SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 1-21-03

COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- Operation Outrageous Fortune is under way. Fleets have been formed and beginning grids have been plotted. Now the tension will build until fleets collide.

-- COL Stele Pellaeon reports that the Wing II RPG Competition was a smash hit:
So as you see, Rho Squadron is victorious in this one month RPG competition and has been awarded a plaque to display on their web site. Sin Squadron will be awarded one too for coming in Second. Expect to see the plaques this weekend. (They're still being made =P)
As for medals. MAJ Carl Lost is awarded the Iron Star-Bronze Wing for having flown the most in the squadron that came in second place. 56 missions throughtout the 30 days of the competition. Awesome flying, Carl.
CM Viper is awarded the Iron Star-Silver Wing for having flown the most in the winning squadron by having flown an astounding 167 missions! Excellent work Viper. I salute you and your amazing activity.
Good work to everyone and I hope it was as fun for you as it was for me =)

-- Coming next: The SSSD Sovereign RPG Competition? This is what Stele and I discussed before the Wing II event. If that worked, we would take it ship-wide. Stele, please follow up with me with details on this.

-- TAC/AD Mike speaketh:
Gentlemen, please pass is down through chain of command.
Recently, I've noticed that many pilots are skipping missions and submit them to CMDRs. What's more, CMDRs process them, even thought they are invalid.
Skipping missions is not allowed (however it's not something what will bring you upon HCI). All battles with skipped missions will be removed from your profiles.
I can understand someone can make mistake, however all must know rules and follow them. If I will noticed someone is ignoring my orders, and will still skip missions in his BSFs, I will sent him to SO to expain himself "ignoring TAC's orders".
If there is problem with battle because of patch, contact SCO. If there is fatal bug (0,1% chance), post bug report and wait till battle gets fixed.

SO/FA Brad speaketh:
Remember to use the chain of command first when reporting complaints. Almost 2/3 of the time complaints are better handled by your superior officers. They can get them resolved faster since I have a large number of complaints and each of mine needs thorough investigations as I send people to the High Court of Inquisitors if I find them suspect. Also, do not send an entire log file of the channel. Including some of the log before incidents happened helps, but I do not need to see logs of several months before (or after) a violation.

-- Aleth vs. Mem, one of the latest squadron contests of note.

-- From FO/FA Priyum:
We have a new Training Message board. Cadets are free to use this board
to post any questions they may have about their training where I'm sure
helpful members of the TC will respond.
http://www.ehnet.org/mb/viewforum.php?f=115

-- The Rat Pack may fly again, soon ...

-- New pets of the Wing V WC: CPT Cook the Parrot, Stick the Mimic. Products of a wing contest run by LC Frodo.

-- New pets of the Wing I WC: Three 8-foot-tall killer socks. Products of stowaway socks of Freelancer and the diseased mind of LC Mike.

-- COL Inkwolf reports: Just a timely reminder, by the way:
WING II WAS REACTIVATED JANUARY 26, 1999!
Woohoo!
Anyone interested in the wing's glorious history
can access all existing, pre-Ford, old reports here:
http://www.redrival.com/hammerhead/wingii/oldnews.html

-- The Dark Sentinel, the EH's Newsletter. Contributions from the TC have been lax lately. Everyone think of stuff to submit, and pick up some LoAs.

-- Of possible interest, grabbed from a Dark Brotherhood mailing list I'm on -- desktops/starwarsgalaxies.station.sony.com/media/media.jsp#wallpaper
http://www.lucasarts.com/products/battlegrounds/
http://www.lucasarts.com/products/starwarsbountyhunter/downloads.html

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/SL Aresis Lothorekith/Sadhe 1-3
FM/CM Nic Rety/Aleth 3-2
FM/SL Moonquaker/Gamma 2-2
FM/CPT Goose/Sadhe 3-3
FM/CPT Abel Malik/Beth 2-2

SSSD Sovereign [168]

Wing I [31]
Wing II [35]
Wing III [32]
Wing IV [37]
Wing V [32]

Omega Squadron [8]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in
#ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time.

