WING V REPORT 35

WC/LC Proton reporting on 6-16-01 for Wing V aboard the SSSD Sovereign:

WELCOME

***
LC Proton rests his boots on his desk and takes a long pull from a longneck bottle of Corellian ale, celebrating another fine week in Wing V: a well-deserved COL promotion for the Sadhe CMDR, a huge wave of BSFs by wing pilots, and an unprecedented run of activity in the Wing V mailing list.
"Aaaahhh..." Proton sighs, draining the container and accepting the new bottle handed to him by the ever-present, hovering Snippy.
***

- CMDRs, make sure this report reaches all wing members.

- Use your ID lines (or at the very least your rank and name) in all communications, so everyone can avoid a guessing game as to who posted to the wing mailing list, etc.

WING NEWS - PERSONNEL MOVES

- CMDR/LC Sickman/Sadhe - Promoted to COL
- FM/LT Klech Remart/Nun 1-3 - Promoted to LCM
- FM/SL Mitchell/Mem 3-4 - Promoted to LT
- FM/LT Josef Es'mith/Aylin 1-4 - Transfers to Reserves
- FM/LT Joshua Es'mith/Aylin 2-3 - Transfers to Reserves

WING NEWS - AWARDS

- The Iron Star - Bronze Wings has been awarded to:
CMDR/COL Gen Es'mith/Aylin for winning Wing V TIE division in Sov Top Gun comp.

- The Palpatine Crescent has been awarded to:
CMDR/CM Brad Tack/Nun for 25 TAC office merit points

- The Legion of Combat has been awarded to:
FM/CM Ric Gravin/Nun

IWATS GRADUATIONS

- CMDR/CM Keiran/Pe - VB Script

WING NEWS AND STATUS

- RED ALERT! Wing V vs. Wing I. Fly TC-TIE Battle 163 by June 30.

- RED ALERT II! Wing V Citation Race! Members of the squadron that racks up the most new squadron citations in June will receive medals (uh, that is, if the Training Office will ever approve any of the various medals combinations I have proposed for this...). Note: Rule clarification: The squadron with the most earned citations during the month is the winner. What we mean by "earned citations" is squadrons that have actually flown battles and won the most citations during this month will win. This is harder to keep track of.. but evens the playing field and make things fair.

- RED ALERT III! We're facing the Infiltrator Wing's Shadow Squadron in a six-week event. Shadow leads 5-0 :(

- Other upcoming major competitions planned:
YELLOW ALERT! July, vs. Wing IV.

MISCELLANEOUS

- New battles available: TC-TIE 172-175.

- TIE Corps XWA war game Imperial Storm II will start June 25. See comp home page for details:
http://www.btinternet.com/~spellfire/impstorm.html
FA Kramer is considering tactical officer applicants for the comp (he gets four); fleet pilots don't need to be on a list, they just need to *show up* for battle!

- VA Wet Willy reports: Begining Monday, there will be a new weekly MP comp! The new Tempest Storm competition is hosted by CM Sephiroth (sephiroth@isdchallenge.org) and takes place on Mondays from 7 to 10 pm EST in #Tempest on IRC.

ORATORS OF AIRLOCK 21

- Orator of the week: MAJ Wil Striker!
"**Gives XS a shove out the nearest airlock. "You don't need a shuttle to get there! Just hold your breath and you'll make it fine." Closes the airlock tight as Sienar floats off into deep space. "Oops, guess I should have told that FRG to hold its course a little longer", Striker comments as it jumps into hyperspace, leaving the floating form of Sienar hanging in space. :P**

Orators, Bantha Poodoo division:
"Oh, you expect Sickman to help you? After pulling a prank on Striker?
Obviously, you don't know that much about our superiors here, Murkrow. While they may seem nice and cuddly and helpful on the outside...well, some of the time, anyways...they'd rather throw you in Bantha poodoo, then help you after messing with one of their fellow officers and friends." -LCM Jason Hunter

- Guest oratory of the week:
"(The Silver Star of the Empire has been awarded to:
COL Inkwolf for teaching the scorptroopers to rollerblade)
They're much swifter now . . . watch out for roll-by stingings. >:)" -FA Kramer

