|
The one where Airyu gets carried away again |
| THIS WEEK'S GRUDGE MATCH |
IMPERIAL PILOTS
VS
FINAL EXAMS
Airyu: *walks into the wing briefing room*
Greetings, gentlemen. Shall we play a game?
Paco: Uh....
JDF1984: Airyu, what are you
smoking?
Airyu: A wargame!!!
Jer: Ooh, war!
Frankie: Ooh, I love
Battleship!
Gaunt: *smacks Frankie* So what wargame would
this be?
Airyu: Well, I'm glad you asked! Otherwise, we
would've remained in an endless loop of Gaunt abusing Frankie until his head
exploded and spilled all over the room. *ponders* Actually, that would've
been pretty funny.
Gaunt: *smacks Frankie again* It's like a
pinata!
Airyu: ... no. Anyway, as a a
prelude to the Supremacy Comp, we're participating in a wargame with the Grey
Wolf.
Gaunt: The Grey Wolf, eh? I hear they're really
good.
Frankie: Yeah, lots of pilots from the Poland
system.
Airyu: Yep, that's why we need a plan of action.
Any ideas?
*crickets*
Paco: Um... we could use
penguins?
Airyu: *presses the penguins button, releasing a swarm
upon Paco*
Justi: Come in.
Airyu: Hey, sorry to bother you, you look pretty
busy.
Justi: Nah, don't worry about it, they're just IWATS
tests.
Airyu: Yeah, speaking of which, I'd better go grade
mine... hmm...
Crewman: Sir! Incoming transport! It has IWATS
markings on it... I think it may be new course
material.
Gilad: Hmm... I suppose it's that new Freeworlds
Tactics course. Better check this out myself.
Ice Man: This is from Professor Airyu, it's the new
updates to the Graphics course.
Yoda: This box?
Ice Man: Yes, sir. Just take it up to the briefing
room. All your pilots will want to see this.
Yoda: Oh, very well. *picks it up and walks
off*
Airyu: So you're sure this will
work?
Death Squire: 100% sure, sir!
Airyu: How come this is the only time I've heard from
you for a month and a half?
Death Squire: Meh... okay, he's opening it
up!
Airyu: Justi, be ready to bring the ship out of
hyperspace. All fighters, launch on my mark!
Yoda: I know you've all very anxious to see this, so
without further ado... *presses a button on the
crate*
Briefing room doors: *slam
shut*
Yoda: Uh...
Box: *strains from the contents and
bursts*
The combined mass of several trillion hyper-compressed
envelopes bursts forth from the box. The briefing room is completely
filled by the envelopes, and the entire wing's pilot complement is thoroughly
trapped.
Deck officer: Gilad, sir, you're wanted by
Khadgar.
Gilad: Really?
Deck officer: Yes, sir... he says you've been promoted
to Battlegroup Commander.
Deck officer 2: Sir! There's been an explosion in the
wing briefing room!
Deck officer 3: Sir! There's incoming fighters
and a cap ship dropping out of hyperspace!
Deck officer 4: Sir! The coffee machine is only
brewing decaf!
Gilad: STOP! STOP IT ALL NOW!!!
Deck officer 5: Sir! We've received a great
offer on refinancing for a second mortgage!
Gilad: *shoots the fifth deckie* ONE MORE ALERT
AND YOU ALL DIE! LAUNCH THE FIGHTERS!
Deck officer 2: Um.. we can't. They're all trapped in
the briefing room. It looks like COL Yoda himself has absorbed a few of
the pilots into himself! I... guess that makes him a general
now?
Gilad: I guess he was a little overdue for that, but
he's more of a general nuisance. Oh well. Run up the
white flag.
Deck officer 4: Uh... that was Number 5's
job.
Gilad: *aims his blaster at Deckie 4* Don't
gimme no lip, boy. I'm the BGCOM now.
Airyu: All fighters! Release concussion
tomatoes!
Deck officer 3: Sir! Incoming warheads!
They look like.... tomatoes?!
Gilad: Tomatoes?? Only one ship has hydroponics
facilities in the known galaxy...
Airyu: *pops up on the comm screen* Fooled
you!!!
Gilad: Fine, fine. uh... leave us alone.
Never let anyone know about this, this stays between you and me! And all the
pilots... and... gunners... and... ugh. Just... look, I'll give you some
LC bars if you just shut up about it.
Airyu: You heard the man, LT Needa. Jettison the
video camera.
Video camera: *smashes on the hull of the
GW*
Airyu: Good work, pilots. That was a successful
prank, we really got 'em with their pants down. Needa, do you still have
the tape?
