Pilot's Lounge
The Galactic Empire compared to the Rebel Alliance:
Basic Principles
Galactic Empire: Oppress, tax, destroy, conquer and instill fear.
Rebel Alliance: Save the Ewoks.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. Who wants to save the Ewoks?
Central Authority
Galactic Empire: A black-robed, lightning-shooting, old man with absolute power.
Rebel Alliance: Committees.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. Power corrupts, and absolute power is even nicer.
Finest Hour
Galactic Empire: Walkers and Stormtroopers that actually blended in decimate a Rebel stronghold on Hoth.
Rebel Alliance: Some fighters shoot up a shaft in the Death Star II.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. Imperial troops have won the category, Imperial troops-*bzzzz*.
Most Respected Figure
Galactic Empire: A man dressed entirely in black that wears a cape and chokes officers he doesn't like.
Rebel Alliance: A farm-boy with teen angst.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. There will be no one to stop us this category!
Theme Music
Galactic Empire: The Imperial March.
Rebel Alliance: Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. Which sounds more imposing going into battle?
Superweapon
Galactic Empire: The Death Star.
Rebel Alliance: The fact that the Death Star is always written in with poor shafts.
Winner: The Rebel Alliance. Fix the shafts, will you?
Intelligence
Galactic Empire: Some guy with a big snout.
Rebel Alliance: The Bothans.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. At least the guy with the snout does what he's told and doesn't try to take control.
Armed Forces
Galactic Empire: White men that can't aim.
Rebel Alliance: The Jedis.
Winner: The Rebel Alliance. As annoying as the Jedis are, at least they connect with the target!
Fleet
Galactic Empire: Star Destroyers.
Rebel Alliance: Mon Calamari Cruisers.
Winner: The Galactic Empire. Swift, knife-shaped death against bulges.
By a score of 7-2, the Empire wins! Guess you're in the right place, right?
Letters from the Cardinal...
In order to appeal to younger audiences, LucasFilm has teamed with Disney to bring you Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. The film will feature musical numbers:
I Just Can't Wait to be Emperor
Palpatine: I'm going to a mighty Emperor, so enemies beware!
Mon Mothma: Well, I've never seen a ruler with quite so little care.
Palpatine: I'm going to be the Emperor, like no ruler was before.
Palpatine: I'm brushing up on my evil stare, I'm working on my war.
Mon Mothma: Thus far, it's been pretty much a bore.
Palpatine: I just can't wait to be Emperor!
Palpatine: No one saying free this...
Palpatine: No one saying be fair...
Palpatine: No one saying stop that...
Palpatine: No one saying see here...
Palpatine: Free to oppress all day!
Palpatine: Free to do it my way!
Mon Mothma: I think it's time to goto the Senate and take part.
Palpatine: Emperors don't need advice from old maids, for a start! Mon Mothma: If this is where the Republic is headed, count me out!
Mon Mothma: Out of service, out of Coruscant! I wouldn't hang about.
Mon Mothma: This old Emperor's got clones galore.
Palpatine: I just can't wait to be Emperor!
News
- Legates: Dax Corrin, Nightmare, S 4patas. Tribunes: Thomas O'Deevs, Space, Azrael, and Centurion: SavageAz. Congratulations to all!
- Commendation of Loyalty time is upon us. Three people from each wing and one from Avenger will be getting these.
- In a related item to the above, that Grand Admiral of Grand Admirals, that club manager of mirth, Ronin, has had another birthday. Happy Birthday, if the people way up above monitor these reports (Outlook: Doubtful).
- Sarin's on honeymoon, and he left Khadgar to run the Combat Operations Office. Head for the hills.
- Logistics Officer is open. The job description is, "Publish elaborate details in reports about projects that are perhaps started, but certainly never finished to any great degree". Apply to the FC and XO if interested.
- The Summer Patrol continues on. Hang in there, participants, there's light at the end of the tunnel. It comes in the form of a nice, shining, Iron Star - Gold Wings. I can see it now, glowing in the artifical Star Destroyer light. Don't you want that?
War Room
Only the dead have seen the end of Iron Stars. - Plato?
BGCOM's Legate
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1487.
Description: Titles for the top three pilots in the ASF each month. An IS-GW and the title of "BGCOM's Legate" for the winner.
Week of War Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1403.
Description: Iron Stars for ASF WoW winners! Hurray!
Recruitment Incentive
Deadline: Monthly.
URL: http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1461.
Description: Recruit RSVists and help CTs train to help the ASF! Do it for the Flight! Do it for the Squadron! Do it for the Wing! Do it for the ship! Do it for the division! Do it for the club! Do it for your loved ones! Do it for the Emperor! Do it for the Fleet Commander! Do it for Vader! Whatever helps, really.
Night of the Monks
Deadline: Each Friday at 3 AM - 6 AM EST.
Description: Weekly Multiplayer competition! Held in #EHCOC on IRC.
Battlegroup Commander's Office
Things in the ASF have been trudging along nicely. I've been impressed with all the recruitment efforts I've been seeing. Remember that if you convince someone from the RSVs to come back, or train a CT that joins us, mail me. I give out Iron Stars for recruitment!
Other than that - For CoLs, talk to your COM and WC if you're CMDR about how they want to select the three CoLs from their wing. Oh, and that Imperial Storm wargame is coming up, so stay tuned for that.
Picture of the Week
Aggressor Strike Force
ISD Grey Wolf - 43
ISD Intrepid - 38
ISD Vanguard - 48
ISD Predator - 36
Avenger Squadron - 5
In the service of absolute power,
Admiral Khadgar
Aggressor Strike Force Battlegroup Commander
BGCOM-FOA-COOA-PROF/AD Khadgar/Aggressor Strike Force
GOE/GS/SSx6/BSx6/PCx8/ISMx16/MoT-2gh/IS-2BW-8BR-1SW-7SR-1GW-1GR/LoC-IS-CSx5-Rx3/CoL/CoB/LoAx32/OV-4E
[ARCN] {IWATS-AIM-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-M/1/2-PHP-SM/2/3-TT-VBS-XTM/1}