SSSD Sovereign Report # 90 (2003-06-17)

This report was submitted by AD Proton


SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 6-17-03

COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- Sovereign Squadron League round 7 is in progress. Deadline: June 20. Assignments are XvT-FREE 118, TIE-FREE 221 and XWA-FREE 102. Note: This is the next-to-last round of the regular season. If your squadron hopes to qualify for the playoffs, it must finish in the top eight in one of the divisions!

-- GN Stele Pellaeon has received approval to conduct a flight competition aboard the Sovereign starting June 21 and running through Aug. 24. It is the General's Summer Sovereign Patrol. Pilots will need to fly seven missions each week, to be submitted each Sunday to Stele. Those who cannot meet the required weekly patrol orders are dropped from the competition. Those who survive to the end will receive an Iron Star-Gold Wings! I think this is a great event to keep flight activity at high levels on the flagship as the Sovereign Squadron League regular season winds down. More from GN Stele:
"Sign up here! http://theholo.net/mb/viewtopic.php?t=7215 The Summer Patrol starts the 21st of June, this saturday, so sign up now or never! This may be your one and only chance to get an Iron Star Gold Wing that will be well deserved."

-- Lots of good wing comps under way, too. This week's example, the Summer Bash in Wing IV being run by MAJ Wolverine:
"This compeition is going on between the squadrons of Wing IV. Each pilot
of designated squadron can earn points for usual TC activities:
* 1 point for flying one mission,
* 5 points for one LoC earned,
* 10 points for writing a fiction (must concern the wing),
* 10 points for IWATS course passed,
* 10 points for designing graphics (about StarWars, prefferably the
wing),
* 30 points for designing one mission (prefferably - the mission
plotline must concern the wing) "

-- EH message boards can be found here while minos.net is down:
http://theholo.net/mb/

-- GA Ronin's CafePress EH gear store (used to help generate funds for the ongoing operation of the club) is getting an addition to the Sovereign Gear section!!! LCM Luca Fett of Psi Squadron has created a ship logo that the GA will use to feature a new line of flagship gear. Wings I, II and V also have logo gear available. Check it out here -- if the Sov emblem gear is not available yet, it will be soon, according to the GA:
http://www.cafeshops.com/emperor

-- CPT BubbaX is running a "Nun Beer Corporation" title comp, LOL!

-- CM Sirik Xirox is running a "Gamma Weekly Recons" comp.

-- CM Per-Aa has been taken before the High Court of Inquisitors on a number of alleged AoW violations.

-- LC Mike is on leave this week. COL Gen Es'mith is Wing I A/WC.

-- Rat Pack vs. Wing V CMDRs. Flying TIE Free 227. Deadline is June 22. Sasquatch is Top Gun so far, and I have flown it too. The rest of you Rats, fly like hell!

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/SL Rollo Tomassi/Sadhe 1-2
CMDR/LCM Lirak Kalist/Beth
FL/LCM Mayk Drazzic/Kaph 2-1

-- Our force strength is unchanged in the past week. I haven't seen much evidence of active recruitment lately; I caution against complacency and summer doldrums. Everyone should be recruiting! Some of the very most active pilots on the ship right now are new recruits. These pilots are vital new blood, and we need more of them!

-- LC Wolverine has complete control of the La-Z-WC. He has an 11-pilot lead on his nearest competitor. The rest of you WCs are going to get mighty uncomfortable on those hardwood barstools. Let's see you try to knock Wolvie out of the couch-potato recliner!

SSSD Sovereign [161]

Wing I [29]
Wing II [34]
Wing III [32]
Wing IV [45]
Wing V [20]

Omega [10]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Sovereign Ace Multiplayer Competition, Each Tuesday at 13:30 - 17:00 EST.
-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in
#ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time.
-- Sovereign Squadron League, round 7 under way. Pilots, fly free missions TIE-Free 221, XvT-Free 118, and XWA-Free 102 and send the pilot file(s) to your CMDR by June 20.

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://boards.minos.net
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

COMMAND RANT OF THE WEEK

"If you're not sure about anything in terms of procedure, then ask! Don't make me curse your existence :P" -HA Priyum

"The Alpha Commander is on leave, and as XO taking command until he returns, I order everyone to FLY. The cattle prods are charged up and we will see some activity or face the consequences.
Have a nice day." -LCM Kahooli

COMBAT DEBRIEFING OF THE WEEK

"Some disturbing radio chatter about squirrels will show up ... I have no idea what that's about." -GN Sasquatch

TRASH TALK OF THE WEEK

"WOOO!!!! Eat that Red team!! Hehehe, I was a blue team TFA for this comp ;) Hey, why are you all looking at me like that.. Wait a second... /me takes off running just as several glasses pass through the air where he used to be. Maybe a bit too much...? ;P" -MAJ Argon "on the lam again" Viper