Needa: Yes sir!
Airyu: Good. Here's a cookie and a set of LCM
bars. Drinks are on you!
Justin: Not so fast,
Colonel.
Airyu: *looks around frantically, finally resting on
the set of LC bars in front of him*
Justin: And a Lieutenant Colonel's salary is just
enough to buy a round of drinks for the whole ship.
MORAL: Study
on your computer, there's less paper, and a slightly lower chance of drowning
inside it. Unless yours is liquid-cooled and you... ah, forget
it.
| WING XV/ISD VANGUARD NEWS |
:: The Holy Campaign to Register #wing_xv has succeeded! Come on into IRC to celebrate. Much thanks to Jer Stryker and Ibram Gaunt for their help. Props also to Paco, Khadgar, Gilad, and so on and so forth. Come drop by (on penalty of death?) whenever, someone's always on.
:: As part of Khadgar's
dying wishes, I've been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel! This is the
awesome rank where I get to legally wear a leather jacket as my
uniform. Right? Anyway, free beer and latkes on me in the
cantina.
:: We got MAJ Gustan back,
due to a little bit of activity on his part... right? He's now residing in
Python.
:: LCM Ace Fighter of Echo has been doing some recruiting on our behalf. MWA HAHAH.. er... why aren't the rest of you?
:: LT Needa has been promoted to LCM. Only
several more ranks before he can become Captain Needa, and be second in line for
a good force choking. Combobulations :P
:: AD Khadgar has been
replaced by VA Gilad *tear* as the BGCOM of the ASF. No word on the new
GWCOM, but that should be announced soon. Either that, or it'll crash into
an iceberg and spill IWATS exams everywhere.
| STATISTICS (The class we all fear) |
|
|
CPT Frankie (Python) - 9
LC Alec Qarni (Scorpion) -
7
|
|
None. Why isn't anyone flying
multiplayer?! :p
|
|
LC Daisuke Airyu - FWT
(100)
LC Jer Stryker - FWT (92)
|
|
MAJ Daisuke Airyu -> Lieutenant Colonel
LT Needa -> Lieutenant
Commander
|
|
BS - LC Jer Stryker
IS-GR x4 - LC Daisuke
Airyu
IS-SW - LC Daisuke
Airyu
IS-SR - CPT Frankie
(Python)
IS-BR - LC Alec Qarni
(Scorpion)
|
| ||
| MAJ Gustan | Reserves | Python 2-3 |
| LT Dantor Carlisir | Python 1-3 |
Reserves |
| LT ShotgunRifle | Mantis 1-3 |
MIA |
1 out... meh.
| COMPETITIONS (Who can get their nose further up the professor's butt in the shortest time?) |
Fleet Wide
:: (XO) - Webmail Skin - http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1507
:: (XO) - Banner Design - http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1508
NEW :: (FO) - TIE Corps Holiday
Jingle - http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1654
NEW :: (FO) - TIE Corps
Holiday Bash - http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1655
:: (TAC) -
Fill Mike's Hole - Send your entry for TIE-TC 43 to Mike and his CA
:: (RO) - Recon Office Banner Comp - Contact AD Joe (noon001@aol.com) for more information
:: TIE Tattoo Search Competition - Send the best GFX of the whole Emperors Secret Order tattoo (from TIE Fighter) to kyterrak@aol.com.
ASF Wide
Expect some new ones once Khadgar's successor is in place.
:: (RO) - Recon Office Banner Comp - Contact AD Joe (noon001@aol.com) for more information
:: TIE Tattoo Search Competition - Send the best GFX of the whole Emperors Secret Order tattoo (from TIE Fighter) to kyterrak@aol.com.
ASF Wide
Expect some new ones once Khadgar's successor is in place.
Run of
the Mill awards have been announced, with yours truly sweeping the Caption
competitions, and placing second in a flying
division.
Wing Wide
Wing Wide
NEW :: New Wing Banner -
Currently, we share our logo with the ship. This sucks, and needs to
change. I know we have some wicked graphic artists out there, so go and do
it! IS-SR & BR will be awarded to the top two entries. The
winner's entry will become the official Wing banner effective January
1st!
NEW :: Raid-N-Trade
- For those of you with Freeworlds... we have two divisions, raiding and
trading! Whoever has the most kills and missions for the month of December
wins the Raiding Division, and whoever earns the most money in December wins the
Trading Division. IS-SWs and BWs will be awarded.
NEW :: Strong Bad
Reports #1 - Go to www.homestarrunner.com
and look around a bit. Get a good feel for the Strong Bad voice, and go
record a Strong Bad version of any TIE Corps report you can find. The best
entry gets an IS-SR, second-best gets an IS-BR.
