Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet
TIE Corps
Vortex Squadron Report #5
Friday, 10th June 2005
CPT Keiran Laserlight reporting:
Keiran's stories
Transfers, eh?
-1-
Platform Daedalus, Training Center of the TIE Corps
Cadet Illesial was just entering his training capsule. A little smaller than an usuall EH Flight Simulator, the capsule, was designed to learn a wanna-be-a-pilot the basics of flight, familiaraze with flightsuit and all the Cadet stuff you probably remember. Illesial wasn't a ussuall CT thought. His skills were high even before joining the Emperor's Hammers cause. But the training was compulsoraly. And boring. Illesial just sit down into it, pushed all the required butons and waited for the other Cadets to follow. Unfortunately there were those two new CTs who have never seen such a complicated device as the training chamber. Illesial had some time for himself then. He closed his eyes and...
Frigate Phoenix, TIE Corps Reserves
Captain Adam Szydlowski was sitting in his chambers. AH! An easy life of a reservist! All these Twi'lek slaves and all-day cantinas. Life of a God you'd say. Speaking of cantina - CPT Szydlowski was thirsty. He could stand up, open the door and take a few steps using the right corridor to enter the turbolift #21 and head to the nearest bar. He could. And probably he would. But unfortunately his FRG Phoenix room entered the Twilight Zone where ussual things don't happen very often...
Impeiral Star Destroyer Mk.II "Grey Wolf", ASF Flagship
Major Keiran was just entering his fighter. The mission wasn't going to be hard. Simple convoy escort mission deep in the EH Territories. A quick flight and he will be back aboard. Major Keiran fastened his safety belts and checked his Flight status. All pilots were ready. He asked for permision to launch, after a second he reply came in. A minute later four Missile Boats in Line formation left the Hangar Bay and headed for Hyperspace Bouy. Finally in space. Major Keiran ordered his pilots to prepeare to jump. 5..4..3..2..1.. The lever was pulled and the stars changed into...
-2-
Somewhere
CT Illesial woke up in a dark room. After several seconds he spotted the switch and turn the light on. The room was completly empty and somehow black and white only so he left it. The sight beyond the door was outstanding. It was a Civic Center of some kind off village. Everything colorful and happy. Illesial looked around confused. "I have a feeling I am not on Daedalus anymore" he grined. After a second he realised he is not alone - there were some kind of small people in the bushes and one of them was approching. He was wearing... wel he was all furry and small.
"I am Frodo of the Halflings! Please spare me and my people oh mighty wizard! "
"I am not a wizard! I am CT Illesial of the..."
"All I wanna know is why you killed our friend and protector, the good witch of North?!" - Frodo said pointing a pair of legs hanging out of a wall.
"Bah...Rebel scum." - Illesial said. He took a look at the corpse and spotted a pair of red slippers. He took them with himself. As he predicted - there was a Rebel symbol on each. - "Whare am I?" - he asked, looking an the Frodo with the evil gaze.
"It's the TACLand, the district of Corps" - Frodo said proudly
"Right." - Illesial replied - "Who's in charge here?" - Illesial was hearing scared whispers in the bushes.
"The Wonderful Wiard of Corps. But beware. He is even more powerful than the witch you defeated" - Frodo said and fled
"How I am going to find him!?" - Illesial shouted angry
"Follow the kinky, pink road." - a whisper appeared
"Follow the kinky, pink road." - a silent voice said
"Follow the kinky, pink road." - somebody said aloud
"OK I'll follow the kinky, pink road. Now shut up!" - Illesial shouted. But it was too late. A song appeared as Illesial started to run away using the kinky pink road.Follow the kinky, pink road.
"Follow the kinky, pink road.
Follow the kinky, pink road!
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps
He'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Corps
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps!"
-3-
Illesial stopped running away from the evil Hobbits when he ecountered a crosroads. Fortunately another confused Imperial Officer was around. MAJ Keiran woke up in a pile of hay. "I have a feeling I am not in hyperspace anymore" he grined. But after looking around a smile appeared on his face. This land wasn't so bad. No starships, fighters and other Keiran's. A Heaven you'd say. When Keiran spotted Cadet Illesial a quick conversation began.
"So! What are you looking for?" - MAJ Keiran asked
"It appears that the leader of this land. It's a guy named "The Wonderful Wizard of Corps". We need to find him to get out." - CT Illesial replied
"Get out? It's cool here!"
"Sir, I don't think so. I've liberated the locals from Rebel presence. We need to fight! It's Imperial's life target!"
"Bah... All I want is a mug of free beer."
