SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 4-29-03

COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- The Sovereign has a second standing MP competition event in the Combat Operations Office calendar. It is the Sovereign Ace Competition at 13:30 - 17:00 EST each Tuesday in #ehcoc. Congrats and thanks to CM Per-Aa for getting this started.

-- Sovereign Squadron League round 4 is in progress. Fly TIE-Free 183, XvT-Free 135, and XWA-Free 98 and submit them by May 9. Round 3 results coming soon.

-- Operation Outrageous Fortune featured another XWA battle last week -- the Blue Team's DREAD took out the Red Team's M/FRG. The fleets continue to jockey for space superiority and planetary resources.

-- MAJ Devin Taralis is the new commander of Wing V! He has received the appropriate welcomes from the Sov flag officers, and he is busy serving us drinks, in his role as The New Guy. Taralis has a big job ahead of him, as The Hammer's Hellfighters are down to 22 pilots. Everyone on the ship please assist Taralis as you can in re-energizing one of the fleet's most storied wings.

-- CPT Tempest is A-WC of Wing II because of GN Stele's connection problems.

-- Rat Pack vs Wing IV CMDRs. Flying TIE free mission 202, deadline May 15.

-- Climb into a TIE cockpit, pilots, and just about anything can happen!! Like, even the grizzled geezer Sovereign commodore can still get a high score now and then. Recently I advanced to Paladin FCHG and along the way racked up three high scores. Wheeee, these newfangled flying machines handle well after I have too much Yukon Jack :)

-- One of the battles I flew, I must take a moment to recommend: TC-TIE Battle 201 by COL Beef. It's 30 missions long, and you need to install the Shuttlefly patch. This is probably the most creative battle I've seen. There are lots of cool technical tricks and the story is engaging throughout. A handful of the missions are very tough; on two, I even had to resort to invulnerability to get a mission complete on easy.

-- Speaking of flying: I have seen a lot of e-mail traffic lately about pilots not being able to run TIE, or not being able to know how to load XWA EH missions. Basic stuff we all need to be able to participate. WCs and CMDRs, it is vital that these pilots receive adequate assistance. You can always start by referring them to the "how to" section of the Tactical Manual:
http://www.emperorshammer.net/tac/tac-man/howtoplay.html

-- The attached photo is of LC Todbringer and MAJ Artyis, seen fraternizing with some local fauna, and relates to a thread in the Cantina Comments below.

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
WC/MAJ Devin Taralis/Wing V
CMDR/CM Ky Terrak/Sadhe

SSSD Sovereign [173]

Wing I [30]
Wing II [37]
Wing III [37]
Wing IV [45]
Wing V [23]

Omega Squadron [8]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Sovereign Ace Multiplayer Competition, Each Tuesday at 13:30 - 17:00 EST.
-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in
#ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time.
-- Sovereign Squadron League, round 4 under way. Pilots, fly free missions TIE-Free 183, XvT-Free 135, and XWA-Free 98 and send the pilot file(s) to your CMDR by May 9.
-- SBOTM: The SBOTM is on hiatus for the duration of the Squadron League season. Watch for the return of the SBOTM in September.

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://boards.minos.net
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

TRASH TALK OF THE WEEK

"We are just giving you a fighting chance. We will storm back and take
this competition. (note to self: Bribe or knock off competition
officials)
We have some open FM spots if you want to come over Argon. I believe
you may be trainable and could possibly be acceptable as an Alpha
pilot. (note to self: Find the monkey training book)" -LCM Kahooli

" You know, as long as the numbers back me up (and trust me, they do), I see no need to dignify that with a response. Get your scores up you Emu* ;P ...
PS - In case no reference was caught, an Emu is a flightless bird. I hope you can figure it out from there ;) " -MAJ Argon Viper

"Well, congrats, Kronar, you have defeated Argon Viper and have gained the
honor of trying to defeat me now. Good luck. Pick your death. I'll be
waiting." -LC Mike Chistu

COMBAT DEBRIEFING OF THE WEEK

"Too many craptacular XWA missions out there." -LC Freelancer

CANTINA COMMENTS

" To: LC Mike Chistu
From: Maj "Saint" Nebular
News of my death is greatly exagerated STOP
I am back from leave STOP
Get Freelancer out of my office by the time I get there STOP
If he doesn't leave please get some pants on him STOP " -MAJ Nebular

" To:MAJ "Saint" Nebular
From: LC Mike Chistu
Glad to hear you are back from leave STOP
Freelancer will not leave office STOP
Socktroopers moving in to remove Freelancer STOP
News of pants being on Freelancer is greatly exagerated STOP " -LC Mike Chistu

