Pilot's Lounge
Another of the gen.nitwit_15 saga, the Battle of Yavin (who may return, depending on popular demand).
GrandImperiousTarkin: Nitwit, your single task is not to let the Rebels hit the shaft.
gen.nitwit_15: dont let in the draft, got u sir!
GrandImperiousTarkin: The shaft!
gen.nitwit_15: dont send many craft, got it!!!
GrandImperiousTarkin: Just launch the bloody fighters, nimrod!
gen.nitwit_15: nimwit......sir....
(gen.nitwit_15 turns on the intercom.)
gen.nitwit_15: lunch for all fighterz crew!!!!!!
(Pilots leave duty for lunch.)
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: You Two, Stay With Me.
SirAnachronism: I shall follow your most intricate command until the last gasp of breath is drawn from my body, Lord British, sir!
DS-911 (in a high-pitched voice): WE WILL MAKE THEM WISH THEY WERE NEVER PORN.
SirAnachronism: I believe the phrase is, "never born"?
DS-911: U NOOB.
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: Calm Down, We Must Defeat Skywalker.
REDSHIRTLEADER: all units form up and enter the trench, watch 4 german gunz!
WhyWingLeader: No... Big... Rush... We're... Coming... In...
REDSHIRTXO: LOL WHY WINGS ARE SO DUMB
REDSHIRTLEADER: CUT THAT CHATTER OUT REDSHIRT 2 OR YOULL B KICKED
PearloftheAntilles: Fluke, I'm with you.
FLUKESKYTALKER: THX ANT
GrandImperiousTarkin: You fool, they're in the trench, cocentrate gunner fire!
(gen.nitwit_15 turns on the intercom.)
gen.nitwit_15: STAGNATE THAT FIRE, F00LZ!
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: The Guns Have Stopped, Let Us Go.
(Imperial fighters launch from Imperial spawn.)
SirAnachronism: I stab at thee, accomplice of Lord Blackthorn! Curse his name, may he die by Lord British's hand!
(SirAnachronism shoots down RANDOMREDSHIRT.)
DS-911: PREPARE TO BE VOPORIZED
(DS-911 shoots down RANDOMREDSHIRT2.)
REDSHIRTLEADER: EMPIRES FIGHTERS R COMING! BEGIN ABRASIVE MANUEVERS
WhyWingLeader: Why... Wings... Start... Moving... A... Few... Microns... To... The... Right... To... Avoid... Imperial... Fire
SirAnachronism: Hah, these inferior horses are no match for our stock!
(SirAnachronism shoots down WhyWingLeader, WhyWing2, WhyWing3, WhyWing4, WhyWing5 and WhyBother.)
DS-911: LOL THERES A FAT *** DIE!
(DS-911 shoots down ***JETPORKY***.)
REDSHIRTXO: I CANT BAKE HIM! AAH!
(DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization shoots down REDSHIRTXO.)
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: Stay On The Leader.
REDSHIRTLEADER: ALL 4 1 & 1 4...
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: I Hate Stupid Catch Phrases...
(DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization shoots down REDSHIRTLEADER.)
Can'tHittheBroadSideofaBarn: MY SHOT IS AWY!
Can'tHittheBroadSideofaBarn: **** I MISSED DAMN LAG
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: Get A Better Modem Next Time...
(DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization shoots down Can'tHittheBroadSideofaBarn.)
FLUKESKYTALKER: ANT CHARLIE ON MY TAIL
(PearloftheAntilles shoots down Out2Lunch.)
FLUKESKYTALKER: IM GOING TO LOOT THE SHAFT!
DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization: The Ping Is Low With This One.
(DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization lines up the shot...)
(HanPingSoLow shoots DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization off course.)
(FLUKESKYTALKER shoots the shaft.)
(Shaft explodes. 15 points awarded to Rebel team.)
SirAnachronism: I'm going back to Ultima!
(SirAnachronism leaves.)
Letters from the Cardinal...
I think it's time for another song parody!
*Groans ensue.*
Glad you agree!
"Under My Thumb" re-written by Emperor Palpatine
Under my thumb
The Republic that had my crown
Under my thumb
That Senate led by a clown
It's down to me
The difference in the system that was fair
Down to me, the change has come
They're under my thumb!
Isn't it true, Mothma?
Under my thumb
The squirming peasants who've had their day
Under my thumb
The people who have silenced their nays
It's down to me, yes it is
The way the galaxy is in a stranglehold
Down to me, the change has come
They're under my thumb!
News
- Mission designers sought (again). See BGCOM's Office for details.
- Nightmare and Fox Malloy got medals for XvT WoW. Hurray! This also means that XWA WoW is now on.
- The Commerce Guild is now hostile on Freeworlds.
- The Security Office deals with some of the most vicious conduct in the club. But enough about the rest of the Command Staff, congratulations to RA Vladet Xavier on making Security Officer! As Sarin put it, "Vlad is an outstanding/dedicated member of this club who will improve her with his work on the Command Staff!" Now all we need to know is who "she" is.
- The Tactical Office released some new battles.
- GN "Mocked at Meetings by the Ninja" Stele of Wing II has been promoted to Sovereign Commodore. Congratulations!
War Room
"Fluke, I Am Your Punctuation." - DarthVadarLordOfCapitalization?
Imperial Storm V
Deadline: Goodness knows.
URL: http://waroffice.minos.net.
Description: Big old wargame with the entire TIE Corps involved.
BGCOM's Legate
Deadline: Monthly.
Description: Titles for the top three pilots in the ASF each month. An IS-GW and the title of "BGCOM's Legate" for the winner.
Week of War Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1403.
Description: Iron Stars for ASF WoW winners! Hurray!
Recruitment Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1461.
Description: Recruit RSVists and help CTs train to help the ASF! Do it for the Flight! Do it for the Squadron! Do it for the Wing! Do it for the ship! Do it for the division! Do it for the club! Do it for your loved ones! Do it for the Emperor! Do it for the Fleet Commander! Do it for Vader! Whatever helps, really.
Battlegroup Commander's Office
Since I have forwarded people from the news section from here, I suppose I should discuss mission creation:
I still want to hold a BG-wide competition with custom made missions (Believe it or not). Since no one has written me yet, I'm only asking for missions instead of battles. If you can make TIE, XvT or XWA missions and are willing to do so, please contact me. As to what the competition is/what the plot details are, that's a surprise. :P
Picture of the Week
Aggressor Strike Force
ISD Grey Wolf - 43
ISD Intrepid - 35
ISD Vanguard - 47
ISD Predator - 41
Avenger Squadron - 8
In the service of the thumb,
Admiral Khadgar
Aggressor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander
BGCOM-FOA-COOA-PROF/AD Khadgar/Aggressor Strike Force
GOE/GS/SSx6/BSx6/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-2BW-8BR-1SW-7SR-1GW-1GR-1PR/LoC-IS-CSx5-Rx3/CoL/CoB/LoAx32/OV-4E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2/3-TT-VBS-XTM/1}