NEW :: Strong Bad
Reports #2 - For those of you without microphones, you can still pull the
strings... Write a "WC Bad Email" (just a stupid question or something,
preferrably with bad spelling), and I will answer it in my best Strong Bad
voice, which is better than your Strong Bad voice. If, of course, it
doesn't suck. All emails I use will be awarded IS-BRs, and get attached to
certain of my Wing reports.
:: Rating Races - FCHG and Combat rating races, except I actually keep track of them
www.ehtiecorps.org/competitions/details.asp?ID=1587
:: Deck the Mantis - Write something about my personal ship, the YT-1138 Iron Mantis II.
www.ehtiecorps.org/competitions/details.asp?ID=1637
:: Furnish
My Office - No Star Destroyer is complete without a good website. Since I'm
loaded down with coursework and don't quite have the time to dedicate to
building a website from scratch, I'm opening up the task to any Wing pilot with
the know-how and time. This isn't really a competition, but it's something you
guys need to do. And be rewarded handsomely.
| NUMBERS (Only here can a 40 equal a B-. Except in Physical Chemistry II.) |
Frag Officers (Like flag officers, but with more kills): 1
Echo (When a duck quacks, it doesn't have one): 6
Scorpion (If you find one of them in your sleeping bag, be afraid): 6
Mantis (If they're praying, it's a crime to kill them. But don't worry, ours are all atheists): 6
Wasp (Like a hornet, except not really): CLOSED
Hornet (Like a wasp, except not at all): 7
Python (They're not funny, because nobody is Monty): 7
TOTAL (a larger number, that is often a combination of several smaller numbers): 33
| THE WEEKLY ACKBAR |
<LC_Airyu> ohhh man
<LC_Airyu> it's that time of the day again!!!
* LC_Airyu goes and gets some more water
<LC_Airyu> it's
<LC_Airyu> CROSSWORD MANIA!!!!!
* Khadgar comes onto the beach from the sea with a long beard...
<Khadgar> It's...
<LC_Airyu> the return of the haggard ex-bgcom...
<Khadgar> The Wing XV Flying Circus.
<LC_Airyu> the legendary... CAPTAIN PAST-HIS-PRIME!!!
<LC_Airyu> :P
<Khadgar> And his faithful sidekick, LC Pretentious. :P
<LC_Airyu> it's that time of the day again!!!
* LC_Airyu goes and gets some more water
<LC_Airyu> it's
<LC_Airyu> CROSSWORD MANIA!!!!!
* Khadgar comes onto the beach from the sea with a long beard...
<Khadgar> It's...
<LC_Airyu> the return of the haggard ex-bgcom...
<Khadgar> The Wing XV Flying Circus.
<LC_Airyu> the legendary... CAPTAIN PAST-HIS-PRIME!!!
<LC_Airyu> :P
<Khadgar> And his faithful sidekick, LC Pretentious. :P
| IT'S OVER |
I'm seeing a
little more signs of life than before. Unfortunately, that's still pretty
low. I mean, I can almost count on my fingers the number of pilots that are
regularly active and in contact. Almost, meaning it's close to ten...
really, I do know how to count. Basically all of Hornet Squadron now
frequents the Wing channel, and the rest of the CMDRs. Guys, I beg you,
please talk to me. I'm not that bad of a guy, and I'm really easy to get a hold
of. My AIM screen name is KuronekoSama42, and I'm usually on IRC.
Just send me an email saying hi, or something.
In the service of
lower academic standards,
LC Daisuke Airyu
WC-PROF/LC Daisuke Airyu/Wing XV/ISD
Vanguard
Professor of IWATS-GFX
GSx2/BSx4/PCx5/ISMx9/MoI-BC/MoT-2rh/IS-5BW-4BR-2SW-7SR-2GW-2GR/LoC-CSx8-Rx1/DFC-Rx2/CoL/CoB/LoA/OV-4E
[GLDR]
{IWATS-AIM-AMP-ASP-CBX-CSS-FLA-FW-FWT-FZ-GFX-HIST-IBX-ICQ-IIC/1/2-JS-LIN-M/1/2-MP-MS-SM/2/3-TACS-TLN-TM/1-TT-VBS-WM-WPN-XML-XTT}
ISD Vanguard Top Dog 2004
CMDR of Echo Squadron,
Vanguard Top Dogs
2004
Wing Commander's Own, September
2004
ASF
Battlegroup Commander's Legate, August 2004
November 2004 ASF Lord
High Captioneer
Former Ship
Doctor, ISD Challenge, FMC