COM/AD Proton reporting for the Emperor's Hammer flagship, the SSSD Sovereign, on 12-16-03:

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- I'm crafting a recruiting competition for the Sovereign. If you look at our overall numbers, you can see how they have declined. This is nothing that other ships are not experiencing -- we're all in the same boat in the TC. But we need to do our best to get as many of the cadets as we can. Perhaps rewarding the top-recruiting wings and pilots will provide some new incentive. The long-discussed TC training system changes are caught in a death-rattle limbo in the XO's office, so we're going to be living with the current system for the imaginable future. So, get recruiting!

-- Some of you may have noticed that the Sovereign Web site has moved, so we can make use of the more flexible platform that hosted the Sov's IS IV site. The new site has a news-posting mechanism where any pilot can submit news to me for quick publication on the ship site. The splash page is the same, but the rest of the site is on the new platform. Check it all out at http://sov.minos.net.

-- COL Mini Minkus is the new WC of Wing IV. He's not only written a decent report, but he has promised his pilots a bunch of competitions, and has turned me into a BSF byotch, trying to keep up with his own flying. Geez. :)

-- Speaking of flag officers flying, the addition of Minkus and COL Brian to the Rat Pack has got us all talking about taking the Pack on the road again. We're kind of waiting on LC Mike to solve his PC woes, and then perhaps the Rats will be back.

-- FO/FA Cyric sayeth: "I need to impress upon everyone, that the FL and CMDR spots for squadrons need to be filled in order to have recruits placed in those respective squadrons. This has been a Flight Office policy for years, and I intend to follow through with it. It is important for newly made SL's to have leadership and guidance through their beginning times in the TC. Without it, they tend to flounder where they are."

-- Also from FA Cyric: "The War Office will be under going some changes in the near future. I don't want to get into what they will be until they are FULLY approved, but I can say that virtually every issue from the past ImpStorms have been addressed, and the changes will greatly improve the War Office and the War Games."

-- Imperial Storm V coming soon! Quoting FA Cyric: "IMPSTORM should be ready for January. The game will feature goal points or victory points, an even playing field for fleet allocations, and a few surprises that would make the IMPSTORM games desirable to fly and for some very IMPORTANT to fly. More details to be released when AD Pel, FA Mike, and myself finalize the plans."

-- The War Officer also has suggested that the Sovereign and Omega face off in a wargame. That would be helluva fun!! COL Brian is gauging interest among Omegans; if there is sufficient commitment, look for a Sov vs Omega wargame!

-- WCs and CMDRs, use PINs when corresponding with the Flight Office about position moves etc. or risk Cyric sending his Byatch Corps after you.

-- Wow. Just, WOW. LCM Granite of Rho Squadron, Wing II, has completed ALL IWATS courses!

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/COL Dark Angel/Beth 1-2
FM/LT Malcolm Howard/Zayin 2-2
FM/CM Armagon/Cheth 1-2
FM/SL Firzam Coldsteel/Beta 1-2

SSSD Sovereign [126]

Wing I [30]
Wing II [31]
Wing III [26]
Wing IV [38]

Omega [8]

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign
Message board:
http://theholo.net/mb/viewforum.php?f=25
The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

PLANETARY OPERATIONS

-- Things continue to get way more interesting and fun with the EH PA's operations in Star Wars Galaxies. This week, the patch will add player vehicles to the game. So we'll be zipping around on speeders, etc. But the milestone this week was that in our PA city on the planet Talus, we added two Imperial faction bases. This is HUGE, because it allows us to run Imperial NPC missions right from our city, and gives us our own staging area for launching attacks against Rebel installations. Not more than 30 minutes after our bases were established Monday, Rebels began attacking us. I happened to be there and I may have gotten the first "deathblow" against a Rebel in the coming long history of defending our city! And. of course, we easily repelled the Rebel assaults!

-- Speaking of dealing death to Rebels. I am still really glad I chose the Commando profession in SWG. The best things about it: 1) Grouped with my AT-ST, I can go solo on high-payout missions against Rebel NPC bases; this results in me becoming a rich fat cat and in me piling up large amounts of Imperial faction points, toward the purchase of more walkers and defensive structures for our city's Imperial bases. 2) In player vs player combat, I am now competitive with at least some of the high-end Rebel players, especially when I am part of a group; if I have time to hit several Rebs with flamethrower blasts up close, they cook well-done! 3) It is fun watching the reactions of Rebels AND fellow Imperials when I let loose with the flamethrower on an enemy. It is Imperial might at its ultimate >:)

-- Feel free to read and contribute to Tatooine News, my SWG site:
http://www.imperialmight.org/html/index.php

