Pilot's Lounge
With Imperial Storm V on, the following seems appropriate:
The ASF's Going to War
(To the tune of Freedonia's Going to War)
Khadgar: Then it's war!
Then it's war!
Gather the forces!
Set the courses!
Then it's war!
Gilad: The ASF's going to war!
Sarin: Every outfit will get into the cockpit.
Drax: And fly away to war!
All: At last we're going to...
Race into space to...
War!
We're going to war!
Gidda and Malidir: At last the ASF's going to war.
All: It seems the ASF's going to war.
Sarin: At last the ASF's going to war!
All: We're going to war!
Justin: This is a fact we can't ignore.
All: We're going to war!
This is a fact we can't ignore.
We're going to war!
Khadgar: In case you haven't heard before...
I think they think we're going to war.
I think they think we're going to war.
All: To war, to war, to war we're going to go...
To war, to war, to war...
To war, to war,
We soon will say goodbye
Yoda: Oh, how we'd cry for Khadgar
If Khadgar should die.
A grumpy BGCOM is he,
A man bygone who'll carry on
Until the dawn of victory.
With the fleet to lead the way...
Our spirits will not lag,
Until we can no longer play.
All: We’ll rally round the flag, the flag, the flag, the flag!
(Fade to the ASF banner)
Letters from the Cardinal...
IWATS Courses You Won't See:
1. IWATS Yoda Stories Tactics (Click quickly!) (YT)
2. IWATS Advanced X-Wing Multiplayer (AXM)
3. IWATS Annoying E-Mail Chains (EM)
4. IWATS Annoying Message Board Posts (MB)
5. IWATS Star Wars Monopoly Tactics (MT)
6. IWATS Rebel Assault Editing (RAE)
7. IWATS MS Paint (PA)
8. IWATS Sucking Up (SU)
9. IWATS Basic Democracy (BD)
10. IWATS Droids (DR - Actually, this one isn't completely awful, maybe someone will leech it for a Silver Star?)
News
- Imperial Storm V has started. Right now we're trudging around the galaxy looking for adventure.
- Airyu read last week's BGCOM's Office section, mailed me, and will be getting an IS-GR for recruitment. The amazing thing here is the fact that he read the BGCOM's Office section. Congratulations to him!
- Nom Anor, Ace and Tlahtoani will get ISs as well for XWA WoW.
- The Legate medals will be put out once the Training Office condescends to answer my E-Mail from August regarding the competition. *Khadgar beats his head against his desk.*
- CoLs! CoLs! CoLs! Yes, that's right, the CoLs were awarded. Gilad, Yoda, Gidda, Ambar Kilick, Timat, Mitim Tsaexin, Spade, S 4patas, Big Poppa K, Airyu, Stryker, Grimlock, Kayle Bayron (the guy's more of an old TIE Corps codger than me), Keller and Archer got some from the master ASF list. Justin, Khadgar (I thought he went out with the old year. Oh, wait, that's me!), Priyum and Marcus Caine also got recommended by Command Staff offices. Congratulations to everyone who got one! Don't feel too badly if you didn't get one this round. There's a limited number of them, and sadly they don't go to every active pilot and flag we have (Drax comes to mind).
- Python Squadron has been resurrected! Congratulations to Frodo, who we're sure will take the Squadron to new heights, but he'll need stilts. Wakka Wakka!
- The Predator's pilots have been busy indeed. Four engagements have taken place recently, and a number of LoCs have gone out. Thanks to those who have taken part in these! - Two people applied for Logistics Officer, one person got it. Moving right along...
War Room
"Glory is fleeting, but Iron Stars are forever." - Napoleon?
Imperial Storm V
Deadline: Goodness knows.
URL: http://waroffice.minos.net.
Description: Big old wargame with the entire TIE Corps involved.
BGCOM's Legate
Deadline: Monthly.
Description: Titles for the top three pilots in the ASF each month. An IS-GW and the title of "BGCOM's Legate" for the winner.
Week of War Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1403.
Description: Iron Stars for ASF WoW winners! Hurray!
Recruitment Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1461.
Description: Recruit RSVists and help CTs train to help the ASF! Do it for the Flight! Do it for the Squadron! Do it for the Wing! Do it for the ship! Do it for the division! Do it for the club! Do it for your loved ones! Do it for the Emperor! Do it for the Fleet Commander! Do it for Vader! Whatever helps, really.
Battlegroup Commander's Office
Imperial Storm V has started, so keep on your toes for the next while in case we bump into an enemy fleet. If we are engaged, specific instructions will be posted, stamped and mailed by the Pony Express.
Apparently I've been hearing that the Zone rooms won't last forever. Perhaps Microsoft had a precedent to shut it down when the EH won the WoWs - just kidding. Anyway, this opens the chance for some hotshot programming prodigy to come out of the woodwork and magically program a fancy new Zone-type program which will revolutionize everything. I wish, I really do. We'll see.
Since I know now that Airyu and perhaps others actually read this section, I feel an immense obligation to say something worthwhile and profound to keep them from beating their heads against their desks as I did earlier in the report (my head still hurts, mind you). Well, here's something pretty funny: Have a look at the latest MO Report, paying close attention to the banner. I'm sure you'll notice what I have in mind, and I can't look at it without breaking down and laughing until my lungs hurt at the immense irony.
Picture of the Week
Number One Reason for Joining the Empire:
Aggressor Strike Force
ISD Grey Wolf - 43
ISD Intrepid - 40
ISD Vanguard - 49
ISD Predator - 38
Avenger Squadron - 6
In the service of hotshot programming prodigies,
Admiral Khadgar
Aggressor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander
BGCOM-FOA-COOA-PROF/AD Khadgar/Aggressor Strike Force
GOE/GS/SSx6/BSx6/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-2BW-8BR-1SW-7SR-1GW-1GR-1PR/LoC-IS-CSx5-Rx3/CoL/CoB/LoAx32/OV-4E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2/3-TT-VBS-XTM/1}