- More oratory from the past week:
"well if an ewok can operate a speeder on first touch, then i'm sure it can outwork an overly paid imperial officer. Hmmm......
Uses For Ewoks
1: Toilet paper
2: Towels
3: Won't tear you arms off when you win at Sabaac(that is it isn't it?)
4: Are fluffy
5: Good doormats
6: Can drive speeders
7: Can fix a hyperdrive with half the parts missing and a stick of bubble gum
8: Good as a projectile weapon against Rebel Fighters" -LT Foobat

"LC SickMan strolls the corridors of Wing V, all is quiet apart from the usual distinctive engine sound of the SOV.
He strolls upto Airlock#21 where Dude stands guard, Dude growls out at SickMan, "it`s OK Dude, i`m not going to try and get into Airlock#21, i`m just having a stroll by"
Dude hold his gaffi stick over his head and shout`s out a long sentence,
"Well Dude, if you pop by the Medlab sometime, i`ve got some creams that will probably clear that up for you".
Dude chuckles with agreement
SickMan glances over at the barricaded door of Airlock#21 and fond memories were visualised, like the weekly CMDR card games, the new recruit initiation ceremonies, also the salty nuts game, and who could forget the granddaddy of all games, the game of masterminds, yes you guessed it `the see how much custard you can stick down your underpants competition`
And with those fond memories, SickMan thought, "the only way that barricade will come down is when we get back to being the best, you know what? i think i`ll take my missile boat out for a spin:)"
And with that thought, LC SickMan strolled on down to the Hangar bay." -COL Sickman

"Simon says: Tack, quit being a pansy and ask the girl. She’s not bad looking.. your not bad looking.... just get the wrench back from her! It’s not like your asking her to marry you or anything! :-P" -CM Brad Tack

"DAM IT! another Infiltrator wing Battle!!! Sickman you know how much I hate reble ships! Why me?! I need a drink* walks to airlock 21 mumbling and kicking an ewok*" -LT Murkrow Defender

"I know that the point you made is a good one sickman but flying a B/W against gun boats, T/Ds and T/Is isn't my idea of training for battle If I don't come back after this battle it is your falt!" -LT Murkrow Defender

"I am going to going to push my pilots to fly this battle.. even if it means sicking those shaven wookies or those horny ewoks after them :P" -CPT RedTaz

"WHAT?! We have EWOKS in the EH!? And They aren't dead?! Don't you remember my rant!!!!! KILL THEM! KILL THE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(or at least use them for forced laber:)" -LT Murkrow Defender

"*Murkrow Defender jumps into his T/D and blasts ewok carcases to ablivian!:> MUhahahahaha:>! Thats what you get for doing my leg!:> I hope that not-so-shaven wookie doesn't kill me for this:<" LT Murkrow Defender

"**Various members of Wing V watch as Defender's T/D suddenly starts to fall apart around him as he banks into a tight turn. MAJ Striker reminds himself to give the Ewoks extra rations tonight for their excellent work as the new mechanics. :P**" -MAJ Wil Striker

"Hey, hey, hey, hey.... No friggin' Ewoks or even superior officers should be touching my pilots' ships!!
And, MAJ Striker, for this random act of 'terrorism', I will have to resort to...something...
You should feel honored to be the FIRST VICTIM OF MY SHAVEN
WOOKIE!!!!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
::laughs as his Shaven Wookie tackles Striker and gives him severe beard burn::" -LCM Jason Hunter

"**Uses his Dark Side powers to turn the confused Wookie back on his master. "Feel the wrath of my vengeance young one!" Striker hisses as the Wookie rubs its stubbly body all over the quivering figure of LCM Hunter. Screams of pure torture can be heard throughout the corridors of Wing V.** Let that be a lesson to all who defy the Sith! :P" -MAJ Wil Striker

"*sticks his head out of his TA after weeks with heavy RL* "hmmmmmm.."
*sees piles of dead ewoks, shaven wookies and drunk people* "some things just never change" -LT Foobat

"::starts applying calimine lotion:: That was truly of the Sith, Striker.. I forgot about your skill in the Force. Instead, I became the first victim of my OWN Shaven Wookie...pfui. Now, swearing in German.. @$%%@^%&!@$% @#$%@#%@# ^@#$^ @#$#%@#%^@#%@#$%@ ^&@&(#%^!!! Of course, that was censored. Can't let them youngins hear such foul language." -LCM Jason Hunter

"(To GN Wolly) Well, as the FMC sponsor for this event, and seeing your request for amending the Wing I results, it seems that's not entirely accurate GN. But in light of the fact that you've stumbled over your tongue with the Wing V comp as well, I'll just attribute that to other medical matters. :P hehe" -MAJ Wil Striker

"ROTF, good crackback, Wil! ... Yes, you must have heard those rumors about Wolly's various "conditions," heh heh ... ;)" -LC Proton

"Fifthly, the comfy chair AGAIN goes to Proton, who is going soft. Wolly and Inky both sit upon the Dais with Crusher, while Major Jesseb gets thrown into The Pit for having the lowest number of pilots in a Sovereign Wing. Sequoh, floating on an air mattress in The Tank, has increased his lead over Wing VI to two pilots . . . watch out for Napoleon, Seq - I forgot to feed him last week . . . ::shudder::" -FA Kramer

"I should probably stop getting people mad at me. If I do maybe I'll stop waking up in the Sovs trash compactors." -LT Murkrow Defender

"**A dark and mysterious figure is spotted slipping an Algarian stink bug into Defender's quarters. Known for their extremely repugnant odor despite their very tiny size. The few witnesses to the event run away in fear as the dark figure exits the quarters.** Gotta love those Sith! :P" -MAJ Wil Striker

"Hehehe. Murkrow Defender laughs as he watches Striker walk into his quarters that MD has filled with serenity ponds and a leaky foset.(MD has previosly coverd the lining of Strikers pants with liquid tight plastic and put glue on the lining so Stiker can't get them of then bought him several drinks at the Airlock) Then locks and baricades the door behind him. hehehe. Now thats torture!" -LT Murkrow Defender

"Hey, I'm pretty freakin' screwed up!! If you were to know in RL, you'd agree!" -LCM Jason Hunter

"though out the corridor you here this load YUB YUB then kit finds out what happens when you cross the red hyperdrive cable with the blue and black, and a great ball of fire incase the hyperdrive unit, and kit is flown acorrs the hanger deck, right in the the path of, his master "know kit what did i tell you about play with outher poeple Tie's, you meant to cutt the flying wires , not flamgrill yourself on the hyperdrive, oh well at least it not my tie, i wonder whos it is.............." -LCM Kettch

"I was looking over the wing roster and i noticed something..., there are no LC's at all in our kickass wing. That can be taken in a good way, that we have plenty of higher ranking pilots, but I think that we (or at least the LT's that can fly) should be working very hard to push above and beyond our lowly scrubbing of Proton's boots, and fly more actively and continue scrubbing Proton's, RedTaz's, Tack's, Striker's, Gen's, Keiran's, and of course last but not least Sickman's boots to achieve promotions." -LT Face Loran

"**Using a special scanner that only the Dark Brotherhood know how to use, JH Striker searches his quarters and locates every last device. Nodding to Dude and Leroy, the two Wing V assistants place all of the devices into Defender's fighter. Along with these 'minor' distractions, two well trained Ewok's also make some minor changes to the circuitry of the fighter.
A short time later the unsuspecting Defender jumps into his fighter and
launches. As he reaches full throttle, the systems in his fighter collapse in a full cascade failure. Trying to figure out exactly what the problem is, Defender hits the controls for his secondary systems only to be bombarded by the sounds of a pair of Hutts in heat. The communications officers on the bridge of the Sov can only hear the cries of torment from the now mentally unstable pilot as he drifts off into space screaming in agony. :P**
HEHE, for every good idea there is an even better one!" -MAJ Wil_Striker

"*Murkrow Watches his temp FL walking slowly down teh coridors yelling at evry one.* "You ok?"
"AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I CAN'T GET THE SOUND OF MATING HUTTS OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!!!!!!!!!!" -LT Murkrow Defender

"*LCM Kettch walks into the hangar with his FL to find there ships covered in Hut slober, and if that wern't enough the comsystems in the ships were riged with the same track of Hutt matting calls that Striker had used on MD, There was a wookie turd on the seats and the flight controls modified in a way that will be explained latter.:)*" -LT Murkrow Defender

"School's out whoohoo!*hums school's out song* Dam IWATS is open all year Well that sucked the fun out of evrything!" -LT Murkrow Defender

WING V COMMUNICATIONS

IRC: #Airlock21 on the Undernet; weekly meeting, 1300 EST Saturdays
Web site: http://torps.20m.com/wingvsite
Message board:
http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=42
Group email: WingV@topica.com
Group home page: http://www.topica.com/lists/wingv

WING V ROSTER

WING COMMANDER: LC Proton (Hullbreach@aol.com) - #2712
NICKNAME: The Hammer's Hellfighters
MOTTO: Will all Neptune's multitudinous seas wash the Rebels' blood from our hands?
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/wing5.gif
HOMEPAGE: http://torps.20m.com/WingVSite/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=42&v=0&s=0

MEM SQUADRON : Heavy Assault
COMMANDER: CPT RedTaz (red.taz@home.com) - #4461
NICKNAME: The Emperor's Vengeance
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/mem.gif
MOTTO: Nostros Vindictatis! - Vengeance is ours!
HOMEPAGE: http://mem.squadron.org/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=47

FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: The Veterans
Motto: Don't let the combat cramp your style.
1) CPT RedTaz (red.taz@home.com) - #4461
2) LCM Willis (gohan927@hotmail.com) - #6496
3) LT Derrik Fey (andytrombone@hotmail.com) - #6715
4) TBA

FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Palpatine's Ducks
Motto: Quacking Death
1) CPT Benjamin Jahou Morgan (w.j.aigner@netway.at) - #1707
2) LT AlexanderDS (dsnavigator@hotmail.com) - #6228
3) LT Sallisian (sniper055@bigpond.com) - #6231
4) LT Ryan Chi'Cath (renegade@pa.net) - #6628

FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: The Hot Shots
Motto: No one hits better than we do!
1) LCM Dark Viper (Dark.Viper@web.de) - #6211
2) LT Vereska (r2d2@samara21.ru) - #6305
3) LT Nick Chi'Cath (tmotter@epix.net) - #6768
4) LT Mitchell (mitchell10289@yahoo.com) - #7012

NUN SQUADRON : Heavy Assault
COMMANDER: CM Brad Tack (BradTack@isdcolossus.com) - #5131
NICKNAME: Sovereign's Wrath
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/nun.jpg
MOTTO: We lead, death follows!
HOMEPAGE: http://go.to/nunsquadron

FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Wyvern
Motto: We don't care who you are: You cannot escape from death !
1) CM Brad Tack (BradTack@isdcolossus.com) - #5131
2) CM Ric Gravin (gravintc@yahoo.com) - #2501
3) LCM Klech Remart (Klech_@excite.com) - #4137
4) TBA

FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Chimera
Motto: Ave Emperor: Morituri te salutant !
Homepage: http://www.move.to/flight2-chimera
1) CM Xavier Sienar (sienar@gmx.net) - #1609
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA

FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Gryphon
Motto: The guard dies but never surrenders!
Homepage: http://members.100free.com/users/gryphon/
1) CM Arti (dark_a@priv7.onet.pl) - #2641
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) LT Donald Reising (donaldreising@hotmail.com) - #6012

SAMEKH SQUADRON : Assault
COMMANDER: MAJ Wil_Striker (WilStriker@excite.com) - #4370
NICKNAME: The Black Widows
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/Samekh.gif
MOTTO: Faithful and Brave, Even After Death
HOMEPAGE: http://www.crosswinds.net/~samekh/samekh.htm
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=51

FLIGHT I - ASSAULT GUNBOAT
Nickname: The Shadow Hunters
Motto: Out of the Darkness We Strike!
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/~flight1/flight1.htm
1) MAJ Wil_Striker (WilStriker@excite.com) - #4370
2) LCM Owen Wolfstar (bladerunner_100@hotmail.com) - #6200
3) LT Tark Tanar (blistering_rc@hotmail.com) - #6658
4) TBA

FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: The Cthulhu Mythos
Motto: From the unknown wastelands, we come...
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/~samekh/Flight2/fear.htm
1) LCM Soontir Fel (dark.sithlord@gmx.de) - #6080
2) LCM Carl Starr (Carl_Starr@hotmail.com) - #5625
3) LCM Derf (derf967@aol.com) - #6261
4) TBA

FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: The Aftershock of Death
Motto: Living the Emperor's Dream
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/~samekh/Flight3/welcome.htm
1) LCM Justin (Jmantonico@aol.com) - #5853
2) LT Zach (Zasnipes@yahoo.com) - #6466
3) LT Sancho (kindups@aol.com) - #6998
4) TBA

AYLIN SQUADRON : Assault
COMMANDER: COL Gen Es'mith (GRVSmith@aol.com) - #589
NICKNAME: Emperor's Hellbringers
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/aylin.gif
MOTTO: Contendo prorsus quam servo tergum (Shoot straight and check your six)
HOMEPAGE: http://aylinsquadron.homestead.com/files/aylin.htm
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.bravenet.com/forum/show.asp?usernum=571433496

FLIGHT I - ASSAULT GUNBOAT
Nickname: The Clerics
Motto: Father, into your hands, we commit their spirit..
1) COL Gen Es'mith (GRVSmith@aol.com) - #589
2) TBA
3) LT Face Loran (Thorin5@aol.com) - #1282
4) TBA

FLIGHT II - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Vengance Flight
Motto: Deeply we brood o'er the slain...
1) LCM Hotshot (brian-gerken@augustana.edu) - #591
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA

FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: Flock of Death
Motto: Fear the "feather touch" of Death!
1) LT Rogue Ronin (cpreece20@aol.com) - #3228
2) LT Max (MadMtnDogMax@aol.com) - #5669
3) LCM Jennif Es'mith (JSmith3396@aol.com) - #594
4) TBA

PE SQUADRON : Interdiction
COMMANDER: CM Keiran (kmdolfin@yahoo.com) - #3147
NICKNAME: Dark Knights of the Empire
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/pe.gif
MOTTO: Our Enemies Burn in the Name of the Emperor
HOMEPAGE: http://pesquadron.cjb.net

FLIGHT I - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: Keiran's Krazy Ones
Motto: When the going gets tough, we get tougher
1) CM Keiran (kmdolfin@yahoo.com) - #3147
2) TBA
3) TBA
4) TBA

FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED
Homepage: http://peflight2.tsx.org
1) TBA
2) TBA
3) LT Sotskov Yan (lazerus@inbox.ru) - #2910
4) TBA

FLIGHT III - ASSAULT GUNBOAT
Nickname: Russian Flight
1) LCM Pain_then_Death (mysteryman5000@hotmail.com) - #3231
2) LT Kataka (xskop@hotmail.com) - #4993
3) TBA
4) TBA

SADHE SQUADRON : Escort
COMMANDER: COL Sickman (sickman@ntlworld.com) - #301
NICKNAME: The Black Knights
BANNER: http://www.tiecorps.org/images/banners/sadhe.gif
MOTTO: Be Fearful Of Us, We Will Be Your Last Vision.
HOMEPAGE: http://www.raptor.nu/sadhe/
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.sitepowerup.com/mb/view.asp?BoardID=120563

FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: Fade to Black
Motto: After Victory We Fade to Black
1) COL Sickman (sickman@ntlworld.com) - #301
2) LCM Thomas Nitecki (tnnn@kki.net.pl) - #6260
3) LT Corsair (chewie111@hotmail.com) - #6680
4) LCM Darth Angelus (laverick@bigfoot.com) - #757

FLIGHT II - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Birds of Darkness
Motto: No sound, no light...just death.
Homepage: http://sadheflight2.clickhere2.net
1) LCM Jason Hunter (kitfoxh@hotmail.com) - #5136
2) TBA
3) LT Murkrow Defender (mike_pilot1@hotmail.com) - #6589
4) LCM Dakar Romson (ks.dunbar@sk.sympatico.ca) - #6282

FLIGHT III - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: The Widow Makers
Motto: We Kill Without Remorse
Homepage: http://widow.godin.org.uk/
1) LCM Kettch (efa_kitch@hotmail.com) - #5243
2) LT Cameron Alpha (legion@camo.freeserve.co.uk) - #6202
3) LT Foobat (Foobat@white-star.com) - #5481
4) SL Taymar Devlin (Taymar@btinternet.com) - #6398

Flag Officers - 1
Mem - 11
Nun - 6
Samekh - 9
Aylin - 6
Pe - 4
Sadhe - 11
Total: 48

::SALUTE::

WC/LC Proton/Wing V/SSSD Sovereign
SS/BS/PC/ISMx2/OV [HUSS] {IWATS-SM/2}
The Hammer's Hellfighters
TIE Corps COM's Citation/March 2001
SBM (Sith)/QUA/Tridens of Tarentum