CANTINA COMMENTS

"Uh. Oops.
Please don't kill me.
And don't take my liquor..
*Goes to hide his stock of liquor stolen from Conker who stole it from Proton* " -CPT Ninja

"Not bad for a roster bitch eh?" -FA Cyric

"I made it in this week as well, thanks to self-loathing and the random use of biyatch." -LC Mike Chistu

"You're welcome.... BYOTCH!!" -AD Joe

"I should be clean-cut with *attitood* more often." -LT Brin Chaster

"Just calm down, Hobbie.
I got a new joystick!!!!!! *hyperventilates*
*calms down* Okay, how does a Logitech Wingman Force 3D joystick sound?" -LT Hendo

"Boy, it's been a while since i've had the capability to rant and rave like I
usually do. I've missed it. heh, maybe you guys haven't. But here I go!" -LC Josh

"Oh, by the way. Congrats to Brian at becoming the new Omega CMDR. You
have any plans for the old farts? :P" -LC Mike Chistu

"I still reckon they shouldn't have gone past Windows 3.11 :P " -LC Mickk Emrys

"Unless you divide by OV that people have... Like OV-3, OV-4, etc... Hum... if we did that, sould Gallows have to fly against Proton? It boggles the mind!! :P " -LC Freelancer

"Silly Minkus. We don't buy drinks when we're broke. We just steal it from Proton's Private Booze stash." -LC Mike Chistu

"Biyatch. Hehe..." -LC Freelancer

""/me raises his hand in response to that last quote. Now, if we can only figure out what kind of news the TAC and SCO listen to, we can kill them and get rid of EHBL once and for all. Anyways, an embarrassing show this week for me, I hope you're all prepared to drown in the monkey doo and sustained explosions as Proton's liquor pours down my throat. BTW, I'd like to come out in favor of the "rockets up the command staff's butts" thing that Mike recommended ;) " -MAJ Argon

"Hrm... Rather harsh way to ensure a dissolved colon, no?
Why not just use BOOZE! A technique we developed WAAAAAAY back in the good ole days! It still works, too! If it ain't broke, don't fix it ;) " -LC Freelancer

"Ahhh, yes... QotWDSD. I remember that.
"Dissolve your colon, gon'na?" was my favorite...." -LC Freelancer

"Dissolve my colon? Sir, I am a doctor (former FMC), and if I wanted to dissolve my colon it would be only too easy. No, this has more to do with "unnecessary surgery" on the rest of you, now line up. Hey, get back here! Dagnabit, now I have to go chase them down. /me pulls out his rusty "operating" spoon and follows the trails of spilled liquor." -MAJ Argon

"You quack! >:D " -LC "Medical Expert" Freelancer

"Hey, this time I have actual record! I was Wing VI DOC for at least... I think it was something like six months. Anyways, I have more than enough experience at preforming castrations, and since you're the closest vict... er... I mean "patient" >:) " -MAJ Argon

"Bah. You couldn't castrate a rebel with a thermonuclear warhead... You do well vaporizing them (which is why, I suspect, you remain a pilot!) but as a doc you ain't too hotshot, hotshot. ;) " -LC Freelancer

"Ah, that might expain the high death rate... /me advances on Free with the rusty "operating" spoon." -MAJ Argon

"However being a poor student, I should warn you that I sometimes am forced to take the cheap option when it comes to alcohol... so... uhh.. Proton. Don't be too suprised if that Yukon Jack tastes more like... err... well. Paint Stripper. It's still Yukon Jack! Just Asda Smartprice Yukon Jack... err... should I start running now? >:P " -COL Mini Minkus

" hereby bestow upon myself, by power of... myself... the rank of King High Commander God Man of Killing Rebels.
Oh, and I'm a COL now ;) " -LC---erm... FL-KHCGMKR/COL Freelancer

"Who was this Gallows? I remember him being our WC, but did he ever do anything? :P " -LC Mike Chistu

"Look old man, me as WC is no more scary than you as F0Munkey! I mean, there's an absolutely horrible and very real chance you might end up as FO. This is something we should all be scared of, kiddies! >:P " -COL Mini Minkus

"However now the the "village" has gained a high calibre idiot, think you could let me have some of those new and improved Brain Pills Hiccy mentioned before he left" -VA Reaper

"They’ll probable make it for Playstation and then make a sorry ass carry-over to the PC, and then Charge $15 a month to play…
That darn George Lucas… perhaps it would have been better for Mother Theresa to have developed the Star Wars trademark, at least that way we wouldn’t have to be sued every time we say the word Jedi. Hehe" -LCM Fett