CANTINA COMMENTS

"What other squad can say that? (Command types need not apply - suckas!)" -GN Devin

"DE-FAULT! (/Homer Simpson)
From the latest Sov report:
"Rat Pack vs. Wing IV CMDRs. I'm declaring Wing IV's CMDRs the winner by
default because the Rat Pack coordinator responsible*cough*could not
produce the Rats' results after lengthy delays."
Score another win for superior record-keeping! :P" -LC Philo

"oh...actually i thought "free food" or "free money" were the best two words
in the english language...hmm..." -MAJ David

"Brian, I don't have enough to get you a cow like Ras ... all I could
afford was this Twi'lek dancing girl. I hope you don't mind ;-)
And Ras ... you do realize that you have to name your cow. Make it a
good one!
The cow can stay in the Omega 2-4 quarters ... FOR NOW. You did make
sure that Artyis had all his stuff out of there, right?" -GN Sasquatch

"Priyum: Sir, we're under attack! It looks like
there's no hope!
Ronin: We need Wing II. Activate the Bat Signal, Admiral!" -COL Inkwolf

"Hee Hee. I can just see us with a Bat Signal. Except that the bat would have wiritng on it saying that if Wing II saves the Sov, we get free beer. Yes that makes perfect sense.
*Goes back to planning his commando raid on the EH Command Staff Liquor Reserve.* " -Ninj

"I always wondered what the big red button with "Gravity Well Generator On/Off" on the main bridge was for...... ;)" -LC Mickk Emrys

" **stares at Emrys, yells for stormtroopers**
What is that officer doing looking at the controls on my bridge!?! Get
him off the bridge, now!!!
**Leans back in command chair, guzzles from Yukon Jack tumbler, bumps
axial superlaser trigger, vaporizing nearby planet**
Oops ;) " -AD Proton

"Also, with our drunken repair crews, it's probably common that the grav
well generators on our INTs just fail on their own during combat ;)" -AD "designed some buggy missions once" Proton

"Running through the Wing I passage, Kahooli could be heard yelling
"Two weeks with no presence from the great Kahooli in the weekly
newsletter. I am now back from RL leave, have dusted off my fighter
and had the oil changed. Kahooli is ready to fly again. Kahooli is
ready to force his comments on the message board." -LCM Kahooli

"What the hell??!? We have to change our own oil? OH CRAP! No wonder
mine hasn't been flying lately!" -LC Freelancer

"The Alpha Squadron secret...change the oil and split fire spark
plugs. The bourbon in the fuel tanks helps as well." -LCM Kahooli

"I dont think the "mooing" noises will be a problem.. unless its a male cow.. then when Ras tries to milk it.. well.. nevermind....." -AD Joe

"::Pours the "white substance of death" on Ras' head:: " -AD Joe

"For anyone's information my gift was specified as being a cow. Bull's aren't cows.. They're both cattle however :P
Hmm I need to get a milkmaid... Was Calli joining or what? :P
Uhh.. and as to Artyis' stuff.. uh.. *closes the door to the 2-4 quarters*
Now.. to think of a name.. Maybe Calli would join if we named a cow in her honour? (and yes that's honour with a u!)
*ponders* " -CM Ras Kronar

"We're working on it. I'll ask if she's ever had any secret fantasies about being a milkmaid, and then tell her that I know a guy with a cow who could make it all come true ..." -GN Sasquatch

" What's the nameless cow chewing on? Is that Artyis' dress uniform!?" -GN Sasquatch

".... uuhhm..... Ras, take that bovine OUT of the uniforms, or I shall torn it to pieces not greater than a typical confetti with my lightsabre.
- X "the histerical taylor" -LC Ixion "Deathbringer"

"For months now, we've had absolutely no sexist comments ... then, all of
a sudden ... WHAM! There's at least four of 'em everyday now. I blame the
milk." -GN Sasquatch

"Right, naming a cow after her.. i think she might take that personally :P" -AD Joe

"Twi'lek girl, eh...? Not bad, boss, not bad at all...! :) She's a mammal,
right? She's a female, right...? So, you can milk her too, after all
(obscene laughter comes here)... ;) " -Tod the Obscene

"Bwhahahaha I'd hate to be the one who tries to milk her... ummmm well.. actually ... ya know what, I'll just stop while im ahead.. or have a head.." -AD Joe

"I have nipples Tod, could you milk me?" -LC Janich

"Sure thing, Janich! :)
/Tod attaches a milking machine he saw once in a TV program about farmers to
Janich's nipples.
This ain't gotta hurt, really... ;) " -LC Todbringer

