SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 8-6-02

***
Jink? Forget it ... The sweating pilot fought the sluggish controls of the TIE Bomber as more laser blasts scuffed the fuselage and panels, rocking the officer as he tried to thumb his own blasts in return. His consolation was that his opponent also was flying one of the Emperor's cruel old ion-powered beer barrels ...
***

COM/VA Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

Wing commanders, pass this along to your squadrons, and cc: me on those mails.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- The Sovereign Bombing Run Blowout is going full blast, and as hoped has generated debate about the merits or lack thereof of unshielded craft, and specifically the TIE Bomber. All details of the competition can be reviewed on the War Room page of the Sov Web site at http://sov.minos.net.

-- Omega CMDR: General Compton, former longtime command staff member, including a stint as EH XO, has succeeded General Devin as commander of the elite Omega Squadron, the fleet commander's escort. Extreme congratulations to Compton! We're looking forward to big things from Omega in the weeks and months ahead.

-- The Sov has a new message board -- this time as part of the TC Message Center. Here's the direct link:
http://www.emperorshammer.net/mb/view.asp?b=102&v=2&s=0

-- Speaking of changes, just another reminder that I have changed my e-mail address to hullbreach@warpmail.net.

-- Temporary IWATS Site
03:39 - AD Mell Kerrigan [mell@tiecorps.org]
After a recent spell of bad links and 404's i have compiled a temporary list of all IWATS Courses and emails for the PROF's for each course, this link can be found at http://iwats.kweeky.net
if anyone has any problems with any course then please email the PROF, CCing me.

FORCE STRENGTH

-- A big Sovereign welcome to new or returning pilots:
FM/LT Pheniox/Alpha 1-4
FM/CM Nick Chi'Cath/Mem 3-2

-- COL Stele has yanked the La-Z-Wc away from GN SickMan, who must be concentrating a little too closely upon his beloved mug of beer ... which WC will be next to make a run for the coveted chair? C'mon, flags, you all need to get to at least 40 pilots as soon as you can manage it.

SSSD Sovereign [185]
Wing I [36]
Wing II [40]
Wing III [35]
Wing IV [37]
Wing V [36]

Omega Squadron [8]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Under way, the Sovereign Bombing Run Blowout. The competition will run for eight weeks. Elements will include four custom TIE free missions, an XWA ladder and fiction and art categories. Also, the winning squadron and wing in this event will be awarded the titles of COM's Own.

-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in #ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign

Message board:
http://boards.minos.net

The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

CANTINA COMMENTS

"Hope no one is too thirsty. LT pay isn't that good." -LT Kahooli

"Good MWE, SickMan, and you win the COM's Bucket of Beer for being first this month!! :) " -VA Proton

"MMMMmmmmmmmm Beeer:) " -GN SickMan

"You might also notice that my cute lil' mug is on the EH Baby page too...got
more of a chubby huttling rather than a demented ewok look about me, which
Grue has so admirably captured. I'm guessing you were bottle fed, right? :P"
-MAJ Brandon

"OUCH. My nipples hurt just reading that." -GN Compton

"Cat will be returning to active very-light duty soon,
Yay! Cat's coming back! Btw, Gen. That's Talon's girlfriend/fiancee, I
can't remember. THat means that your wife will have company." -MAJ Mike

"Well, maybe that means you're squadron will keep their pants on??" -GN Gen Es'mith

"Besides, my own wife often doesn't have time to fly, and she's a member of the wing.
It would be good to have some else besides Jennif to conduct the "short-arm" inspections." -GN Gen Es'mith

"The Lambdans have been streaking *again*? ... Troopers, bind their eggrolls!" -VA Proton

"Again? When'd we stop?" -MAJ Mike

" ::sighs::
I hate not completing my thoughts. It...ahem..appears that LCM Cat will be appearing shortly to assist LCM Es'mith in her "short-arm" inspections of those unfortunate young men of the
wing who run around in the corridors pantless....(instead of in their quarters, where only the DB, and other sordid individuals can watch)." -GN Gen Es'mith

