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Some Contest or Other
Apparently some bunch of losers on umm.. what was called it again? ISD umm.. erm... oh heck, the ISD Something-Or-Other (It started with a C but I can't say I've ever heard of them winning anything) have taken momentary leave of their senses and believe they can actually beat Wing X at something. In order to humour them, the WC has ordered that Free-TIE 134 be flown before October 21st. There's also a fiction section to this contest, so if you feel up to it, write away. If there are any restrictions on what your fiction must be about, no-one's told me about it. Tfrs and stories to me before the due date, but don't kill yourselves doing it. We could submit more stories and tfrs than the rest of the Wing put together and we'd still be lucky to even get a footnote in the Weekly Report :P
Oh yeah, it was the ISD Colossus. Anyone know them?
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Finally, a big, fat Deathwind-style welcome to MAJ Mooks who takes the spot vacated by CM Kanzco. Mooks is famous in the Medical Corps for being responsible for the affliction known as Mooks Syndrome, a terrible disease which once ran rampant in the Fleet Command Officers. Symptoms included incessant pestering over IRC and email, and a strange and irrational desire to choke the life out of Majors called "Mooks". We can only hope this disease hasn't mutated and now infects Colonels too.
Mooks, if you're looking for glory, you came to the wrong Squadron. Transfer elsewhere if you want anyone to acknowledge that you're any good. On the other hand, if you want to take down every Squad in the Fleet that gets a Monthly award from here on in, your TIE Defender is ready and waiting :)
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Dark Lord of the Week
The highly prestigious title of Dark Lord of the Week is only given to the person who has most advanced the success of the Squadron, amused the CMDR, or slipped me the most £5 notes in a brown paper bag. This week's winner is:
FM/MAJ Aven Kronn
Because despite the fact that no-one apart from me cares, he just can't stop flying!
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Ewok of the Week
Yub Yub!
Every story has a hero, every journey has a first step, every Fleet has a pilot who thinks The Gettysburg Address was where President Lincoln lived . This weeks' Prize Ewok is none other than:
The TIE Corps Battlegroups
Because we're going to kick all your arses :P
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Quotes of the Week
"4 years in the TIE Corps and still just 2 FCHG points...?!?" MAJ Kronn wonders just what the hell Jerry does when he's off duty. Come to think of it, what does he do when he's ON duty??
"My life just got worse... My girlfriend dances around the apartment listening to Donna Summer... (LOUD)..." Convince her to dance naked and it won't seem so bad.
"It just got worse... she's singing too." You have our sympathies.
"But it is remarkable that so many people from other Wings idle in this channel - there must be really something about Wing X, which they can't resist... " There is, Kronn. It's me :)
"Perhaps I should just start drinking heavily. If it works for our CMDR, why not for me?" MAJ Kronn discovers the secret of a long TIE Corps career..
[23:40]
"[23:02] * `Darklord gropes topdawgy." Don't touch what you can't afford, Darklord :P
FO/AD Sarriss: "The Flight Office is happy to report that this week saw the addition of about 30 cadets on the Daedalus and despite some normal movement in active rosters, the total numbers are up. We believe the change of security codes and warning posters with the holo-vid of a certain former Flight Officer have made the cadets feel safer and has led to the recent increases." Does this mean my all-areas passkey won't work anymore?
"[23:32] <`TopDawg> You guys are giving me a bad impression of what brits are like." I'm afraid it doesn't get much better.
"I've been forgetting to add ", you rebel scum." after everything, you rebel scum." CM Touga Kiryyu loves his work, bless him.
(CorranH): Don't you ever just see an X-W and think...ohhh yeah baby?
(Touga): No, I hate every single rebel ship, to be honest, and when I see any of them, I think "target". Ask any of my RL friends and my girlfriend.
Who wants to be the one to tell him it's only a game?
Quote of the Week
<`Quake> "Kessler is to be humiliated by Spear wiping Tornado's butts."
Thank you for that kind offer, Commander Quake. We were only going to make you wipe the decks of the cantina clean after we've whupped your scrawny asses, but if you want to be our toilet-paper holders too, who are we to stop you?
Quote of the Week Scores:
Astatine 1 CoHo 1 Snake 1 Manitsas 1 Nebers 1 Stormfyld 1 Sarriss 1 Quake 1
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"Is Mike Hunt here? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Does anyone know what Mike Hunt looks like?"
The Usual Suspects
Flight One - The Missile Magnets
Fighter Pilots Make Movies - Bomber Pilots Make History
The soon-to-be FM/LT Kyle Kessler
Nothing. Zip. Nada. Bugger-all. Nothing. Not that anyone's likely to notice.
FM/MAJ "Snoop-Doggy" TopDawg
Flew TC-TIE 156 for Squadron League
Flew Free-TIE 94 for the Spear Smackdown Contest
Designed an R-Rated "We got our butts kicked by Tornado" banner :)
FM/CPT "Rip Van Winkle" Steele
Promoted to FCHG Dragoon
FM/CPT "Captain Ego" Rea
Challenging LC Corran Horn for Challenge Ace Pilot title.
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Flight II - The Brylcreem Boys
Kissing Ass and Taking Names
FL/CM Touga "Mister Empire" Kiryyu
Flew Free-TIE 104
Flew TC-TIE 138
FM/LC Corran "Damn I'm Gorgeous" Horn
Challenge Ace Pilot title holder. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!
Flew Free-TIE 104
Flew Free-TIE 110
Flew Free-TIE 111
Designed a Squadron Banner
FM/MAJ "You Bastard!" Mooks
Joined Tornado
FM/CM "Darth Vile" Xyrryc
Flew Free-TIE 135
Flew and reflew Free-TIE 94 for the Spear Smackdown Contest
Flew Battlecry #7 TIE Contest
Awarded ISM for above average performance in September
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Flight III - The High Priests of Love
We're the Love Commandos and this is a Raid!
FL/CM Callum "The Shadow" Veers
Promoted to FCHG Cavalier
FM/MAJ Aven "Hermann the German" Kronn
Awarded ISM for above average performance during September
Flew TC-TIE 156 for Squadron League
Flew TC-TIE 001
Flew TC-XWA 3
Flew TC-XWA 9
FM/LCM "Uncle Fester" Jerry
Flew TC-TIE 156 for Squadron League
Flew TC-TIE 003
FM/LT Kaoru "Babyface" Miki
Awarded ISM for above average performance during September. His first medal ever... awwwww....
Promoted to FCHG Grenadier
Reflew TC-TIE 156 for better score
Yes, more activity in one week than most Wings see in a month. What a waste of effort.
Peace, Love, Shave the Wookie,
CMDR/COL Kyle Kessler/Tornado Squadron/Wing X/ISD Challenge