Wing IX Report #15 From the desk of Lieutenant Colonel Rejili Holthaus...

FLEET NEWS
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1. WEEKLY NEWS ITEM OF THE WEEK THAT'S COMPLETELY INCONSEQUENTIAL AND UNIMPORTANT BUT IT HELPS FILL UP A REPORT
News sucks :P

2. TOKEN TACTICAL OFFICE NEWS ITEM OF THE WEEK TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THEM
New battles released.

3. ELITE NEWS WHICH IS PROBABLY INNAPROPRIATE FOR THIS TYPE OF REPORT BUT IS INCLUDED ANYWAY
Avenger won lots of LoCs, according to the COO report :P


WING NEWS
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1. 100th WING IX WWR CELEBRATION
Nice participation, better than I expected. Our winners our 1st place: MAJ Drachen. 2nd place: CPT Hermann. They will be receiving awards as soon as the competition is approved. I can't remember whether or not these were ever awarding, since the comp took a month to be approved :P Please respond if you won a medal and didn't receive it.

2. FREE WEB HOSTING
Mell has agreed to give all our squadrons free hosting on tcbg.net. CMDRs who have not yet contacted me about this, please do so. Also, remember that you may have to bug Mell a little bit, he's been kinda slow to reply to things lately :P

3. NEW RANT COMP
I have about 3 weeks worth of material right now, but I'm still taking entries. Once again, if you won a medal which hasn't been awarded, please let me know.

4. **RECRUITMENT DRIVE** - #1 PRIORITY
Our numbers are lower than they have ben since our last recruitment drive, so it's about time for another. We realy need to get some new blood in here, go for rl and reservists, stay away from cadets. I will be VERY generously awarding everyone who brings in recruits. If we don't get some soon a squadron WILL close.

5. WEEKLY ACTIVITY
I want to see stuff I can submit to the EH newsletter to promote Wing IX. Each submission get's you a medal in and of itself, plus I'll offer ISM/PC if you send me enough stuff to merit it. This is something easy to do, the newsletter will publish just about anything, so let's get out there and make ourselves known.


6. RUNON RIDDLE COMP
Did you get medals for this yet either? :P

7. ATTENTION FMs AND FLs!
I noticed on this round of MSEs that some pilots didn't have all their activity accounted for. Your CMDR keeps track of activity, but you can't expect them to know every little thing you do. When I start saying it's MSE time, I want you guys to send a report of your activity for the month to your CMDRs. This is more for you then for me, because if you tell us things that you've done which we haven't recorded, you're more likely to get better medals and rewards.

8. CHANGE OF EMAIL
I'm still getting some emails (mostly from the webgroup, which I'm unable to fix right now :P) to my hotmail account. Please update your records to my new address, NHolthaus@Gmail.com , not too much different, just where it counts ;P

9. DRINK OF THE WEEK
Straight from the bar of the Stardrifter Lounge, and personally tested and approved by Lieutenant Colonel Rejili Holthaus, this week's serving suggestion ...

Sex Machine

1 1/2 oz. Kahlua
1 1/2 oz. Bailey's Irish Cream
milk
serve in lowball glass



THE WING IX MORALE OFFICE
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A Rant from the Desk of Colonel Steve the Cricket Bat ...

A rant from your local favourite, LT Greven Targaryen :

MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat), and you.



Ok, Ive been in the military for all of..ohh 4 months now, and have begun to notice a trend or two. My worst and foremost pet peeve, is the government issued MRE. Now, don't get me wrong, some of them are great, and don't take like smashed dog turds. Some of them however, resemble that of cat food and have a taste thats indescribable in terms of toxicity. Case in point : Menu item number 4, Beef Patty. Now, one normally thinks of meat as a (hopefully) tender material that is fried, roasted, barbequed, or flambette'd. This stuff, however, is far more frightening than your digestive system could ever imagine.



Once you open up your Beef Patty MRE, you notice a few things. You have a piece of wheat snack bread (interestingly enough called 'Bunny Bread', since it looks like the head of one), some cheese spread (which in emergencies can be used to plug leaks in tires or stem the flow of blood from one's spurting extremity), a drink mix (once mixed with water, it becomes a potent solvent capable of corroding titanium), and your main meal : The Beef Patty. The menu varies time to time, but this is the most common. Now, after attempting to make it all the way through eating your bread without taking a sip of water (an impossibility), you move on to heating, and eventually eating your patty. After several minutes in the water-activated cooker, you take out the package of beef, and open'er up. Here, it becomes readily apparent that you're no longer eating meat, but instead compressed Meow Mix wet catfood, sprinkled with the Beef flavouring from a packet of Top Ramen noodles. Roughly ten minutes after you choke down the 'meat', your gastrointestinal system hits the panic button. Evacuate! it says. The resulting blast is powerful enough to kill most micro-organisms in seconds, and drive larger, more intelligent life from the immediate 5-10m area. This is only if you're lucky. There are some cases in which, the resulting backblast refused to cease-fire until well into the next day.



