Quote of the Week
" what walks on 2 legs and bleeds?"
"a dog cut in half"
(seen on #tiecorps earlier this week)

Fleet News
-Despite the attempts of the Evil Microsoft Empire, the Zone has left up the game rooms for both XWA and XvT. They can be found at http://zone.msn.com/directplay/default.asp?TAd=1. For those of you who haven't been drinking lately, then yes, this is a new url for them.
-Everyone remember our second favorite COM (next to me of course), Darksaber. Well, it appears that someone in the CS got whacked over the head and promoted him to Admiral. To celebrate, he's throwing a MP comp party in #ehcoc on Sunday. Everyone go beat up on the poor ASF'ers that show up.
-The CA:TAC has resigned as he pursues his lifelong dream of rat farming. No news yet on a replacement TAC Slave.
-Our Mighty FO has addressed the fleet at http://www.ehnet.org/mb/viewtopic.php?t=6302. Everyone is encouraged to go and read it.

News That You Can Use
-We've got a new pilot in Demon. LCM Lirak is an old Demon veteran who has returned to show off his l33t flying skillz for us. Once he returns from his traditional "Immortal Suicide Mission", he'll be ready to rock and roll.
-Activity was incredible this last month. I want to congratulate everyone for being so active. Once all the MSE's are in, medals will be awarded.

COM's Advice
This is a new portion of the COM's Report. If you have any questions that you need advice too, just email me your questions and I'll include them in future reports:

Dear COM,
I've been seeing this girl recently, but some of the other guys are making fun of her hairy legs. What can I do about it?
-Anonymous
Well, Gutt, monkey love is not for everyone. Just get your ape a new razor and hope that fixes the problem.

Dear COM,
No one wants to hang around with me? Is there something wrong with me? If so, what can I do about it?
-Anonymous
One word.....deoderant.

Ship News
-LT (I'm always eating) Aresis was found sleeping in the mess hall. When he was awaked, he claimed that he was just trying to be first in line for breakfast.
-MAJ (Flaming Foot) Nuno was seen in the hangar as he desparately rubbed some sort of liquid on his shoe. A few minutes later, he was spotted running down a hall with one shoe on fire...
-LC (I'm always bored) Mark finally woke from his week's long coma long enough to go on patrol. His cmdr was seen in her room dancing with joy

Competition Corner
-GN Badlands has started a Wing Comp. The first stage is a run-on on our MB's. It can be found at http://www.ehnet.org/mb/viewtopic.php?t=6055.
-A new comp will be starting soon. It will be a simplified wargame competition where each squadron will command a fleet of ships. After 1 month, the squadron that has captured the most planet's will win. The rules have been sent to your squadron commanders for a final evaluation before we begin.

Communications
-If you don't have IRC, go to www.mirc.com and download mIRC. Once you install it, connect to the undernet and go to channel #isd_immortal to meet your fellow pilots.
-If you aren't able to download mIRC, go to http://emperorshammer.org/chat1.html and use the java applet there.
-Our Message Board can be found at http://www.ehnet.org/mb/viewforum.php?f=28.