"They said it would never happen. A politician telling the truth. Hell Freezing Over. Reaper being sober. All events far more likely to happen than this. But it has happened, and I have been appointed Wing Commander, and that means... Minkus stylee Wing Report!" -COL Mini Minkus

"Allegations that I threatened to blow up Proton's house in SWG if I didn't get the job are completely unfounded. And anyone with an IRC log of me saying such a thing are lying. (Your cheques will be in the post, gentlemen. Just give me the damn log! >:P)" -COL Mini Minkus

"Wow *tear rolls down Turr's cheek*....a Teth style report...the WC edition" -LC Nurel Turr

"/me sends over Proton's triple Yukon Jack...
Did you want that with or without the Joe-standard-addition funny mushrooms in your Yukon Jack?" -COL Brian

"Whoa, a triple! This new Omega CMDR is good! ... Eh, what mushrooms? ...
**Sov veers off course as the hallucinating Proton begins strangling the helm officer** " -AD Proton

"Wonderful... after spending a year under a drug induced alcoholic Wing Commander (Reaper) it turns out I'm under a drug induced alcoholic Commodore.... Ah well. Might as well join in the fun.
*Wanders off to get a double vodka* " -COL Mini Minkus

"Mike, enjoy your kneecaps for another 10-15 seconds." -AD Proton

"**Mike squats up and down a few times.**
Whee, look at 'em go. They have to be some of the greatest knees ever.
**LSDB walks into the room, carrying various blugeoning objects.**
Hey guys. You come to look at my knees too? Aren't they just the...ow...hey...stop that...I...I can't feel my legs!" -LC Mike "cripple" Chistu

"*Free rolls a bottle of bouron past Argon*

"LOOK! BOOZE!"
*Argon forgets all about what he was doing and follows the bottle. He picks it up and hugs it to his face*
"Oooooooh"
*Free continues on his way.... to the PPB to see if he can break past Proton's booze embargo* " -LC Freelancer

"If memory serves, you only had Ballista back then. But still, she was enough for a single wing. L S and D came along when you got COM, I think, and then you just made up your wookiee after I introduced mine ;) " -LC "My wookiee is bigger than -- no wait it sounds perverted"

"Reaper, there looks like something is on your nose...it appears to be the color brown. :P " -LC Nurel Turr

"hahahaha Brian the paperwork-byotch.. Bwhahaha" -AD Joe

"We have a new Toilet Duck/Idiot(everyone chooses his own way to call him, i'll stay on the "Toilet Duck" thingie
The Toilet Duck(WC for those who dont know) plans to set up some competitions. I thing we all should be afraid of it :/ " -CM Airamags

"- My wife's corner:
I got not much to say except: Hi guys and a HOT kiss from Magda :* Signed: Magda, Airam's wife :) " -CM Airamags

"You'd think anyone clever enough to invent the virus would be capable of composing one sentence
of grammatical English to go with it." -COL Inkwolf

"I will be stuck in Korea, freezing, counting down the next 344 days.
Merry Christmas or should I say Bah Humbug" -CM Kahooli

"If I knew where Arlins lived, I would personally place the smackdown on those pathetic, moronic, jackasses that caused a friend pain and suffering...." -MAJ Talons

"Random Fact/Thought/Quote of the Week: Well they finally captured him and I must say that Saddam looks pretty docile with a big beard... Hmm... Santa?" -CM Kronar

"Until next week, this is CM Ras Kronar saying: Watch your six... But if you can watch it with your front turned to the mirror.. Think about dieting." -CM Kronar

"Yah I'll be around. Apart from obvious times where drinking much alcohol is traditional, and the next day when I'll be suffering from a beast of a hangover. Though I do tend to fly better then, oddly enough...." -COL Mini Minkus

"Traditions? Uuhhh, each year either my mom's side of the family comes over or we go over their place. I usually sit at my computer cause they bore me to death with pointless tales of nothing or my cousin singing Karioke with the echo turned way up.
I prefer to stay at any video game wielding machine then anything during Christmas." -CM Sirik

"Noon001: how does she look?
Anonymous: at least four drinks
Noon001: FLOL!
Noon001: it took you 4 drinks for her to look good?
Anonymous: no, four drinks for me to stop thinking "God she's ugly" -AD Joe

"Hehe, "a very humor game." I remember those. :p
I have come to a conclusion. Hackers are, without a doubt, the densest heaps of aging roadkill that the information superhighway has to offer.
I mean, how does the "X" in "HaX0r" equal the "ck" in "hacker"? Is it some sort of dialect? I'd suggest that maybe all hackers were Germans, but... Germans aren't that stupid. 0_0
::watches Carl put his lightsaber back away:: " -Doctor Chris

"*raises an eyebrow*
hmm?
*takes the special edition 5inch diameter rusty needle out of a violin-case, screws it onto his laser-sighted precision syringe and loads it with an especially nasty mix of HG fresh from
the HGB and the "usual" laxative/sedatives. *
cry havok and let slip the Docs of war.
any last words?" -COL Wemmel

"Yes, in fact I do. I'd like to say that all Germans are very much badass, unless they don't want to be, in which case they can be very well benevolent and all, but by default they are the most badassed people in the world.
::watches Jan relax a bit::
::watches Mickk stand up::
And Aussies, too! Aussies are also the most badassed people in the world like the Germans! Yes, yes, they don't have to be so, but all Aussies are innately badass and they're proud of it and so they don't change and all Aussies are therefore just as badassed as the Germans!...
::runs off to avoid a screaming mob of Germans and Aussies:: " -Doctor Chris

"I think every country has a good share of really dumb people, that's surely no question of nationality. :P " -LC Tempest

"Ah yes, welcome!
As a new member of Wing I, perhasp you need a little orientation guide.
Let's see... the first 99,999 pages of the 100,000 page orientation guide include the dangers involved in being a member of Wing I.
Covered articles are:
HGBs (Chapters 3-10)
Lambda barracks and various odors/sock related issues (Ch. 15-50)
L (Ch. 55)
S (Ch. 56)
D (Ch. 57)
Ballista (Ch. 58, foldout pages 70,032-70,033)
Wookiees (Ch. 59, foldout pages 71,986-71.987 - if you swing that
way)
Dangerous Rebels (Ch. 11-13)
Dangerous Imperials (Ch. 14)
Dangerously drunk Wing I members (Page 1: Wing I roster diagram)
The hazards of flying drunk (Ch. 99-101)
The benefits of flying drunk (Ch. 102-150)
And that's just Volume 1 (We'll start you off on some *light* reading... Don't want to overwhelm the new guy ;) " -LC Freelancer

"Well, that's a good start, but you forgot to add the chapters on Crusher, making use of the HGBs, and how to win QotWs (seems to have something to do with saying suckafoo...) =P " -MAJ Argon

"Has anyone seen the new AOL commercials with Snoop Dog and Jerry Stiller? I believe it's one of the funniest things ever, just because they use the word minizzle, as in "Now wait just one minizzle." FOr some reason that strikes me as hilarious. Therefore, I'm going to start using it myself. MY first new word comes from medieval history. Defenestration, to throw from a window. Therefore, from this day forward, the word shall now be know as defenestrizzle, as in, "Don't make me defenestrizzle your ass." Thank you." -LC Mike "defenestrizzler" Chistu

"You have three minizzles to get your own topic before you're defenestrizzled to the shizzle ;) " -LT Brin Chaser

"Anyways, another word from history, Roman this time. Decimate - To kill every tenth person, the punishment used for mutinous legions and cities. It shall now be known as Decmizzle, which is what is what has happened to Free's brain cells from all that alcohol poisoning =P " -MAJ Argon

"Pffft. Being from the alcoholic Brit and Crazy Canuck regimes is still nothing compared to be around from the bizzare Iowan's reign of terror. He had killer cats an everything. >:P " -COL Mini Minkus

"Don't forget he had Dylan the Deranged Donkey.....Oh, or was that one of the politer nicknames we gave him.......Meh *shrugs and walks off to try and source his next drink* " -VA Reaper

"I'll have you know that me drooling over twizzlers is VERY much on topic!" -LC Freelancer

"1. Oh crap, I'm turning into TYPOMAN!!! /me leaps out of a third story window to land on Protons' car and survive... Oh crap, that's even worse. /me takes refuge in the HGBs for a few months. =P
2. Okay, so tri-decimizzle? I have trouble imagining more than that beating the BGs in a strategy competition. Of course, I may just be giving them too much credit... *ba-zing!!!* =P" -MAJ Argon

"Bah, who cares about aussies, maybe you should fly 20 by the end of the week for telling your CMDR what to do :P " -COL Jon

"General Sasquatch has retired to the Reserves.
/me looks around
Damnit. Did I actually volunteer to do all this paperwork?" -COL Brian

"I don't give orders too often, but I'm giving you all one now: Forget the message that prompted this message. It's early and I'm not exactly awake yet...
Drat, I wish I was a Dark Jedi Knight... Just wave my hand and say "You don't remember this..." -LC Josh

-----
COM-PROF/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign
IC/SSx4/BS/PC/ISMx2/IS-1BW-1SW-1GW/CoLx2/OV-3E [CNTR] {IWATS-FLA-RT-SM/2-TM}

Proton's Imperial Portal:
http://www.imperialmight.org