Well..that concludes that, and now, off to eat!

*Sits down with an MRE*

Mmm...Chicken in Thai Rice...




Col. Steve the Cricket Bat
c/o LT Greven Targaryen

ACTIVITY
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57 mission(s) flown
0 IWAT(S) passed
3 WSR's issued
1 Competitions Processed

A mediocre week, which I think reflects my own activity lately. The month of March is going to be very difficult for me IRL, and odds are I will have to take some extended leave and appoint an A:WC to take over some of my duties. You've probably noticed that this weeks report sucks and is mostly about me wondering whether I've awarded any comp medals recently :P Get back to me on that if you earned one, and actually want to see it added to your profile. If I don't hear from you in a week, I'll assume I've already done it. Once again, I appoligize for my lack of presence and good reporting this week, and hopefully I'll be back on my feet soon.

In other news, when I get some free time I will probably have to rearrange the roster in response to the number of AWOLs we have. However, if we can get 4 or 5 new recruits, we can keep all our squadrons open, so get out there! :)

POSTINGS AND PROMOTIONS
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MAJ Nuno and MAJ Powerslave retire to M/FRG Phoenix

AWARDS
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Squadron of the Week: Hammer - 57 missions flown
Pilot of the Week: Klyn Shanga, for flying without getting any other credit, and LCM Fahrer for flying the most.



COMPETITIONS
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RANT COMP - see above

STANDING ORDERS
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-ALL MEMBERS-

Weekly Contact
At the very minimum, all members of the Wing will make contact with thier direct superior at least one time per week, VIA EMAIL. This is the very minimum to be considered active in Wing IX. If you intend to be off of the internet for more then (5) days, email your Commander and let him or her know as a common courtesy. If you are taking a Leave of Abscense more then ten (10) days, notify your Commander -AND- the Wing Commander via email.


-SQUADRON COMMANDERS-

Weekly Squadron Reports (WSRs)
WSEs will be submitted NLT 12.00PM each Thursday by email to the Wing Commander, Your Squadron, and the Wing IX Email List. Also, each report must contain statistics for Total missions flown, and IWATS passed.

Monthly Squadron Evaluations (MSEs)
MSEs will be submitted to the Wing Commander NLT the last day of the month. It should cover activity throughout the whole month.

AWOLs / MIAs / Reserve Requests
If you have found a pilot to be AWOL (no contact in 30 days), or MIA (bad email address), or a pilot has requested to go the reserves, you WILL NOT make the database request yourself. Forward the relevant information to the Wing Commander, who will verify the information, and make one last effort to 'save' the pilot before he or she is removed from the wing. This is NOT to take authority away from the CMDRs, but to allow the flags to ensure that a pilot really wants to leave. A good example is a pilot whos pissed off at his CMDR and has requested the reserves, when it's entirely possible the pilot would be happy in another squadron.

Flight Leaders
EVERY Flight Leader position in the Wing will ALWAYS be filled. If your Flight Leader leaves the squadron for whatever reason, you will appoint a new Flight Leader immediately. The Flight Office requires that all three flights have a leader in order for new pilots to be placed in that Squadron. We will not miss any opportunity for new pilots!

Designated XO
Every Squadron will have a designated XO. This person will know what he or she needs to do in the event that you are unable to come online, specifically in the area of filing a report for you.


QUOTE OF THE WEEK
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"I hate life"
-Me



In service of the Empire,

Lieutenant Colonel Rejili Holthaus
NHolthaus@Hotmail.com - "Baron de Menari"
WC/LC Rejili Holthaus/Wing IX/ISD Relentless
PCx4/ISMx3/MoI/MoT-1gh/IS-2BR-2SR-1GR/CoL/CoB/LoA/OV-4E [KNGT]
{IWATS-AIM-BOT-CBX-CSS-FZ-GFX-IBX-ICQ-IIC/1/2/3-JS-LIN-M/1/2-MP-MS-RT-SM/2/3-SWGB-TLN-TM/1-TT-VBS-WM-WPN-XAM}