SSSD SOVEREIGN NEWS, 1-15-03

COM/AD Proton reporting for the SSSD Sovereign, flagship of the Emperor's Hammer Strike Fleet.

SOVEREIGN AND FLEET NEWS AND NOTES

-- Operation Outrageous Fortune begins Sunday, Jan. 19. Watch for news updates from the task force admirals, LCs Frodo and Jon Doyle, and the War Officer, AD Pel.

-- I'm looking for a volunteer to do an award graphic / plaque / cup / medallion / whatever for display by personnel of the winning side of the
upcoming Operation Outrageous Fortune wargame aboard the Sovereign.
Info for the designer: The wargame includes fighting in TIE, XWA, XvT, JK2 and SWGB, so elements of fighter, capital ship, ground force and
hand-to-hand combat may be depicted if desired. Of course, the name of the op, Operation Outrageous Fortune, should be included, with the
optional subtitle of SSSD Sovereign Comp to End All Comps. Direct any inquiries or submittals to me at hullbreach@warpmail.net.

-- SSSD Sovereign Battles of the Month for January:
TIE-TC #194 Terrorist Attack
XvT-TC #40 Leaders of New Republic
XWA-TC #32 Rebel Resurgence
Send pilot files to the January coordinator, LC Todbringer, at todbringer@poczta.onet.pl and cc: AD Proton at hullbreach@warpmail.net by midnight Jan. 30.

-- Nun vs. Storm: Nun wins. Congrats, Nun!

-- Wing IV beats Wing X by default because the Wing X/ship brass, eh, lost the results. Good show, IV!

-- Wing III loses to Wing XI. Better luck next time, III!

-- FA Priyum reports:
TIE Corps Banner Design Competition
As many of you may have noticed, the TIE Corps' current front page banner, found here, shows the wrong page address. To correct this I've decided to hold a small competition to design a new banner, with the correct URL. This competition is open to all TC members, including Reservists. The size of the banner should be similar to the current one, but that's not particularly important. All submissions should be sent to spellfire@btinternet.com zipped and with the email subject "TC Banner".
You have until 26th January to get your submissions in. The designer of the selected banner will receive the Iron Star - Gold Ribbon, with further awards going to other submissions.


-- FA Priyum reports:
Fleet Standing Orders
http://www.btinternet.com/~spellfire/fo.html
The rules on Command reports have been clarified, so now there's no excuse for not knowing. To summarise:
Squadron Commanders: Reports expected EVERY week.
Wing Commanders: Report expected EVERY week.
Commodores: Reports expected at least BI-WEEKLY.
Battlegroup Commanders: Reports expected EVERY week.
The only exceptions to this is with COM reports - BGCOMs may require their COMs to submit reports on a more regular basis.
Remember that reports should be sent to everyone directly under your authority and to everyone in the chain of command above you, including the Flight Office.

-- FA Priyum reports:
Over the past week, myself and the Security Officer have been sent several logs in which people have been acting less than courteously towards other members...in some cases blatantly ignoring the Codes of Conduct (http://www.emperorshammer.org/irc.htm). In case you're not aware, ALL Emperor's Hammer channels fall under these rules...from #Tiecorps down to #ZetaSquadronFlight3BarRoom. These rules aren't there to stop you having fun, but they are there to make sure you don't behave in ways people will find offensive.
Break these rules and you will be sent to the SO.

-- The Mr and Miss EH nomination process is open:
http://www.division-stormwind.org/lo/mrmiss2003/
I've already made my nominations. Join the fun, then when the voting starts, get back there and vote for your favorite officers (Sovereign personnel, of course).

FORCE STRENGTH

-- Give a big Sovereign welcome to these new or returning pilots:
FM/SL Mirax Klivian/Hey 3-4

SSSD Sovereign [169]

Wing I [31]
Wing II [38]
Wing III [32]
Wing IV [36]
Wing V [31]

Omega Squadron [8]

SHIP COMPETITIONS

-- Sovereign Nighthawk Multiplayer Competition, each Friday night in
#ehcoc on IRC, 3 to 6 p.m. eastern time.

-- SBOTM for January:
TIE-TC #194 Terrorist Attack
XvT-TC #40 Leaders of New Republic
XWA-TC #32 Rebel Resurgence
Send pilot files to LC Todbringer at todbringer@poczta.onet.pl and cc: AD Proton at hullbreach@warpmail.net by midnight Jan. 30.

SHIP COMMUNICATIONS

IRC channel: #SSSD_Sovereign

Message board:
http://boards.minos.net

The SSSD Sovereign Cantina Song:
http://www.minos.net/~proton/drink.html

COMMAND RANT OF THE WEEK

"We won't be able to pull this one off with just two pilots Gentlemen!!!!! FLY DAMN YOU ALL!!!!!!!!" -CM Jennif

"We have to kick the crap out of Epsilon... EVERYONE FLY THE REQUIRED
MISSIONS AND I WILL NOT GET UPSET!!!!!!!!!!! This comp is mandatory
participation unless otherwise excused... FLY YOU GOD FORSAKEN PILOTS!
FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" -MAJ Talons Pryde

TRASH TALK OF THE WEEK.

"Sweetheart, if I die I'm taking your whole fricking squadron with me!!!!!!!!" -CM Jennif

"Er…. In order:
No, Lambda’s not going down.
Yes, I do know how to install the XWA missions.
No, not after you just dissed my squad, homie. :P " -CPT Flelm

"Grr... well, ok. Ok. Enough of this. Free's right. We should stop with the inter-Wing trash talk and focus on Omega. We need to save all our wit, because most of the cracks will probably be over their head." -CPT Flelm

"You know, it might be a good idea to send them on a patrol close to a "flare star"*, that way, they could never have kids and the world would be spared another round of Omega'ans ;) " -MAJ Argon Viper

Mike: Are we EVER going to fight?
Compton: You wanna fight?
YOU WANNA FIGHT?!?
Cbaoth99: YEs.
Compton: Stick your head up my butt and fight for air!

"Keep a look out for Operartion Outrageous Fortune. it starts the 19th.
Let's push back those WIng II, Wing IV, and Omega pansies." -LC Mike

"It sounds like the way to resolve this is for Wing IV to go over there
and kick their asses again >:) " -AD Proton

"Yeah go on Wing IV give them an asskicking they will never forget WOOT!!!!!" -COL Reaper

CANTINA COMMENTS

"Yea but I was referring to the Wing, not everyone in general. I mean how
can we be civilized if we are always getting thrown into the HGB, trash
talking, throwing people out of airlocks, throwing alcohol at people,
drinking more then flying, stealing booze, bashing people with maces. (I
think I covered most of it :))" -CM Gyssler

"Hm. Maybe you're right. I guess I'm the only one who's civilized here.
No wonder I don't fit in very well." -COL Gen

"::Freelancer walks up to the situation, wearing a full straight
jacket covered with three layers of chains and padlocks, ankle
shackles that made him hobble terribly, a Hannibal Lecter face mask,
and two Psychiatrists leading him past with poles and wires looped
around his neck::
"Yeah, not amongst us civilized people! -urk- gotta to!" -LC Freelancer

"Not attall, my dear old chap... Here at Wing I we have the finest
civilities that British imitation can provide! Care for an afternoon
of polo followed with a late tea? ;)" -LC Freelancer

"Quite. But you'll pardon me if I don't play cricket with a sticky Wicket?
It's just abomidable how ewok hair sticks to your hands and everything else." -COL Gen

"Quite, quite! How about we dally for a while then take a carriage
down to the pub for a quaff or two, what what?" -LC Freelancer

" Oh jolly good. I must warn you old chap, however I do prefer something other than bitters or darks. But I suppose we could try a pint or two of the house favorite." -COL Gen

"Good show! Then off to the house of your choice for a follow-up and
some sport, eh?" -LC Freelancer

"Why, good man, I was merely thinking of a nice fox hunt or perhaps
some skeet shooting. Dreadfully sorry for the misunderstanding, ole
bean." -LC Freelancer

"Oh quite right, nothing wrong with a bit of sport.
However, I much prefer to be chased by the foxes than the normal way." -COL Gen

"Pint or Two? Bloodly heck, I have a Pint or 5! Maybe a delightful fox hunt after that will digest the beer quicker good bean. Lord Nelson, look at the time must run, todle loooo........." -Sirik Xirok

" /me rushes in after a long day of drinking...
Ahhhh! Ooops, missed the urinal and got it all over
the pipes and flusher. Hope no one sees the mess.
/whistles as he walks out..." -MAJ Nurel Turr

