Sas : Next!
(A very tall woman, dressed all in black and wearing a curious black mask, enters the room)
Woman : I'm here about the job opening.
Sas : Yes, and you are ... ?
Woman : Darth Butch.
Sas : I'm ... sorry? Could you repeat that?
DB : Darth Butch. B-U-T-C-H.
Sas : I ... see ...
DB : I can choke people with the force, and I also take memos and type at 50 wps.
Sas : Oooooooookay, well ... I have your application right here, so ... I'll call you.
DB : Uh huh.
(Woman leaves ... Sas takes application and runs it through the shredder)
Sas : Next!
* * *
Welcome one and all to another little slice 'o' heaven that I like to call "Wing III weekly reports"! All CMDRs are required to forward this to their pilots under penalty of death (no, not really). Let's get right down to it !!!
Wing III Stats
--------------------
Aleth - 8
Beth - 9
Gimel - 6
Daleth - 8
Hey - 4
Vav - 0 (Inactive)
Flag Officer - 1 ( "Sasquatch" : Indian for 'He who is tall and writes reports')
Total: 36 (No change from last week)
Position Moves (8.20.00 -- 8.28.00)
---------------------------------------------------
- FM/SL Bomber, Aleth : Declared AWOL and removed from the rosters
- FM/LCM Aeron, Mu : Transfers to Beth Squadron!
- FM/LCM Cal Sinis, Beth : Advanced to Flight Leader of Beth Flight Three
Awards 'n' Stuff
-----------------------
The Palpatine's Crescent (PC) has been awarded to :
- LCM Cray Mikalen
The Medal of Tactics (MoT) has been awarded to :
- LCM Herman (green hammer)
Wing III News Headlines
------------------------------------
- The HUGE BIG EXCITING MIND-BLOWING NEWS (TM) this week is something that I, personally, have been waiting for a long time. I can remember typing up a squadron report several months back, and breaking a story about how official Emperor's Hammer merchandise would be available for purchase sometime in the future. Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to announce to you that, finally, that day has arrived. Act now, and you too can have your own Emperor's Hammer tee shirt, coffee mug, and mouse pad. Here's the address : http://www.cafepress.com/emperor/
Happy shopping, and rest assured that all proceeds will go to help fund the EH, which is a very costly endeavor for the big guys in charge.
- LCM Cray Mikalen posts the Wing III mentoring homepage : http://wing3mentors.ehnet.org . Great work, Cray!
- No word yet on Commendations of Loyalty, but rest assured that my recommendations DID make it in on time, and nobody else has gotten any either. The Operations Office is taking it's time on these, so stay tuned ...
- CPT Jahan Kalar is working to update the Wing III webpage, and update it to a newer style that is consistant with the work he did on the Recon Office website. He projects a finish date of August 31st, so prepare to be dazzled!
- Lots and lots of activity from Gimel's LT Quake. He's flown ... filled out his INPR ... made tons of new graphics (several attached), including an entry for the W3 competition and the TIE Corps banner displayed on TC.ORG ... listed "#Gimel" as an 'official' IRC chat room ... written a new IRC script ( http://www.ehscript.cjb.net ) ... AND passed many, many IWATS courses. And that's just the stuff I KNOW about!!! Keep up the great work, Quake, and keep setting an excellent example for the pilots of Gimel!
- FO/AD Sarriss has put her foot down when it comes to 'clones' (multiple TIE Corps characters) :
You may have 1 TC and 1 NC character. They MUST have different names and different email addresses, and you MUST inform the FO of their existence. The FO needs the following info: ID Lines and Pin Numbers of all characters. CA's and CS'ers may have a 2nd TC clone as a pilot in the Corps, NOT in another command position (ie CMDR up). These second clones are subject to the relevant person spending a minimum of one month in their CS/CA position. If the CS/CA returns to the Corps, the second clone MUST be de-activated. This policy WILL be strictly enforced, so if you don't understand it, ASK!!! Any persons found disobeying this policy WILL be severly dealt with!!
- CPT Jahan Kalar has returned from a short weekend leave. Also, he has revealed the 'cool new thing' for Aleth Squadron :
Remember how I said I would annonce something cool in the last squad report? Well this is it, the Aleth Squadron top gun competition. This competition will involve 3 missions that I will design, a dogfighting mission, a capitol ship bombing mission and a escort mission. These missions will be as average as possible so that they don't cater to any particular flying style. Each mission will be fairly easy to complete so that everyone can finish, it is just a matter of getting the highest score. The winner of each catagory will receive an ISM and the overall winner (all the scores added up) will also get an ISM as well as the honor of using "Aleth Squadron Top Gun" on their ID line. So if you are really good you can win 4 ISMs as well as use "Aleth Squadron Top Gun" on your ID line. This competition will last for a while (not sure how long, probably over a month) so that everyone has time to fly. Expect the missions to be out later next week, I still have to finish them up. And remember, I will be flying too, and since I can't award myself an ISM, I could take 'em all. Mwahhahaha!!! Anyway...
... and it DOES sound cool! Good luck to all Aleth pilots!
- The Wing III "Gallery" is currently in the planning stages! The Gallery will host graphics (and perhaps RL pics) submitted by W3'ers ...
- Speaking of pics, you'll find a RL pic of Beth's Werdna Elbee in the latest edition of 'BattleCry' (go read the newest issue : http://battlecry.ehnet.org ) ... Daleth CMDR Daniel Kamprath can be seen at the Daleth homepage ( www.daleth.co.uk ) ... and yours truly can be found in the WC 'Hall of Shame' on the SSSD Sovereign main domain!
