COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the
Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.
SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES
-- BSFs can be submitted to the database once again. The mailer at the moment is not working, but pilots can keep track by checking their profiles.
-- MAJ Frodo is settling in as the new WC of Wing V. Congratulations to him on his appointment. I also want to thank all other applicants for the position. This was an extremely difficult decision because of the quality of the various applicants. MAJ Frodo has some ambitious plans for the wing, and I urge everyone in the Hammer's Hellfighters to support him in his efforts.
-- The new CA:FO, AD Cyric, wants to upgrade the TIE Corps' performance in reports. WCs, make sure you cc: Cyric on your reports (jroscoe@comcast.net). Also, WCs, you should be sending me each week a compilation of your wing's squadron reports! I believe GN Es'mith has been the only WC doing this lately >:(
FORCE STRENGTH
-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/LCM TK-9121/Mem 3-3
WC/MAJ Frodo/Wing V
SSSD Sovereign [171]
Wing I [28]
Wing II [45]
Wing III [31]
Wing IV [35]
Wing V [31]
Omega Squadron [8]
SHIP COMPETITIONS
-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in
#ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time.
SHIP COMMUNICATIONS
IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://boards.minos.net
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html
COMBAT DEBRIEFING OF THE WEEK
"I tried to fly XvT-45 but I couldn't complete the last mission. I flew that mission many times but everytime the mission critical craft exits hangar some moron wingman destroy it even if I order him to ignore my target..." -MAJ Gidda
COMMAND RANT(S) OF THE WEEK
"Perhaps, but look at it this way, I'm a commander that doesn't make anyone do what I can't.
I flew two of the platforms successfully, and fought with XvT and now it works.
So here I am, in the HGB along with you all, because most of you were too busy to fly.
Well it's always been that the many suffer for the sins of the few and so the cycle continues.
IF we can get 25% participation on Whimpering Winds BEFORE the BSF option on the database comes up, we'll come back to our barracks....If not, I'll give them, the Cantina and all of Argon's booze to Wing II, with a special shipment sent over to Ford." -GN Mud
CANTINA COMMENTS
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
- Jack Handy, Saturday Night Live (courtesy of COL Stele Pellaeon)
"Woohoo! Congrats to the "WC on steroids!" -MAJ Philo
"Great, the HGB again. /me goes to his trusty armchair ;P" -CPT Argon Viper
" ::yanks away the chair and uses his lightsaber to make several thousand toothpicks::
You get it yet? No niceties until we make a showing on a competition." -GN Mud
"Hey hey, I flew for all platforms and I also got a nice IS-SW. I'm not gonna move to the HGB (whatever it is).
I'll guard the cantina while you're away, ok?" -MAJ Gidda
"Woohoo! My CO and *his* CO are both buying! Oh, crap... We're stuck
in the HGB and the cantina is locked shut... :( " -LC Freelancer
"If'n you're gonna quote Latin, you should try to spell it right.....
That's terrible!!!!!!!!!!!" -GN Mud
"Let's polish our cockpits, Grue's teeth and all our egos! Prae
will be cleaining the Sov waste tanks before Darth Santa is filling our
flight boots with shiny medals and new replacement livers." -MAJ Brandon
" That quick response is almost as funny as the time in the army when our "resident" Adonis thought he was being "jammed" by a transmitter....he ran about 100 yards covering his balls, 'cause he didn't want to be sterile....oh what a hoot!!
Even funnier was that it was his electric razor that had come on in his pants pocket!" -GN Gen Es'mith
"But remember, if YOU can get 100% participation from GAMMA, it will go a LONG way towards getting everyone out of the HGB....besides you wouldn't want any guano on your robes." -GN Gen Es'mith
" /me wings several flaming vodkas in an un-dodgable pattern. CONGRATULATIONS!!! ;)" -CPT Argon Viper
"ALL alcohol has been confiscated, no more flinging." -GN Mud
"Great, now all I have left to throw is this rotten hutt guan... wait a second... /me runs around in a happy dance randomly flinging clumps of hutt doo all over the place ;)" -CPT Argon Viper
"Halc, that's just scary :p
::Sets out a coffee can with a "Donate to the Carpal Tunnel Surgery for Halc Fund" sign::" -COL Ricardo
"Argon! You are not Murkrow! Stop flinging poo everywhere! Unlike him,
YOU have no excuse!" -LC Freelancer
<`Jd> Zombie gungans
<`Jd> lol
<`Jd> yeah
"This is further evidence that pilots should just fly, and leave the
under-the-hood stuff to the Sov's able mechanics ;)" -AD Proton
"Talons grumbles defeated. "You are right. But when your tech is unavailable and you just have to fly..." Talons walks away kicking the Wing II mascot." -MAJ Talons Pryde
"As promised that means we can now come up out of the HGB and hit the showers.
