WC/MAJ Lohr Zadash reporting in for WING IX.
Note to WING IX: I sincerely apologize for the tardiness of this report. But unfortunate circumstances have befallen me. I joined the ranks with CPT Tarnisar earlier this week with data loss also known as (AKA) data loss and the general mayhem associated with an operating system from the company microsoft. Windows sucks! Again I apologize.
Wing News
· The monthly Squadron evaluations are in and have been reviewed. The shiny new medals and eagerly awaited rank promotion confirmations should be arriving in the next few days.
· We've seen quite a bit of movement in the wing since the last reporting period. Our numbers have dropped slightly reflecting about a 10% drop in pilots. We know our Wing rules; its time to lets everyone else know too.
· Sword Squadron title holders for May's Wing Commander's Own competition continue to dominate in the message board department clearly showing that "they love to gab and drink and it shows." Oh, and on a relating subject MAJ Ted has undergone and income audit due to some serious and unexplained cashflow that his military salary just can't seem to justify. Rumors of pilots, bribes, wild liquor and women er.... vices have been flowing around and about Sword squadron headquarters like its on sale for 19.99 :P Rough and tough, its the way of the Ninth, The FIGHTING Ninth. It's also the way many of us look after a long night in the stardrifter :P
· CPT Narshay commander of Shield Squadron has created a armband to memorialize the life of LT Kapp Dendo who recently passed away with a terminal illness. LT Dendo gave his life for a greater cause: But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate - we can not consecrate - we can not hallow - this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us; that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. - Abraham Lincoln, Speech at the Dedication of the National Cemetery at Gettysburg, November 19, 1863
Top 5 Squadrons (in
flying Activity)
1. Hammer with 23 BSF's
2. Dagger with 14 BSF's
3. Shield with 8 BSF's
4. Sword with 2 BSF's
5. Spear with 0 BSF's
Top 5 pilots (in
flying Activity)
1. COL Phoenix with of Dagger Squadron with 14
BSF's
2. LT Hermann with formerly of Hammer Squadron with 13 BSF's
3. CPT Da'emon Narshay commander of Shield Squadron with 8 BSF's
4. LT Steve Sunrider of Hammer Squadron with 7 BSF's
5. LCM Fox of Hammer Squadron with 2 BSF's
Promotions & Wing Movement
FL/CM Stallion from
Sword 3-1 to Reserves W.E.F 05.29.2001
TRN/CT Wow from PLT
Daedalus to Shield 3-2 W.E.F 05.31.2001
LT Lucutus from
somwhere to Sword 1-2 W.E.F 06.02.2001
FM/CM Jaruus from
Sword 3-2 to Sword 3-1 W.E.F 06.03.2001
FL/CPT Darkstar
from Hammer 2-1 to Hammer 2-3 W.E.F 06.03.2001
FM/LT Steve
Sunrider Hammer 2-3 to Hammer 2-1 W.E.F 06.03.2001
FM/LT Hermann from
Hammer 3-2 to Kappa 3-3 W.E.F 06.04.2001
FM/LT J'Lek from
Hammer 1-2 to Inactive status W.E.F 06.03.2001
FM COL Boromir from
Hammer 2-2 to Inactive status W.E.F 06.03.2001
FM/LT Bryan Shield
Squadron to Inactive status W.E.F 06.06.2001
TRN/CT Capshaw from
PLT Daedalus to Shield 2-2 W.E.F 06.06.2001
FM/LCM Aragorn from
Dagger 1-2 to Reserves W.E.F 06.06.2001
FL/CM Maticore from
Dagger 2-1 to Reserves W.E.F 06.06.2001
FM/SL Seantos from
Dagger 2-2 to Inactive W.E.F 06.06.2001
Awards
CMDR/CPT Da'emon
Narshay - Imperial Security Medal - for writing the Shield Squadron History for
the RO.
FM/COL Doyon - Iron Star - Bronze Wings - for placing 2nd overall in the Wing
Commander's OWN May 2001 competition.
FL/CM Jaruus - Iron
Star - Silver Wings - for placing 1st overall in the Wing Commander's OWN May
2001 competition.
