straight by saying Tornado Squadron had nothing to do with the destruction of the Cantina after the announcement of the SotM and Savage's POTM Award. We congratulate the winners, and are happy for them, however we would like them to know that their victory is short lived, we are coming and will destroy them!!!!
*Gets wacked with a bat by Seph*......
I mean....good job to them all and i hope they enjoy their awards as they totally deserved it....and their days are numbered...
*WACK*
OWWW! Enjoy your time in the spotlight guys...it will be short lived
*SMACK*
I call abuse!!!!
*SMACK, WACK, WOLLOP, THUMP*
The mic goes dead.
Announcer: We are grateful for Master's time, we know he is busy, and we hope that puts all your questions at rest, now stay tuned for more of todays hottest music, on EHRadio.
***~Squadron Orders~***
~Fly for the Wing X League~~Complete INPR and Uniform~
~Fly for Citations~
~IWATS - See what life is like After IWATS~
***~Wing/BG News~***
~Wing X League~Current mission was FREE-TIE #212, I was the only one who submitted.
Congrats to Badlan and Mell who both got CMDR jobs :)
***~Fleet News~***
Mailer seems to be working again.http://www.emperorshammer.net/news.asp
http://www.emperorshammer.org/news.htm
***~From the Vault~***
Hidden deep somewhere in the Challenge is a giant safe hidden from
everyone's eyes, inside are detailed files on the EH Command staff (and
other staff) and what can be used as discriminating evidence, as well as
lots of information and Kessler's private pic's of several cadets (YUCK).
Only few know of the Vaults existence even fewer have the combination to
get in, Master is lucky enough to know it, so for you heres a small
snipit of infoNever Argue with a Woman
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and
continues to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies (thinking "isn't that obvious?").
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and
write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
***~The Usual Suspects~***
MAJ Master12/9 Flew TIE-TC Battle 5 - Pirate Uprising
12/14 Flew TIE-FREE #119 - Snake Eyes (4,840)
12/? TAC Office work
LCM Sint Seelasi
Nothing
COL Ramos Kanzco
Nothing
LT Klaus Xanthius
12/12 Passed IWATS mIRC 2 Course (80%)
12/12 Started work on new Tornado Webpage
CPT Crix Madine
12/14 Requested to leave :(
CM Arion Sunrider
Nothing
*** ~Challenge Most Wanted~***
TORNADO SQUADRON OF WING X : StrikeCOMMANDER: MAJ Master (slavelet@iinet.net.au)
NICKNAME: DeathWind
BANNER: tornado.gif
MOTTO: Before Glory, Loyalty...Before Pride, Honor...Before Self, the Empire.
HOMEPAGE: http://www.isdchallenge.org/tornado/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.emperorshammer.net/mb/view.asp?b=39
FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Master's Minions
Motto: Fighter Pilots make movies... Bomber Pilots make History
1) MAJ Master (slavelet@iinet.net.au)
2) LCM Sint Seelasi (sints@interia.pl)
3) TBA
4) COL Ramos Kanzco (ramos@isdchallenge.org)
FLIGHT II - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Nil Satis Nici Optimum
Motto: We have fought 1000 wars and we'll fight 1000 more for we fight the good fight
1) TBA
2) TBA
3) LT Klaus Xanthius (eh_outsider@yahoo.com)
4) TBA
FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: The High Priests of Love
Motto: We're the Love Commandos and this is a Raid!
1) TBA
2) CPT Crix Madine (crixmadine@comcast.net)
3) CM Arion Sunrider (sithscholar@yahoo.com)
4) TBA
Citations: 21 (Up from last week)
FCHG Average: 258
Combat Rating Average: 16
***~Dark Lord of the Week~***
The highly prestigious title of Dark Lord of the Week is only given to
the person who has most advanced the success of the Squadron, amused the
CMDR, or slipped me the most £5 notes in a brown paper bag. This week's
winner is:Klaus for his webpage idea. (Looks good so far btw)
***~Ewok of the Week~***
Yub Yub!Every story has a hero, every journey has a first step, every Fleet has a pilot who's about as much use as an ashtray on a speeder bike. This weeks's Prize Ewok is none other than:
Crix for leaving :(
***~Quote of the Week~***
*** RogueWing Quit (Quit: For Christmas, I want Santa to send me a list
of all the naughty girls that live in my area.)~Dont we all ;)
*** ^pilotboy^ has quit IRC (Exit: Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.)
~Need i say more
***~Site of the Week~***
http://www.minos.net/~coho/typhoon/New Typhoon Site
Major Master
Tornado Squadron Commander - ISD Challenge
IWATS Professor - Rebellion Tactics
TAC Office - Crash Test Dummy
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CMDR-TCS-PROF/MAJ Master/Tornado/Wing X/ISD Challenge
SS/BS/PCx5/ISMx11/MoT-1rh-1gh-1bh/IS-7BW-1SW-1SR-1PR/LoC-ISx14/DFC/CoL/CoB/LoAx5/OV [LGNR] {IWATS-AIM-CBX-FLA-GFX-ICQ-M/1/2-RT-SM/2-TM-TT-XAM-XTM/1/2-XTT}