Pilot's Lounge
gen.nitwit_15 returns this week to lead Imperial troops into the famous Battle of Hoth in the style of the first person shooter community:
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: You May Start Your Landing.
gen.nitwit_15: thx sir, i wont let u down!!
EAGLEEYEZ: SIRS!!! SIRS!!!! EMPIRES WALKERS R COMING!
RebelCommander: Get the crews to their snowspeeders.
EAGLEEYEZ: wha?
RebelCommander: Get the crews to their snowspeeders...
EAGLEEYEZ: WHA!?
RebelCommander: Oh...
RebelCommander: get da lazzy bums to there spedars!
EAGLEEYEZ: YES SIRS!!!
ExpendibleBrigadeLeader: charge!!!! 4 the rabellion!
LieutenantPompous: EAT THIS REBAL SCUM!
(ExpendibleBrigadeLeader, ExpendibleBrigadeSecond, ExpendibleBrigadeThird die by LieutenantPompous' AT-AT blast.)
RebelCommander: Do something! Get those walkers down!
ECHOECHOECHOLEADER: cover me, im going for a toad cable!!!
DeadIn60Seconds: ok, go 4 it!!!
ECHOECHOECHOLEADER: watch 4 the crossfriar! NO!
(DeadIn60Seconds predictably dies by LieutenantPompous' AT-AT's continued fire.)
ECHOECHOECHOLEADER: regrease toad cable!
(LieutenantPompous dies as walker trips and falls.)
*DEAD* LieutenantPompous: NO FAIR LAG SPIKE! I DEMAND A REMATCH! ILL TAKE ANY OF U ON 1ON1!!!!
gen.nitwit_15: TARGUT TEH MAIN GEN MAX FIRE POWER!!
(Rebel Base structure compromised, 15 points awarded to Imperial team.)
gen.nitwit_15: RELEASE THE PARATROOPERS!
CorporalRational: We don't have paratroopers, sir.
gen.nitwit_15: ALL I ASK FOR IS PARATROOPS AND I CANT EVEN GET THAT!?
gen.nitwit_15: FINE RELEASE THE SNOWTROOPAS!!!
OLDSNOWSTORM: OK RUSH THE REBAL SPAWN
(OLDSNOWSTORM kills ExpendibleBrigadeFourth and ExpendibleBrigadeFifth.)
ExpendibleBrigadeSixth: CHEATERS WE CANT SEE U
OLDSNOWSTORM: U NOOB WE BLEND IN WITH THE SNOW
(OLDSNOWSTORM kills ExpendibleBrigadeSixth and ExpendibleBrigadeSeventh.)
RebelCommander: Fall back and charge the ion cannon!
EAGLEEYEZ: WHA MAKE U THINK THEYLL LISTEN 2 U
RebelCommander: Because unlike other Rebel commanders, I can type properly!
EAGLEEYEZ: WOW CHARGE THE IONIZATITITION CANNONS!
CaptainIdiot: R FIRST CATCH OF DA DAY
(CaptainIdiot and his crew are disabled by an ion cannon blast.)
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: Do Not Let The Rebels Escape!
AdmBlunderOzzel: OOPS THEYVE GONE
(AdmBlunderOzzel chokes and dies.)
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: You're In Command Now Admiral Piett!
AdmImmodestPiett: I GOT THE SKILLZ THX MY LORD
Letters from the Cardinal...
Star Wars invades other DVD movies:
Yoda: Wax on, wax off.
Han Solo: I'll have a Corellian Ale, mangled and not shaken.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Your sister, is she secret, is she safe?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You're a wizard, Luke.
C-3PO: His excellency, the mighty Jabba, will drop you into the snake pit.
Han Solo: I hate snakes!
Emperor Palpatine: All I want is another Death Star with a fricking laser!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: No one can be told what the force is, you have to see it for yourself.
Emperor Palpatine: Here come the sith in black, galaxy oppressors!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: We are the Jedi in tights!
Luke Skywalker (In a high-pitched voice): Tight tights!
Darth Vader: You've got no hand on!
Luke Skywalker: It's just a flesh wound!
Luke Skywalker: We're off to see the master, the wonderful master of Dagobah! Because, because, because, because of what a wonderful Jedi he is!
News
- A new Vanguard staff was appointed in the form of RA Justin as COM and MAJ Daisuke Airyu as WC. Congratulations!
- LC Keller is the new WC on the Predator. Congratulations to him as well!
- Proton is retiring as Sovereign Commodore, and Mell is leaving BeeGees BGCOM in mid-December. This will make Khadgar look pretty old as BGCOM, which is scary. Don't apply for these spots, or else ECHOECHOECHOLEADER will have to "regrease the toad cable" at you.
- XvT WoW is on again, which means there's more Iron Stars to dole out. Hurray. Hurray.
- The Internet Officer has retired to "generously" add to the number of open Command Staff slots. Apply only if you want to start Project: Hawkeye II back up and reward Khadgar the same handsome rate that he got for the first Hawkeye.
War Room
"It's good to be the COM!" - RA Justin?
Imperial Storm V
Deadline: Goodness knows.
URL: http://waroffice.minos.net.
Description: Big old wargame with the entire TIE Corps involved.
BGCOM's Legate
Deadline: Monthly.
Description: Titles for the top three pilots in the ASF each month. An IS-GW and the title of "BGCOM's Legate" for the winner.
Week of War Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1403.
Description: Iron Stars for ASF WoW winners! Hurray!
Recruitment Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1461.
Description: Recruit RSVists and help CTs train to help the ASF! Do it for the Flight! Do it for the Squadron! Do it for the Wing! Do it for the ship! Do it for the division! Do it for the club! Do it for your loved ones! Do it for the Emperor! Do it for the Fleet Commander! Do it for Vader! Whatever helps, really.
Battlegroup Commander's Office
Well, congratulations are in order for our new flag officers...
ECHOECHOECHOLEADER: watch 4 the crossfriar! NO!
(Khadgar ducks as a stream of tomatoes comes at him.)
Argh, sorry people, we don't have spots for everyone!
However, we are seemingly always looking for CMDRs *Hint Hint*.
Other than that, I'll stick to the same generic plea for help with mission creation. Please? Pretty please? Etc.?
P.S. Is it possible that ECHOECHOECHOLEADER will become a classic character that appears regularly here and in other reports? At this rate, probably.
Picture of the Week
Aggressor Strike Force
ISD Grey Wolf - 42
ISD Intrepid - 34
ISD Vanguard - 50
ISD Predator - 43
Avenger Squadron - 8
In The Service Of DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization,
Admiral Khadgar
Aggressor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander
BGCOM-FOA-COOA-PROF/AD Khadgar/Aggressor Strike Force
GOE/GS/SSx6/BSx6/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-2BW-8BR-1SW-7SR-1GW-1GR-1PR/LoC-IS-CSx5-Rx3/CoL/CoB/LoAx32/OV-4E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2/3-TT-VBS-XTM/1}