" To: LC Mike Chistu
Re: Pants and office relinquish
Am not wearing pants. Stop. You are asking me to. Stop. Stop. Stop.
Am wearing kilt just to avoid pants. Stop.
Office in horrible condition. Stop. Have not been inside for a month.
Stop. The plants started taking over. Stop. I got scared. Stop." -LC Freelancer

" To: MAJ "Saint" Nebular
From: LC Freelancer
Am being hurt by socks. Stop. I do not mean the smell. Stop. Please
send backup. Stop. HEEELLLLP. Stop." -LC Freelancer

"To: MAJ Nebular
Re: KIA LC Freelancer
Situation taken care of STOP
Bringing hoses to clean up the mess STOP
Office will be ready tomorrow STOP" -LC Mike Chistu

" /me looks up from putting plants on Freelancer. Oh, pants ;P " -MAJ Argon Viper

" "Yes yes, that is all true. BUT SINCE I AM THE ALPHA COMMANDER, I HAVE
COMPLETE CONTROL OVER THAT PARTICULAR AIRLOCK!!!!! And yes they have
attacked. Yes, that is my bloody form crawling away from a well fought
battle. Yes, that is me grinning madly at the victory, however short. And
yes, I am loosing what small mind I may have -- but even then it is
better
than Argons!" -MAJ Talons Pryde "
Does anyone else feel this quote has been done completely wrong???
Surely it should be Yes they have taken the airlock, however we will not
fail, we have the right of god, we have just launched a counter attack and
have removed their vile presence from the airlock. They shall burn inside
their Armoured vehicles. * just as at that moment Proton in his armoured
vehicle goes rolling behind Talons as he is giving the speech*. " -COL Jon "the information minister" Doyle

"Well, in order to be more original, let me be the first to offer SL Kosin a ceremonial heavy rocket, carved with the squadron crest, to wear on his or her belt. :)
Er...just don't jump up and down too vigorously when you're wearing it....
It PROBABLY won't explode. But it might take your pants down...." -COL Inkwolf

"/me looks at what Proton has in the closet. Hmmm, must be into S&M or something ;P " -MAJ Argon "probably a dead man now" Viper

"WOOHOO!!! Ownage!!! /me gets up on a chair to party but loses his balance. On the way down, Argon hits a table. On the way farther down, he crashes down on Freelancer, who was lying in that spot, passed out, from the night before. Bouncing off (we all know that Freelancer bounces ;P), he flies over the bar and crashes into the drinks, burying himself in a virtual waterfall of broken glass and booze ;P " -MAJ Argon "the bartender is gonna kill me" Viper

"I have to believe that posting a picture like that under the guise of Babes of the week, is fully deserving of two or three rank DEmotions!
Talk about icing the kicker....." -AD CYRIC

"*pays for all damages*
I *am* the richest person in the WIng, all I do is drink this slop you call, water and I dare not eat those Palpatine Fries, I think they have something living in them..." -CM Sirik

"Don't look at me! Ballista is the keeper of the COM's closet :)" -AD Proton

"W-W-W-W-W-What's Ballista doing putting her things in your closet?
(*Horrible yet tantalizing at the same time mental image*) " -LC Freelancer

"/me shouldn't have gone drinking again this week... but how could he pass
up another party? Plus Verizon screwing around with his DSL isn't helping..." -COL Brian

"I think I said it already, but Verizon DSL, you may burn in hell..." -COL Brian

"Rar. Last place. I am teh bestest. ph34r m3." -CPT Flelm

"Actually, it's not too bad ... nothing several buckets of WD-40 can't loosen up.
Get it? ...T/I ... rust bucket ... buckets of WD-40 ... loosen up ... Grue made a funny ... why are you not laughting ... damit ... Grue made a funny ... Grrrrrrr" -CPT Night Grue

"Or simply send 12 monthly instalments of just $99.95...that's right, just
$99.95!!!...and Brandon himself will call you and deliver his sage and
life-changing advice to you IN PERSON (you heard right kiddo...Me, your
doorstep...dream do come true!). You'll also be the proud recipient of a
set of limited edition Brandon Office Supply collectibles (wallchart,
postits, stationary, dartboard)...YOU, yes YOU now have the opportunity to
amaze your friends with usless Star Wars knowledge, startle your collegues
with a dizzy blonde intellect and deter potential romance by smelling like a
kebab..Apply now to avoid disappointment, the 'Brandon Tipfest collection'
is the definitive guide to learning how to love TIE and appreciate the
subtle complexity of daytime chatshows. Accept no imitations." -MAJ Brandon