It's NOT enough for me to open Cantina.
By the way, while we were in the HGB I had a multitude of mini-lasers installed throughout the Wing I area. They are programmed to target all alcohol as well as tamperers." -GN Gen Es'mith
"More than one Halc,for the love of god man
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOO
*thump*
/me passes out from the mere notion of the idea :P" -COL Reaper
"For once I TOTALLY agree with Reaper. That would be
too much for one to handle. I'd much rather go to the
guano bins than have 2 Halc's running around! :P" -MAJ Nurel Turr
" ::wonders if Argon notices that the lasers are starting to target areas of his anatomy that he might like to use in the future::" -GN Gen
"Ah, so the search for the culprit begins. /me puts on a
Sherlock Holmes cap and coat, pulls out the necessary pipe and a
magnifying glass. Come Wats... er... Freelancer, bring your
revolver, we must find the perpetrator at once! ;) " -CPT Argon Viper
"Blastech E-11, CR-1, thermal detonators, moldy pineapple, rotten
trout, lightsaber, laser pointer, M249, spare ISD turbolaser,
including power source and targetting console, 18 nuclear warheads,
15 rockets, bazooka, stinger missile, 2 anti-tank rockets, 3 sets of
webbing, 5 camo patterns' worth of uniforms....
*leans up from his private arsenal*
Um... Don't have one. Will the blaster do?" -LC Freelancer
"as an omega Emeritus, your liver, your colon and your soul belongs to us ... forever =)!" -LC Ixion Deathbringer
"That's because Compton can't stay away from the frat house... :-P" -GN Devin
"That's where they keep the Hot Young Chicks Who Drink Lots." -GN Compton
"My input is to foster
the use of "Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service,
Honor, Integrity, Personal Courage" atmosphere,
without overburdening some 15 year old kid who is
online to play a little XVT :p " -RA Khameir Sarin
"Oh, no, don't be fooled by him. We're all just a bunch of docile
old-timers.
Yep, yep, yep... We like nothing better than to sit around the old
fashioned radio listening to Olde Tyme music whilst we crochet
doilies and whatnot. ;)" -LC Freelancer
"P.S. For your own safety, please sign this "Visitor's Waiver"
preventing you from suiing us if you come into contact with Proton,
LS and D, Argon, Ballista, Argon, scorpion troopers, Argon, me,
Argon, a wookiee named Bubba (don't ask), Argon, and, well... Argon."
"So Vader's just the product of poor up-bringing?
He's not evil, he's just misunderstood! What they don't tell you is
that he turned off his mic every time he choked somebody. That Rebel
commander? He was saying "You never loved me, Obi-wan! All I ever
wanted was a little validation!" -LC Freelancer
"So yeah....here goes:
(based on West Side Story "Gee Officer Krupke"
I know it needs work, but I'm supposed to be doing my weekly report.
GN Gen
Sidious, IMITATING Yoda
Turn to the dark side you will
Anakin
Who me, Master Yoda?
Sidious, IMITATING Yoda
Dark Side, yes. You, show fear and fear is reason for draggin' ya down to the DARK SIDE, yes.
Anakin
Dear wise Master Yodapke
You gotta understand
It's just our bringin' upke
That gets us out of hand
Our mothers all are killed by raiders
Our fathers all are midichlorian drunks
Golly Moses, naturally we're punks
Imperial Guards
Gee, Master Yodapke
We're very upset
We never had the love
That every child oughta get
We ain't no delinquents
We're misunderstood
Deep down inside us there is good
Anakin
There is good!
Imperial Guards
There is good, there is good
There is untapped good
Like inside, the worst of us is good
Sidious, IMITATING Yoda
That's a touching good story
Anakin
Lemme tell it to the world!
Sidious, IMITATING Yoda
Just tell it to the judge
Anakin
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor
My parents treat me rough
With all their marijuana
They won't give me a puff
They didn't wanna have me
But somehow I was had
Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad
Qui Gon IMITATING JUDGE
Right! Master Yodapke
You're really a square
This boy don't need a judge
He needs an analyst's care
It's just his neurosis
That oughta be curbed
He's psychologically disturbed
Anakin
I'm disturbed
Imperial Guards
We're disturbed, we're disturbed
We're the most disturbed
Like we're psychologically disturbed
Qui Gon IMITATING JUDGE
Hear ye, hear ye. In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home.
Anakin
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!
