Pilot's Lounge
LucasArts compared to Jar Jar Binks:
Role
Jar Jar Binks: Annoying tag along.
LucasArts: Semi-annoying computer gaming corporation.
Winner: LucasArts. We want them to tag along to a certain extent, since they helped this club get a start.
Finest Hour
Jar Jar Binks: Wasn't cut from Episode III.
LucasArts: Adventure and Flight Simulator classics.
Winner: LucasArts. Posterity wins the day.
Habit
Jar Jar Binks: Sticks his tongue out at sucker movie goers.
LucasArts: Sticks their tongue out at sucker gamers.
Winner: None, both are sufficiently seething.
Recent Claim to Fame
Jar Jar Binks: Apparently he's a Senator in Episode III? - "Meesah Sinitar Jah Jah?"
LucasArts: They entered the saturated online RPG market.
Winner: Jar Jar Binks. At least Palpatine can exploit Jar Jar in his bid for power.
Vile Tendency
Jar Jar Binks: Butchers the English language.
LucasArts: Cancels games. "Sam and Max? What's that?"
Winner: LucasArts. We have the first Sam and Max game, but there's only one English language. Please don't kill it.
Ultimate Goal
Jar Jar Binks: To be named Chief Idiot of the Gungan village.
LucasArts: The search for more money.
Winner: LucasArts. We only have to give them money if we want to. We have to listen to Jar Jar either way.
Appeal
Jar Jar Binks: A child of four?
LucasArts: Old codgers searching the internet for "The Secret of Monkey Island", "Loom", Indiana Jones games, etc. Apparently also this club.
Winner: LucasArts. Another victory for posterity.
Dark Secret
Jar Jar Binks: He's really just a bumbling idiot that shouldn't be a Senator or anything else. Wait, that's a secret?
LucasArts: They've published games with Jar Jar in them!
Winner: Jar Jar Binks. Who's more of a fool, the fool, or the fool who follows him?
Saving Grace
Jar Jar Binks: If I find one, I'll let you know.
LucasArts: Star Wars: Battlefront might be nifty.
Winner: LucasArts, because they actually have one.
By a score of 6-2, LucasArts mops the floor with Jar Jar Binks.
Letters from the Cardinal...
More music from Episode III:
Age of the Empire
To the tune of Age of Aquarius
When the Senate is in the jail house
And Alderaan aligns with the Death Star
Then fear will rule the planets
And the fleet will shoot from afar.
This is the dawning of the Age of the Empire!
The Age of the Empire!
Empire! Empire!
Larceny and reprimanding
Villainy and mistrust abounding
No more trade goods or rations
Only evil sith visions
Hectic Stormtrooper occupation
And the population's true degradation
Empire! Empire!
News
- People have been astonishing me by actually submitting to the Aggressor. Wowy, at this rate, we may have something to show the fleet.
- XWA WoW is on. Congratulations to Nightmare, Dax Corrin and Fox Malloy who will be getting XvT WoW ISs!
- Congratulations to Sickman, who is a victim-erm-benefactor of the new general policy towards generally appointing more Generals within the general ranks of the TIE Corps. - Marcus Caine is on leave and Bubba was named "Acting Sucker-Erm-Wing Commander" of the Predator.
- We have 100 XvT-TC battles now. These used to be known as TC-XvT battles before the CAT (formerly the TAC), decided to do everything backwards.
War Room
Groucho: Awfully decent of you to drop in today. Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
Chico: I've done it already.
Groucho: You've done what?
Chico: I've changed to the other side.
Groucho: So you're on the other side, eh? Well, what are you doing over here?
Chico: Well, the food is better over here.
BGCOM's Legate
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1487.
Description: Titles for the top three pilots in the ASF each month. An IS-GW and the title of "BGCOM's Legate" for the winner.
Week of War Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1403.
Description: Iron Stars for ASF WoW winners! Hurray!
Recruitment Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1461.
Description: Recruit RSVists and help CTs train to help the ASF! Do it for the Flight! Do it for the Squadron! Do it for the Wing! Do it for the ship! Do it for the division! Do it for the club! Do it for your loved ones! Do it for the Emperor! Do it for the Fleet Commander! Do it for Vader! Whatever helps, really.
Battlegroup Commander's Office
First off, congratulations to ASF WoW participants and Aggressor submitters, you're certainly worth a sentence of praise this week. If you're a CMDR and reading this, your top priority is to do the commendable thing and commendably get those Commendations of Loyalty submitted in a commendable fashion (hey, you opted to read this thing). After that, it's nearly that time again. The time when CMDRs go on leave, run to the Bahamas, and generally anything else to avoid MSEs. As in vain as this may be, maybe don't avoid it instead? Please? Remember to count Freeworlds and Sam and Max Hit the Road activity (chalk up another one for posterity)!
Picture of the Week
Aggressor Strike Force
ISD Grey Wolf - 43
ISD Intrepid - 41
ISD Vanguard - 49
ISD Predator - 36
Avenger Squadron - 6
In the service of posterity,
Admiral Khadgar
Aggressor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander
BGCOM-FOA-COOA-PROF/AD Khadgar/Aggressor Strike Force
GOE/GS/SSx6/BSx6/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-2BW-8BR-1SW-7SR-1GW-1GR/LoC-IS-CSx5-Rx3/CoL/CoB/LoAx32/OV-4E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2/3-TT-VBS-XTM/1}