Wing IX Morale
Office
-----------------------------
*Steve the Cricket
strolls by, pauses and realizes he's supposed to say something for this
week's Morale report*
Lohr: heya Steve
how's the week been treating you man?
Steve: [obviously
sucking up to Lohr] Oh not bad not bad. Been busy beating er... establishing
morale into the members of WING IX.
Lohr: Good to hear
Steve that someone is concerned with the spirit of the pilots aboard the
Relentless.
Steve: I had
nothing to do with that Tennis racket from Medical assistants Jordan's storage
cabinet losing her strings, we only went out ONCE!
Lohr: [blinks] er,
not now Steve, not now.
*Lohr turns and
begins to speak*
Steve: [under his
breath] asrewipe
Lohr: by all means
then Steve, use toilette paper next time...
*a loud thump is heard
followed by several more, it seems to becoming from behind some blast doors
very close to the two*
Steve: what the
hell?
Lohr: Oh, that must
be Ivan.
Steve: Ivan? How
original! This must be an introduction of one of your classic sterotyical
characters in an attempt to phase me out of the picture! I won't stand for it,
you'll never be rid of me!
Lohr: [chuckling,
breaking into that famous grin] That's what you think.
*With a loud crash
the blast doors fly open and through it steps an enormous man, most likely 8ft
tall sporting Blonde Hair and Blue eyes. A polished vintage Thompson Submachine
Gun appears from beneath the man's trenchcoat*
Lohr: Let me
intoduce you Steve, this is IVAN my personal assistant, he'll be handing all Enforcement matters around here, you're
dismissed. Thank you again for you dutiful service to this Wing.
Steve: Now just
hold on a bloody minute! I won't stand for this! I have RIGHTS! I have
senority!
*Lohr mutters
something about military dicatorship*
Lohr: IVAN remove
the good Colonel, he seems to be wanting to take the early retirement package.
IVAN: DA!
*In one fluid
motion the gun comes up the action is slid back with a sharp clicking noise signaling
that the 50 round drum magazine carrying Colt .45 ACP rounds are loaded*
Steve: [holding up
his hands in a mock sense of defense] You'll never be rid of me! NEVER!
Lohr: [nods] I
know. [nods again at IVAN]
*Ivan takes aim*
Steve: WAIT!
Lohr: [looking exasperated]
WHAT?
Steve: I'll leave
peacefully. I will. I don't want to die, [begins sobbing] All I wanted to be
was liked, I wanted to be somebody, and now.... now... I'm a nothing again.
*Steve slowly
trudges off looking completely crushed*
Lohr: Well now
that, that is out of the way... WING IX I wish to introduce to you your new Morale
Officer Major IVAN TAKILLDEM. He brings with him several years of crashing
parties, bringing the house down and things of that nature, oh yeah, and if you
can out drink this guy, I'll give you free drinks for a month. [looks at Ivan]
It's time to put the gun away IVAN.
IVAN: But Boss I
vant to kill dat cricket bat. I be likingk to kill him.
Lohr: I told you
before IVAN, I would only need you to clean him if he refused to leave. He left
so its over. Well IVAN its now time to give your first Morale Office report,
get to it
*IVAN smiles and
suddenly brightens up and begins speaking*
Hello member of
WING IX, I am IVAN your new Morale Officer, theze week hase seen many movement
all over the wing and I must say that despite our roughly 10% loss in personel
due to the recent, bedtime checks things are looking good. Now remember be
inactive so I can keep this new coooooshy job. Vemember, I love nothingk better
than a good bedtime check. Not knowingk vat dat iz? Slack off and you'll be
seeingk me real real soon.
*IVAN flashes
picture perfect toothy white smile*
IVAN: Thats my
report. Till next week.
Wing Roster Count
Flag Officers - 1
Sword - 7
Dagger - 5
Crossbow - 0
Spear - 5
Hammer - 5
Shield - 6
Total: 29
Submitted by,
WC/MAJ Lohr Zadash/Wing IX/ISD Relentless