- Great fiction by Daleth's LCM Van on the Daleth message board ... I understand that Van plans to submit this in the W3 competition once it is completed! In the mean time, check it out and get left in suspense : http://www.sitepowerup.com/mb/view.asp?BoardID=115103
- Sequoh's back!!! MAJ Sequoh Marden finally returned from his two week absence, and relieved LCM Cray Mikalen of his position as Beth A-CMDR. I shudder to think how many e-mails Sequoh had to look through ... two weeks is a LONG time to have your EH mail back up ...
- Lastly, I recently returned from a brief weekend leave. Have you ever noticed how you think of the most inappropriate things at the strangest times? For instance, I was speeding down the freeway when I realized that I told everyone that 'CPT' Daniel Kamprath could handle any emergencies in my absence ... wrong rank! Sorry about that, Major ;-)
Wing III Orders
----------------------
- Wing III Multi-catagory competition continues, and now it's official : http://www.imperialacademy.org/compdisplay.asp?ID=98
Time is beginning to run out ... remember, deadline is September 10th!!! Again, anyone who missed the rules should contact me. Catagories in flight, fiction, and graphics. Original FREE-XWA mission for the flight catagory is attached!
- Deadline for Sovereign Squadron League CR#12 is August 30th!!! Battle to fly is TC-TIE #128, "Operation : Yridia Alpha". CMDRs, I want squadron scores reported to me by August 31st at the latest. Report in even if nobody in your squad flew the mission.
- The MegaSov Comp is coming!!! Planned to run throughout the month of September, it will be based on FCHG points, allowing all Sov wings to compete against one another! You might even be able to win a Bronze Star! Stay tuned, more details next week ...
- Grudge match against the ISD Vanguard! The WC of Wing XV has recently challenged us to a Wing vs. Wing competition, which is scheduled to begin sometime in mid-September. Boy, we are gonna be busy in September! Details for this competition are still being worked out, you'll know more as soon as I do.
- Recruit! Recruit recruit!! Recruit recruit recruit!!!
Wing III Quote 'o' the Week
----------------------------------------
"Btw, we're on a SSSD not an ISD. We're just plain bigger'n'better!!!" -- CPT Werdna Elbee, showing Sov Pride
Other notable quotes this week :
"Perhaps I should start the 'Sovereign Spork?' " -- COM/FA Kramer is intrigued by the concept of a Golden Spoon ...
"If anyone SHOULD have a medal but [doesn't] ... mail me and I'll raise hell ... ... but in a nice, polite way." -- CPT Elbee, looking out for the rest of Beth after their 2nd place finish in the XWA League
"During my absence I will authorize LCM Turr to shoot any Aleth pilots that are acting up, so don't ..." -- CPT Jahan Kalar goes on vacation, and leaves Aleth Squadron in fear
"Agahrerag you broke my arm Wolly.. damn you, damn you! Well actually I just fell down the stairs at my school..." -- WC Fondor from Wing V tries to blame his injury on Wing I's WC Wolly ... we would have believed him if he hadn't admitted to falling down the stairs ...
"Oh, and would somebody please wake Werdna from his drunken stupor? We've got to look sober for the boss!" -- LCM Cray Mikalen tries to get Beth Squadron ready for Sequoh's return
"Now lets all go to the cantina and drink some milk!" -- MAJ Sequoh Marden, who will be suffering from the first ever Milk Hangover tomorrow
The following lines were taken from the website, "Mr. T vs. the Art of Conversation" ... I ran across this page during my travels through cyberspace, and HAD to include them in the quotes section. Enjoy ;-)
(The scene : Mr. T is giving advice to normal people who just happen to drop in and talk to him ... he ends up solving personal problems, including getting a vegetarian to eat meat and telling a biker to go buy himself a puppy. Here are a few more ...)
"Kenson" : Hey, Mr. T! Want to come to church with us to beat up old people and steal from God? Then we can go make fun of the poor and oppressed.
Mr. T (looking angry) : No way, fooh! You best be gettin' outta God's house wit dat crazy talk 'fo I have to throw ya.
"Kenson" : Uh... we were only kidding, Mr. T. C'mon, Randy, let's go volunteer for the Walk For Life.
Mr. T (standing at the Walk for Life, now only slightly angry) : Yeah, you suckas better be there. I already got to the walk, 'cause my van is fast, fooh.
***
"Mike" (calling on the phone) : Mr. T, this is Mike from the American Civil Liberties Union, and I'm calling to harass you. We are opposed to all things virtuous, and you're right up there on the list.
Mr. T : Yeah, I hearda you foohs, tryin' to tell the kids they can't pray in school. What's dat nonsense? You best be leavin' me an' da children alone, "Mike".
"Mike" : Well, yes, sir... I'm just a wormy guy they hired to annoy you, but I think I'll quit now. I'll go drink some milk, maybe purchase some firearms like a good citizen. Whatever you want. Please don't throw me.
***
Oddly enough, nobody gets thrown ... anyway, feel free to check out the site if you want to see the rest : http://mr_t_vs_somebody.homestead.com/mrtvstheartofconversation.html
Misc.
--------
- Star Warz Gangsta Rap!!! See Vader get jiggy wit it! See the Emperor rap! See Stormtroopers line dancing! See Yoda busting a move, and see Luke whining like he always seems to. Even if you don't care much for 'gangsta rap', this is worth watching ... you WILL laugh. Go check it out : http://theforce.net/theater/musicvideos/gangsta/index.shtml
Okay, that's enough for this week ... the W3 competition is drawing to a close, so let's get some more entries!!! Until next time, Fly High and Watch Your Six!
WC/COL Sasquatch / Wing III / SSSD Sovereign
[BSx2] [PCx10] [ISMx9] [MoT-gh] [CoB] [LoA] [OV-2E] [IWATS-SM-TT-TM-M-IIC-GFX] [CAVL]
M-T/A 'Silhouette'
Wing III - Phantoms
"We are your Grim Reaper"