Vice Admiral BubbaX reporting on 1.23.2005


Another week, another TCBG report, sponsored by our friends in the Flight Office.


Totally Shocking Sensationalized EH News for the Media Generation
The infamous HCI (“Guilty until proven Guiltier”) has been disbanded by order of the new Fleet Commander, GA Astatine. Replacing it will most likely be a military tribunal system staffed by CO’s. The new system will, in theory, provide faster case turnaround and more consistent, fair sentencing.

This unexpected directive leaves Funk Daddy Royal and his gang of hip INQ’s unemployed and homeless! In this time of great need, the Nun Beer Corporation has implemented the “Adopt an Inquisitor” program! All you have to do is send a check for fifty Imperial Credits to 555 Nun Beer Lane, ISD Challenge, and you can be the proud, mostly-legal guardian of a needy INQ.


Make the TCBGs a New Banner!!!
Our current banner is sooooo passé. My BG Banner Comp has been approved! It ends on January 29th. The winner will be awarded a shiny IS-GR, with an IS-SR to second! There’re no specific requirements for the banner except that it has to look good and have something to do with the TCBGs.


Casino Imperiale!
The basics are simple, you fly, you write an after-flight report, and you write a fiction. Here’s the thing, though. This will be scored by wing averages, much like ECR VI was. This means that everyone who doesn’t participate will be dragging their wing down, down, down. Luckily, there is a way around this for people who either don’t want to fly, or don’t want to write! As long as you do one or the other, you won’t be hurting the wing. Meaning that if you only write a fiction, you won’t be hurting the wing average, but if you don’t do anything, then shame on you. Yes, you. Cows are fun. I know where you live. To conclude this, there is absolutely no reason to not participate, besides being a hippie. Don’t be a hippie.

The Mysterious BG-wide Comp “Operation: Chickadee Bits”, Formerly Known as “Operation: Luxury Yacht (Pronounced ‘Throatwobbler Mangrove’)”
I can’t tell you anything about this now, because I don’t want to ruin the surprise. I will say, however, that we have made significant progress (really, it’s true!) on this since I initiated the project in my first week as BGCOM, and, barring death, disembowelment, hail, or nuclear fallout, the comp will be ready come Springtime!

More:

Murphys Law of Combat Operations:
41. When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.
42. Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
43. Military Intelligence is a contradiction.
44. Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
45. Weather ain't neutral.
46. If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
47. Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.
48. 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go'.
49. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
50. Napalm is an area support weapon.
51. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
52. B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.
53. Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
54. Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
55. The one item you need is always in short supply.
56. Interchangeable parts aren't.
57. It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
58. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
59. The side with the simplest uniforms wins.
60. Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

Be gone ye foul demon!

Half of the people in the world are below average.

VA BubbaX