SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 6-17-02

***
++--HOLONET NEWS BULLETIN--++
ABOARD THE SSSD SOVEREIGN (AP) -- The trial of two Imperial News Association journalists accused of slandering the Emperor's Hammer flagship's ruthless commodore, Vice Admiral Proton, got off to a rocky start Monday after a group of burly men with shaved heads took up many of the seats in the courtroom reserved for the media.

(Editor's note: This edition of the Sov News includes an extra lengthy Cantina Comments section. Read it up!)
***

COM/VA Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

Wing commanders, pass this along to your squadrons, and cc: me on those mails.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- Imperial Storm III. Our shipyards are blowing out their overtime budgets this week as the Sov task force for once is not involved in the next battle, and we can afford time to plan the next expansion of our domination, muahahahahaHA. The ATF and ASF are fighting this time. The game's movements will resume in several days, after the debris is cleared away.

Details of the war game can be reviewed at the IS III Web site: http://www.emperorshammer.net/wo/is3/

-- COL Stele Pellaeon is the new commander of the asylum otherwise known as Wing II. Congratulations and good luck to the colonel in carrying on the wing's *ahem* traditions. In the flag officers' lounge, Stele is busy filling drinks, and he's under orders to soon regale us with details about whatever mascot(s) he will be employing as a Sov flag.

-- A bunch of hardware handed out again this week, including a Gold Star to GN Ford Prefect upon his retirement as Wing II WC. Whooo, Ford!

-- Speaking of hardware: I'm going through a little bit of bureaucracy to try to get the medals awarded to the winners of the recently concluded Sov cantina song contest. Be patient, pilots, and root me on in my exodus through the seas of Imperial red tape.

-- IWATS Squadron Management 3, details from FA Priyum:
The third version of the IWATS Squadron Management Course is now officially out. As I said in my previous reports, this is more of an update rather than a complete rework. This means that there isn't anything significantly new, but there is more information on things like the Fleet Standing Orders, Database procedures and the new CMDR Tour of Duty rule.
The test is not compulsory for present Squadron Commanders but they are highly encouraged to read through the notes. Pilots that were CMDRs in the past and are applying for a CMDR position at some point in the future, do not have to take SM/3, assuming SM/1 or 2 has already been passed.
Please note that the pass mark for the SM/3 test is 80% and copies of transcripts are not kept, unless you mail me beforehand.

-- The Tactical Office is looking for testers and engineers for TIE and XvT and BoP. Requirements are posted on the TC news page. Applications should be sent to VA Marcin Szydlowski (pbmike@go2.pl).

FORCE STRENGTH

-- A big Sovereign welcome to new or returning pilots:
FM/SL Andros Rok/Sadhe 1-2
FM/SL Blaze Glaxu/Epsilon 1-3

-- GN SickMan, not long ago languishing down in the hutt guano regions of The Warehouse, has wrested the La-Z-WC from COL Kalar. But look at COL Stele, The New Guy, challenging, just a few pilots back. Next is GN Reaper, and COL Es'mith is at the moment stuck in the guano bins.

SSSD Sovereign [191]

Wing I [33]
Wing II [38]
Wing III [41]
Wing IV [36]
Wing V [42]

Omega Squadron [10]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- SSSD Sovereign Recruiting Competition
This is a competition to increase the membership of the SSSD Sovereign. There are three categories:
-- Recruitment Web page. Deadline for this segment was May 31. Thanks to the participants!
-- Recruitment campaign. Also over.
-- Total number of recruits. The top three individual recruiters (as reflected in actual pilots recruited and placed on the ship (MoIs) will be awarded Iron Stars. The top recruiting squadron and wing each will be designated "Commodore's Own" for one month and carry commensurate benefits in the ship's cantina.
Deadline: midnight June 30.

-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in #ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time

-- Omega Squadron is sponsoring a flight contest open to everyone on the Sovereign. GN Devin provides the details:
Competition is in two rounds.
First round: All pilots fly TIE-FCHG #2 and submit to GN Devin
(devin@omegasquadron.org) by June 21st. Top 10 pilots will advance to
2nd round.
Second round: Pilots will fly TIE-TC #19 and submit scores to GN Devin
by July 12th.
Prizes:
1st- Iron Star-Gold Wings and a Kenner R5-D4 Droid toy
2nd- Iron Star-Silver Wings
3rd- Iron Star-Bronze Wings
Note on the toy: Yes, it is real. Yes, it is still in the box. Yes, I
will pay to ship it to you. Yes, even if you live outside of the US.

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://www.imperialmight.com/wwwthreads/postlist.php?Cat=&Board=cantina

The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://sov.imperialmight.com/drink.html

CANTINA COMMENTS

"You know, if you threw some whiskey in there, maybe with just a hint of rum and a twist of lemon, added some ice and Sprite (TM), and then shook for a few minutes, you might have something that was ... almost ... kind of ... halfway ... drinkable.
What do you think, Grue? Can the Bloody Rebel be adapted for human taste buds? Maybe a sort of Modified Bloody Rebel (M/BR)?
Or maybe we should just drink Bloody Rebel Originals whenever we miss a contest deadline? If that were the case, I guess I'd have to acquire a taste for them, though ;-) " -COL Sasquatch

"We tried to stop him, but he killed the squad of stormtroopers we sent down to the hangar. Didn't you ever wonder why "mystery meat" was on the menu for a week after he showed up?
That's OK, Grue normally keeps to Rebels and stupid Imperials. You get
used to it after awhile - it's when he gnaws on the bones - that just
creeps me out." -GN Devin