" Ah, time to check the email again.
Let's see here ... spam ... spam ... spam ... EH stuff ... spam ... spam
... hey, wait! This spam looks like it came from Brandon! Hmmm ... but it
does seem like a good offer ;-) " -COL Sasquatch

"Official results will be out just as soon as you guys stop buying drinks for Todbringer. Honestly, how can he run the SSL if you never let him out of the cantina? ;-) " -COL Sasquatch

"LOL! :) Don't you worry, I am capable of handling any amount of liquor...!
;) A small picture in an attachement as a proof - the guy on the left with a
tatoo on right arm is me. Note, that there are two 1 liter and four 0.5
liter bottles of vodka along with a few beer cans on the table. This was not
everything we had there, of course... ;) " -LC Todbringer

"Is that guy bowing down to your almighty drinking abilities or...errr...taking a picture of that slice of, umm, cheesecake?" -MAJ Brandon

"I forgot to tell ya - this bowing guy is MAJ Artyis actually... :) " -LC Todbringer

"Never mind about Artyis, tell us who the girls are! ;) ....Maybe we should
invite THEM to join Omega... ;) LOL " -LC Manijak

"dude looks like the canines' danglers to me...go 4 it!" -MAJ Brandon

"Welcome Devin, is my butt mark/groove still embedded on the WC's seat in
Airlock#21?
Not that i sat around there all day propping up the bar when i was
there.......ahem:P " -VA Sickman

"/me looks at the bar tab that Sickman still owes on the Sov and wonders how
many years he'll have to serve as a COM just to pay it off. :P " -VA Wil Striker

"We have to pay these back? /me faints... " -LC Mike Chistu

"My bureaucracy droid is still ensuring that SickMan's paycheck is
garnished ... finally the Sov cantina balances are returning to normal ;)
... Sicky thought he was skipping out scot free, muahahaha :) " -AD Proton

"Well I for one believe I payed off my tab before running off to some other
ship. At least *some* of us are responsible. ;) " -RA Jahan Kalar

"Well, WingVers still use Sickys credit card he left them :p
Everything was spent on beer, and bikinis, and girls in bikinis!" -MAJ Wolvie

"mmmmmmm
Girls in Bikinis" -VA SickMan

"ya, it seems that the rest of the flags in the fleet also go by this tradition, oh well. /me sighs as his bank account gets smaller and smaller
/me also grabs a few server droids to start handing out drinks" -MAJ Devin Taralis

"By the way, did anyone notice that shuttle that just blew up?
It contained my alcohol stash, that you guys never found when I was WC.
Yeah, I bet you wonder where I kept it, don't you?
I kept about 1/4 of it under Free's bunk and the rest of it I kept in Argon's quarters (as he's never there).
Why did it blow up? I switched to milk.
(Don't worry, Kronar, I've ordered an expansion of the milk cooler in the Cantina.) " -COL Gen (Yeah, Quik just came out with powdered vanilla too!) Es'mith

"Those clever bums! VANILLA! Damn those Rebels and their oh-so-sweet
technological leaps!" -LC Freelancer

" 8 months earlier!
*Sirik looks under Argon's bed*
Hmmm, what's in this crate?
*opens crate*
Bah, just a bunch of bottles labeled 'Gen's Private Stash' ah well.
*puts crate back under bed and walks off to anger managemnet*
Present day!
Well, that's what that wa-, er, I'm going to go to Hoth until these Bounty posters come down, cya! :P " -CM Sirik

"Admit it ... you were listening to Lynard Skynard as you drove him home,
right? ;-) " -COL Sasquatch

"LOL! I can see one drunk guy driving the passed-out drunk guy home.. singing "Sweet Home Alabama!" hehehe thats great :P " -VA Joe

"I think that Major Turr has MORE than made up for his last "blunder" from the last report!" -AD Cyric

LYNYRD SKYNYRD LYRICS OF THE WEEK

Well, I'll tell you plainly baby
What I plan to do
'Cause I may be crazy baby
But I ain't no fool
Your daddy's rich, mama
You're overdue
But I ain't the one, baby
Been messing with you
Got bells in your mind, mama
So won't you pardon me
I think it's time for me to move along
I do believe

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COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
SSx4/BS/PC/ISMx2/IS-1BW-1SW/CoL/OV-3E [PLDN] {IWATS-FLA-RT-SM/2}