"If The Wonderful Wizard of Corps makes wishes as heard, you may ask him for one."
"Great, where to look?"
"We need to follow this kinky pink road"
THE ANNOYING SONG APPEARED FROM NOWHERE
"Follow the kinky, pink road.
Follow the kinky, pink road!
You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Corps
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps!"
"OK. Let's go!" - MAJ Keiran said stunned
"Well there are two possible directions"
"Flip a coin"
"Heads"
"Left"
They went.
-4-
In the forest they've met another guy wearing an Uniform. CPT Szydlowski moved towards them from behind the trees. He fell down and hit he pink brick with his hear. Fortunately he wasn't hurt. He seemed a bit confused about the road though. "I have a feeling I am not on Phoenix anymore" he grined. He looked at Keiran and Illesial with an asking gaze. He seemed to be hungry and thirsty. Also he needed a bath. Certainly needed one.
"Where are we gentlemen?" Szydlowki asked carefully
"It's the land of Corps and we are heading for The Wonderful Wizard of Corps. He is making wishes so if you wish to have a bath or smtg go with us" - MAJ Keiran cut the chatter to the one sentence. The time was of the essence
"Where is he, then?"
"We must fol...erm..." - CT Illesial pointed at the road and used his fingers to simulate a moving man.
"You say that we should follow the kinky pink road?" - CPT Szydlowski guessed
THE SONG APPEARED AGAIN
"Follow the kinky, pink road.
Follow the kinky, pink road!
You're off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps
You'll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever oh ever a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Corps
Is one because
Because, because, because, because,
because...
Because of the wonderful things he does....
He is off to see the Wizard
The Wonderful Wizard of Corps!"
"STOP that!" Captain shouted to the invisible voice
"They can't. And we should go now"
-5-
Our three heroes had many adventures which will be the topic of the next Timothy Zahn and Michael Stackpole novels. We refer them as the Expanded Unicorpsverse.
-6-
Finally they've reached The Wonderful Wizard of Corps's Office.
"I am Cyric! The Wonderful Wizard of Corps!" The Wonderful Wizard of Corps said. "I know why are you here! But to be sure tell that again!"
"I want some free beer!" MAJ Keiran said
"I want a warm bath and some food!" CPT Adam Szydlowski said
"I want to fight for the Empire!" CT Illesial said
"Allright then! All you're wishes can be fullfilled.." Cyric said
"YEAH" - the trio shouted
"...after you'll complete one ver simple little quest for me."
":/" - the trio replied
"What is this quest" - MAJ Keiran asked
"Well ther are three stages. First, there is that Mountain of Doom beyond the Halls of Chaos at the Never Ending River. At the top there is ye Olde Sin Factory which produces Flying Potatoes. You'll bring me the one with the longest roots. after that there is that Frozen Lake of Destiny beyond the woods of Destruction. It's been a home of a Gold Dragon tribe, one of the last in the Corps. Slay the boos and bring me his beating heart in a box made of his scales. Finally that there is the Canyon of Death which was invaded by the evil lich king and his army of ghouls, Well you must find a female lich actually and persuade her to marry the king. Bring me the video tape of the reception party. Don't hurry. You've got 72 hours to finish the quest cause I am leaving for vacation."
"We should better go." - CPT Szydlowski said
"Would you accept these red slippers instead?" CT Illesial asked with a bit of hope
"Yeah, why not." Cyric took the slippers and used the Magic Wand of Roster Changes
THE END
From the desk of the CMDR
We all know how did the story end ;). MAJ Keiran
is in the Reserves drinking well deserved RSV beer and CPT Szydlowski
and LT Illesial are here with us where bathing tube and freedom fight
are availible everyday. Give a warm welcome to Illesial. He is a fine
pilot of MP. Something what this squadron badly needed. A slow week
from me as the Squadron Commander. I really found myself as real
abandonware fan. What I found this week is Frointier:First Encounters,
Lemmings, Simon the Sorcerer and Ultima 4. I'll take another slower
week this time. then I am back to my XWA. (Hey! Everybody need
vacation!)
What's up?
- Fleet
1. ,
(COMMA) found. It's Kodiak. No way. Happy COMMAing Koddes.
2. Tactical Mission Creation and Beta Standards IWATS Course around.
Happens to have the lonsest name.
4. Yoda reports out some important medal details from month of May. Read it out on main TC site.
5. Combat Operations Officer chosen. It's Rear Admiral Scoser
6. In Freeworlds the evil New Republic will attack the Sith Order on Sunday. FW piots to your machines!
ASF/Ship/Wing
1. New Phoenix Squadron Commander is CM Danniel
Russel. Met him already. Nice guy :P
2. Recruiting campaign started to rise our numbers. Got any friends? Recruit them. ;)
3. MSE's are done and hopefully we'll get our
goodies soon.