"Actually, from what I remember, I believe that the scorpion pits for
CCK were transformed into the HGB because the hutt was placed on top
of them... My imagination just kind of filled in how they turned into
HGB (hutts can't use human bathrooms, methinks)" -LC Freelancer

"Actually, technically, we're Wing I, so we should be allotted the liquid portion of the HGB.
Wing II should be sent to the solid waste area.
And I shudder to think what the other wings deserve!" -COL Gen Es'mith

""NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Freelancer reacts with a gut instinct, and flings himself towards the
incoming drink. In a heartbeat almost slowed down to a pause, he
manuvers his mouth to collect the large amount of booze inside the
drink, closes his mouth, jerks out of the way of the moving glass,
and swallows as he touches down in perfect Olympic style
"Oh YEAH!" -LC Freelancer

"Gah! Not good alcohol!
/me licks the booze off of Free and glares at Argon. :P " -CPT Flelm

"I think I'munna be sick! Where's the disinfectant?!?! Hurry!!" -LC Freelancer

"Hmmm, if you did that, what was Flelm licking off of you? ;P " -MAJ Argon Viper
" /me feels sick.
*I* certainly don't want to know... :( " -CPT Flelm

"Free is mostly on here, but it's more than one hutt ... it's Crusher the
hutt, Kramer's old secretary, *and* he/she/its friends, who have moved in
as "squatters" to fill the HGBs.
It takes more than one hutt to dump on a Wing I pilot ... or something
like that. > ;) " -AD Proton

" And gag-reflex pun-of-the-week goes to.... *drum roll*
PROTON! SovCOM Proton, come on dooooown! (*cough*award presented
inside HGBs*cough*) " -LC Freelancer

"I don't buy that Flelm, not unless your "lick" is 1 year
retro-active. Sadly (for you, I assume), I have been this way for a
long time. It's baffled the Fleet Medi-Core for so long they just
gave up and quarantined me from ever having offspring." -LC Freelancer

"And that's a bad thing?" -CM Gyssler

"Free, you must not remember, because of the trauma ... dude, you were not
merely quarantined from ever having offspring. Really, in actuality,
there was a medcorps order for a bit of, shall we say, "castration
without anesthesia." Leaving, of course, LC "Eunech" Freelancer. ;) " -AD Proton

"Well, how's this... We keep this a secret between you and me, and we
begins marketing my saliva as a "get-'happy'-quick" all-natural remedy
to other wings. I'm sure we could make lots of credits. :P We'll just
use you as an example of a successful and happy customer." -CPT Flelm

"Heh, surely newbies need to prove themselves, if not in combat then
socially, before an award like a CoL is given. Who's up for getting Penfold
blind drunk and spinning him round till he pukes?!?! No, ok, looks like
another Friday night on my own then...fancied a change as well!" -MAJ Brandon

"I think one of my cookie killers actually offs those poor GIF's..." -CPT Mage

"Rockin' Vader! Hiss, hiss, hiss! Rockin' Vader!
Hiss, hissy-hiss! :P" -MAJ Nurel Turr

"One more thing, CPT Flelm ... have you ever considered legally changing
your name? Every time I read it, I think of phlegm.
No offense :) " -AD Proton

"Ah, it's ok. I get that all the time. At least you're one of the few
who spell phlegm correctly. *grin* " -CPT Flelm

"LMAO!
Nice work, I want a DJ'ing Ewok for Kaph's Patch. :D " -LCM HicRic

" Just another question. I've got the mission installed correctly, now how
do I fly it?" -MAJ Argon Viper

"VERY CAREFULLY!!!!!" -MAJ Talons Pryde

":: turns and throws her mace at Argon's head ::
Keep your nose out, Commander!" -CM Jennif

"/me deftly ducks the thrown mace. I'm not in it, I just remarked on the entertainment value of it." -MAJ Argon Viper

"Talons casually walks up on Argon. "Oh yeah? Dowdge this," he says as he
places his lightsaber in the center of his back and activates it..." -MAJ Talons Pryde

"I'm sure there's a malfunctioning medical droid somewhere to patch you up, let's go see if we can find it, eh?" -COL Gen Es'mith