-- SBOTM for January:
TIE-TC #194 Terrorist Attack (updated by TAC on 1/21/03)
XvT-TC #40 Leaders of New Republic
XWA-TC #32 Rebel Resurgence
Send pilot files to LC Todbringer at todbringer@poczta.onet.pl and cc: AD Proton at hullbreach@warpmail.net by midnight Jan. 30.

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign

Message board:
http://boards.minos.net

The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

TRASH TALK OF THE WEEK

"We are you first, last, and ONLY line of defense against alien scum
(*scratches that out*) Red Fleet scum." -LC "MiB" Freelancer

"I`ve got everyone I need. Ready to humiliate the other wings in an unimaginable way that would evidently end up in frequent nose bleads in the middle of the night for JD.:P " -LC Frodo

COMMAND RANT OF THE WEEK

"No! No ski for you until you fly!" -GN Compton

"I WANT THESE FILES BY THE END OF THE MONTH!!!! It goes until the 26th
officially but Gen has extended it by a few. FLY OR GET BLOWN OUT THE
AIRLOCK. These are mandatory flights! DO IT OR GET NASTY LITTLE LETTERS OF
DEMOTION TO THE NEXT AVAILABLE GARBAGE SCOW!!!!!" -MAJ Talons Pryde

CANTINA COMMENTS

"WooHoo Me opens up 3 cases of 25 Year old Scotch and passes the bottles
around (Ive kept them stashed in my old Wing VI locker)now lets get this
party started Y'all!!" -CM Viper

" *Ignites jetpack while Pokemaster of Wing III throws him a case of bacta* WOHO! Free meet me in the Lambda Baracks, ITS RAIDING TIME!" -Sirik"Vengence is mine Proton!" Xirok

"And NO im not saying drinks are on me...I learnt why not to do that in Kappa :p And yes, i am scared too. first I fly, now i get a promo...... :p " -CM Tim

"In my opinion, they are rolemodels. Well....except when
Timmay is drunk kangaroo and when Viper dresses up like that swedish chef
Bork." -COL Stele Pellaeon

"Hey, now! My socks do NOT have arms, I told you! They tried evolving
limbs, it didn't work!
They *can*, however, jump pretty far." -LC Freelancer

"Why am I refered to as a potted plant..." -LC "chloraphyll imbalance" Mike

"Okay... Sirik, here's the plan... See those fifteen burly
stormtroopers guarding the front door to Proton's bar? The ones with
L S and D waiting right behind them for anybody to even try to take
Proton's booze? You go that way, and when you try to take the booze
they'll be busy, er, "distracted", and I'll go in through the air
duct and make a clean getaway? Okay? good, GO!" -LC Freelancer

" **The Beautiful but Deadly Ballista waits in the shadows of Proton's bar,
caressing the leather handle of her cat-o-nine-tails**
>:) " -AD Proton

"*tosses IR Googles to Free* Listen there is a person I can bearly make out but I it holding a whip like weapon, they have Night Visison Googles on!*throws Flash-Bang Gernade and throws* This should temporarily blind them! Especially with NV Googles on. *Robs bar RUNS* " -Sirik Xirok

"EH THONGS?
Watch out everyone. From now I I wouldn't distrub stele when he is at work in his office...
http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/prod.aspx?p=emperor.4296719
This are the offending articles, Stele has recently aquired a few pairs for when he works on doing BSFs
So words of warning don't randomly walk into steles office without first making sure he isn't working." -LC Jon Doyle

"EeeeeeeeeWWWWWWWWW!!
Stele in a THONG?
That's just too scary to even think about!" -LC Mickk Emrys

"Hey, you asked for it. Are you prepared to actually see me in that
thong?" -COL Stele "look at the pic if you dare..." Pellaeon

