Welcome to another episode of the DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGER REPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!
With your host, the only man with an ego that has been confirmed to be bigger than Lord Darth Vader's own personal Task Force... Captain Dan Seth "Instigator" Malaktos!
::Sappy music::
::Whispering::
::A cardboard cutout on wheels rolls through the door in front of the camera::
Cut Out> Hey, this is cool! Are we on? We are? Cool. Hi! I'm Dan! I'm a big doofus! I can assure you that I really am Dan, and he is NOT really being lowered to his death in the ship's core by Steve the morale officer! ... Uhh... Crap. Well it's not a problem, see, cuz this is a carboard cut out! Ha ha! You'll never get me!
Bob>Hey, viewers, I have a live feed from the ship's core.... Bill's on the scene!
::Screen flips to the inside of the ship's core. Dan is upside-down, hanging on a rope, and gagged, being lowered to his death by a certain cricket bat...::
Steve>Haha! Resign from the medcorps, will you?! Leave me to keep the pilots drugg-- err.... happy, WILL YOU?! I'LL KILL YOU! YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!
Dan>Mffff!!! MFFFFF!!
::As Dan nears the lava(Oh yes, there's lava in the Ship's Core! Ask your friendly neighborhood CMDR for a CLOSE UP TRIP!), Dan's head begins to swell and glow... the gag breaks loose:
Dan>FEEL THE POWER OF MY EGO!!!!!
Steve>NOT THE EGO!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!
::Dan breaks the ropes, swings off to the side(triumphic fanfare), and grabs Steve::
Dan>Bad morale officer! What were you thinking? Bad!
::Dan looks at the camera::
Dan>Don't try that at home, boys and girls! Now I'll just... hey, look, we're back on the set. I guess that's my cue to go to the news, since the segment that normally is filled with a guest is over because we couldn't find a guest, so I had to show off my daredevilness.
EH NEWS:
1. Naval Corps Opening: TFC of Monitor Open! Apply: r_bargon@hotmail.com
2. VIRTUAL URLS ON THE TC.ORG! This thing kicks BUTTOCKS! To see Dagger's roster..... http://dagger.squadron.tiecorps.org! To see my GLOURIOIUS profile, 4197.tiecorps.org! It's BEAUTIFUL!
3. New XvT Mission Editing Course Professor!
WHO CARES?
99% of babies are borne by women. Less than 1% are born through caesarian section inside the male kidney sac. 80% of Americans are fascinated by useless statistics...
WING NEWS:
1. WING COMMANDER'S OWN! In case some of you knuckleheads didn't know, we're the current WC's Own. If you all don't fly this next one, or have a VALID excuse, It's my understanding that you are awoled. You all have about 12 hours or so before the mission is announced, so finish up with Sin Vs. Dagger FIRST.
2. Run-on! Add to it!
3. Relentless withdraws from the FMC!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"Oh, I've been sittin' on the toiiiiiiiilet, all the live-long day.... I've been sittin' on the toiiiiiilet..." --Homer Simpson
SQUADRON NEWS:
1. WING COMMANDER'S OWN! See above.
2. MSEs will be sent tommorrow
3. DANGER: EVERYONE MUST CHECK IN WITH ME!
4. I like even numbers.
5. I'm going to start making less strict WSRs, check below, you'll see what I mean.
6. AoL's damned file saving system flipped out. Anyone who sent me FT 127, please resend.
7. I'm gonna start shortening my leash for waning activity. It's one thing for me to be laid back, but another for me to not react at all. I'm not saying that you have to fly 3 battles a week(though it'd be nice), but I am saying you must email me at LEAST twice a week. Be prepared to respond to new emails on our egroups account, and check out our Message Board more often.
8. I'm looking for someone to take over doing the squad webpage, because, obviously, I never get around to doing it, what with procrastinating taking up all my time.
9. With the departure of Theodore, the new Dagger Squadron Tactical Officer is going to be my right hip.
SQUADRON STATUS:
Priority List:
I. Sin Vs. Dagger-FT 127
II. WC's Own... Unknown!
III. Post on the Relentless Run-On!
IV. Buy me a donkey.
PERSONAL ACHIEVMENTS:
CMDR/CPT Dan Malaktos
-Posted on Runon, frequented IRC
-Frequented IRC
-Escaped Maryland, USA
FM/SL Aragorn
-Joined
-No communication
FM/LT Leonid DeBastide
-Flew TC-TIE 165
-Checked in
FL/LCM Manticore
-Checked in
FM/LT Alun Tringad
-Rejoined
FL/LT Rejili Holthaus
-Working on MUD
FM/LT Fireball
-Nothing... in danger of being inactive
FM/SL Matt Rust
-Joined
-No communication
Captain D. S. "Instigator" Malaktos
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CMDR-SR/CPT Dan "Instigator" Malaktos/Dagger 1-1/Wing IX/ISD Relentless
BS/PCx2/ISMx6/MoI/MoT-4gh/CoS/OV-3E
[CAVL] {IWATS-Core IIC/1/2 mIRC/1/2 RT SM/2 TM GFX}
[T/D Hand of the Apocalypse]
"Join the Relentless! It makes your hometown better!"