They said it would never happen. A politician telling the truth. Hell Freezing Over. Reaper being sober. All events far more likely to happen than this. But it has happened, and I have been appointed Wing Commander, and that means... Minkus stylee Wing Report!

(Don't Run! It'll be fun! I promise you! >:P)

Wing News

- Of course, the big news this week this week is after Wolvie's resignation, yours truly has been appointed as the new Wing IV Wing Commander. Allegations that I threatened to blow up Proton's house in SWG if I didn't get the job are completely unfounded. And anyone with an IRC log of me saying such a thing are lying. (Your cheques will be in the post, gentlemen. Just give me the damn log! >:P) Seriously, most of you know who I am, but for some of the newer pilots, I'll give you a quick rundown of my career. I've been in Wing IV for nearly 4 years now, and I've spent a grand total of just over 3 years as Teth CMDR. I've also held the position of PREX of the Corporate Division in my time in the EH, and I usually have some idea what I'm doing. My general plan for the Wing over the next couple of months is to return us to a decent state of activity. Our total of 0 submissions for the Beer Cup is somewhat horrifically embarrassing for us, and it's something I'm keen to address. But the key over the next couple of months is enjoyment. I'm going to do my best to do things that people will enjoy, and if you ever have any suggestions for this, please don't hesitate to contact me. Country to popular rumours, I don't leave you with permanent scars! >:P

- Along with my appointment as Wing Commander. We've had several Commander appointments as well. Lieutenant Commander Airamags was promoted to the rank of Commander and took Command of Cheth Squadron, and Lieutenant Commander Hirikka was promoted to the rank of Commander and took Command of Teth Squadron, I'm sure both of you will do great jobs! Major Malik was also promoted to Commander of Lamed, but promptly managed to get himself booted out of the TC just a few days later. >:P As a result, I am now looking for a new Lamed Commander! My only major requirements are that you have passed SM 2 or 3, and don't have any major HCI convictions, otherwise I'm willing to entertain any and all applications for the position. I'll be accepting applications for the next week or so, so anyone whose interested in the position should e-mail me at daz@mini-minkus.freeserve.co.uk with your application, and basically tell me why I should give you the job. >:P

- Now, to get you uptodate on several of the new things that'll be coming into the wing in the next few weeks. Starting from the end of this month, I will be awarding the title of Squadron of the Month, Commander of the Month and Pilot of the Month to those who are most deserving! This will be recognition for those who actually do some work, and will reflect favourably upon you when it comes to promotion and reward time! As well as that, the winners of these prestigious awards will receive the usual bragging rights over the rest of the wing, with the encouragement from me to flaunt your awards around. >:P Also, as an added bonus, the winners of the Squadron of the Month will receive a whole week's FREE access to the Teth Distillery, and sample the fine produce that comes out of their each day! Any members of Teth who wish to complain, can come see me and my golf clubs whenever they wish. >:P So, to be in line for December's awards... I suggest you start doing something. *HINT!* >:P

- I'm also going to be bringing back the Wing Commander's Honour Guard competition. For those of you who don't remember this competition, it works in the following manner. 2 pilots volunteer for the WCHG, and will fly against each other. They choose the mission they will be flying, and the deadline (if they can't agree, I'll do it for them) and they both fly the mission and send them to me. I compare the scores, and announce the winner. The winner becomes the Wing Commander's Honour Guard, and the Wing's best pilot, and is rewarded with a nice Iron Star. The WCHG holder can then be challenged by any other member of the Wing for the title, and we repeat the whole process again. A couple of things I would like to draw everyone's attention too... as Wing Commander. I can no longer fly. Which means there IS a point to competing. And secondly, should the WCHG refuse a challenge, they'll automatically lose their title. Anyone interested in competing for the title and the rewards that come with it, please e-mail me! The first 2 to do so, will obviously be the ones who fly for the title first!

- Competitions. I should warn you all now, I plan to introduce a large number of competitions over the next few weeks, from flying to fiction to IWATS, there's going to be quite a lot. A important thing I want to stress here is I'm not expecting everyone to do submit in everything. Just do whatever you want to, the important thing is that there's something available to you that you like. If I miss anything, please feel free to contact me about it, and we'll see what can be done about setting it up as a competition. Again, I stress it's not going to be mandatory to do everything, just so long as you do something. >:P I will announce more about these competitions once I've finalised my ideas and obtained TO approval for them.

- Also on the subject of competitions, I'll be looking to set up a Wing IV v some other fools competition in the New Year. If anyone has any potential victims to suggest, that let me know, and we'll see who the majority of the wing want to smack silly. >:P If, of course your suggestion is not picked for our first target, then don't worry, I'm sure we're going to get to them eventually. >:P Everyone will have had a nice friendly encounter with Wing IV eventually. >:P

- Wing IV Website. We need one. As I said in my e-mail last night, the Wing needs a new website, and I'm looking for someone to help me with this, since my web skills, well. Suck. >:P I've already had several responses, and I'll be getting in touch with those people a little later, but if anyone else is interested, they should get in contact with me ASAP!

- Final note for the Week, support your loveable Wing Commander in his quest for Sov Cup glory! Err. Well. At least don't openly support the other guy. >:P Please? >:P

Wing Activity

- Zip-a-de-do-da Zip-e-day, my o my what an inactive day! Apart from me doing a couple of free missions, I'm not aware of anything else. Which is not a good thing! Fly! Fly my little minions! Err. What do you mean power crazy already? >:P
- Oh. Yes. Something that will shock and stun older Wing IV members. Minkus did an IWATS course! *GASP!* Indeed. I took and passed SM/3 with a score of 99%! Yah! Go ME! Of course. This probably has less to do with my skills as a CMDR, and more to do with some extremely dodgey marking... >:P (*Note to self. Should stop making jokes at COM's expense. Not a good thing. >:P)

Promotions/Transfers/Awards

- COL Mini Minkus was promoted to WC
- LCM Airamags was promoted to CM, and CMDR of Cheth Squadron
- LCM Hirikka was promoted to CM, and CMDR of Teth Squadron
- LT Myn Delaktor was promoted to FL of Zayin Flight 2
- I recommended a few overdue medals last night, but it appears Axle's not around... so they remain unrewarded. Boo! >:P

Non Wing IV (Dull >:P) News

- COL Brian was made CMDR of Omega Squadron. Since his appointment came only a day before mine, this means he shares New Boy duties with me amongst the Sov Flags. Which is a good thing. >:P
- The COM of the Challenge(d) resigned. Which might mean they stop being not very good, and means we can smack them silly. Yay! >:P
- New TIE Battles have been released TIE-FREE #241-243 and TIE-TC #216,217. There was much rejoicing! >:P
- Err. S'been a slow week in the TC. Nothing new there, then. >:P

Wing Status

Flag Officers - 1
Zayin - 5
Cheth - 6
Teth - 10
Yod - 4
Kaph - 6
Lamed - 5
Total: 37

Technically we're still the biggest Wing on the Sov. However, in terms of anyone actually doing anything.... different story. >:P

And that's about it for this week ladies and gentlemen! I can't really think of anything else I need to put in the report, leastways anything anyone's going to find remotely interesting... so until next week... be good, and do stuff! >:P Else the old Golden Golf Clubs will be making an appearance. And as Wing IV vets will know... this is not a good thing! >:P

WC/COL Mini Minkus/Wing IV/SSSD Sovereign
GS/BSx6/PCx15/ISMx18/MoI/MoT-1gh-1bh/IS-8BW-2BR-4SW-2GW/LoC-CSx2/CoL/CoB/OV-4E [GLDR] {IWATS-M/1-SM/2/3}


This is the bit all you old school Wing IVers have been waiting for... the ">:P" Count!
Number of ">:P"s in this Report = 23!
Note only >:P's included above the IDLine in this report are included in the final total. Any attempt to tell the WC that he can't count properly will be laughed at. Loudly.