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Major Pickled Yoda reporting
in for Wing XIII on December 28th |
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Report Fiction!
Gilad is climbing
up some unnecessarily long stairs, and at the top, far above
him, the MONASTERY *dramatic music*
Finally, Gilad
reaches the top and goes through the large wooden door
A Monk Leader suddenly
appears next to Gilad.
Gilad> My goodness.
Joey> Hello.
Gilad>That was quite a shock. It's extremely nice to meet
you. My name is Gilad Pellaeon...and I am looking for a Pickled
Yoda.
Joey> No man here...carries with him...a label.
Gilad>What? Oh, yes. No names. How silly of me. He's an
Australian.
Joey>We are all children...of the same life force.
Gilad>Yes, of course we are. He bends over and speaks from
his rear.
Joey>Oh, him. Right this way. He came to us a broken man.
He had lost the will to sustain his existence.
Gilad>Yes, I heard about that unfortunate accident with
the raccoon.
Joey>It was terrible for him. But the life force...once
again...smiled upon him. He's now at peace. I will wait here.
*Door opens to
reveal Yoda, in a meditative pose, wearing a ridiculous hat*
*Gilad goes closer and closer, until mere inches from Yoda,
who has not acknowledged Gilad's prescence. Suddenly, he shouts,
and Gilad is startled.*
Yoda> I must
apologize.
Gilad>Quite. Well, no harm done. Let me introduce myself.
My name is Gilad Pellaeon,and I'm here to employ your services
as a Wing Commander for the Grey Wolf. Can you help us?
Yoda>Your request is like your intestine. Stinky, and loaded
with danger.
Gilad>We can pay handsomely.
Yoda>I am now a child of light. Your earthly money holds
no appeal to me.
Gilad>$20,000.
Yoda>Reeeeeeeally? ....No. I cannot. For I am sorely needed,
here...at the monastery.
Joey>If I may interject? We're short of space. And it's
important for you to use your talents. Let me help you pack.
Yoda>But I have yet to attain omnipresent super-galactic
oneness.
Joey>Wait! There it is! You've just attained it.
Yoda>I have?
Joey>Just now. You are one! I can see it in your eyes.
You're more one than anyone.
Yoda>What about my medallion of spiritual accomplishment?
Joey>Take mine.
Yoda>This took you 80 years to achieve!
Joey>That's okay. I don't like it anymore. Really.
Yoda>In light of this personal sacrifice you've made, I
have no choice, but to take the case.
Joey>Great! I'll tell the others.
Yoda> Master ... Break it to them gently.
*Our two heroes leave the Monastery, but all of the other
monks appear to be partying*
Yoda> I've never seen them act like that before. Denial
can be an ugly thing.
Gilad>We should go, Major Yoda. I've arranged a shuttle.
Yoda>I'll meet you at the bottom. There's still one more
thing I must do before I go.
*Yoda starts a slinky down the long, thousand stairs that
lead up to the Monastery*
Wow, that was long.
I promise never to do that again. You may have noticed that
it is remarkably similar to the opening of Ace Ventura
2. I swear its a coincidence.
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I
am the new Wing Commander. You must have noticed.
Emails received
as Wing Commander - XAM passed by...me . IS-BR goes to....me.
Thats all, Gilad
has the full list. Leave me alone, its my first report.
Ghorg won the "How
long will Gilad last" Comp....do I get one? :P
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Wolfpack
Iron Star Competitions:
FCHG Comp- For the pilot who gains the most
FCHG Points in a month
CR Comp- For the pilot who gains the most
CR Points in a month
Wolfpack Ace- For the pilot who earn the
most Pilot of the Week awards
Trivia Comp- For the pilot who answers the
most Trivia questions in a month
Graphics Comp- For the pilot who submits
the best graphics in a month
Beat the COM- For the pilot who beats the
COM in head-to-head MP
Vlad's
Easter Egg Hunt - Version Two
Yes, thats right. Vlad's crazy egg hunt is going on again.
Now with even more rewards...but harder eggs. Good luck, but
not too much, I also have my eyes on that GR >:P. |
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I
haven't got a record of the flying, etc done ...I will mention
a new fad in the wing though...
Basically, the
name of the game is "Drive your Commander Insane".
It helps if you are both online at the same time.
What you have to
do, is fly as many free missions in an hour as you can, with
someone timing. Note - you must message the timer after each
mission. For added fun, make the timer your commander. As
an optional extra, the timer may take bets on what your score
will be, with everyone in #wingxiii having a guess.
I must confess, I am directly to blame for this..
The current record for Tie Frees 1-100 is 19 in one hour. The current record for Tie Frees 100-x is 17. I have separated these because we all know what the early Tie Battles are like.
This game has not been tested on XvT/XWA
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Quote
: <Mobsta> OOOOH...personal craft admin options
Yes, I now have
teh uber admin!!! My personal craft is finally Z-95 Trainer.
Take *that!* OoB :P
I am sure I could
come up with a bunch of pledges, and promises...but I won't.
I will tell you, however, that in my application, under "Goals
for the Wing", I simply said :
1 - Get a full
roster
and
2 - Win SC:VI.
Thats all I need
until we have achieved this...so don't ask until the end of
Feburary for new goals.
Link of the week
: Real Life Comics
Very funny.
I am looking for
feedback on the look of this report...personally, I like it
a lot. Don't expect to see the marques replaced by stationary
text, though...its far too much space >:P. Sarin isn't
the only one with a report format that actually makes you
interested in the content - hoo-ah!
I got ADSL 512/128
on an unlimited download plan recently...which means:
a) - if you know good things to download...im interested.
For too long have I said "no, 20MB would take me a day
to download"
b) The new hub/router has a firewall that I want to get rid
of. (Hardware). How can I get dcc and Multiplayer working
again? Cookies for the winners P.S. even though I didn't make a big 'Ocsar Winner's Speech, I'd like to thank Gilad and Darksaber for appointing me. Hah, Joey, I put that in.
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1 - Have a nice
holiday, all of you may forget about activity until next year.
2 - Go see Return
of the King. In related news, VA Frodo is in Mordor, on leave
for a few days. (Well, thats better than just saying 'on leave'
, isn't it?)
3 - GWSOoM are
declared Knights of the Realm, and are allowed free travel
within these lands...uh..
Ok, lets just say we won't be cleaning the hull any time soon.
4 - Kelh and Ghorg
have to polish my Tie Fighter
5 - Squadron Commanders
are to do that MSE thing, by the new year...but I will accept
them from now. |
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