"/me pulls the lightsaber out of his back and throws Talons out the airlock, breaking the saber first. You know, you're lucky you didn't hit anything vital or I'd feed you to Crusher the hutt..." -MAJ Argon Viper

"Leave poor Argy alone(yes I called him Argy)! He was only unleashing his ultimate rage like I do! *pulls out saber and force pushes Argon's lifeless body to the sick bay* Now who wants some?!?!" -Sirik"DIE FOOLS" Xirok

"Heh, nope, I deleted my sqadron's files after I PROPERLY submitted them to the TC Database and to WC Halcyon, and he PROPERLY documented the scores and submitted them to Wing X.. By the way..
I'll yell at Mairin, if you don't want to :p" -COL Ricardo

"Lol, the only person who can yell here is me :)
Maybe she has also deleted the scores (like you) but before sending
them ? :))))))" -MAJ Mayk Wolverine

"I'm wondering what kind of qualifications it takes to yell... because we're all obviously adept enough... :P" -CPT Mage

"I am the official Blue task force leader, which means that for this particular Wargame I will be in charge of Wings I, IV, and V. Hehe, Wolvie just can't seem to evade my leadership:P " -LC Frodo

"I dunno where you get your delusions laser-brain :P
We have NOT been defeated...
It's called a tactical retreat *nods reasurringly*
Any further comments like that and you shall be hanged by a jury of your peers.. well.. by a jury at least, for making pro-rebel remarks :)" -CM Ras Kronar

""Ill get the little beater, One Sirik stew, coming right up!" -LCM Pheonixus

"Murkrow's wise words of the week: "If at first you don't succeed, sky diving's not for you" -MAJ Murkrow Defender

"Well, at least he THINKs it's water... we've really just been giving
him a diet of pure Gin. Here at Wing I we care about our pilots. We
keep them drunk." -LC Freelancer

" Tear up your tab?
**wild laughter**
On the contrary, even inquiring of such a possibility earns you a trip to
HGB 451 (praying-to-porcelain-gods section).
**Dude casually tosses Sirik down the chute to the too-drunk-hutts
section of the HGB complex** " -AD Proton

"*begins to cry*
It feels like both my legs are broken I will try to stand up*hear's legs snap* Can you toss me a band-aid or maybe some alchol the wound is begin to smell of almonds. ANything?*something begins to lick the wound* ahhh help? Proton? Argon? free?*notices an old jetpack* Ahh Yea! Now I need some fuel and Alchol and I can get out of here!" -Sirik"HELP ME SOMEONE!" Xirok

"Oh, Im still alive but badly injured. Could you please throw me a stick to take my brane out and disable my pain receptors please? No?" -Sirik"Mustafa is better" Xirok

"LF? Leftfoot, right?" -AD Proton

"No, just a general nonsensical typo, Proton. Sorry, next time I'll
put hidden meanings in my typos to reveal my inner mental processes
(thus making Proton cry if he discovers them)" -LC Freelancer

"paint fumes? No... My theory is HGB fumes... They're in there so much
their clothes simply cannot be cleansed of the odor, and it robs
their brains of the oxygen so precious to higher faculty usage." -LC "Opens a can of air" Scrooblancer (erm, "Freelancer")

" Gah!!! Replace Month with day, not day with month. You know what I mean! you have 14 HOURS left:P
/me hopes this won't be a quote of the week in any reports..." -LC Frodo

JOKES FROM STELE

---A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. At the last second, he thought of the priest with him and realized he couldn't run over the lawyer, so he swerved, but he heard a thump anyway. Looking back as he drove on, he didn't see anything. He began to apologize for his behavior to the priest. "I'm sorry, Father. I barely missed that lawyer at the side of the road."
But the priest said, "Don't worry, son. I got him with my door."

---Mr. Smith, a businessman from Wyoming, had to take a business trip to Arizona. As soon as he arrived, he sent an e-mail to his wife, Diane. However, Mr. Smith wasn't the best typist, and he made an error in the address, so the e-mail ended up going to a Mrs. Diana Smith, the wife of a preacher who had just passed away. The preacher's wife took one look at the e-mail and promptly fainted. When she was finally revived, she pointed to the e-mail message with a shaky hand.
"Arrived safely, but it sure is hot down here!"

COM/AD Proton/SSSD Sovereign