Tornado Squadron Report 24th March 2002
Brought to you in association with Satan.

There now follows a short word from our sponsor:
"When you arrive at Hell, tell me Tornado sent you and you'll get a group discount."


~Weekly CMDR's Rant~
Women, can live with them, cant have hetrosexual sex without them, nuff said :P

~Squadron News~

In the biggest news this week, COL Domi has transfered to the Reserves, we miss ya Domi.

~Wargame News.~

High Admiral Master watched out the viewport of the shuttle as the CRS DarkStar slowly burnt on its escaping oxygen. Admiral Boliv's Imperial Class Star Destroyer continued firing turning the hull black where the turbolasers struck. The several shuttle's carrying personel from the DarkStar and Victory raced to their hyperpoint as several Tie Defenders gave chase.

Just before the shuttle jumped Master saw the DarkStar explode lighting space for a moment then there was nothing but starlines.

~Several Hours Later in a far away sector~

Master sat in the command chair of the ISD Master trying to figure out the next move of the fleet, yes they had lost the battle but the war was far from over and their were many plans only starting to come into effect which would crush his enemies.

The holographic map of the area roted slowly near by, Master stood and pointed to an area a few days travel from their current location, "Take us here, there is work to be done".

Master grinned, yes much work to be done and payback is a bitch.

Yes its true, we lost the battle :(
However the wargame is far from over, In the end result of the battle We lost all our ships and fighters while Boliv's forces lost only 3 or 4 Tie Defenders, and to top it off we lost the Tie Part too by a measly 10k, now im not like Bol and i want bitch and cry...will u just excuse me for a moment....

*Master leaves room*
*Sounds of banging and crashing are heard, "10 thousand points AHHHHHHHHHHHH"*

Ok lets keep focued on the next part of the wargame, expect another battle in a few moves, my spies have told me Boliv's plan so its time to get some payback (And yes i know u are reading this bol >:))

Your battle of the week is....TIE-TC Battle #154 - Spies!
So far LCM Tomaas Montte is the only one who has been flying the battle of the week (Im going to catch up this week :P), the whole point of it is to get at least 50% of pilots to do it so that we get the citation, so i am making this a priority order, do do it or get kicked up the ass.

~Squadron Orders~

Fly TIE-TC Battle #154 - Spies! ~Priority~
IWATS - See what life is like after IWATS.
Recruit - More pilots is always a good thing.
Be Active - Nuff Said.

~Wing/BG News~

Trivia is still going, remeber i am hosting it this month so send your answers to me not to Mai.

The Wargame is still going, Beef and his forces have beaten the Tempest forces over one of the Tempest Planets, good job to them.

Im trying to convince AD Mell to bring back the Ship Ace's or something similar, i think he is starting to finally give in :P so stay tuned.

Im looking for help registering several channels on Undernet, if you havent already offered your help and u have a Cserivce Username then send it to me.

There is a current BG Comp going where u have to design a new Motto and Nickname for the Battlegroups.
Winner shall collect an IS-SR for 1st, runner up will collect an IS-BR, should the winning party also submit a graphic to co-incide with their entry, the winning medal shall be an IS-GR, Runner up will collect IS-SR if a graphic is accompanied.

~Fleet News~
Check out the news pages.

~From the Vault~
Hidden deep somewhere in the Challenge is a giant safe hidden from everyones eyes, inside are detailed files on the EH Command staff (and other staff) and what can be used as discriminating evidence, as well as lots of infomation and Kessler's private pic's of several cadets (YUCK). Only few know of the Vaults existance even fewer have the combination to get in, Master is lucky enough to know it, so for you heres a small snipit of info

Ali G interviews Colonel Callista (ret.)