"Is this a consumer survey? cause I have 4 words for ya:
Emperor's Hammer Wonder Bra!!! " -COL Astarosta

"ok can i just state since when did the EH make undergarments? i mean are we so desperate for money that they had to make a thong.... its kind of disturbeing... and also... why would anyone in there right mind want to see stele in one! i mean eww. =P" -MAJ Seth

"For his excelent service in the Freelancer Drunken Militia, Sirik Xirok has been awarded the Drunken Arse of Honor, for outsmarting Balista!
CONGRATS! " -Sirik"I'm dead now" Xirok

"You know, it's been quite a while since we've had a
lady in the squadron. I guess I'll have to start acting like and officer
and a gentleman again, won't I? No more hootin' and hollerin' at female
pilots, deck crew, Sov personnel...*sniff*" -LC Josh Popelka

"You see?! That's your problem! Always in a rush! Never savoring
anything! You're like a dog who bolts its food! BAD dog! *spank* Bad!
Sit, Argon! Siiiiiiit! Staaaaay, Argoooon, stay! Drink, Argon, drink!" -LC Freelancer

"As you know, my new pet is Captain CookJ He is a nice bright green parrot created by LC Benjamin Jahou Morgan.
Starting now, he will have great words of Wisdom in each and every reportJThis week’s words are: harrrrrr harrr, rightful treats for flying harrr there is…" -LC Frodo

"I hear that CPT Cook can peck people’s eyes out…" -LC Frodo

"Talons kicks Argon into the airlock, seals it and grins madly as he
depresses the ejection button...
"It is my phricking job to blow people out airlocks thank you very much!" -MAJ Talons Pryde

"Freelancer's voice comes from the air vent

"Ooh! I forgot I put a stash of Proton's Bourbon (Capital Pee capital
Bee) in here! Party time!"
Party music begins emenating from all the vent grilles on this deck." -LC Freelancer

"Enjoy it while you can. /me runs a gas pipe into the vent and tosses in a match ;) Dunno if that was necessary, all it really might have needed is your breath ;P " -MAJ Argon Viper

"Just a little note, don't put school before TC, the only excusable item to put before TC is girls, (or for those of you who are female or sway that other way guys).." -CM Zexipher Van Taelyan

"Mike then walks in and takes the beer away from Argon.
"No you don't. From now on, new policy. All drinks in Wing I must be
injected using IV bags. Less costly to the consumer. If you need an IV
bag, you'll have to come to me." -LC "gotta have my fix" Mike

" /me takes out his clipboard and supplies a psychiatrist's couch for Mike.
Now tell me, were abused as a child? ;P " -MAJ Argon Viper

"Arg, my young friend, you should be the one sitting in the couch not next to
it.... So tell me, What was your relationship with your mother (Freudian
sounding)" -MAJ Talons Pryde

"It's all right, Inky was just trying to make sure
everyone knew exactly the buttload of work that Ronin
does for the pathetic likes of us. And many people
really don't have any clue." -Doctor Chris

"You are from England.. you should have better music tastes than Drowning Pool" -COL Bilbo

"We really need to recruit and get some fresh blood into Psi squadron.
Bob is raring for some new legs to scratch." -LC Jon Doyle

"Also watch out for the Wing commander's thongs as these are the things of
the day. helps him work in his office apparently so don't barge in
unexpected or get an eyeful ;)" -LC Jon Doyle

"Phrase of the Week (this one can be told to your superiors after a long day/night of drinking and you…slip up while flying):
My Tie Fighter is in the river." -MAJ Nurel Turr

"I am going to use that so many times...you wouldn't believe how easy it is to do. One moment, you're out of the cantina and into the cotpit, the next momnet, water is rising up to your chin. I don't know how I manage it, honestly..." -LCM HicRic

"dooh...
I'll go sit in the corner,
and remind to stop reading e-mail when I am belligerantly drunk" -COL Bi|bo