4. Some or the ship's competitions ended. LC Kodiak Kereban won the
second plac in the FCHG race with me coming first. I've also won the
monthly GFX "Wing Commander's New Clothes" competition. Anyway it was a stunning month for Vortex
Squadron.
Squad
1. A new member arrived in. Welcome to
Lieutanant Illesial. He seemes to be a MP ace. Well see soon. He made
his way to LT through making MP course.
2. Squadron Message Board http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=96
3. Squadron Website http://vortexsquadron.minos.net/ It wasn't updated lately. I must do it if I find some time.
4. We've got communications and IRC activity
from all around the squadron. I am proud of you boys!
5. As of the activity: It's VERY, VERY high! I
got my FREEs processed, BSFs from LT Feco are which made him earn the
Commendation of Bravery, an IWATS from Illesial and more spam on the MB
and a fiction by Quat'r Zax :)
6. Two Squadron-wide competitions are running. Check them out at once.
7. We have lost over 140 Citations due to Illesial's joining.
Don't worry - we will re earn them someday ;)!
Contacts & Activities
CMDR/CPT Keiran Laserlight, Vortex Leader
e-mail activities, IRC presence,
Messageboards posts, CMDR stuff
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 6
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 7
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 8
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 9
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 10
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 11
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 12
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 13
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 14
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 16
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 17
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 18
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 19
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 20
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 21
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 22
6/3/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 23
6/3/2005 Submitted the Vortex Squadron to the rescue! competition
6/3/2005 Received an Iron Star - Silver Ribbon for 1st place in New Wing Commander's Clothes
6/3/2005 Received
an Iron Star - Silver Wings for 1st place in Wolfpack FCHG Race May 2005
6/3/2005
Received an Iron Star - Silver Ribbon for 1st place in Wolfpack GFX
6/4/2005
Completed XWA-FREE 119 (Operation:Virgin submission)
(Mision High Score)
.
FM/LT Thomace, Vortex Two
IRC presence.
FM/CPT Adam Szydlowski, Vortex Three
e-mail contact
FM/LT Quat'r Zax, Vortex Seven
Heavy MB activity. Also
in contact by e-mail and IRC
6/7/2005 Submitted the fiction for Vortex Squadron to
the rescue! competition
FL/LT Feco, Vortex Nine
e-mail and MB contact. Technical problems with XvT. I am on case.
6/8/2005
Completed TIE-FREE 256 (Operation:Virgin submision)
6/8/2005
Completed TIE-TC 3
6/8/2005
Completed TIE-TC 7
6/10/2005 Received the
Commendation of Bravery
6/6/10
FM/LC Kodiak Kereban, Vortex Ten
In contact. E-mail, MB and IRC. Runs
Trivia after the EH & TC meetings.
6/3/2005 Received an Iron
Star - Bronze Wings for 2nd place in Wolfpack FCHG Race May 2005
FM/LT Illesial, Vortex Eleven
IRC contact.
6/7/2005 Joined
the Vortex from Daedalus
6/7/2005 Promoted to Sub-Lieutenant (SL)
6/10/2005 Passed the
Multiplayer IWATS Course (100%)
6/10/2005 Promoted
to Lieutenant (LT)
Summary:
5 on IRC
1 on MB
1 in e-mail contact
0 out of
contact
0 leaving
21 BSF
1 HS
1 IWATS
0 MP
0 GFX
1 Fiction
*** You should know that I really prefer IRC activity - as a primary source of contact. The IRC is a shareware program - everybody can get it to try. Click the link www.mirc.com to find more. E-mail and messageboards are basic. IRC is really what's you should get!
