WING V REPORT 37

WC/LC Proton reporting on 6-30-01 for Wing V aboard the SSSD Sovereign:

WELCOME

***
Proton's eyes burn and glow red as he staggers from his desk, following 37 straight weeks of heavy Imperial paperwork. He staggers toward the Sov Med Bay and flops into a bacta tank, unconscious -- and oblivious to the concerned stares of his trailing assistants and the stunned medical personnel.
***

- I'm going to take two to three weeks of R&R on Aurora. COL Sickman will be the acting WC during my absence. He will be filing the weekly reports and handling routine matters such as BSFs for CMDRs. I will continue to monitor e-mail traffic and will be on IRC frequently. And I will be available to handle any major matters such as roster moves, etc. I want to thank COL Sickman and the rest of the Wing V command group for keeping the wing flying high and far during my leave!

- Special recruiting bulletin! We have dropped to 46 pilots and as of this moment, I am being forced to share comfy-chair honors with Wing I WC/GN Wolly, whose wing has climbed to 46. This is unacceptable! Me being forced to go elbow to elbow with Wolly is bad for Wing V's image! >;) So, I am asking everyone in the wing to intensify their recruiting efforts.

- Closing squadrons. I don't want anyone to take this personally, but I want all Wing V personnel to know that I am disappointed that two CMDRs have recently suggested to me that we close their squadrons. My answer: Heck, no! Since I became WC, there has been plenty of squadron closure talk, but what actually has happened is that distressed squadrons have received effective, aggressive commanders and the squadrons have filled up. This pattern will be repeated. All CMDRs, FLs, FMs and the WC can and will work together to grow our operations. Quit suggesting squadron closures!

- Not to dwell on the negative ... there has been *plenty* of *major* flight activity by numerous Wing V pilots in recent days, and a ton of conversation on the wing mailing list. Great job, Wing V!

- CMDRs, make sure this report reaches all wing members.

WING NEWS - PERSONNEL MOVES

- FM/LT Slayer/Nun 3-3 - Transfers to Nun from Reserves
- FM/LT Derrik Fey/Mem 1-3 - Transfers to Reserves
- CM/CMDR Brad Tack/Nun - Promoted to CPT (Naval Corps clone merge approved by SA Kawolski)
- FM/SL Bail Antilles/Nun 3-2 - Promoted to LT
- FL/LCM Thomas Nitecki/Sadhe - Transfers to Talon Squadron
- FL/LCM Dakar Romson/sadhe - Transfers to Talon Squadron

WING NEWS - AWARDS

- The Imperial Security Medal has been awarded to:
FM/LT Max/Aylin 3-2

- The Commendation of Bravery has been awarded to:
FM/LT Max/Aylin 3-2

IWATS GRADUATIONS

- None this week

WING NEWS AND STATUS

- New Wing V site URL:
http://wingv.ehonline.org/wingvsite/index.html

- RED ALERT! Wing V vs. Wing I. Fly TC-TIE Battle 163 by June 30 -- TODAY!!.

- RED ALERT II! Wing V vs. Wing IV in the July wing competition! Fly TC-TIE Battle 174, Jaeger (attached)! Deadline is July 31. IS-SW to top scorer in each wing; IS-BW to runnersup.

- RED ALERT III! It's the CMDRs of Wings V and I facing each other July 1-21 in the inaugural CMDRs' Cup Challenge! We're flying a TIE battle for interwing command bragging rights! Top scorer in each command group will receive the Iron Star-Bronze Wings.

- Wing V Citation Race, it might be awhile before we get this sorted out because LCM Dark Viper, the coordinator, is MIA at the moment.

- Nun competing in Psi Squadron Invitational. First-round battle, TC Battle 121. Go, Nun!

- Lt Murkrow Defender created a Medal of Truculent Opposition in response to my report last week. Super work, LT! Image attached.

MISCELLANEOUS

- SA Kawolski reports that Newsletter 75 has been released:
You can download NL #75 (4.23 mb) at:
http://thunder.prohosting.com/~surefire/nl75.zip (N. America - Slow)
http://lo.minos.net/nl/nl75.zip (N. America - Slow)
http://www.gimmie.tudelft.nl/homes/blok10b/ender/nl75.zip (Europe - Fast)
http://www.chapmassiv.org/nl75.zip (Europe - Fast)
You can view it online at:
http://www.gimmie.tudelft.nl/homes/blok10b/ender/nl75/ (Europe - Fast)

- FA Priyum Patel reports the latest developments in Imperial Storm II:
Following Vice Admiral Adrenaline's recent bold move, Fleet Admiral Kramer has followed suit. The following ships from TF Silver Saber have arrived in orbit around the world of Valkier in a bid to capture it, and its precious resources:
ISD-II Regulator
INT Detainer
ESC Sokar's Pride
In addition, TF Doom now controls and holds the planet of Firixon.

- Imperial Storm participation information:
This wargame is open to everyone in the TIE Corps and if you wish to
take part, then you need the following:
The game X-Wing: Alliance (XWA).
The XWA Update(2.02) available at:
http://www.btinternet.com/~spellfire/impstorm.html
The edited shiplist file available at:
http://www.btinternet.com/~spellfire/impstorm.html
For more information, please visit the Imperial Storm Website:
http://www.btinternet.com/~spellfire/impstorm.html

- LC Brakka has stepped down as the Wing Commander for Wing XIV and is succeeded by MAJ Dengar March.

ORATORS OF AIRLOCK 21

- Orator of the week: LT Corsair!
"Okay MD, I'm bounding your arms and legs, and then locking you into a room alone with Jar Jar Binks for a week. Enjoy!"

- More oratory from the past week:
"poor Jar Jar :p" -LCM Kettch

"**Striker follows after Sicky with his action figures so that he can also recreate the Battle of Endor! Wanna see the Ewoks get crunched by the AT-ST's? :P**" -MAJ Wil Striker

"AW, it's not really his fault now. Just because MD's ancestors may have originally spoke French when they came to Quebec doesn't mean he can't talk or spell better than a Gungan. :P" -MAJ Wil Striker

"Well, yeah, Murkrow, I'd hope a TIE Defender could take on a Missile Boat...
If not, you suck as a pilot.
While the Missile Boat packs a LOT of warheads, it's not too fast or maneuverable. Plus, with that weak little potato gun called a laser cannon, it's useless against anything but a Calamari Cruiser.
The T/D, on the other hand, is the finest piece of Imperial military ingenuity. Fast, manuerverable, heavy shields, AND fire power in one tidy, kick ass package.
So, if any Missile Boat pilot would like to challenge one of my T/D pilots, come talk to me. I'll discuss details with you." -LCM Jason Hunter

"you think thats creul and unusual punishment aka torture:) hah you think I haven't been thrown into a pit of scorpions:) and trust me it wouldn't be my first wookie burn (being his room mate sucks cause he is afraid of teh dark and often jumps into my bed like a child)(BTW Chris if you plan on using your wookie to atack me in the future I am now emune:) If you want to torture me force me to watch Barny or something, I was crying cause I thought you were giong top torture me! infact Striker I am very disapointed in you. I blow up your barstool and this is all I get! I expect more from a CMDR and please stop with the hole getting your sith buddys to help you, It
is getting borring and unimaginative!" -LT Murkrow Defender

"The thing is, I AM a CMDR. So.... the Proton thing was just a joke cause I couldnt find a viable target. now I've got one.
*Tack takes out the pink paint, paints all of Murkrow's medals and uniforms pink, then gets a bunch of un-boiled easter eggs and eggs Murkrow's room. Tack then takes the Toilet paper and tp's Murkrow's T/D and home away from the SSSD Sov. Tack, when finished, walks into the CMDRs lounge and has a cigar with Wil Striker.*" -CPT Brad Tack