"Is this machine supposed to make so much noise? (to the accompanied whiz,
humm, whistle and random pops of an overly large, agricultural, industrial,
shiny box the size of a TIE Guardian)" -LC Janich

"Actually, Grue is surprised that no one followed it up with the obvious question:
"Are you lactating?" -CPT Night Grue

"We are going to miss you and all of your pranks MD...does anyone know if Bubba ever made it back from the hutts? :P " -CM Ky Terrak

"*hands Brian disco lights for his TIE* " -(Proton lost name of this poster)

"Those would go great with the fuzzy dice Devin has in his." -GN Compton

"I have a Mr. T air freshener hanging in mine ;-) " -GN Sasquatch

"Well this is nice.
Grue is gone for two days with computer problems (Tie Fighter still is on the blink) and look what goes on!
Is Grue too late for the Twi'lek mil%ing party?" -CPT Night Grue :: eats cows when out of rebels ::

"I hope this isn't the Wemmel I'm thinking about. ::sees scenes from the past featuring Wemmel rubbing his hands and cackling in sadistic glee while looking at his latest medical experiment.....::: " -LC Mickk Emrys

"Hey! Roasty was the doc! I only handed him the instruments...OK, I forgot to clean them sometimes or put a mutagenous substance into the sedative njections, but that's all...
Oh, Mickk: how's your third eye, btw? it has been some time since I
had a look at it." -COL Jan "Doc Frankenstein" Wemmel

"Nah, I thought the EH was an equal opportunity fleet...?" -COL Brian

"Uhhm... do you mean that we should have also Twi'lek dancing boys too, for the joy of Callista? Sounds reasonable ;)" -LC Ixion

"I'd recommend Askajian species instead. The same that fat dancer in Jabba's
palace was.
They're six-breasted, you know... ;)" -MAJ Artyis

"I guess that would mean no more Twi'lek dancing girls, though ... >:| " -GN Sasquatch

"Wow! They can dance, too?!" -MAJ Artyis

"Maybe I'll sabotage the transfer, to make you stay? :)))" -LC Mayk Wolverine

"and the salary wasn't that good as RA... most of the money got used up for maintaining the Last Hope... but at least I still have the keys to the spice storage... for medical purposes, so don't try. I'm sick enough myself ;)" -COL Jan Wemmel

"Hope you passed your exams, Chief, it would be a shame to see you busted down to peeling potatoes with the Ewoks. ;)" -COL Inkwolf

"Need to start defenastrating some of my subordinates asses :p " -LC Mayk Wolverine

"Eeee, What the hell are you talking about ... Sir???" -LC Mayk Wolverine

" * Topic is 'Zekkie makes sweet love to Stele, produces small Zekklings to take over world (it's on CNN).' "

"HicRic: *thrashes around* I'm not mad! The brain pills see to that! *struggles against straight jacket*
ISA Guard 1: Yees, sir. The brain pills, sir.
ISA Guard 2: He's totally lost it.
HicRic: I haven't lost aaaanything! *thrashes*.
ISA 1: By the Emperor, he's foaming at the mouth!
ISA 2: Dooon't worry sir, we're here to help you! :D " -CM "legally sane" HicRic

"Everybody go eat Mexican, and think of me when you do." -MAJ Zekk Terrik

"I like my food like I like my women and my beer. Mexican." -MAJ Zekk Terrik

"Antidote?
That's what the alcohol stream in our bodies are for, and the little bit of
blood mixed in. :)" -COL Brian

"Wise Words From Bubba
Give Bubba a beer, and youll feed him for a few minutes. Give Bubba a
beer corporation, and youll drown the world in booze." -CPT BubbaX

"All you need to know about ScorpTroopers is :
A) They are scorpions.
B) They sting, pinch, and generally cause vast quantities of pain.
C) They are loyal to Kramer only.
D) Your best defense is to jab at them with sharp, pointy sticks.
E) Their only natural predator is a creature from their homeworld which
resembles a giant pink bunny. Thus, pink bunny pajamas are the only known
"scorp-repellant" outfit. Many pilots from Psi squadron were stung to bring
you this knowledge." -GN Sasquatch

"When Mon Mothma says the similar line (many bothans died to bring us this information, or something like that) she sounds and looks sooo funny.
It's almost like the imps stole her favourite teddy-bear or something. I think she was having "relations" with one (or more) of the bothans..." -CM Ras Kronar

"bags already packed,just say when (can i have a tie convertible and wear raybans)" -Arlins (have you seen my shorts)scabo

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COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
IC/SSx4/BS/PC/ISMx2/IS-1BW-1SW/CoL/OV-3E [PLDN] {IWATS-FLA-RT-SM/2}


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