"Well sir, Grue's dictionary (trying to better learn human language) says:
can·ni·bal n. 1. A person who eats the flesh of other human beings. 2. An animal that feeds on others of its own kind.
Now a person is a human and Night Grue is a grue, not a human, not even really humanoid. And as for animals, grues may be considered animals but do not feed on other grues ....
well, ... there was that one time ... Grue not want to talk about it ...
::shudders at the thought:: " -CM Night Grue

"Yeah... plus, Night Grue is a Grue... not a human..... The gnawing on bones does creep me out, though..." -COL Brian

"He does have a good rhythm to his bone-chewing though, you have to give him that. ;-)" -COL Sasquatch

"Sober grad party, those are for losers. A good one has at least 3 kegs, usally more plus cans and bottles." -LT Conker

"Well, I think I did better than any drunken party than you've been to...
::wipes the lipstick off his shirt collar:: ;P " -CPT Argon Viper

"Gah! I still wake up screaming in the middle of the night, trying to
brush the scorptroopers off me ... Speaking of which, where did I put my pointy stick?" -COL Sasquatch

"I agree Brian.. grrrrrrr I say you and I go check and borrow some of Kramer's old Scorptroops.. the youngins dont remember those.. so they wont be prepaired ::grins evily::" -LC Joe

"That way they won't pull BG on us and get all upset over any little thing." -COL Stele Pellaeon

"Wore out after a couple days of my internship. Teaching's a lot harder than it looks. :) " -MAJ Josh

"Teaching, I could never do that. Trying to get a large group of people to
do something a lot of them are reluctant to do. Not to mention having to deal with conflicts, people with problems with authority not to mention
people that just like causing trouble all the while trying to keep everyone motivated. Plus teachers have a lot of paper work to do. Yeah, I could never do all that stuff.
Oh...wait a second..." -COL Jahan Kalar

"Have a holiday in Brit-land where you can go into any pub and get wasted. Join us in the fun!!!" -CPT Werdna Elbee

"88 pilots in the TIE Corps with Death as their name. Still, I triumphed :P " -FA Priyum

Alright, Dierdre ;) From now on, Dierdre is the Wing III Trash Talker (at least until this comp is over). But others of you may win this coveted
title as well if your trash talking is up to it." -COL Jahan Kalar

"Is the US the only place with such a high drinking age? I hate you all ;)" -COL Jahan Kalar

"Loud belches are signs of honor, to be treated with respect. Now if I had shat in my drawers, and put THAT on the recording, I could have dedicated that to him." -GN Compton

"Hmm.. You'd think that BEING Freelancer was punishment enough in itself.." -CM Ras Kronar

"Welcome COL Stele. I'm Colonel Jahan Kalar, Wing III boss man. I'm sure you'll fit in just fine here. Just remember the few simple Sov flag rules:
1. Just because you are a flag officer is no excuse not to get drunk at
every opportunity.
2. You must have an "assistant" of some type. This assistant should not do useful work, it is just someone (or something) to sick on lazy CMDRs.
3. Since you have a lot of authority now, you are expected to use it wisely.
So, if Proton comes into the Wing II briefing room and you are dancing
around with three Ewoks, all the Wing II pilots and seven Jawas wearing a large hat and no pants, remember your position and authority and blame it on a Lieutenant.
4. Serious rule now. Have some fun, being a Wing Commander on the Sov is the best job ever, so enjoy it while you can." -COL Jahan Kalar

"Already this morning it looks like I have a few things to do, besides helping the Sov flag officers with their alcoholism =P" -COL Stele Pellaeon

"So, I would suggest a two-button controller. Unless you are willing to
chip in some extra dollars, marcs, euros, rubles, yen, wooden chips, teeth, etc." -LCM Dan Jenkins

"MMMMMMMMMMMM beeer, anything will do for Sicky, just as long as it blanks out reality after a gulp:)" -GN SickMan

"Yes, that's right!
Not only are we DAMNED handsome and ruggedly built, we also serve a
purpose! That's right, FLs actually DO something other than swilling
drinks in the cantina! Can't believe it? Well, if you've got a
problem or a question, try us first. We've been around for ages and
ages and ages and ages (*cough* I'm gonna stop now, but just know
it's been many many ages) and we have learned a few things along the
way.
So, keep that in mind, FMs of Wing I! Your FL is there for a reason,
use him! :P" -LC Freelancer

"No! NO!!!!! RUN! FLEE!!! Head for the hills! Freelancer's writing a
squad report! Oh!!! The HUMAAAAANITY! Has Mike gone MAD?!
We interrupt this nervous breakdown to bring you the latest in
hi-tech gadgetry in squadron reporting!
Mike's on leave for a bit, so he's given me leave (and taken leave of
his senses by doing so) to write the squad report! As Duff-Man says..
"Oh YEAH!" -LC Freelancer

"This just in! We're all dead! Those downright evil BUMS in the ATF
took out (among others) LAMBDA squadron. I personally encourage all
of you to HAUNT the ever-livin' daylights out of those pilots until
such time as the SSSD Sovereign takes them down to their component
atoms.... with EXTREME prejudice (*evil smile here*).
Okay, so how about that war game, eh? It SEEMS Proton there is doing
a decent job after all, eh? Now, I know a few of you MAY (*just
maybe*) remember my initial comments about Proton's abilities when
the wargame originally started. Well, I can only say one thing about
him now:
"That drunk mean and SovCom guy sure plays a mean ImpStorm"
(said to the tune of Pinball Wizard)" -LC Freelancer

"Ole Proton there, so the story goes, is NOT on the Wing I e-group. Go
figure! No WONDER we haven't been getting more mention in the Sov
reports ;) It's a plot! Proton's trying to suppress our lunacy! He's
trying to quarantine the fighting spirit (*cough*booze?*cough*) of
the wing from the rest of the ship! No! I say we bust out of his
quarantine and let the e-mails fly! :P" -LC Freelancer


-----
COM/VA Proton/SSSD Sovereign