~Tempest Squadron Weekly Report #11 - 18th of January 2005~
***~CMDR's Rant~***
Never Argue with a Woman ***~CMDR's Rant~***
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and
continues to read her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies (thinking "isn't that obvious?").
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and
write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment."
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
***~Squadron News~***
*Tempest Squadron - A Call to Arms*(http://www.emperorshammer.net/competitions/details.asp?ID=1723)
My new comp. Or is it your new comp, i forget but anyway...here are the rules.
Each week i will pick a FREE mission to be flown.
The person who gets the highest score will win a IS-BW.
In addition at the end of the month, a pilots total score will be counted and a additional IS-BW will be awarded to the Top Ace.
This means, if u want to be the champ u have to fly :P
All pilot files are due to me no later than 12am SATURDAY Morning each week.
This weeks mission is, TIE-FREE Battle #33 - Katarn #1 (Here)
Round 1 Results:
Daniel -----> 41,652
Rover -----> 40,346
Master ----> 38,923
As you can see its still pretty close and theres still 2 more (inc this week) to fly so don't forget to fly :P
*Imperial Casino*
http://sco.emperorshammer.net/casino
Alright, i have to comment on this.
For those who haven't read what's on the site, the winner becomes the TCCOM's Own. Which apparently means that you get to escort & protect the FO-TCCOM.
So in other words, MAJOR BRAGGING RIGHTS!!!!
I urge all Tempest (and Wing X'ers) to take part in this competition. As its based on Wing Participation we need to all work together.
Even if you cant fly theres a Fiction part.
Anyway, due date for all entries is the 30th.
*Commendation's of Loyalty*
Well its that time of the year again (and once again the OPS forgets until the last min :P). Congrats to all the winners throughout the fleet, if you want the full list visit the TC news page.
I do however want to offer my personal congrats to Daniel & Alexi who were awarded them for their devotion to not only the Wing, but the BG and Fleet.
Congrats guys.
In slightly related news, somehow i managed to get two this year, so thanks to Cor and Stuart for their rec, and thanks to the TAC office as well (tho i didnt deserve theirs :P).
*Uniforms*
Email Stuart if you want a snazzy new uniform.
He redid my flight suit last week and may i say it looks hell cool. Go have a look.
http://www.emperorshammer.net/rosters/personnel.asp?record=6252
*Professor how much is that doggy in the window?*
As I'm sure you've seen on the TC news page, theres lots of Professor spots open. So if your interested in a part time position where u get a funky office and more admin functions then read the news page and find out what u need to do, its all there!!!
Again in slightly related news you can see im missing PROF from my ID line.
Curse me for forgetting to reply to the GA's email.
*Comp 3:16*
Finished.
*#tempest*
Don't forget to sign into mIRC once and a while and join our very own squadron channel.
*Tempest Website*
WOOOO i have made progress!!!!
I had to play drinking games with Mell but he has set up a nifty little space for me to store the site.
So hopefully ill have more to report by my next report.
*Squadron Standing Orders.*
Every week i want you to do one of the following:
*Recruitment*
If you haven't noticed Tempest is in desperate need of pilots, get out there and ask your friends, your relatives, parents, grandmothers, dogs, i don't care, lets just get some people in here.
I am offering a ISM per recruit (Cadet and RSV's alike) and a PC per 5 recruits, so theres a chance for you to get lots of medals and to help not only the squad but also the wing.
***~Squadron Orders~***
~Fly in 'A Call to Arms'~Gamble at the Imperial Casino
~Vote on the Msg Boards
~RECRUIT!!!!!!
~Fly a FREE mission
~Take an IWATS test
***~Wing/BG News~***
~We Won ECR!!!!!***~Fleet News~***
~TO Open for Apps~Training Office at http://www.imperialacademy.org
~Lots of PROF spots open
~CoL's awarded
http://www.emperorshammer.net/news.asp
http://www.emperorshammer.org/news.htm
***~The Usual Suspects~***
GN Master1/12 Awarded Silver Star of the Empire
1/12 Asked for a snazzy squadron email group
1/17 Awarded Commendation of Loyalty x2
1/? Flew TIE-FREE 70
1/? Mission Creation
1/? Recruiting
COL Sephiroth
1/? Idled on IRC
CPT Rover
1/? Flew TIE-FREE 70
LT Impulse
Nothing
CPT Daniel Bonini
1/13 Flew TIE-FREE 70
1/17 Awarded Commendation of Loyalty
1/? Recruiting
SL Ozkan Ata
Nothing
LCM Prost Varsis
1/? Ravaged, Raped, Pillaged & annoyed several personal throughout the ship & IRC
*** ~Challenge Most Wanted~***
TEMPEST SQUADRON OF WING X : Deep StrikeCOMMANDER: GN Master (slavelet@iinet.net.au)
NICKNAME: Riders on the Storm
BANNER: tempest.jpg
MOTTO: "May the winds blow till they have waken'd death!" - Othello
HOMEPAGE: http://tempestsquadron.isdchallenge.net
MESSAGE BOARD: http://ehnet.org/mb/viewforum.php?f=69
FLIGHT I - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Cupid's Arrows
Motto: "Mortuus ex Vento" -- "Death from the Wind"
1) GN Master (slavelet@iinet.net.au)
2) COL Sephiroth (eh_sephiroth@comcast.net)
3) TBA
4) TBA
FLIGHT II - TIE ADVANCED
Nickname: "Katayoku no Tenshi" - The One Winged Angels
Motto: We are the Plague of the Galaxy!
1) CPT Rover (eh_rowaasr13@mail.ru )
2) LT Impulse (impulse@tiefighter.org)
3) TBA
4) TBA
FLIGHT III - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: The Imperial Monsoon
Motto: "We'll blow you off your feet."
1) CPT Daniel Bonini (boninidaniel@uol.com.br)
2) SL Ozkan Ata (spock@inbox.ru)
3) LCM Prost Varsis (thecrazynomad@yahoo.com)
4) TBA
Citations:8
***~Dark Lord of the Week~***
The highly prestigious title of Dark Lord of the Week is only given to the person who has most advanced the success of the Squadron, amused the CMDR, or slipped me the most $5 notes in a brown paper bag. This week's winner is:The CoL winners.
***~Ewok of the Week~***
Yub Yub!Every story has a hero, every journey has a first step, every Fleet has a pilot who's about as much use as an ashtray on a speeder bike. This weeks's Prize Ewok is none other than:
Those who didn't get a CoL, don't worry there will be heaps more chances.
***~Quote of the Week~***
*m0nkb0t has quit IRC (Registered)
*m0nkb0t has joined #Avenger_Squadron
*X sets mode: +v m0nkb0t
*Hero-Radio slaps m0nkb0t around a bit with a large trout
(Hero-Radio) I hate you
*Hero-Radio sets mode: +o m0nkb0t
*m0nkb0t sets mode: -o Hero-Radio
***~Site of the Week~***
http://147.10.81.142/comm/
God bless the new EH quote page.
***~Final Comments~***
And theres all the news, now go fly!*m0nkb0t has quit IRC (Registered)
*m0nkb0t has joined #Avenger_Squadron
*X sets mode: +v m0nkb0t
*Hero-Radio slaps m0nkb0t around a bit with a large trout
(Hero-Radio) I hate you
*Hero-Radio sets mode: +o m0nkb0t
*m0nkb0t sets mode: -o Hero-Radio
***~Site of the Week~***
http://147.10.81.142/comm/
God bless the new EH quote page.
***~Final Comments~***
Until next time.
General Master
ISD Challenge - Tempest Squadron Commander
TAC Office - Head XWA Crash Test Dummy
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