Promos/Medals/Transfers
Cadet Illesial was promoted to Sub-Lieutenant
Sub-Lieutenant
Illesial was promoted to Lieutenant
Captain Keiran
Laserlight received an Iron
Star - Silver Wings for the 1st place in Wolfpack FCHG race May
2005
Lieutenant Colonel Kodiak Keraban received an Iron Star - Bronze Wings for the 2nd
place in Wolfpack FCHG race May 2005
Captain
Keiran Laserlight received an Iron
Star - Silver Ribbon for the 1st place in Wing Commander's
New Clothes competition
Captain
Keiran Laserlight received an Iron
Star - Silver Ribbon for the 1st place in Wolfpack GFX
competition
Lieutenant Feco received
the Commendation for Bravery for
flying more than 30 EH custom missions
no transfers this week
Rankings
Fleet Commander's Honor Guard
Archon
Adam
Szydlowski 1672
(2nd in Wing)
Archon
Kodiak Kereban
1588 (+1)
(3rd)
Archon Keiran Laserlight 1571 (+23) (4th)
Grenadier Feco 32 (+12) (24th) [3 up]
Not Rated Quat'r Zax 0 (30th) [1 down]
Not Rated Thomace 0 (30th) [1 down]
Not Rated Illesial 0 (30th)
Combat Ratings
Officer 1st Adam Szydlowski 63 (3rd in Wing)
Marksman 4th Keiran Laserlight 14 (8th)
Certified
Kodiak Kereban
7
(11th)
Not Rated Feco 0 (17th)
Not Rated Quat'r Zax 0 (17th)
Not Rated Thomace 0 (17th)
Not Rated Illesial 0 (17th)
Competitions
Operation: Virgin
Held by: CPT Keiran Laserlight, Vortex Squadron's Commanding Officer (keiranlaserlight@o2.pl)
Deadline: 1st July 2005
Competitors: Vortex Squadron
What is it all about?: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewtopic.php?t=1092
Vortex Squadron to the rescue!
Held by: CPT Keiran Laserlight, Vortex Squadron's Commanding Officer (keiranlaserlight@o2.pl)
Deadline: 1st July 2005
Competitors: Vortex Squadron
What is it all about?: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewtopic.php?t=1114
Wolfpack Recruitment Competition
Held by: LC Ambar Kilick, Wing XIII Wing Commander (ambar.kilick@gmail.com)
Deadline: 13th June 2005
Competitors: Wing XIII
What is it all about?: Recruit for the Grey Wolf. Of course follow the Bylaws and EHCoC which say "No direct recruiting!". Try on the Daedalus and in the Reserves.
Medals to smack: Iron Star - Silver Ribbon, Iron Star - Bronze Ribbon
Held by: VA Gidda, Agreggor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander (ehgidda@tiscalinet.it)
Deadline: 31st December 2005
Competitors: ASF and Avenger Squadron
What is it all about?: Fly for the Emperor's
Hammer in the XvT and XWA Weeks of War. The bert three pilots get the
shiney medals.
Medals to smack:
Iron Star - Gold Wings, Iron Star - Silver Wings, Iron
Star - Bronze Wings, Legion of Combat, Distinguished Flying Cross
Held by: VA Gidda, Agreggor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander (ehgidda@tiscalinet.it)
Deadline: 18th June 2005
Competitors: ASF and Avenger Squadron
What is it all about?: Create a GFX of Agressor
Strige Force banner. If you win your submission will be used
officially. Submissions must be in .jpg or .gif format, size is free
but remember that your banner must fit well in the ASF Roster page.
Citations
Squadron Citations (5) (-141)
TIE-TC
Battle 3 - New Dimensions
TIE-TC Battle 7 - Betrayal
TIE-TC Battle 41 - Rebel Demise
TIE-TC Battle 47 - Get That Rat!
TIE-TC Battle 49 - Construct the Sovereign
Roster
VORTEX SQUADRON : Infiltration
COMMANDER: CPT Keiran Laserlight
NICKNAME: Wings of Death
MOTTO: Run and you will only die tired!
HOMEPAGE: http://vortexsquadron.minos.net/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://mb.emperorshammer.net/viewforum.php?f=96
FLIGHT I - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: The wings of wrath
Motto: Swift death to all
2) LT Thomace
4) TBA
FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: The wings of justice
Motto: We shall prevail
1) TBA
2) TBA
4) TBA
FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: The wings of balance
Motto: We are the bringers of destruction
1) LT Feco
3) LT
Illesial
4) TBA
Final words
"Run and you will only die tired!"
<SALUTE>
Captain Keiran Laserlight
Vortex Squadron's Commanding Officer
CMDR/CPT Keiran Laserlight/Vortex/Wing XIII/ISD Grey Wolf
BSx4/PCx7/ISMx3/MoI-BC/IS-5BW-12BR-5SW-17SR/LoC-CSx2-Rx4/CoB/OV-2E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-CBX-FZ-HIST-IBX-ICQ-IIC/1-LIN-M/1/2-MP-SM/3-TT-WM-WPN}
"Good looking officer is a good officer"
This report is for the interior use of the Emperor's Hammer TIE Corps gaming club. Whole message or any part of it's contents can be copied, distributed, read(!), printed, quoted, commented, eaten or everything else you can only imagine.
I will be thankful for any comments at keiranlaserlight@o2.pl