Pilot's Lounge
Yes, it is inevitable that this contrast be drawn sometime, here it comes...
Star Wars compared to Star Trek:
Creator
Star Wars: George Lucas, "The Great Gungan of the Galaxy"
Star Trek: Gene Roddenberry, "The Great Bird of the Galaxy"
Winner: None. Roddenberry wrote The Motion Picture and Lucas wrote The Phantom Menace. Make it stop!
Captain, My Captain
Star Wars: Darth Vader solves the problem by tearing the ship apart.
Star Trek: Captain Picard solves the problem by throwing out Shakespeare quotes.
Winner: Star Wars. Needest thou ask?
Montra
Star Wars: "May the hair be with you."
Star Trek: "To baldly go where no one has gone before."
Winner: Star Wars. What better way to Rebel than to have Cinnamon buns for hair?
The Ship
Star Wars: The Falcon made the Kessel run on five liters of gas.
Star Trek: The Enterprise-D follows a "speed limit" because "warp travel" disrupts the "fabric of the galaxy"?
Winner: Star Wars. Who cares about the "fabric of the galaxy"? Floor it!
Villainy
Star Wars: That's us!
Star Trek: The Bomulans, Kingkongs and Species 34343242? Er...
Winner: Star Wars. *Whistles as he gives the point to the Empire.*
Look Sir, Droids!
Star Wars: C-3PO and R2-D2... Babbles and beeps?
Star Trek: Well, okay, Data isn't too bad...
Winner: Star Trek. Sorry everyone.
That character needs to go!
Star Wars: Jar Jar Binks.
Star Trek: Dr. Pulaski.
Winner: None. Both go on, and on, and on, and on... Gaaaaaah!
Dodgy Sorts
Star Wars: Han Solo has a bounty on his head after being a smuggler.
Star Trek: Quark makes a dishonest dollar here and there.
Winner: None. Both crack down and show some heart at times.
Star Wars vaporizes Star Trek by a score of 4-1!
Letters from the Cardinal...
Star Wars: Episode III Preview
*Mon Mothma walks towards the Senate chambers.*
Jedi Prophet: Beware the tides of March!
Lucas: Cut, cut! It's Ides of March, for goodness sake!
Jedi Prophet: What the hell's that?
Lucas: The 15th of March...
Jedi Prophet: Why can't we just say that?
Lucas: Look, just read the lines and we'll pay you, okay?
Jedi Prophet: Fine...
Jedi Prophet: Beware the Ides of March!
*Mon Mothma trudges along quickly, generally ignoring this news.*
*She then takes her seat in the chambers.*
Palpatine: Order, order!
Palpatine: Any old business?
Mon Mothma: I want to discuss these new taxes!
Palpatine: Sorry, that's new business. No old business? Fine, on to new business.
Mon Mothma: About the taxes...
Palpatine: That's old business now. No new business, then?
Palpatine: Very well then, it's time for us to enact a loophole... Erm... article of the law.
Palpatine: Yes, that's right. As of now, I'm enacting Section 3, Subsection A, Paragraph 2, Sub-Paragraph 2, Special Case 5 of the Republic Act, owing to "emergency circumstances".
Mon Mothma: This is an outrage! What's the emergency?
Palpatine: The emergency is that without us taking over things, the other movies won't make any sense.
Mon Mothma: This is absurd! I protest!
Palpatine: Note the protest and then throw it away, please.
Mon Mothma: Really, I...
Palpatine: ... Want to leave and let us get on with taking over the galaxy? An excellent suggestion!
News
- The "Run-of-the-Mill" competition has been released. It involves mission flying and a caption competition section. Details to be mailed separately.
- The new ASF board is at http://www.ehtiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=6&s=0
- Freeworlds 1.65 was released. See ehtiecorps.org for details.
- Imperial Storm V is still on hold...
War Room
"Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . once." - Murphy
Run-of-the-Mill
Deadline: 11/28/2003
URL: http://www.ehtiecorps.org/competitions/details.asp?ID=1635
Description: There is one mission for each platform. IS-GWs, SWs and BWs will be awarded for the highest scores on each one. Also, there are three pictures from Star Wars separate from the missions. Submissions will be taken for humorous made-up captions to fit with these pictures. The best captions for each picture will earn an IS-GR, SR and BR.
Imperial Storm V
Deadline: Goodness knows.
URL: http://waroffice.minos.net.
Description: Big old wargame with the entire TIE Corps involved.
BGCOM's Legate
Deadline: Monthly.
Description: Titles for the top three pilots in the ASF each month. An IS-GW and the title of "BGCOM's Legate" for the winner.
Week of War Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1403.
Description: Iron Stars for ASF WoW winners! Hurray!
Recruitment Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1461.
Description: Recruit RSVists and help CTs train to help the ASF! Do it for the Flight! Do it for the Squadron! Do it for the Wing! Do it for the ship! Do it for the division! Do it for the club! Do it for your loved ones! Do it for the Emperor! Do it for the Fleet Commander! Do it for Vader! Whatever helps, really.
Battlegroup Commander's Office
In keeping with my objectives from last week, the Run-of-the-Mill competition has started. I will send out a mail after this report with the full details and links to the caption pictures. The content of the ASF page is also coming along, although there is no new place to host it quite yet. As for the plot-driven competition, more people have signed on to help, but nothing tangible (as tanglible as digital data can be, anyway) has come out yet.
Picture of the Week
Aggressor Strike Force
ISD Grey Wolf - 44
ISD Intrepid - 33
ISD Vanguard - 46
ISD Predator - 37
Avenger Squadron - 9
In the service of the Ides of March,
Admiral Khadgar
Aggressor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander
BGCOM-FOA-COOA-PROF/AD Khadgar/Aggressor Strike Force
GOE/GS/SSx6/BSx6/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-2BW-8BR-1SW-7SR-1GW-1GR-1PR/LoC-IS-CSx5-Rx3/CoL/CoB/LoAx32/OV-4E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2/3-TT-VBS-XTM/1}