"I hope you will ... ahem ... forgive me if I'll not partecipate to the grueish party with raw dead rebels to eat ... even if I'll eagerly try to drink something alcoholic instead." -LC Ixion Deathbringer

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I made this the flight 3 nickname back when I became FL of
flight 3 over 3 years ago. It makes me sad to see it go. I loved it. Ah,
well. Best of luck to that new crap...I mean motto. :)" -LC Mike

"Ooh, we have a chef now? Viper, I want a Gungan
steak, laser broiled, well-done, please. In fact,
just like the one I peeled off the window of my
gunboat after the last space battle...." -COL Inkwolf

"Well Inkwolf would you like your Gungan served with Bordalaise Sauce and a
side of Kessel mine mushrooms with extra garlic braised in Corellian Ale or
Straight up with aujus and baked potato?
You name it I can cook it!" -CM Viper

"Surprise me! :D
Oh, wait....that isn't a very wise thing to say in
an organization with our unusual sense of humor,
is it?
(Inky shudders and waits to see what horror
arrives on the plate....)" -COL Inkwolf

"Here you are Inky dinner is served as you can see your Gungan steak laser
charred to perfection under my Missile boats laser and served with
Chandrilaian Squall sausage, Kessel Mine mushrooms, Ewok Demi glace and the
final touch a pair of deep fried Gungan ears fanned out on the plate rim for
garnish.(Kids don't try this at home I am a trained professional )" -LCM Viper

"... Gungan steaks!?! ... Nooo... *hurls* " -AD Proton

"Whaaat? Tastes just like chicken of the sea. :D " -COL Inkwolf

"Am I still being whored off? :P" -CPT Zekk Terrik

"If you are, does one have to reserve your services
in advance, or what? What's the hourly rate? And
are refunds considered in case of failure to
fulfill expectations? :D" -COL Inkwolf

"Sure. I go for $50/hr., $40 if you promise to promote me afterwards.
That's how I made Captain, y'know.
And I fulfill expectations, baby. :P" -CPT Zekk Terrik

"Hmmm.....a night with Zekkie, or a computer
upgrade, or a new mountain bike? Choices, choices...." -COL Inkwolf

"Gutted. When a CMDR as good as C steps down, he should be lavished with
mind-numbing alcohol and scantily clad Twi'lek heathen corn-fed nympho pilot
shaggers! But, I expect WT would dissaprove, so I'm willing to take the
bullet in the name of all that Compton has done for the squad :P Anything
for the Don of Omega!" -MAJ Brandon

"Noooooooo!!! Please, anything...! Moj Tie Fighter jest w rzece!!!
/me runs up to the nearest Stormie and kicks his shins" -LCM HicRic

"Here's another one:
Plywam sobie w rzece, w grudniu, szukajac TIE Fightera, bo moj WC sie
wscieknie jak nie zaczne latac.
Translation:
I'm swimming in the river, in December, looking for my TIE Fighter,
coz my WC gos mad when I won't start flying :P " -MAJ Mayk Wolverine

"I don't remember anything except the cantina, drinks, and almost drowning. :P" -LCM HicRic

CHRONICLES OF THE DISSOLVED COLON
(Selections from the Sovereign's historical archives)

-QotW, dissolved colon division (Wing II report 4/9/2000): "::Harkonnen runs to his bunk, grabs a
strange black module, and returns, chanting a low bass rumble. The module
amplifies the sound and channels it... When the vibrations are synchronized
enough, Harkonnen suddenly points the module first at Uriel K'rrden's
stomach, then at Sauron Tarrke, and unleashes two massive sound waves. The
new recruits feel a sinking feeling in their bellies as the sound wave
passes through and their colons are instantaneously dissolved...:: Who'd have
thought? I modified an Atreides weirding module and converted it into a
Harkonnen Colon Conversion Gun..." -MAJ Harkonnen

COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign