Welcome to another episode of the DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGER REPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!
With your host, Captain Dan Seth "Instigator" Malaktos!
::Sappy music::
... WITH YOUR HOST, CAPTAIN DAN SETH "INSTIGATOR" MALAKTOS!
Bob>Stop the music! What the hell, where is he!
::Bob steps out to look through the door, and is promptly run over by Dan, who jumps behind the Ewok cage::
Dan>WHO THE HELL LET HIM RUN AROUND THE DECK?!
Bill>Who?
Dan>It's Al Gore and George W. Bush!
Bob>They're our guests!
Dan>YOU KRIFFING NUTJOBS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?! THEY'RE ON THE SHIP!
Bill>They were the only people we could get!
Dan>::Grumble grumble: I'm docking your pay.
Bob>You don't pay us!
Dan>No wonder, too.
::Dan sits in his chair::
Heya folks! Welcome, how ya doin? Oh, excuse me one second.
::Dan takes out a syringe from his case and fills it with a clear liquid, and then injects himself with it::
Just a little anti-stress medication, we have some really... good guests today.
::Dan fills the syringe with a thick, purple liquid, puts a cap on it, and sticks it in his pocket::
Ok... Let's bring out Albert Gore first! Yeah, presidential candidate of that insignificant ONE habitable planet in the Sol System.
::Gore comes in, and shoots a look at the camera, then sits down::
Dan>Hello, Vice President.
Gore>Hello, Captain.
Dan>Well, you're running for president, so what would you do for Dagger, even though you could never influence us because Sol is nowhere near here?
Gore>Well, first of all, I'd turn the Dagger Squadron Barracks into what I like to call a "locked box." You would have the only key, and pilots would only be allowed to leave the "locked box" for waste depository--
Dan>To use the toilet?
Gore>...yes. Now the "locked box" would be camoflaged--
Dan>Camoflage?
Gore>Yes.
Dan>We're on an IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER!
Gore>What's your point?
Dan>What colour would you camoflage it?! WHITE?!
Gore>No, green. Jungle green.
Dan>Jungle green?!
Gore>Yes.
Dan>It'd stand out even MORE!
Gore>But it's LOCKED!
Dan>If we're invaded, who CARES if it's locked! Stupid rebels, they'd use their thick heads to bash the door down!
Gore>How? It's CAMOFLAGED! You don't get this whole "locked box" thing.
::Gore starts to grimace::
Dan>What the hell are you--
Gore>Excuse me, I'm going to interrupt and pretend like it was my turn to speak.
Dan>Of course.
Gore>You see, what if instead of a "locked box," let's just ditch that idea. What if we kept the Dagger Barracks secure, and we called it the "locked barracks." You would have a key and--
Dan>What the hell is WRONG with you?! GET OFF MY SET!
Gore>But I haven't had a chance to insult you yet!
Dan>OUT!
::Gore walks off mumbling about his locked box::
Dan>Bring in Bush, let's get this over with...
::Bush walks in slowly, then turns ubruptly, and bumps into a wall, and starts walking in place in front of it::
Dan>Umm, governor, would you like to sit down?
Bush>Hold... on.... I'm...... what's the word? Oh the hell with it, I'll make it up. I'm exactacuteably very hard.
Dan>You mean "trying?"
Bush>Yeah... that.
::Bush finds his way into a chair and sits::
::Dan contemplates injecting the purple fluid in his veins::
Dan>Well, how do you think about your chances of beating Gore?
Bush>Well... I... think that I can... but it takes alot of... strategery.
Dan>I'm gonna pretend I know what that means.
Bush>You see... if I can give you one word to help you if you ever do this... "to be prepared..." that'd be that word.
Dan>Uh-huh... What's your policy on me blowing up your puny planet?
Bush>Uhh.... bad.
Dan>Can you leave now?
Bush>Uhh... uhh.... o...kay...
::Bush walks out slowly::
EH NEWS:
1. AD Theodore is new FO!
2. AbK new IO!
WHO CARES?
Dan's looking for a new server! HELP!
WING NEWS:
1. MUD is gathering builders...
2. Theo is the new Relentless Ace
3. COM Comp! Make fiction about YOU being the COM's bodyguard!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"Ah, logbot's gone! F*ckf*ckf*ckf*ck!" - Rear Admiral Talin Andronicus(Censored)
SQUADRON NEWS:
1. WE KILLED ALPHA! YAY!
2. Got a new recruit! SL MATT RUST!
3. Falcon left! Thank G-d!
4. Manticore got an ISM!
5. Alun came back!
6. Talon left...
SQUADRON STATUS:
Priority One:
Dagger vs. Sin: FREE 127! By NEXT Wednesday! Attached.
PERSONAL ACHIEVMENTS:
CMDR/CPT Dan Malaktos
11/22/00 - Recruited heavily
11/23/00 - Preparing the following comps:
Sin vs. Dagger - 11/26/00 - 12/6/00
Cheth vs. Dagger - 12/10/00 - 12/20/00
Eta vs. Dagger- 1/7/01 - 1/17/01
FM/LT Leonid DeBastide:
Reported in
FL/LCM Manticore:
11/23/00 - Helped CMDR with heavy recruiting
FM/LT Alun Tringad
Came back!
FL/LT Rejili Holthaus
11/19/00 - Apointed to FL of Flight Three
11/22/00 - Made several Dagger-related graphics
11/23/00 - Made Flight Three Website
11/23/00 - Helped CMDR with heavy recruiting
FM/LT Fireball
Reported in
FM/SL Matt Rust
Joined
Captain D. S. "Instigator" Malaktos
--------------------------------------
CMDR-SR/CPT Dan "Instigator" Malaktos/Dagger 1-1/Wing IX/ISD Relentless
BS/PCx2/ISMx6/MoI/MoT-4gh/CoS/OV-3E
[CAVL] {IWATS-Core IIC/1/2 mIRC/1/2 RT SM/2 TM GFX}
[T/D Hand of the Apocalypse]
DOC/LCM Dan Malaktos/TC-BG/ISD Relentless
"Join the Relentless! It makes your hometown better!"