Ali: Boyaka-sha. Check dis. Today we is talking about the women. I is with none other than Colonel Callista. She be none other than the Commander of Da Typhoon Squadron and we is going to be talking about ladies. Now, one in two people in the Empire be "a women", so we has got to know about this. Women. They is important aren't they?
Calli : They indeed are, very important, as important as men.
Ali: Which is better? Man or Woman?
Calli : Well equality is not about who is better.
Ali: But which one is better? But one must be just a little bit better.
Calli : In what way?
Ali: Like, in the way that somefin is worse and somfin is better.
(confused silence)
Ali: Do you think there will ever be a female Admiral?
Calli : There has been one.
Ali: Who?
Calli : Admiral Sarriss.
Ali: Yeah but she isn't a real Admiral. Do you think they'll ever let another one slip through? Do you think that a women should be able to 'av any job?
Calli : I think so yeah.
Ali: Yeah, but would you feel safe though if you knew a women was flying your shuttle?
Calli : I'm a fighter pilot, and I fly VIP Escort. Would you feel safe then? Do you feel safe being flown by me?
Ali: Nope. Would you not be scared though that she might start nattering or what ever or start finking about fings and then forget to fly the shuttle, and get angry with somebody?
Calli : Of course not!
Ali: A lot of boys me know are trying to get their girlfriend to try a bit of feminism, do you think that is right?
Calli : Yeah I do actually I think it's a good thing.
Ali: Do you think all girls should try feminism at least once? Do you think it's right that they should try it when they is drunk at a party or whatever with one of their mates?
Calli : What do you mean by "trying feminism"?
Ali: You know - try a bit of feminism and when they is sober wake up in the morning and get back with their boyfriend?
Calli : What do you mean?
Ali: When they kiss a women.
Calli : That's not feminism!
Ali: Me Uncle Jamal say that he is tri-sexual. That he will try anything that is sexual. What does that mean?
Calli : There are a lot of people who would like to have sexual relationships with men and women.
Ali: So you think that he is saying that he is having it with blokes?
Calli : Yes.
Ali: Ayyy?
Calli : It would suggest that or that he is interested in it, but maybe not done it. It depends what done it means.
Ali: So you fink my uncle Jamal is a botty boy?
Calli : I don't think he is a botty boy but...
Ali: So you think that he just like it in both pipes?
Calli : Not necessarily.
Ali: So you think that it is a joke? Coz he is a joker. Coz if you call him that to his face he'd probably kill ya.
Calli : I think this interview is pointless. Goodbye.
Ali : Is it because I is black?

~The Usual Suspects~

CM Master
Completed Turn Report for Wargame
Beta Tested Battle of Sharnell (TC) for TAC office

LCM Sint Seelasi
3/21 Flew TIE-FREE #195 - System Patrol (45,575)

LCM Tomaas Montte
3/21 Flew TIE-FREE #195 - System Patrol (24,125)
3/21 Flew TIE-TC Battle #119 - The Razinki Operation (60,410)
3/22 Flew BoP-IW Battle #24 - Rion's Shadow Campaign: Seeds of Corruption (82,261)
3/22 Passed IWATS XvT Mission Creation (92%)
3/22 Passed IWATS Rebellion Tactics (96%)

LT Julius Marcus Aurelius
Tie Problems

COL Domi
3/24 Transfered to RSV's

CPT Shakur
Returned from Leave

COL Ramos
Recruiting
Participated in several MP Comps.
Flew TIE-FREE #195 - System Patrol (3,753)

~Roster~
TORNADO SQUADRON OF WING X : Strike
COMMANDER: CM Master (capt_master@hotmail.com)
NICKNAME: DeathWind
BANNER: tornado.jpg
MOTTO: Before Glory, Loyalty...Before Pride, Honor...Before Self, the Empire.
HOMEPAGE: http://www.isdchallenge.org/tornado/index.htm
MESSAGE BOARD: http://www.tiecorps.org/mb/view.asp?b=39


FLIGHT I - MISSILE BOAT
Nickname: The Missile Magnets
Motto: Fighter Pilots make movies... Bomber Pilots make History
1) CM Master (capt_master@hotmail.com)
2) LCM Sint Seelasi (sints@interia.pl)
3) TBA
4) TBA


FLIGHT II - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: Nil Satis Nici Optimum
Motto: We have fought 1000 wars and we'll fight 1000 more for we fight the good fight
1) LCM Tomaas Montte (gl49036@yahoo.com)
2) LT Julius Marcus Aurelius (bondpp7_2@yahoo.com)
3) TBA
4) TBA


FLIGHT III - TIE DEFENDER
Nickname: The High Priests of Love
Motto: We're the Love Commandos and this is a Raid!
1) TBA
2) CPT Shakur (kloc495@aol.com)
3) COL Ramos Kanzco (Magedon42@aol.com )
4) TBA

~Dark Lord of the Week~

The highly prestigious title of Dark Lord of the Week is only given to the person who has most advanced the success of the Squadron, amused the CMDR, or slipped me the most £5 notes in a brown paper bag. This week's winner is:

LCM Tomaas Montte

Being the most active this week.

~Ewok of the Week~

Yub Yub!

Every story has a hero, every journey has a first step, every Fleet has a pilot who's about as much use as an ashtray on a speeder bike. This weeks' Prize Ewok is none other than:

Ramos

I still have no idea how he managed such a low score in TIE-FREE #195.

Respectfully Submitted,
CMDR-TCS/CM Master/Tornado/Wing X/ISD Challenge
BS/PC/ISMx9/MoT-1rh/IS-4BW-1PR/LoC-ISx14/DFC/CoL/CoB/LoAx2/OV [LGNR] {IWATS-AIM-CBX-GFX-ICQ-M/1/2-RT-SM/2-TM-TT-XAM-XTM-XTT}