SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 8-19-02

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(Editor-Droid's note: Vice Admiral Proton has exercised his better judgment and decided to delete the notorious Wing I "dangling fury" e-mail thread from this week's Cantina Comments section.)
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COM/VA Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

Wing commanders, pass this along to your squadrons, and cc: me on those mails.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- The Sovereign Bombing Run Blowout continues, details on the War Room page at http://sov.minos.net. Honest, all or most of the information you need is there, if you will do more than quickly scan a couple of lines. But if you have questions, just ask me, at hullbreach@warpmail.net.

The next deadlines are Aug. 31 for the XWA ladder finals (CPT Vector, LC Jon Doyle and LC Freelancer qualified for the final round) and Aug. 31 for the TIE mission 2 segment.

A tech note about the BRB TIE missions: If the lfd file included with
the downloaded mission does not work for you, just use the game's
original battle1.lfd file and rename the TIE mission to the original
file name (b1m1fm.tie).

Leaders after TIE Round One are:

Individual: CM Night Grue/Omega
Squadron: Omega
Wing: Wing II

But with slack participation in Round One, anyone can still win! Even
Wing V, with a skunking in Round One, and Wing III with one entry,
could win this thing if pilots get off their cheeks and just fly a
freaking free mission once every two weeks!

Here is the direct link to the TIE mission 2 file:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/sbrb2.zip

-- The Sovereign's recommendations for Commendations of Loyalty have been submitted to the Operations Office.

-- Wing II Tag Team Tournament concludes. White team (Command Staff) took the final victory; LCM Cahir was Top Gun.

-- Wings II and III will face off in a TIE and XWA flying, fiction and graphics competition.

FORCE STRENGTH

-- A big Sovereign welcome to new or returning pilots:
FM/SL TK-9823/Hey 3-2
FM/CPT Mordred Pendragon/Sin 1-2
FM/SL Kurbanis/Sin 2-2
FM/SL Riyo Starwind/Alpha 2-3
FM/SL Lucius Starblade/Lambda 1-2
FM/SL Raven/Gimel 2-3

SSSD Sovereign [188]

Wing I [38]
Wing II [40]
Wing III [36]
Wing IV [37]
Wing V [36]

Omega Squadron [8]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Under way, the Sovereign Bombing Run Blowout. The competition will run for eight weeks. Elements include four custom TIE free missions, an XWA ladder and fiction and art categories. Also, the winning squadron and wing in this event will be awarded the titles of COM's Own. All details can be reviewed at http://sov.minos.net -- click to the War Room page.

-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in #ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time

-- Get ready for the "Super Sovereigns." This will be a humongous ship competition in October. Details to come soon!

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign

Message board:
http://boards.minos.net

The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

CANTINA COMMENTS

"That'll learn ya! Going all over the ship, agreein' with me! That'll
show ya to take yer pills on time!" -LC Freelancer

" /me goes back to the Daedalus to shmooz the cadets ;) The best part about it is that I can write it off as a business trip and then go down to the planet and stay in some five star hotels :) ;P " -CPT Argon Viper

"I think Omega set a record in this report for sheer amount of a single conversation quoted in the Sov News. One more reason why we ROCK SO HARD!!!
That's right, gentlemen (and Grue). By virtue of your association with Omega Squadron, you have become a bonafide ROCK STAR. You may not have to sing, but you DO have to party like a Rock Star.
Now, someone get TK-what's-his-face to pour a round of Rock Star Energy Drink. It's on me." -GN Compton

"Ahh.. But we all know that they're all just henchmen
for the Illuminati, Majestic 12, Free Masons... And
such...
Echelon is watching.. *looks around in paranoia*
Of course entering all these words in one mail will be
certain to have gotten their attention :P " -CM Ras Kronar

"Want a party? So Let's party for me to be back....
doo doo dood oodoododod ododod dod odod dood do odood do
(imagine the sound you like and dance reading this) " -CM Sauron Tarrke

"So if they approve ... and how can they not approve if they let you upload it
to your profile ... Can Grue still have a head and claws?
::Grue also wants to keep the chick ... err hmmm... human female on Grue's
arm::" -CM Night Grue

"Would be very funky if you could find some time to
rustle me up a uniform...don't seem to have one anymore. Not that I wander
round the Sov naked you understand...well, not during the day...only when I
need the bathroom or feeling like doing the vacuming...I'm gonna shut up
now... :P " -MAJ Brandon