Qui Gon IMITATING JUDGE
So take him to a headshrinker. You!
Amidala
Who me?
Anakin
My daddy beats my mommy
My mommy clobbers me
My grandpa is a commie
My grandma pushes tea
My sisters wears a moustache
My brother wears a dress
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess
Amidala IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
Yes, Master Yodapke
He shouldn't be here
This boy don't need a couch
He needs a usefully career
Society's played him a terrible trick
And sociologically he's sick
Anakin
I am sick!
Imperial Guards
We are sick, we are sick
We are sick sick sick
Like we're sociologically sick
Amidala IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
In my opinion, this child does not need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease.
Anakin
Hey, I got a social disease!
ACTION IMITATING HEADSHRINKER
So take him to a social worker
Anakin
Dear kindly social worker
They tell me get a job
Like be a soda jerker
Which means I'd be a slob
It's not I'm antisocial
I'm only anti-work
Glory Osky, that's why I'm a jerk
Obi-wan
Eek, Master Yodapke
You've done it again
This boy don't need a job
He needs a year in the pen
It ain't just a question of misunderstood
Deep down inside he's no good
Anakin
I'm no good
Imperial Guards
We're no good, we're no good
We're no earthly good
Like the best of us is no damn good The trouble is he's lazy
The trouble is he drinks
The trouble is he's crazy
The trouble is he stinks
The trouble is he's growing
The trouble is he's grown
Yodapke, we've got troubles of our own
Master Yodapke We're down on our knees
Anakin
'Cause no one wants a fella
With a social disease
Imperial Guards
Dear Master Yodapke
What are we to do?
Gee, Master Yodapke
Yodap you!" -GN Gen Esmith
"Artist: Everclear
Song: I Will Buy You A New Life" -LCM Szu
"With music like that, any chance they could buy Halc one as well :P" -COL Reaper
"Normally I back anyone up during Halc-Bashing (everyone's favorite
past-time), but Reaps, I'm afraid I'm going to have to side with Halc this time. Until you post a pic of yourself and/or post your playlist, Reaper.. you don't have the complete right to Halc-Bash :p" -COL Ricardo, Not Scared to Show Off his Pic or Playlist :p
"Will do, sir..
::Readies Bret's old Ewok S&M bondage equipment for the mouthy Brit::
The leather might smell a little gamey yet, Reap, but it should serve its purpose :p" -COL Ricardo
"I'm wondering...why do you have that stuff Ric? You
weren't Bret's 'partner' in the older days...were you?
:P" -MAJ Nurel Turr
"I can't emphasize this enough..... Annihilate THUNDER Squadron!
They inflicted harm upon our brothers of Theta. Avenge them..." -COL Stele Pellaeon
"I like punk rock. >:D" -LCM Szu
OFF-TOPIC DEPARTMENT
-- This is very interesting.
>
>Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing images and hearing
>voices for quite a while. They did some research and found that a lady
>once
>lived in the house who lost her husband during the civil war.
>
>Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the
>fields in
>anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So, they
>say
>she still waits. They caught this photo of what they claim to be her.
>This
>one was wild and a little spooky once you find the ghost in the
>picture.
>
>It took me about a minute to find it, but when you do, it just stands
>out.
>Like one of those optical illusions.
>
>To save you some time, concentrate around the table. Best not to focus
>too
>much on one spot. Look around the table and toward the window. Keep
>looking, you'll eventually see it.
>
>Click on the link below for the picture. Best to enlarge. For an added
>touch turn up the volume, it's faint, but the low murmur you hear was
>what
>got the photographer's attention first.
>
>You will eventually see it. It will take a minute. It's there.
>
>http://home.attbi.com/~n9ivo/whatswrong.swf
>
-- REALLY DUMB: While sitting in a Utah jail awaiting sentencing after his
conviction for manufacturing drugs, Kent Coulson wrote a letter to U.S.
District Judge David Sam. "Hey Baby, how is my little thing?" he wrote.
"Can you believe my father plays golf with Sam, the crusty old
judge...? Ha! Not only that, but the old [expletive] lives up here and
the church people who come every Sunday morning happen to know him. So
it all looks good for me. Ha! Ha! ... I have to write a suck-up letter
to the Honorable [expletive] and it should all be great for me. Your
big guy, Kent." Coulson apparently put the "suck-up" letter meant for
the judge in the envelope to his girlfriend. Since he sent the letter
meant for his girlfriend to the judge, it was entered as an official
court document. Coulson's attorney tried to convince the judge that
another inmate wrote the letter as a practical joke. (Salt Lake
Tribune)
-----
COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign