COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.
***
Proton stepped off the MedCorps SHU, droids buzzing around him like flies. The COM shooed away the irritating medical droids and summoned his loyalty enforcers, who were waiting at the corridor to the bridge.
Cocking his head to the grinding sounds leaking from the engine room, Proton raised his eyebrows and requested a status report as Dude handed him a Yukon Jack on the rocks.
"Sir, we--" the duty lieutenant halted as Proton looked away at a commotion over by the hatchway to the brig. The Beautiful But Deadly Ballista and Festus the Wookie were dragging a screeching General Stele Pellaeon toward the Hutt Guano Bins. Every time Stele struggled, Ballista shot a steel-toed boot into his ribs.
"Aah, I see, my Team, you are carrying out my orders to the letter, as usual," Proton beamed at Leroy, Snippy and Dude. The HGBs hatch slammed behind the GN and his chortling captors.
The duty LT looked around, bewildered, wondering whether he should continue his report.
" ... Uh, sir, we are wrapping up repairs on the hyperdrive engines," the LT told Proton. "They of course required a complete retrofit after the, uh, the incident ..."
Team LSD snickered and chittered, thinking of the punishment Pellaeon was being subjected to for blowing the Sov's engines while Proton was in sickbay planetside.
The duty LT saluted and walked back to his station on the bridge, and Proton resumed his walk toward his quarters. Dude, the huge Tusken Raider, noticed which direction the COM was heading, and stopped suddenly, pulling Snippy and Leroy back with him. They did not want to be present when Proton arrived in his quarters ...
***
An hour later, Proton still sat in the lounge chair in his quarters, sucking down yet another Yukon Jack. He had dispatched his loyalty team to scour the ship for the offenders, but it still wasn't enough. It would be a long time before he recovered emotionally from the actions of his crew in his absence.
They burned his desk. BURNED it, for heating. Like firewood. HIS DESK! And they broke into his private stores and DRANK ALL HIS BOOZE.
Proton sighed, leaned over to an emergency end table, and signed an executive order authorizing construction of the new Ultimate Pain wing of the Hutt Guano Bins.
***
SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES
-- Thanks very much to GN Stele for running things while I was on leave. Yeah, he blew the engines, but the Empire has a lot of gear, and we upgraded to the new model with heavier cams and heads and barrels, etc.
-- Imperial Storm IV began Sunday, and Turn 1 is under way. Operational details will not be disclosed, of course, but suffice it to say, the TFA team (Freelancer, Jon Doyle, me and the flags) are sweating profusely over the combat monitors, our clammy hands gripping the flagship's controls and weapon stations as we prepare to annihilate the enemy battlegroups! For occasional updates on the game, plus background info, please go to the Sov IS IV site:
http://www.imperialmight.org/sovis/html/index.php
-- All mission creators are urged to enter the three mission-design competitions leading up to Sovereign League 2004. Four-mission battles without patches are needed for the XWA, XvT and TIE divisions.
-- Wing II Mission Voting Competition is under way. It's a fiction and flying comp.
-- Notes from FO/FA Cyric worth repeating:
1. When sending me requests for roster changes, e-mail changes and the like, please include PIN#'s. Yes I can search through the database for the pilot, but on more than one occasion I could not find the pilot because the familiar name is not the name they use in the DB, plus it makes things go so much faster. The less digging I have to do, the faster the changes can get updated.
2. I've sent out my ideas on the Fleet in regards to squadrons that are undermanned. I would like to have those 7 squadrons up to 5 pilots at the end of two months. Please try to make it a priority if the squadron is in your BG or you are in one of those 7 squadrons, but first and foremost have fun while doing it. This club is all about fun and if your not having fun........
3. I've been getting alot of questions about the "new" training guidelines that HA Priyum and the TO had worked on. I can not give any answers to this question until I hammer out a few details with the XO. He's offered some ideas and thoughts, so be patient. I am continuing to place cadets as they come through to squadrons that need them first, then to where they requested. This on the advice of GA Ronin. It makes sense, and is working. I've also had a few reservists contact me about rejoining, so there will be more pilots coming back to service.
4. Again I would like to remind everyone that FOA COL Reaper is monitoring the reports. Please CC me and Reaper with the reports.
5. The Operations Office has a new site up: http://www.ehoperations.com/opsman/ . RA Alex Foley is also working on revamping the medal awarding criteria.
-- LC Todbringer has announced the pairings for the Sovereign Cup, which will begin Friday, Oct. 3:
Group A: MAJ Tempest, LCM Mateusz, LC Zekk Terrik, LC Nightmare;
Group B: LC Mickk Emrys, MAJ Dolsar Saris, AD Darkhill, LCM Arid Foxtrot;
Group C: LC Brandon, LCM Kahooli, LCM Raistlin, CPT Rover;
Group D: COL Mezynski, LT Arlins Scabo, COL Mini Minkus, CM Machinari;
Group E: COL Astarosta, CM Ryan Chi'Cath, FA Mike, COL Gen Es'mith;
Group F: COL Ixion Deathbringer, LC Carl Lost, CPT Mauser, LT Brin Chaser;
Group G: LC Turr Phennir, LC Yoman, AD Darksaber, CPT Curtis;
Group H: MAJ Artyis, LCM Shimir Sheerelk, AD Kerrigan, COL Master.
-- EH Newsletters 95 & 96 are out:
Online Download
NL 95
http://theholo.net/nls/eh/95/
http://www.ehnet.org/nl/95/
NL 96
http://theholo.net/nls/eh/96/
http://www.ehnet.org/nl/96/
NL 95
http://theholo.net/nls/eh/zips/hammer95.zip
http://www.ehnet.org/nl/hammer95.zip
NL 96
http://theholo.net/nls/eh/zips/hammer96.zip
http://www.ehnet.org/nl/hammer96.zip
Also available at the Logistics Office mirror:
http://lo.cosmicholonet.org/nls
-- SA Astatine reports that Jedi Outcast, Jedi Academy, Star Wars Galaxies, Knights of the Old Republic and Republic Commando have now been added to the platforms list. If you own these games and want that status reflected on your profile, login and select "Edit Profile" from the admin menu.
-- The Fleet Medical Corps is looking for people. Contact LC Archangel if interested at hyltonbuijs@hotmail.com
FORCE STRENGTH
-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/LT Nico Avenger/Cheth 2-2
FM/SL Myn Delaktor/Zayin 3-2
SSSD Sovereign [145]
Wing I [28]
Wing II [33]
Wing III [27]
Wing IV [42]
Wing V [14]
Omega [9]
SHIP COMMUNICATIONS
IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://theholo.net/mb/viewforum.php?f=25
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html
PLANETARY OPERATIONS
-- There is a great player-established Imperial base a few clicks north of Coronet. I spent most of the weekend running Imperial missions out of the base. The place is crawling with StormTroopers, which is quite reassuring, with all the Rebels running around these days. The best things about the base are that all the missions are pretty close to the base, the terrain is not very harsh, and if you need to run into town, Coronet is only a short run away. I am about halfway to the faction-point threshhold that will allow me to acquire an AT-ST to kill even MORE Rebels >:)
-- Feel free to contribute to Tatooine News, my SWG site:
http://www.imperialmight.org/html/index.php
COMBAT DEBRIEFING OF THE WEEK
"On mission 3 of the TIE battle we chose, does anyone know why the incoming frigate smashes through the mission critical factory as it enters the area?" -MAJ Argon
CANTINA COMMENTS
"Sorry everyone. I just came back from a medical visit. I really should
have done my report before leaving but I'll get to it this evening. Don't start getting all crazy on me just yet. =P " -GN Stele Pellaeon
"You went to a different medic!?!" -Doctor Chris
"Heh, DOC, are you JEALOUS??? =P
Maybe he thinks, that our doctor is more dangerous than Hammer Fist
Battalion armed to the teeth =P " -LCM Granite
"you want a dangerous wing doc...go see argon viper, but watchout for that
rusty spoon of his." -LT Conker
"There will be a medal pool swimming party later at #airlock54 =P " -GN Stele
"Welcome aboard, Commander! I hope they've warned you about Bob....he tends to chew the legs off strangers and ask questions later. Wearing steel
boots for the first couple of weeks in Psi should help..." -COL Inkwolf
"Proton dammit?! Where are the Skynyrd lyrics?!" -LC Zekk Terrik
"nothing to worry abbout kron youll be fine...
and i most certenlly didnt leave my pet rancor in your new quarters...
me gos back to the cantina" -LT Conker
"It's not the same. It's not actually IN the report. You disappoint me,
Proton. You're demoted." -LC Zekk Terrik
"Ahaa! But my dear Proton who's more the fool? The fool? Or the fool who follows him?
Oh wait... eh.. lesse we all "follow" Proton.. Hmm.. oh well we've established that Proton's a fool... eh..
Right?" -CM Ras Kronar
"
"It's times like this that remind me of the early days of air warfare in World War One, when new pilots often died before anyone got to know them." -COL Gen Es'mith
"But be prepared for me to dust off my lexicon of German General quotes from World War II about holding out until the last man......" -COL Gen (Ve vill fight until ze last man, und ze last missile, und zen ve vill fart at zem!) Es'mith
"I think I'll install a black hole in the cantina, so no new pilots can escape!" -COL Es'mith
"*Sobs* I had similar degrees of activity at my times.
None of you came to me telling "good boy, if you keep up the good work we might one day interested in you", *sniffs*." -COL Ixion
"LC is the coolest rank? Since when? Oh right, yesterday. :P " -LC Tempest
"Seems we are having an outbreak of LC's!" -LC Mickk Emrys
"I'll get the ointment." -LC Zekk
"Anybody else get made an LC while I wasn't looking?" -LC Mickk Emrys
"I think I'd have noticed if MSE's went away...for one, I'd have been able to
stop seeing my therapist :P " -LC Brandon
"way to go and i think i'd rather see carol and temp pick up the wings tab.... im trying to buy a new ewok grill =P " -LC Seth
"Either that Ewok grill is made of diamond or that's the greatest ripoff of all times. :P
You come over here and pay some drinks, Sethy! :P " -LC Tempest
"but... i dont want to buy drinks it will leave that rum smell in my cloths again... wait... i love that smell... nevermind drinks are on me! /me dumps glass of rum on head.... MAN I LOVE THIS =P " -LC Seth
"Wait a minute...CAROL??? Is there something we don't know about LC Lost? >:D Doc Chris,
performed any... unusual....operations lately?" -COL Inkwolf
"/me lobs beer kegs at tempest, seth, terrik, and zekk" -LT Conker
"Et tu, Carl?
First my boss doesn't trust my skills, and now a friend advertises rival services to my customers!?!
I fain would give ye all checkups, but for the current unemployment of my person...." -Doctor Chris
"We shall drink overlymuch brew this day." -Doctor Chris
"HECK no. Former XOs have severance packages like unto failed American CEOs - set for LIFE, baby.
When I stepped down, I got to keep my estate on Aurora (the one with the huge hall with the domed roof where the windows that make it look like the Imperial emblem from space), my keys to the PLT Dagger (where the Lake o'Beer is located) and a rather large monthly stipend." -GN Compton
"Wuw, what's up with all the Doc Chris emails? It's like Doc Chris every hour on the hour =P " -GN Stele Pellaeon
"LOL I thought you were talking about your IRL WeddingAnniversary and I was wondering why WT hadn't chopped you into a million peices already.. :P " -AD Joe
"Ummm, not good.
Kronar is now in Wing II, and in control of Psi.
Beware all. Beware." -CPT Psyko
"Well, I am officially not just the "usual suspect #2", I am also the usual "loser who takes second place in the QotW to Free" ;) " -MAJ Argon
"Proton's got a crush on me, no doubt. 'Tis the only reason I can think of that I'm so popular (*cough*forget my career history*cough*cough*). Although I don't know if I should be jealous
of the way he gives Sasquatch so many QotW listings... I wonder if he's cheating on me -- no, wait, that's not what I meant, you pervs! I meant it metaphorically! Oh read a book!" -LC Freelancer
"LMAO...
/me opens long-neglected closet
Yep, all my old MSE's are still there.
/me hears cadets fifteen decks away screaming in pain as they are crushed by a mountain of paper and datacards...
Uhh... time to clean this up before I get a body count..." -COL Brian
"What career history? You mean the Navy you were in charge of for a few
weeks? :P " -LC Mike "inside joke" Chistu
"P.S. Sorry guys. I'm making a reference to something probably almost none of you remember. Of course, Proton was around back then, so at least it has a chance at QotW, which is all that matters." -LC Mike "putting his callsign here in case this gets QotW instead" Chistu
"Colon dissolving is a time-honored Sov alcoholic's tradition. With all the liquor we consume, who needs a colon anyway? Yours will soon be gone, Yoman ... if you even still have one, that is ;-)" -GN Sasquatch
"Now that all that mushy stuff is over, let's get pissed! :)" -LC Josh
"*hisses*
BACK! Back ye fiends!! (*makes a cross with fingers*)" -LC Freelancer
"0_0!!!
You're kidding right? Those are my faves too.
*Me and Joe run in a meadow together...they were meant for eachother" -GN Stele Pellaeon
"::blinks in horror as Pellaeon holds his hand.. he then brings out his ASP and locks it in place then layith the smackdown on Pellaeon's head... then arrests him::
"Dispatch, I'll be 10-6 10-15 J-3 enroute to Jail.. some sick freak just tried to hold my han....errmm he Assaulted me... yeah.." -AD "I'm your friend, not your B!#$h" Joe
"*Gasp*
Why is someone pointing a gun at that Asian-wannabe in a tuxedo? O.O " -Doctor Chris
"DOS? Forget Linux and give me DOS???? Dude that's like saying forget the Humvee give me a windstar." -Nebular
"heh ive know about them for years, them and the cia spooks have been after me for years, but theyll never find..........what was that.......
"I was thinking combat medic or bounty hunter, but I'm game for anything. I ain't being a dancer though. I doubt the any of the servers could handle my booty shakin' abilities." -LC Brandon
"/me beats up "batman" with all the necessary "kerpow" and "thud" flashing animations =P " -MAJ Argon
Nah, I think it takes more than that.
To get the CIA to prick up their ears, you gotta say things like 'build your own bomb', 'glory of
islam', 'Allah kicks butt', 'slimy corporate imperialists', 'flying lessons', 'second Vietnam',
'vote Democrat', 'first amendment' and 'Texaco owns Dubya Bush's tush.'
Oops...the black helicopters are coming, better sign off..." -Code Name: Inkwolf
"Yeah that'd do it. However if wanna go really hardcore you'll have words like 'Illuminati', 'Majestic 12', 'Freemasons', 'John F. Kennedy', 'area 51', and others..." -CM Kronar
"Well we've gotta blow up something eventually. If we don't, Ronin will find out we're slacking off." -Doctor Chris
"Crap, you Lambda people are letting your water out!?! /me grabs a pistol. Incoming!!! ;P" -MAJ Argon
"All your booze are belong to us? As in all your base are belong to us?
What does that mean? My brother says that all the time =P" -GN Stele Pellaeon
"Someone set up us the bomb.
For great justice." -LC "You have no chance to survive make your time" Tempest :P
"AAAHHHAAAHHHHHHH, the light shining off that medal's blinded me......." -LT Conker cant see
"On a side note..... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGH!!!!! WE'RE DOOMED! NOOOOOO!!!! STELE IS AT THE HELM! OH MY SITH'S MUDDY BOOTS I THINK I'MUNNA BARF!! STOP THE CIRCLES, STELE! PLEASE!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" -LC Freelancer
"Actually I can back Freelancer on that.
we had a discusion on which Batman he styled himslf.
I thought it would have been the camp 60's version (yeah free, do the Bat dance)
but no ,he actually went for somthing quite cool.
any way i wouldnt worry about free wearing his underpants on the outside,Its his sock's that terrify whole star systems" -LT Arlins
"Hey Boss, I know how does it sound, but unfortunately that DAMN DOG ate my MWE for ... August, that's why I have such a big delay! I'll send you one BIG MWE for two months (HanSolo/ 'But this time I've got the ..MWE..," -LC Wolverine
"Yes, welcome to Omega! Just a question - you didn't forget to take your box
of spare livers, did you...? ;) " -LC Todbringer
"As a long-time Sovereign pilot, I trust you already know the dissoliving of colons and stuff... :) " -COL Brian
"You're too young, my padawan LT, to realize the power of a united Alpha." -CM Kahooli
"Hey, how come I didn't get keys to Proton's secret bar when I was the janitor? >:| " -Doctor Chris, former Wing II Janitor
"*Granite stares at the frozen milk and wood from Proton's desk and wonders, if fermentated milk can be used for making booze in his antique, wood fueled mini-distillery.*" -LCM Granite
"Hey, would a drunk cow give you fermented milk? O_O Just a thought." -Doctor Chris
"Ahhh, yes... Many a coffee were choked upon as many a pilot read the headlines back then: "Freelancer VA and NAVCOM!?!?" Sub-titled: "SELL YOUR EH STOCKS NOW!" But luckily we keep many a fine cleaning droid and/or SL/intern to clean up the messes across the fleet. Although,
my Imperial Coffee Imports, Ltd. stock did double in one morning." -LC Freelancer
"Aahhhh no body asked you, sir =P " -GN Stele Pellaeon
"::there is suddenly a loud PANG noise heard through the jail:: Damn Pellaeon... gotta watch those thick metal bars when your walking in your cell.. ::grins evily::
Have you been drinking? I'd be careful.. some of thease guys might want you to give them a breathalizer test..." -AD "Who's yo' daddy!?" Joe
"Sure thing, I'll take their breathilizer, you can take their urine tests =P" -GN Stele "watch where you point that thing" Pellaeon
"The idea has merit, even if being EXTREMELY STUPID." -LC Freelancer
"Mt choices are narrowed to a Dell machine or one from Brian's Frankensteinian laboratory." -Janich
"Commodore Vic-20 thats a blast from the past...I have a Commodor 64 and ...ready for it....
An original Woodgrained intellivision with B-17 BBBOOOOOMMMMMEEEEERRR!
Top that! Punks!" -FA "Really really old and sorry I brought that up" Cyric
"I'm still trying to figure out what a yaght is? From the last mail or did you
mean yacht? :P" -FA "grammer police" Cyric
"But Joe, if the destruction doesn't bore you after a while, then I'm glad your on OUR side ;-)" -GN Sasquatch
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...choose your own targets. /me starts polishing his MIS" -LT Conker
"bwhahahahah I love going around in a big truck in the areas where there is the most pedestrian traffic... just seeing those screaming bloody bodies fly over the roof of your vehicle just makes you cry tears of joy.." -AD Joe
"Arrrrgh. And I thought cat stuff was bad, but as it turns out, bunnies are even worse! :P" -LC Tempest
"Inkwolf....that...was...awesome." -CPT Psyko, Ph34r the Bunnies >:P
"You reckon thats wrong?
Scroll down and click the 'Bush as a girl' one and prepare to barf!" -LC Mickk Emrys
"WOO WHOO!!!!!
Im flying to the planet for BEER AND WOMEN!!!!" -CPT Ky Terrak
"I think I'll spend one day at the BEER AND WOMEN planet, and the other watching 9 people clean out Hutt Guano :P" -CM Arcanix
"Cram it Mr. "Underwear OUTSIDE yer pants" Superman >:D " -LC "I'm Batman!" Freelancer
"Darn, I forgot one little detail and off to the Hutt Guano Bins we go..." -LC Yoman
"Free in charge of the Navy= Heaven help us" -LT Colin Graves
"I remember that, nearly choked on my morning tea when I read that pice of news. Then I ordered Te Deum to be preformed.
Why? you might ask.
No more stinky socks onboard the ship.
Sadly that condition did not last long." -CPT Roger
"*I then pull my out my E-11 and blow Free's tires out.*" -LT Colin Graves
"I've got a silver Imperial cog logo in my back glass ... Joe, don't pull me over!" -GN Sasquatch
"Sounds like the U.S. Marines' un-official Motto: "Travel around the world, meet interesting people - then kill them." >:P " -AD Joe
"All was quiet it was Christmas Eve... *scratching of an old vinyl sound effect* Hang on here this is wrong. Narrator your reading the wrong book
*ahem*
It was all Quiet in the Bunks of Wing II, the snow flakes were falling from the ventilation Shafts and all the pilots were huddled around a small barrel of Protons Burning Desk.
COL Jon turns to Psyko and Asks him : was it a really good idea to rig up that huge Alcohol pump to the ventilation system?
Sigma needed the booze was the flat reply.
COL Jon shrugged and turned to look at Kronar his new CMDR, milking his pet cow, and the Milk turning to ice in the glass. then Sipped a large slug of Irish coffee, with more Irish than coffee." -COL Jon
"*The clippety-clack of a luggagebot is heard echoing down the corridors of Wing as Kronar tries to find his quarters.*
Lesse... ehm... Psi... ahh there!
*Kronar turns a corner and stands before the door to his own quarters. He gently opens the door.. As gently as you can open one of them fancy starship doors... and enters the quarters*
Heh.. Smell just like Jon.
*Kronar realises what he just said and appreciates that no one's around to misinterpret it before dumping his a bag on the bunk and instructing the luggagebot to unpack his stuff. He smiles as he glances down at his CMDR's star and heads out the door towards the cantina.*" -CM Kronar
"Ahh it's Nice to have Stele's husband in the wing to keep an eye on him ;)" -COL Jon
"hahahaha :D
just keep the wife/husband stuff for yourselves, ok? :P " -Zyr "I don't wanna watch" :P
"Oh, yeah, almost forgot about that relationship thingy we had going on. Well, he left me for Omega but now he's back. =P " -GN Stele Pellaeon
"I'll try to keep the conjugal visits to a bare minimum :P
Except when I need stuff of course... ¬_¬ " -CM Ras Kronar
"Priyum retired (*sniff*) from FO and has joined the HCI, which means I'm a dead man....." -CPT Psyko
"*Kronar finds a suitable piece of wood from Proton's desk and heats the milk over the fire while Buttercup gnaws on some of the SovCOM's personal correspondence*" -CM Ras Kronar
"Heh, we just need to revive Walt Disney somehow or another from his fabled "frozen" state of being. Then he'd take over, revive 2-Dimensionality, and kick some serious animated butt!" -Doctor Chris
-----
COM-PROF/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
IC/SSx4/BS/PC/ISMx2/IS-1BW-1SW-1GW/CoLx2/OV-3E [CNTR] {IWATS-FLA-RT-SM/2-TM}