"Just found out from our new friend Kyle Katarn that "Semper Colon... in german, it means that somebody is a idiotical person, who never learns and that stays so stupid!" -GN Compton

"Colon....does that mean my arse is stoopid? I've been called a dumbass
before butt (*ahem*) this is something entirely new...
I've got some cool and entirely useless Latin phrases somewhere...time to go
dig 'em up." -MAJ 'Brutus' Brandon

"I was thinking that if we could find a cool Latin saying about destroying our livers or something, that would be nice." -GN Compton

"The third order of business will be to give Devin a proper send off, complete with massive quantities of illicit fermented barley products and oodles of Twilek slav... err, dancing girls. Especially the green ones that can do that trick with their lekku... Yes, Devin's a monkey, but he's our monkey, so he deserves to go out in style. Oh, and someone find a female Grue for Grue." -GN Compton

"Good lord!!
Did someone spike the Metimucel?? (sp?) twenty emails in one day from Omega
& Co. damn :P And like C says.. ".. Just another way WE ROCK" ;P " -RA Joe

"Is that a challenge!?!!
I DEFY you to write your next wing report in a HACK PROOF format!!!" -LC Freehacker, erm, "Freelancer"

"Yes, Dev needs to go out in style, but ... a female Grue? C'mon, we've all seen how they eat, do you really want to risk being made to observe their mating habits?!" -COL Sasquatch

"I'd read it out to myself... But then again that's
about sad even for me.. So I settle for the voices in
my head... :) " -CM Ras Kronar

"If he tries to reject it, I'll kick him in the nuts." -GN Compton

"Fly, fly , FLY, my monkeys!
Word up, mah homehs," -GN Compton

"I think it was about half way
through a bottle of Jack or a 12-pack of Sierra Nevada that he decided
that Baron would be the appropriate title." -GN Devin

"As I recall it, I was TAC at the time, and still had more high scores than anyone else, and was greedy and self-centered enough to demand recognition for it.
But I DID make Devin start putting the top 5 pilots on the Battle Board when he was CA:FC." -GN Compton

"Well hot damn! Now my collection is complete!" -GN Devin


"OK, so I'll cull one of the poor bastards, and submit three." -GN Gen Es'mith

"How about D for disgusting, G sends the wrong message, we really don't want little kids watching them ;P " -CPT Argon Viper

"hmmm... I think 'Re vera, potas bene' (say, you sure are drinking a lot) is
the closest I can find...here's some other (roughly translated) classics for
your mirth, courtesy of Emperor Bradino

Raptus regaliter = Royally screwed

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane
mittam = I have a catapult. Give me all your money or I will fling an
enormous rock at your head.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare = I think people in togas are
plotting against me.

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione = I'm not interested in your
dopey religious sect.

Utinam barbari spatioum proprium tuum invadant! = May barbarians invade your
personal space.

Non sum pisces = I am not a fish.

Recedite, plebes! Gero rem imperialem! = Stand aside plebians! I am on
imperial business (the quote on my profile, the eagle-eyed of you might
notice)

..and of course, my all-time favourite

Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure = I can't hear you. I
have a banana in my ear.

Bring on Quote of the Week baby yeah!" -MAJ 'Muse' Brandon

"Though Roman gals are molta bella, They don't compare with Pte. Stella.------W. Ealing (Italian soldier of WW2)" -COL Stele Pellaeon

"I'm getting the impression that somebody out there has a grudge against
kitties.... ( *sniff sniff ) " -LCM Fatboy

"Ahh, yes. The ScorpTroopers! I'm glad I wasn't Doctor at the time,
because if I remember they caused quite a lot of casualties.
Tarrke, you are admired...." -Doctor Chris

"Cool, I'll get it in as soon as I can....
(::drags Argon over to a calculator and tells a chimp to teach him how to compute the Laserless Scores::) " -GN Gen Es'mith

"I don't get the topic.. I mean.. Should we really pay
attention to Orders? ;P " -CM Ras Kronar

"No, it's not important.
::hands him the cleaning tools and the protective suit::
Now please go clean the axial superlaser focusing mirrors.
However, I order you to use the protective suit, and then go swim in the
Guano bins when you're finished." -GN Gen Es'mith

"Heck, llok at LAMBDA. We're an entire SQUAD of corrupted TIE pilots!" -MAJ Mike

"...would prefer to be on the Sov for his entire EH career, all
kissing up to Proton aside..." -LC Freelancer

"My, uh, uniform is at the cleaners, yeah... You see, I sent it out to
Endor during the battle of the century moon, and... and... DAMN that
"Death Star 2 Steves Fast and Friendly Dry-Cleaning"! They still
haven't returned my order!" -LC Freelancer
...still waiting for his pants to come...