"This whole "pantsless" issue has gone far enough! We need to get some pants in Lambda!
The barracks out on this end of the ship are COLD!
And yes, deathstar boxers are fine, as long as you dont start
firing any planet destroying lasers. (What did I just say?)
*BIG swig of "milk"*
So, were is the Sov quartermaster? My legs are freezing..." -LT Pheonixus

"LAMBDA IS HEREBY BANNED FROM ALPHA BARRACKS EXCEPT WHEN ACCOMPANIED BY A
FEMALE OFFICER. This is assuming that the rumours are true that they are
running around naked..." -MAJ Talons Pryde

*Upon finding out he is the quartermaster, Freelancer laughs
maniacally and envisions horrors for the poor slops who need his
help*

"HAHAHAHA!!! Your legs are cold?! Try these scorpion troopers! HAHA!
What?! You want more PANTS?! HA! PUNY mortals! Take these!!!! *hands
out the most horridly rejectable golf pants from the late 1970's*
HAHAHAHA!!!!" -LC Freelancer

"And Gen gets defeated ANOTHER time! Yay! oh.. wait.. should I be cheering?? Isn't this the guy who leads us into battle?!?!?!?!?! AAAACK!!!" -LC Freelancer

"Credit card is maxed out right now, but if you fancy a quick tipple, just
drain a pint of blood from my arm...it's got an alcohol percentage that
rivals a good bottle of schnapps :P" -MAJ Brandon

"Ewok barbecue tonight--do you prefer light or dark meat?" -COL Inkwolf

"Sovereign Bombing Run Blowout officially begins today! This is a huge ship wide competition and there are quite a few ways to participate. TIE, XWA, fiction and graphics are all included. I expect to see everyone participate in any way that they can. For those of you who don't I will place you in the airlock and have the switch tied to a rope with a candle underneath the rope. =P" -COL Stele Pellaeon

"new members are on their way...........attracted to us for some reason, must be the beer." -GN SickMan

"I don't need to lead Omega to brothels. The women tend to find us." -GN Compton

"What was that again about being married to an Inquisitor? Perhaps it would be best if any brothel outings were kept quiet ;-) " -COL Sasquatch

"Listen to the man, people. I like my testes where they are." -GN Compton

"Mua-ha-ha-ha-haa!! Another LAMBDA pilot triumphs in the Beat the WC comp! Oh, er, "Challenge the WC" comp! Congrats." -LC Freelancer

"**Orders Team LSD to put rotovirus spores in Wing I's food for two
weeks**
Team, you'd better have ship's stores stock extra TP in Wing I's heads
for the next three or four weeks, but make sure you use the cheap,
scratchy stuff.
Muahahahahaha, so is the fate of all Sovereign pilots who fail to read
every word of the COM reports! >:)" -VA Proton

"Man, that's worse than using a black widow in the privy!" -GN Gen

"Love the T/B ;) ... and love to hear pilots moan about having to fly T/Fs and T/Bs >:) " -VA Proton

"Just out of curiosity, brutally murdering the COM in his sleep isn't an option allowed in the CoC, is it? ;P " -CPT Argon Viper

"Uh, no. Actions like that are only permitted by higher officers, down to lower officers...as they say...sh*t flows downhill." -GN Gen Es'mith

This is something I have thought of, at great length. As such, I will
PERSONALLY be guarding Proton's quarters every night, to ENSURE that
I get my fix of T/B missions during this BRB :P
Note, this will end once the BRB ends, so feel free to try it then ;) " -LC Freelancer

OFF-TOPIC DEPARTMENT

"I'll never play first base, brother. The ball comes to you too fast," Barry Bonds said. "I never have ever worn a cup in my life, so that would be really hard to do without grabbing my crotch every five minutes."

COM's observation: I'm an American and ding-danged proud of it. But I love the British. We all should love the British, for no other reason than the best rock bands of all time have come from the Brits ... the Beatles, the Stones, the Who, Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath, the Kinks, Jethro Tull, Pink Floyd, the Clash, etc., etc.

COM's apology: Sorry for the report being a little late. Among other things I have been conducting important activities, such as playing Green Berets, Myth III, Rogue Spear and MechWarrior: Black Knight ... !!!

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COM/VA Proton/SSSD Sovereign