"*MD looks at his watch. he takes a seat at the Airlock 21 bar and gets ready
for his plan to go into action. He has to time it just right. he hits a
button on his watch and the sqramble siren goes off, then a small eplosion
ingulfs the CMDRs table in flames and some of the CMDRs stools with it. he
runs to grab Sickman but-grooven chiar to savety just in-time to see the
fire springklers break apart from the presure that was bilding behind the
layer of ducktape raped around them bombarding the CMDRs table with
hipresure water.then he rushes toward the CMDRs lounge that is empty cause
of the Scramble alarm and paints all but three of teh chairs pink(just to
keep the consistancy of Brad) and puts raped ewok turds were the cigars are
keeped and swipes the cigars to put them in the Three CMDRs, that were
mentioned in a previos e-mail, quarters. then gets out the rest of the
equipment:)*
*The CMDRs return to find the words "Payback" written on the wall with banth
poodoo and a 10.5 foot poll (I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot poll but
10.5 is fine:) covered in the stuff leing on theground.*
*Striker Say "I'll have my storm troopers bring MD here right away. anyone
for a cigar?" and bites into the raped ewok turd.*" -LT Murkrow Defender

"Oh, my bad, I got the ones in the secret hiding place, I missed the levis. thanx for reminding me, Now I think I'll attend to those. Also, the RO callede, he says your house was the site of a recon base and was summarily destroyed... good thing I told him about the good points of using your house, Murkrow. Also, it seems all your blasters were filled with duds, so thast thief that I paid to steal all of your money won't be shot. And finally, I am going to use my Jedi Hunter powers to change the schedule: What once was Tack's boring Garrison or patrol duty is now yours, and all of your fun assault duties are now mine." -CPT Brad Tack

"Lt Corsair, with some support from the Sith, kidnaps the sleeping MD and
takes him to a solitary confinment cell. After the Sith tie, bound and gag
MD using powerful force spells, Lt. Corsair proceeds to administer the 2nd
torcher. While this is happening, MD thinks that the 2nd torcher won't be
so bad because the first wasn't either... well he failed to realize that
that was actually Jar Jar's 4th torcher from Corsair.
The 2nd torcher,
Unable to move, yet having a hightened sense to pain, emotionally and
physically, MD is tied into a similar stance as Rico was in the movie
Starship Troopers, only he is completely naked. Thus, the Sith step back
and watch as Corsair leads into the room 10 Ewoks, giving each of them a
poking stick. Finally, Corsair decrees that MD will be locked in the room
with these 10 Ewoks until this Saturday." -LT Corsair

"At 1900 hrs. in the Wing V hangar the ewoks from MD's torture will battle to
the death from the urgings of their primal insticts, because of one female
ewok is in heat. I have arranged an AT-ST from an Infantry Division to be
there in case they do not fight... if this is so I will order the AT-ST to
begin stepping on the little furry bastards." -LT Corsair

"*MD sneaks a microtranslater on all his FLs clothes making it seem like evry
one is speaking french and all anyone heres coming out of the FLs mouth is
french profanitys:)" -LT Murkrow Defender

"**Murkow Defender strolls towards the Airlock for a victory drink to
celebrate his latest prank and is immediately grabbed by several
Stormtroopers and dragged to LC Proton's office. Once inside he sees all of
the Wing V CMDR's, every Sov WC, and even FA Kramer himself. As Proton
finishes reading the datapad in front of him, he barely lifts his head to
show Defender the flames in his eyes.
"LT Defender, you have commited high treason against the Sov and your fellow
Imperial Officers. Your pranks have gone to far this time, and you shall be
punished accordingly. FA Kramer has ordered that you shall first assist the
repair droids in repairing the holes in the hull of the Sovereign. You shall
then repair and/or replace everything that MAJ Striker has noted here that
was sucked into space from your act of stupidity. After that you shall be
locked into a room with Juidila the Hutt where you shall be her slave for
the next 30 days. Failure to follow any of these punishments in full will
result in your being blown out of an airlock into space and your body used
for target practice with the new nanite missiles we have been experimenting
with. You will slowly be taken apart piece by piece by these microscopic
missiles while floating alive in space through a specially designed air mask
from the FMC. You will know the true pain of torture as your body is ravaged
by microscopic explosions that leave you vulnerable to the effects of space,
and you will live through every agonizing moment of it. Do you understand
me?"
Defender slowly swallowed and nodded his agreement. He was then grabbed by
two of the Stormtroopers and dragged away to begin his punishment. All the
while wondering just how he had managed to get himself into such a
situation, and just how in the hell anyone figured out he had caused all of
it.**
Hmm.... now I wonder who the stupid one was that thought attacking the Sov
was a good idea for a prank? :P" -MAJ Wil_Striker

"Exelent! Pay back for the torture and I get to see ewoks murdered! its like
youve kidnapped my and throne me to heven:)" -LT Murkrow Defender

"I didn't atack the Sov! Chris' ship did! I planed on helping in the repairs
and the holes weren't open long enough for Striker to lose anything! Please
anything to avoid being that huts sex slave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and shouldn't WC
Proton be sending this message? you can't putwords into a supiriors mouth.
(Please don't make me do that Juidila:<)" -LT Murkrow Defender

"Due too the negative reaction too my prank I would like to apologize for it
and say that it was just a dream I had that I posted on the list I would
never dream of puting a hole in the Sov and I don't even know when they put
the sheilds down. once again this prank never happened and the Sovs hull is
to hard to breach for it to have worked anyway (trust me I have flown
against one in XWA to see how strong it is) CMDR Striker is not near death
and is as healthy as ever to be part of the prank that I pulled in the CMDRs
lounge that only spared Taz, Sickman and of course WC Proton. The prank
never happened and I am not that slimy huts sex slave (at least not yet)" -LT Murkrow Defender

"You gotta laugh
Wil Striker is getting more evil everyday, you might want to make the Hutt &
MD a pay-per-view event as well, make some money:)
The Imperial Playboy channel has been getting boring lately hehe
That reminds me, that Hutt still owes me money, any volunteers to invade
Hutt Space?
(SickMan wanders off to find his trusty sniper rifle and Wing V packed lunch
box for the trip)" -COL SickMan

"Were do I sign up:) kill the huts! Kll the huts! can I swip one of those
little creachers that sits on them an laughs at evry thing? I'll hug him and
I'll squese him and I'll call him Geoge:)" -LT Murkrow Defender

"**Striker grabs a red marker and grades MD's last transmission. "Let's see,
except for the lack of punctuation, misspelling of several words, (which,
not witch; grammar, not gramar), and your own run-on sentences, not bad."
Striker gives a grade of 45% for overall mistakes and stupidity in trying to
counter anyone about their grammar when making mistakes of their own. :P**" -MAJ Wil Striker

"**Proton orders Leroy to deliver some cushy wookie beard-hair pillows to the Reserves FRG so XS will be able to sleep soundly in his cramped bunk** ;)" -LC Proton

"::XS puts the pillows on the M/PLT "Munky Shack", home of Enforcer Squadron, after deodorizing the rather disgusting smelling pillows:: Thanks... I think, Pro. :P" -CM Xavier Seinar

WING V COMMUNICATIONS

IRC: #Airlock21 on the Undernet; weekly meeting, 1300 EST Saturdays
Web site: http://wingv.ehonline.org/wingvsite/index.html
Message board: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=42
Group email: WingV@topica.com
Group home page: http://www.topica.com/lists/wingv

WING V ROSTER

(attached)

::SALUTE::

WC/LC Proton/Wing V/SSSD Sovereign
SS/BS/PC/ISMx2/OV [HUSS] {IWATS-SM/2}
The Hammer's Hellfighters
TIE Corps COM's Citation/March 2001
SBM (Sith)/QUA/Tridens of Tarentum