"help me.................................
it's 113 (or up to 117 degrees fahrenheit).................
I'm afraid to find someone with a thermometer......................
I have to walk around in the cool part of the day....only 80-105 degrees.....................
I'm M........E................L..........T........I............N.........G............
(yes, you still have to salute the pile of goo that was your WC!) " -GN Gen Es'mith

" *Freelancer sees a pile of goo, and throws a quick salute*
Oh, wait, that was just Mike's old socks.
*Freelancer turns, sees another pile of goo, and throws a fast
salute*
Damn, that was what used to be some kind of food, a few cycles ago...
Crap! Gen! Can you wear your WC pins on the pile of goo?! At least
around the LAMBDA barracks! Otherwise, my arm will get really tired
soon....
*Sees another pile of goo in the dive that is the LAMBDA barracks,
and throws a salute, just in case...* " -LC "salute!, oh, wait... just Nebular's bunk" Freelancer

"Get over it ya wuss, it's hitting 120 in Redding ;P /me salutes the pile of goo that looks vaguely familiar ;) " -CPT Argon Viper

" *Kevin finds a pile of goo with WC ephaulets, and
shoves it all into a blender. He grins evilly and
slides to the bar.* " -LCM Kevin Pryde

"You know, if he doesn't even know what ship he's on, maybe we should just assassinate him instead... Or Bonzo could 'accidentally' push the "Big Red Button" yet again ::evil grin:: " -CPT Argon Viper

"Anyway. Blow up the Subjugator... *Checks spelling*
for all I care :P
I might return your Gen-shake while I'm at it :P
*Hums while adding ice-cream to the mixture.* " -FM/LCM Kevin Pryde/Ravager 1-3/Wing XX/ISD Subjugator

"(Eric stands at the bridge)
"What is your Name"?
(English Accent) "CM Eric, MEMBERRRRRRR of the
squadron known as Delta."
"what is your quest"?
(Eric) "I seek the holyyyy Delta Squad Beer Mug"
"what, is the airspeed velocity of an unladin Argon?"
(Eric) "now would that be European or African Argon"?
"well i dont know AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -CM Eric

"Ah, but here's the kicker.
There is no European Argon. It's actually a European
Kronar.
And the African Argon? Yep...
It's a White-Rumped Kronar." -LCM Kevin Pryde

"Right that does it...
*makes a deal with Wing II to have the mini-fords go
get Kevin*
Speaking off... We need a Wing Mascot Gen! We used to
have Rick the Pink Elephant I believe... THough he was
always too big for my taste.. And I couldn't ever see
him since I'm never drunk.. Milk and all that :) " -CM Ras Kronar

"Hokay, you've still got a couple hours. I think I managed around 100,000 laserless, and this is the first mission I've flown in months, and I'm almost drunk." -GN Compton

"After another moment of staring at the streaming reports that endlessly scrawled across his screen, Sickman leaned back and poured some more whiskey into his glass. The green light emanating from the monitor cast a sickly glow onto the light brown liquid, but the general downed it anyways, all in one big gulp." -LC Jason Hunter

I hereby name this pile of lethal, radioactive,
found-in-a-corner-of-LAMBDA, pile of goo, as the Wing I mascot! I
have genetically engineered it to be totally loyal to Gen, but with a
(infinitesimally small) soft spot for its birth place!
So, whattawe call it? :P " -LC Freelancer

"An infinitesimally small soft spot eh? So it'll talk about how cute you
guys look as it bashes your brains in? ;P Anyways, how about "Thingummy"
;P " -CPT Argon Viper

"I'm sorta partial to lethal, Radioactive, found-in-the-corner-of-LAMBDA
pile of goo, myself. We could just call it Mini-Free. No, wait..." -MAJ Mike

"Naturally.. There goes Proton with the bathroom humor.. Sheesh! He's
been watching too much Ace Ventura!" -LC Freelancer

"There was this short where they showed you how to make an oohbleck.
You mix the ingredients in a bowl, and the result is not solid, not
liquid, it's squishy and gross. So the sounds you made were..
supposedly.. "ooh" and "bleck". Oohbleck.
Let's name it that! :P " -LC Freelancer

"I am VERY much a solid life-form with a rigid endo-skeleton, THANK
YOU VERY MUCH! >:( " -LC Freelancer

"Can I write this up as insubordination? Not that I would, mind you, I just
want to have something on Free." -MAJ Mike

"Sticking my tongue out at you? Pish tosh, man! You can drum up better
imaginary charges than that! What about..... Sedition? Yes! My duties
as the supply officer, and the sudden increase in horrid plaid colors
and tacky 60's golf pants ought to be SOMETHING, eh?
Otherwise, why did I do it?
Oh, yeah... Evil. Forgot >:) No? Dang! That's Proton. Then what am I?
Semi-evil? Bad? Just "mis-guided"? What?!?
As evil as Ronald McDonald's shoe?!?! Is that even a *category*??
You're making that up!" -LC "Not very evil" Freelancer

"There's no such thing as too much Ace Ventura ;P " -CPT Argon Viper

"I don't think I like the goo idea.
I DO have my blue poison arrow frogs, but you guys are soooo well behaved I don't usually have to send them out to punish you." -GN Gen Es'mith

"While most people think that advancing by default may not be important, I happen to know that LC Freelancer intimidated his opponent and turned him into that pile of gibbering, radioactive goo that you guys want to turn into our mascot.
I say great work, LC Free.........keep it up!!" -GN Gen Es'mith

"She waited a minute and turn the stereo on. The music was so bad that even she had enough after a few first tacts. Horrible meeeoawing mixed with git'hours and syntethic voice of an android were heard even in the farest W3 quarters...
Another minute lasted and the room was full of Wing III Officers, trying to get to know what happened and not to push anyone into the pool." -MAJ Aeishline Strathaven

"I was just perusing our ranks...you know, an unannounced barracks inspection.
Freelancer....for godsake's do something with your socks!!!!!" -GN Gen Es'mith

OFF-TOPIC DEPARTMENT

-- Cable newsman's wife rescues lobsters at soiree
Arlene Ellis is an animal lover. Or maybe she's just seen ''Free Willy'' too many times. Either way, the wife of New England Cable Newsman Tom Ellis caused a major stir at a swish Cape Cod clambake over the weekend when she grabbed five about-to-be-boiled lobsters out of a pot, threw them in her car, drove to a nearby harbor and returned them to the sea. According to those on the scene of Boston PR guru George Regan's annual Sandwich summer soiree, Ellis grabbed five about-to-be-executed crustaceans and went running down the driveway with catering staffers from Legal Sea Foods in hot pursuit. ''She was yelling, 'I'm saving the lobsters, I'm saving the lobsters,' '' said a partygoer. ''But the funny part was, her husband Tom was sitting at a table with about 10 people eating his lobster and pretending nothing was going on. It was the most bizarre scenario ever.'' After a confab at the end of the driveway, Ellis was allowed to leave with her catch. But she came back about an hour and a half later with a fistful of cash and caused another scene, going table to table and offering partygoers dollars for their dinner.
Source: Boston Herald http://www2.bostonherald.com/news/inside_track/track08132002.htm

"In life, as in baseball, we must leave the dugout of complacency, step up to the home plate of opportunity, adjust the protective groin cup of caution and swing the bat of hope at the curve ball of fate, hoping that we can hit a line drive of success past the shortstop of misfortune, then sprint down the basepath of chance, knowing that at any moment we may pull the hamstring muscle of inadequacy and fall face-first onto the field of failure, where the chinch bugs of broken dreams will crawl into our nose." -Dave Barry, Miami Herald humor columnist

-- A 31-year-old man from Santa Cruz, Calif., was walking
outside town on a date when he happened across a rattlesnake. To
"impress" his gal, he picked the snake up. "The snake was mature," said
a rescue worker. "It had 10 rattles," which he knew because "the victim
had time to count all the rattles while it was on his hand" biting him.
The unidentified man was admitted to intensive care, and is expected to
survive. (Santa Cruz Sentinel) ..."Impress: 1) To affect strongly; 2)
To produce a vivid impression or image; 3) To mark or stamp." Yep, all
three primary definitions satisfied. -Copyright This Is True

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COM/VA Proton/SSSD Sovereign